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becca962

Would you have second thoughts about buying this house?

becca962
6 years ago

We are in escrow to purchase a property due to close mid June. It's a FSBO. We are also under contract to sell our house, also due to close mid June. The house we are buying is owned by a raging alcoholic, as described by her husband. The couple plans to build on a lot they own right next to the house they are selling. So we'll be neighbors.


The wife is a beligerent, angry drunk. As an example, we had the home inspection yesterday. We were out of state so sent someone in our place to accompany the inspector. The wife was yelling at them the entire time. Things like.....who the f*** do you think you are, you can do your f***ing inspection but we aren't f***ing paying for anything. We've had a couple of meetings (in the morning, no less) to sign paperwork and she's been beligerent, angry, and drunk.


Given the fact that we are going to be living next to her, I'm concerned that she's going to be a nightmare.


Would this make you think twice about purchasing the home? The house is waterfront. Perfect location on a big 3 acre lot. We'll put up a fence. I'm a small business owner and the last thing I need after a busy day is to come home and deal with a crummy neighbor.

Comments (59)

  • aprilneverends
    6 years ago

    your mortgage payment will go down, but your blood pressure will go up

    the more i think of it..I don't know. not good.

  • stolenidentity
    6 years ago

    No second thoughts here, just First Thought which is don't do it! Fences don't keep beligerence from coming over, busting through, or simply disrespecting the boundy you construct.

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  • littlebug zone 5 Missouri
    6 years ago

    It would be incredibly stressful to me. I wouldn't do it.

    At our very first house, DH and I had a bitter, mean, and loud old woman across the street. She made me miserable. DH laughed it off, but I couldn't.

  • pudgeder
    6 years ago

    Run.

    The last thing you want is to deal with insanity.

    If the husband recognizes the fact she's a raging drunk, then what's to say he's going to stay with her?

    If he's smart he'll run too. And then she'll be living next door to you. Just HER.

    RUN.

  • cpartist
    6 years ago

    What happens with the sale of your house?

  • Linda
    6 years ago

    With three acres, I would probably take a chance. Who knows, maybe once the house is sold, the guy is leaving. He may not be building anything, just trying to get the house sold to be done with her ;)

  • PRO
    MDLN
    6 years ago

    How well do you know, or want to get to know, members of law enforcement in your community? Have you talked to other neighbors about any previous problems?

  • User
    6 years ago

    If you are the type of person that let things go easily, then go for it. I am bothered quite a bit with situations like these and if the warning signs were there as in this case, I'd look elsewhere. I wish you luck with your decision as it is not an easy one, but trust what your gut and instincts are telling you.

  • Nothing Left to Say
    6 years ago

    I'd run.

  • becca962
    Original Author
    6 years ago

    I thought about asking the current neighbors. I'm sure if she finds out that won't help the matter. My husband is going to meet with her husband to go over the inspection report and he's thinking about bringing up our concerns about living next to her. It was so strange when he explained to us that she's a raging alcoholic. I didn't detect any embarassment or defensiveness about it. He was very matter-of-fact.

    We can get out of the sale of our house for another week.


    Funny that it was mentioned that the husband might be trying to sell the house so he can split. That's what my husband thinks.

  • Kathleen Squires
    6 years ago

    Doubt they will follow through and actually build next door. They are going to move somewhere after they sell to you. May never get their stuff together to build on the lot next door.

  • jane__ny
    6 years ago

    If she's that bad she'll get sick and wind up in the hospital. She'll be put in rehab and hopefully will stay sober.

    I would go ahead with the sale if that is the house you like. You will have enough land to forget she's next door.

    The odds are they won't fix anything on the inspection, but you won't know until you negotiate with the husband.

    I'd go for it.

    Jane

  • jakkom
    6 years ago
    last modified: 6 years ago

    I have three great neighbors and one good one. At one time the house of the 'good' neighbor was a rental, and we had a problem with those renters (other renters, no issues).

    Even those small problems, over a year's time, were enough to make us realize that bad neighbors really affected our personal peace of mind. We are very laid-back, with a 'live and let live' philosophy.

    But a bad neighbor is like a constant irritant, at least to us. Any time you dread seeing someone or getting caught in a conversation - it's a real downer when it's someone who lives next to you.

    For us, we're outside a lot (small house, big garden). We prefer that time to be peaceful and happy, not hiding from unpleasant confrontations or having to search around the edges of our lot to see if anything has been damaged by somebody's deliberate carelessness.

    I grew up with an alcoholic parent. I don't tolerate it well. There is nothing more destructive to domestic comfort than being sober around somebody who's a hostile, angry drunk.

  • User
    6 years ago

    I've had bad neighbors, and I've had good neighbors. Maybe I take things too personally, but there is no way in heck I'd go through with this sale. Good neighbors are worth their weight in gold to me.

    I've also lived on 3 acres. I'm flabbergasted at the people who think 3 acres is enough to "forget" about a bad neighbor. I disagree. Wildly. ;) My last house was on 3 acres. Trust me, it was not enough. Barking dogs, screaming children, and the sounds of motors revving and chain saws all transmit just fine across 3 acres.

    The woman sounds unhinged and you seriously could not pay me to live next to her. She's already exhibited animosity toward you so why would you voluntarily choose to be her neighbor?

  • My3dogs ME zone 5A
    6 years ago
    last modified: 6 years ago

    Becca, I had awful neighbors for several years after I bought my house. To make it brief, they made me not want to go outside and enjoy my yard, my beautiful river that runs next to my property. They shot out the windows of my nice garden shed...I spent thousands on a 6 foot cedar fence to keep the kids from riding their bikes over my lawn like it was a park just for them. I was never happier than when they disappeared in the middle of the night, and their house was sold to nice people.

    I also have a friend who is an alcoholic. She kept this hidden from people for many years, but her first DUI got her sent to rehab and she had to confess. She's been to rehab 4 times, still drinks and now has 3 DUIs under her belt. The things she does when drinking, this woman who presents a very nice facade to the public when sober, make this teetotaler incredulous.

    The perfect house in the perfect spot can't make up for what could potentially happen here. I do hope your husband meets her husband away from the home so they can talk while she isn't present. I hope it works out for you, but it could make you regret this purchase for many years.

  • palimpsest
    6 years ago

    My grandmother lived on 120 acres with a bad family of neighbors. They were still bad neighbors.

  • veggiegardnr
    6 years ago
    last modified: 6 years ago

    Do you think she's just obnoxious, or potentially dangerous? If you have any concerns at all that she could be a danger to you or your family, I would not buy the house.

    Growing up, our neighbors were alcoholics and they were a bit of a bother as they'd have loud yelling arguments. They eventually passed away (after I'd grown up and moved out) and then their alcoholic son moved in and he was simply awful. He was belligerent when not drunk and even more belligerent when he'd been drinking and I wouldn't willingly have a neighbor like that, no matter how many acres I had. He was constantly watching everything, peeking into mom's backyard (over a tall, solid, fence), and he complained constantly about everything he could think of to complain about...all ridiculous stuff. I had to block him from calling my phone because he'd get drunk and call me (complaining, threatening, and just being obnoxious) to rant about all sorts of ridiculous and petty things. When mom passed away and we sold the house, he tried to interfere with every potential buyer he could talk to, both when he was drunk and when he was not drunk. He told them all sorts untrue things about the property. We know we lost at least one sale, for sure, but he probably scared off numerous buyers (though we did end up with multiple offers, in the end). We're lucky we found people who liked the house so much that they were willing to live next to him.

    Overall, I guess it depends on how much you're willing to put up with to own that particular house. If you buy it, I'd have multiple plans in place for what you'll do if she starts getting obnoxious with you, depending on the situation and how bad it gets (e.g. a plan for if she's drunk and yelling across the fence, if she calls you on the phone, a plan for if she gets scary, what to do if she is drunk and on your property, etc.). Have you met the other neighbors? If they're nice, that would be good. On the other hand, one bad neighbor is bad enough, but multiple bad neighbors, well...

    Edited to add: it's true that you never know who you will end up with for neighbors because people move in and out. On the other hand, you're practically guaranteed to have at least one bad neighbor with this house.

  • maddielee
    6 years ago

    You never know who your neighbors may be. You could move into a wonderful neighborhood with good people and BAM someone sells! And the buyer, your new neighbor, can be the most awful person alive.

  • Ktdh
    6 years ago

    That is exactly what happened to us! Moved in 15 yrs ago lovely older couple next door who kept the place nice and tidy.

    Fast forward 4 years, he has a heart attack and she sells to a person who wants it for income property. No maintence and a revolving door of renters and sub-lets. We are selling our property right now and all the feedback has mentioned the condition of neighboring house and yard.

    We have lost offers because of it and it has reduced our property value.



  • becca962
    Original Author
    6 years ago

    Thanks everyone for your responses. They've helped validate how I'm feeling.


  • robo (z6a)
    6 years ago
    last modified: 6 years ago

    I would run away. This person is already shaping up to be a neighbour from hell. She's giving you the gift of advertising the fact beforehand. Not all of us get such a good warning. So yes I would run after I read some of the bad neighbour threads on here:

    http://ths.gardenweb.com/discussions/2571177/new-to-neighborhood-already-neighbor-problems-long

    http://ths.gardenweb.com/discussions/2355800/problem-with-next-door-neighbor-the-bully-and-the-fence

    http://ths.gardenweb.com/discussions/2577560/have-you-sold-because-of-a-neighbor-from-hell

    http://ths.gardenweb.com/discussions/2579419/neighbors-from-hell

  • User
    6 years ago
    last modified: 6 years ago

    Your situation is different from examples given in this thread, most are in small plots.

    You have 3 acres and one side is waterfront, how many sides your property would be next to them? There are many things could do to block future contact with them.

    In addition, how would you know if you find another property with good neighbors, you could not guarantee they would never move.

    I would go for it.

  • ellusionz
    6 years ago
    last modified: 6 years ago

    It can be hit or miss. I would recommend checking your local crime database website, see what types of crimes cops may have been called out to their house for. If you feel SAFE and think they'd just be annoying drunks sure. But remember, alcohol makes people do stupid things so it could always get worse. This day and age you can live years in a home and never meet your neighbors, you just don't need to anymore the way our society is. If them being annoying is livable go for it but if you think there could be a danger I would skip it. I would recommend getting security cameras outside asap and good lighting. Plant up big bushy trees and/or tall fences on that side of your property to start the division.

  • cpartist
    6 years ago

    Have they started to build yet? Filed plans? (You can check with your city or town online.)

    If not, where will they live in the meantime?

    Assuming they'll be renting, it will probably take them anywhere from a year to 2 years for them to complete the build. In that time, lots of things can happen. She can finally get sober, or he can divorce her, or they can decide to sell the property or...

    And if they don't build, how will you feel not buying the house?

  • hooked123
    6 years ago

    Can you offer to buy the lot they want to build on as well as the one you are already under contract for? I would most likely do it, I would doubt that they would ever build.

  • eandhl2
    6 years ago

    I would agree with your DH. If I liked the house, I would not give up a perfect 3 acres on water with a decreased mortgage. You don't know if they will build, will they stay together, will she dry out? Lots of ifs to give up for the waterfront location.

  • User
    6 years ago

    Maybe he will leave her, then she moves a rickety 5th wheel onto her lot and shows up at her old house every morning to use the bathroom.

  • T. J.
    6 years ago
    last modified: 6 years ago

    I'd seriously be reconsidering. I would contact the local police and inquire about the home you're looking to buy, and if there is a history of any disturbances at the location. Also, go talk to the neighbors on the other side of the home you're looking to buy and see what their experience has been with this couple. If you learn that the police have had to deal with them a lot, and the neighbors say only horrible things about them... run and don't look back.

  • aprilneverends
    6 years ago

    yeah..leaves a lot to speculate about, that's for sure

    one can write a movie scenario.."what if.." and "why in the first place"..

  • becca962
    Original Author
    6 years ago

    There's definitely a lot of what if scenarios.


    They've not started to build nor have they submitted the plans. They were supposed to take care of granting themselves an easement to use the boat ramp from their lot but never took care of that either. I suppose that's good and bad if we proceed with the sale. They won't have a legal easement. We will be installing a fence and gate so there will be no open access.


    My husband tried to schedule a time to meet with the husband out of the house and away from the wife. She was yelling in the background the whole time that they weren't allowed to meet without her so a private meeting isn't going to happen.


    My husband and I both have some doubts about buying the house. If we rescind both offers, we'll have to pay our agent for advertising and pay the buyers of our house their inspection and appraisal fees.


    And I'm not sure that it matters, but we'll be paying over a million for the house. The guy is a dentist about to retire from his small town practice so I think he's fairly reasonable. It's just the wife who's an issue.

  • biondanonima (Zone 7a Hudson Valley)
    6 years ago

    Becca, make sure they're not making the easement a condition of the sale (or that they're not going to make your life hell after the fact for not giving them one) if you don't want them to have easement. We had a similar situation with the house we just bought (former owners own and now live in the house next door) and they were a bit sneaky about the whole easement situation. It turned out that they didn't have the right to grant themselves easement because the easement originated with the neighbor on the other side, but it still complicated the whole process.

  • becca962
    Original Author
    6 years ago

    We are pretty easy going and it's not that I don't want "them" to have an easement. He's fine. If we move forward, we'll consult an attorney how to best write it up with very specific parameters. As long as she is reasonable, we'll be reasonable but there will need to be a clause that protects us if she's not.

  • sushipup1
    6 years ago

    Just when exactly do you plan to see an attorney about an easement? Do I understand that these people have no RE agent but that you also have no agent for the purchase? I'd have been at the attorney's office yesterday and that might be too late. This deal has more loose ends than a basket of yarn scraps. And the screaming drunk is only a small part of it.

  • cpartist
    6 years ago

    The problems with an easement is if you grant it to them, they have the right to sell it to the next owner so you won't know who has it next. Plus having the easement may make it harder for you to sell the house in the future if you want to. I wouldn't grant them an easement.

  • becca962
    Original Author
    6 years ago

    We have an agent on our end. They are FSBO and refused to work with our agent. As a group, we sat down with an independent agent to consult on the paperwork. They were supposed to take care of the easement with the county before we signed the docs. We were fine with the easement before we spent time with them. When we met with the consulting agent, it was to be worded that the easement isn't granted to their lot, but to them personally and will not convey if they sell or die.


    I agree that having an easement will be a detriment if we try and sell.

  • palimpsest
    6 years ago

    To me it sounds like you want to buy it regardless, which is your prerogative but the more I hear the more I would not want to give as_____es like that $1M of my money. Surely this isn't the only lakefront property to ever have come on the market.

  • becca962
    Original Author
    6 years ago

    palimpsest--I don't want to buy it. I've processed everything and have made my decision that I don't want to sell and deal with these problems. My husband, on the other hand, wants the house. We'll talk tonight. I'm trying to decide if this is the hill I'm willing to die on, figuratively speaking. I know it's going to be a battle with my husband and I don't want it to affect my marriage :(


    I really do appreciate all the feedback. It helps.

  • palimpsest
    6 years ago

    I apologize, I realize if you wanted to you wouldn't be posting. I was using You collectively to mean your husband and I should not have really said it that way because it is not you.

  • User
    6 years ago

    I have pushed through to deals when all the red flags were waving and ppl everywhere were saying wait! Stop! It's human. You get your mind set. Usually it turns out I should have paid attention to the red flags.

    I wish I could offer advice. I know for me the more strident people get, the more I dig in my heels. I think one thing that has worked is when all the potential problems get laid out in black and white. Bullet points on paper or email, whatever. Away from personality.

    I tried to stop something myself one time. It didn't work!

    Good luck!

  • FeatherBee
    6 years ago

    I will offer a different viewpoint. Lets say hubby wins and you move in. Maybe you and the wife will get along and you'll see her sober side and she isn't that bad (?) I believe this called wishful thinking... but hey there's a chance.

    This is such a tough situation. I don't know what I would do. I always worry about mean people tossing poison or something in my yard to harm my animals. Or doing stuff to my home when I'm gone.

    Could you imagine having a Christmas party and the drunk neighbor yelling obscenities as guests enter your home? I'm someone who would laugh and not be offended, but my goodness I wouldn't want to deal with that if given the choice. Million dollar budget - I'd look elsewhere. And if you're having concerns then anyone else looking to buy that home will have them too.

    Keep us posted.

  • becca962
    Original Author
    6 years ago
    last modified: 6 years ago

    Quick Update: We aren't buying the house. My husband had an access agreement drawn up by his legal department and delivered it last week. In response, the sellers paid for an attorney to write an easement giving themselves and anyone they so choose to have unfettered access to the property and boat ramp. They filed it with the county.

    I feel really bad for our buyers. They have been great and easy to work with. Our contract states, as sellers, we have 30 days from mutual acceptance to cancel the contract. We are within that time period, but boy do I feel horrible for cancelling on them.

  • biondanonima (Zone 7a Hudson Valley)
    6 years ago

    Glad the easement stuff got worked out while you were still within your cancellation period on your current home! And good luck to those owners with a future sale - no one is going to want that property with such a broad easement.

    becca962 thanked biondanonima (Zone 7a Hudson Valley)
  • palimpsest
    6 years ago

    I think you dodged a bullet. I know alcoholics of several stripes happy sad angry and indifferent and that situation is much more involved than that with both the wife and the husband.

  • User
    6 years ago

    Wow, what a bogus easement lol. Good for you. Yes, tough on your buyers but you have to protect yourself.

  • cpartist
    6 years ago

    So glad you got out of that one with that easement. That's a non-starter and they just killed any future deal for themselves.

  • becca962
    Original Author
    6 years ago
    last modified: 6 years ago

    Question for the real estate pros....

    We got the packet of docs from the title company that they mailed before we rescinded the purchase and sale agreement. In the packet was the legal description of the property and the easements. The easement that was just recorded giving the sellers access to the boat ramp was not included.

    Does the title company do a final search? Would this newly recorded easement have been caught before closing (assuming a person wouldn't know about it beforehand). We had our real estate attorney write the rescission agreement. He stated that it was legal for the sellers to file the easement since we were in the inspection period. Just wondering what's to stop a person from slipping in an easement and having it go unnoticed by the prospective buyers.

  • cpartist
    6 years ago

    Good question becca. I'd love to hear the answer to that one too.

  • hooked123
    6 years ago
    last modified: 6 years ago

    You dodged a bullet! I wouldn't want a property with an easement that allowed anyone access to my dock. What if you wanted to relax and enjoy the water and here comes drunkard 1 and her friends partying and cussing- no thanks!

  • homechef59
    6 years ago
    last modified: 6 years ago

    Yes. It was legal. Once the initial title search was done, which would reveal easements and clouds on the title, it would be repeated a day or so before closing. The second search would cover only the time between the last search and closing. It would only take a few moments to perform a final search by a title researcher.

    I had something like this happen to me once. We were selling our home. We were going to the closing that morning when we got a phone call from the closing attorney. It seemed that the neighbor behind us, an attorney, filed a lawsuit against us over a fence the day before we were scheduled to close. The title researcher found it on their last minute title check. We hadn't even been served. It took six months to straighten it out. I got the call while the moving company was loading the truck. Luckily for us, the buyers were willing to rent the house until we could get it resolved.

    becca962 thanked homechef59