Hi Clare~~I don't really have anything concrete to tell you, but I am literally going through the exact same thing. My DH's company CLOSED in October, and since he is 58 years old and was in the financial market, there is no hope of him finding another job, so we are trying to figure out how to semi-retire. For the first few months, I thought I would pull every hair out of my head. Thank God, I work full-time at a job I absolutely love, so that is a huge help. However, I, too gave him a few months to settle into a different type of living, but lately, I am getting very aggravated because since I work all day, and then come home to cook, do laundry, etc., I find that he sits at the computer or TV ALL day and does nothing. I am ready to run away. Our third son, who still lives with us (20 yrs.old) is bipolar, and my husband suffers from depression. All I can say is that you need to get out of the house a few times a week and work it out with him to help with your son. If you don't get alone time, things get tougher. I find that I am looking at my DH differently because I feel like he is just lazy. I know things will work out eventually, but if you don't make some time for yourself, it will definitely get harder. I'm sorry that I don't have anything more valuable to tell you. Hang in there, and like others have said....."in good times and bad times". Take care.

My Dad didn't mind travelling ... if there was a friend or relative at the other end to make the trip worthwhile. I like it better than he, but did trans-Pacific three times, and round -the-world once, so have done a good bit of it, in earlier times. On the first trans-Pacific trip (I'd never seen the ocean till that summer of '53) we left Los Angeles on a Swedish ship with six passengers, travelled north of Hawaii, not too far from the Aleutians, I think, on our way to the Philippines .... out of sight of land for 18 days: gives one an idea that this world is a big place! As we entered Manila Bay, about 30 miles long, we passed Corregidor, the last hold-out as the Japanese took the Philippines, from which Macarthur departed by sub, vowing to return. I thought that, had our ship been in those waters, 10 years earlier, we'd have had two choices - go into port, to be interned ... or go below. I figured that in that great war, those guys and gals had bought us some time, and that it was our job to learn how to build a world where we could get along with one another, not just "without fighting" ... but where we could have really positive lifestyles, respecting and caring for one another. I get some lonely at times, but have lived alone for over 40 years, some of it sharing with an arm's length friend, and have learned to build pretty well the life that I choose. Some have suggested that I get on with life - to remarry, etc. but I maintained a sense of affection for the former spouse, even though we scarcely ever spoke. Part of it related some to the situation that, after one had been run over by a truck ... when one heard truck wheels coming down the road ... one started to shake. She died nine years ago. Not having come to terms with that and having taken more active interest in finding another candidate for a closer relationship may have meant a less interesting life ... but we'll never know about that. One offspring married for about 5 years, broke up and has had a couple of relationships since, one currently operational. The other hadn't had a close relationship till past 40, has built one in recent years but is keeping that at somewhat arm's part-length (his instigation, I think). I have a number of interests, including that mile of garden row last summer, that I did only a half-assed job of operating: last summer was not a good time for gardening, many local gardeners claim. I have interests at church and in the community, and friends in different areas of living. I've sometimes suggested to folks approaching .. or in ... seniorhood that it's a good idea to keep making new friends ... cause the current ones tend to die off on one: a tendency that becomes more pronounced as one advances in years I've heard. I find that as I move about in the community, I'll make a comment to strangers on the street, in the checkout line at the store, etc., and suspect that I'd do less of that if I shared house with someone(s). Usually there's a good, short, exchange ... and seldom do I get chopped of, and seldom by women, either: I look rather old and harmless, I guess. I enjoy living in the country, grew up on a farm, and figure that I can live in what used to be uncle's house as long as I can drive. I've suggested to landlord that one of his becoming-adult sons may want the house, but he says that I can live there as long as I choose. I think that the eldest might want to have a fancier house than the one that I inhabit. He and his girlfriend broke up a while ago, which set him back on his heels some. We have a non-contributory government payout program, (term of residence required) and a mandatory contributory national pension plan, plus my partial private pension and personal retirement program ... and I am able to manage, Frugal Fella that I am (by choice) to live within them. While many clergy in an earlier time lived in employer-provided housing, they knew that when they became unemployed or retired ... that deal would die, so they'd need to provide their own. They had the advantage of being able to save for that, not be living in accommodation only partly theirs, and partly the bank's ... for which the bank expected (reducing) compensation, over many years. Along with that saving plan, however, it was important to put some current income aside for possible need during one's retirement years. As I live within my pensions ... I regard my investments as more or less "play money" ... ... that I may need in case of health problems or need for care in future. Or can leave to offspring and charities. As my body has seldom told me, "Listen, you darned (now 'old') fool - I can't do that for you any more!" ... I've been sort of spoiled, over the years. I think that one of my major concerns is the possibility of becoming disabled, of the physical or mental variety. All in all ... I'm pleased with my life as it is. And very thankful. ole joyful ... well - that, too!

I know this comment is very much after the fact but I would just like to offer Seattle and the greater Puget Sound area as a wonderful place to retire. I have lived here my entire life and while I have traveled extensively across the country, there is nowhere else I would consider living. First, the area is extremely scenic.......make that drop-dead gorgeous!! Anywhere you might choose to settle will provide views to mountains and natural areas and you are never more than a few miles away from water.........lots of water!! The Sound, many lakes and rivers and streams. Because of the geography (nothing here is really flat), view properties are plentiful. Any outdoor activity you are interested in - skiing and other winter sports, hiking, camping, hunting, boating, etc. - can be easily addressed without any extensive car travel. Second is the weather. Most who have never lived here have huge misconceptions about the weather. IMO, it is excellent. Never too hot, never too cold and contrary to common opinion, it does NOT rain here constantly!! In fact, total average annual rainfall in Seattle is much lower than many other places in the US. Summers are sunny and very dry........winters damp and cool and snow infrequent. Seldom a need for any A/C and no summer humidity. There are 4 distinct seasons and each offers its own attractions. And no strange weather issues that generate ferocious storms.......no hurricanes, no tornadoes and while we do exist on a major fault line, earthquakes are extremely rare. Seattle is a vibrant, active and very cosmopolitan city. Lots of cultural activities, a major sports center and a foodie paradise. Yes, it is expense to live in town but there are scores of smaller communities within easy access of the city that are far less expensive. I live across the Sound, just a quick ferry ride away from downtown Seattle but a world away in terms of a rural feel and reduced cost of living. Puget Sounders for the most part are extremely well educated, entrepreneurial, friendly, and polite and many have a very artistic bent with many smaller communities known for their support of the arts. In short, living in the Puget Sound/greater Seattle area will provide all the advantages of a big city (colleges, employment, superb medical care, museums, theatres, restaurants and shopping) combined with a very strong community feel of the smaller, more rural and very scenically located surrounding towns. What's not to like ??

Hi cheery one, I'm pleased that you're happy with the "pro"s of your retirement. And somewhat sad that you're feeling that you're not keeping up to the mark of what you'd hoped/planned to do. If you feel the need to beat yourself over the back about that - make sure it's with a wet noodle ... and only five strokes, O.K? As for the "average" retiree, I don't feel that I have too much of a handle on that ... and wonder what level of expertise you may claim in that department? I think that it's important to do things that we can be pleased with ourselves for having done, at the end of the day ... week ... month ... year. Something that I note to have been scarcely mentioned in this thread so far is the need that all of us retirees have to concern ourselves about (as well as people in the workforce) is the erosion of the value of our income (and, for us retirees, our assets) due to inflation, every year for about the last 80. There hasn't been much increase in incomes in recent years, except for the wealthy few ... but the prices keep going up ... and for most of us, those prices of much of the goods and services that we buy have been and are going up faster than the official rate of inflation. When we put money in the bank, or buy bonds, etc. which pay us the same number of dollars after several years that we gave them in the first place, apart from the "rent" on the money, it isn't only taxes and living expenses that much come out of the earnings ("rent on the money"), but an allowance for inflation, as well, in order to keep the purchasing power of those assets equal in ten years to what it is now. Good wishes to you for dealing well with the days ahead: may they be as many as please you, with good health, friends, enough bucks to meet your needs, things to do and a few challenges, here and there. ole joyfuelled