I retired at age 55 and enjoyed a year of 'retirement' but decided to venture out to do several other things after that period. That year provided my wife and I some time to get reacquainted and enjoy some distant time together. Following that first year I felt that I needed to spend time in projects that I enjoyed. It wasn't long after that that I found myself back to work full-time in a couple other endeavors. Now that I am 63 years of age I retired again and this time working on projects that I truly love involving social activities. Retirement is an evolving process. Even though your husband may route retire at 55 it is very likely that you will find other things to do that will be more fulfilling than the job that he's doing now. This is a good time of life for both of you so take advantage of what it has to offer. Best of luck in whatever you choose to do. Here is a link that might be useful: Active Empty Nesters

No, duluth, you're not the odd one out, but you're one of the sensible ones, LOL! DH and I were sloppy about a lot of things and didn't catch on until our mid to late 40s. We're fortunate things worked out but like you, there was a pension for DH that we could rely upon. Sadly, fewer and fewer have that option any longer. Anyway, it occurred to me I hadn't actually answered some of the OP's questions, so my bad. Here's my answers: 1) At what age do you hope to retire? I retired in 2006 at age 55. DH retired at the end of 2009 at age 56. I retired because I couldn't find a job within reasonable commute distance that was worth being away from home 10 hrs/daily, 5 days/wk. Salaries had dropped precipitiously (and remain low even now). I had job offers, but they would have involved a killer commute - using my car in SF Bay Area traffic for a 3-hr roundtrip would have essentially negated any extra salary above what was being offered around my home town. Had the money been really needed, I could have continued working for another 10 yrs, just with lower $$ expectations. I enjoyed what I did and met a lot of great people, many of whom I'm still in regular contact with. A large factor in my retiring was when my MIL moved in with us. We discovered our weekly visits had not shown us the real issue - a very gradual dementia. She is functional day to day, but there's no way she should live alone any longer. Because she shares household expenses with us, it makes up for what I would have netted from a full-time job. 2) Will you stay in your current home or move? We are staying put for now. We like where we live; we love our neighbors and they love us; it's convenient in location to our friends, family, and a wide range of attractions/activities. However, this is not a home for the disabled or elderly. It cannot be retrofitted at a reasonable cost. The area is all rolling hills and our property has a double slope, making gardening a real work-out! We have no sentimental attachment to a structure of wood, stucco and glass. It is a roof over our heads, it has served us well, it is extremely comfortable having been extensively remodeled. When the time comes that it's too much trouble to take care of, which I foresee coming in the next 5-10 yrs, we will gladly pack up and leave. We would like to live in a specific CCRC we've visited, but time will tell if it will work out financially. If not, we have sufficient assets to have other options for the next phases of our lives, whether together or singly. 3) What kind of investments or income sources will you have? DH has a defined benefit pension with 2% annual COLA and full medical at low cost (no vision or dental, though). His mid-range six-figure retirement account is our backup, we don't need to take distributions. We live a very comfortable lifestyle in an extremely expensive area, entirely on his pension. The last two years DH worked were a 'trial run' for budget purposes. He was contributing extra to his retirement account so we were living on the equivalent of what his estimated pension would be. So when he did retire, there were no surprises or shortfalls. I have three small pension/annuities from former employers that will start at age 65. I'm eligible for full SocSec at 66. These income sources will mitigate any inflationary pressures in future years. Because I have almost no retirement savings, I carry term life in the amount of $750K to ensure DH would have additional financial assets through my age 70, at which point the policy expires and we won't worry about how much more $$$ he needs should I predecease him. BTW, this is what I mean about properly assessing your own morbidity and mortality risks. DH suffered a stroke at age 50 and if he lives past 75 it will be a wonderful gift. But genetics are totally against him, so his odds are at best 50-50 to reach age 85 or order. My odds are about the same or slightly better. Both of us have family histories of diabetes and heart trouble. These are no longer the killers they were, but they are disablers. We have no children and relatively few family, even locally. Therefore, we each carry very good unlimited benefit LTC policies to cover facility care and home healthcare as we age. We have had these policies since our late 40's, and buying them was the smartest thing we ever did. Once DH had his stroke, he would never have qualified for anything affordable, even if I'd been able to find a carrier, for the next five years afterward. The total premiums we've paid for both policies over ten years, don't even equal six months in a good facility for only one of us. 4) Do you plan to work part time, or what kind of activities will you do? Retirement has been great. We sleep when we want, we eat when we're hungry, we don't have to dance to anyone else's tune, and we get to do errands mid-week/mid-day, when the check-out lines are shorter and sales clerks more relaxed. I garden and like to read (Amazon knows me SO WELL). I spend a lot of time on the PC as it's my lifeline: I shop, read, research, and communicate almost totally by computer. Every day I read three newspapers on-line: the local, the NY Times, and the WSJournal. Recently we went on a 5-week driving trip through the Pacific NW and I spent hundreds of hours on the PC researching every travel segment, hotel, restaurants, and attractions. Exhausting, but the trip was a huge success and it was worth the work. I set up a restaurant review blogsite last year. We dine out regularly and my reviews are fairly long, so this helps me keep them organized. This year I've set up a travel blogsite after our five 2010 trips. I'm not in love with blogging, but did this after being asked by friends to set up something on the web so they could access everything more easily. For 2011 I plan to revamp our garden website and that will be a huge undertaking. I have thousands of photos to winnow down and organize. DH is a media junkie. It isn't uncommon for him to have two TVs on and his three computers running simultaneously. All this while he does his hobby stuff (wargaming). Talk about multi-tasking, LOL! He's a sweetie, he'll do anything I want to do. A good partnership: I like to organize and he'll accompany me anywhere. We also like to walk, but he can walk further than I can so he sometimes takes himself off to hike alone in state parks. I'm an urban walker, I like to know there's people around if I need help. We both do yoga, but different types. His former boss occasionally gives him contract work, which is easy money but doesn't happen often.

Well, from my 45 years of experience being single, there are several "marriage waves" that a person can ride. One is the high school one. Virtually everyone in high school is single and so lots of people meet and pair up then. After that comes the college wave, ditto. Then comes the first years out of college/career establishment phase. A lot of people who meet during this time meet as they are both starting out work. This phase is a little more difficult, because some careers are going to take a lot of time and energy to establish. There are issues that can arise in a woman's life at each of those stages that makes it hard for her to ride the wave to matrimony. After that, the pickings get slim, because a large proportion of the people in your age/social marriage class have gotten married. I think there is a fourth wave, the divorce wave starting in the 40's, and then finally a widowed wave. I'm not sure which wave you rode Mary, but after 35, things get really difficult on the dating scene, no way to sugar coat it. Men who want and are able to accomodate committed relationships tend to get into them by the time they reach 35 or so. Notice I said TEND, this is just a generalization and there are exceptions. And therein lies the challenge, you are looking for the exception in the haystack. They are there, but you have to root around, which is an emotionally trying and time consuming process. If your friends are really serious about the hunt for a good relationship, they will have to do some rather "unpleasant" marketing of themselves, and they will need all the support they can get from you. You are the perfect one to give it, since you're not the "competition." My best friends have been absolute gems this year supporting me trying to find someone decent to date and have a relationship with. It is just unbelievably hard but I won't go on and on about it here because that isn't the subject of this post. I just wanted to tell you Mary that your friends are lucky that they have you. I would have curled up and died long ago had it not been for my wonderful friends. BTW, a book that I have been using to assist me is called "How to Find a Husband After 35, Using What I Learned in Harvard Business School." It is one of the most "out there" books you will ever find on the subject of dating, but I don't mind it so much, you don't have to agree with everything the author writes about. Basically the author's premise is that you can use the same guerilla marketing techniques someone might use to get a new project or business going to get a marriage going. Having worked in a situation where I reviewed lots of resumes, interviewed and hired lots of people, I can say that I do believe that the two processes are similar. I've had to market myself in order to get a job, and I've used my techniques to help friends get jobs. So tell your friends if they can get a job, they can get a man, and if they can make a good "hire" they can choose the right partner. That approach sounds cold and calculating, and to some exent it is, but the book also has lots of suggestions on how to reach out to your friends and neighbors to assist them in your "quest" which for me has actually been kind of spiritually uplifting. My friends now all know I am looking to get married and they are being very supportive. Another book I found helpful that I picked up in the bargin book bin was "The Dating Secrets of the Ten Commandments" and it is written by a rabbi who used the spiritual guides of the Ten Commandments as starting points for a series of essays on male/female relationships. See, that book really isn't about "dating" as much as relationships, but which would sell better, "The DATING Secrets of the Ten Commandments" or "The RELATIONSHIP Secrets of the Ten Commandments." One is a racy anomaly, one sounds preachy. It's all about marketing! :-) Anyway, the rabbi doesn't take himself too seriously, there are a lot of funny bits in the book with some of the serious ideas. It is a little on the schmaltzy side, a little overdone, but there are a few pearls in there.

I just retired in July. Read, go to a gym, take a well-deserved road trip. That's what I've done so far. (Well, also, post more on GardenWeb, but that's not really counting.) I'm thinking about volunteer work -- things I'd enjoy doing, and have enough skill at, that could be useful to others. I've done this in the past, and while the reason for doing some of that was not due to any pleasurable event, I'm glad I was able to spend some time helping out, despite going home and crying a couple nights over the senselessness of some people. (I currently live 15 minutes from Sandy Hook, Newtown.) That was before I retired, but there's a lot of other volunteer work that can provide the satisfaction of having helped as well as one can. I'm going to start a business with a friend, and I'm going to write. I'm going to hone up my photography skills, and take up woodworking, and get back into stained glass endeavors. I'm going to get back out hiking in the wilderness, and start up a small farm with chickens, veggies, and maybe down the road - small livestock. I'm single. I'm going to make the best of this time! (If nothing else, check into an online networking group called Meetup. You'll find they are doing things in just about every region of the country, and maybe in other countries, too. It's for people who just want to get out and about in the company of other like minded souls -- yes there is an element of people wanting to connect for other purposes, but I found that searching for groups that did things around my own interests has been markedly rewarding -- I'm in a book club, and I'm in a gourmet cooking group. Your interests will vary, so check around.) I'm doing another road trip in October. I'll visit relatives, friends, and see sights I've never seen before. Some evenings/nights will be with these people, but in South Carolina, I'll be striking out on my own -- and it won't bother me. My final destination is to visit my year old grand nephew in the Tampa area of Florida - and his family, of course. I've yet to meet him. The time is due!!