I can only speak from my own experience, as different councils run their allotments differently. There are definitely issues with theft and vandalism in some areas but luckily I have not suffered from it much. I have had the same plot for around 15 years now and have had one spade, one rake, one fork and one reel of hosepipe stolen in two separate incidents. The tools were left leaning against a compost bin by a footpath and the hose was coiled up amongst the soft fruit bushes. I have never noticed any crops being stolen or vandalised. The plot itself is actually half of the original allotment size. All have been divided to allow more people to use them. I don't know the exact measurements but it must be about 125 - 150 square feet. I have a green gage tree, raspberries, black and red surrants, gooseberries, strawberries, Jerusalem artichokes, rhubarb and perennial herbs like rosemary, sage, thyme, fennel etc as permanent residents. At the moment I am harvesting Autumn raspberries, runner and French beans, chard, lettuces, herbs, kale, courgettes (zucchini) and beetroot. Over winter I will have kales, sprouting broccoli, rocket, chard, leeks and chicory. The first spring crop(other than the winter ones which keep going) will be broad beans (favas). The climate means there is something to pick almost all year round and sowing and planting happen in many months. I have given up on potatoes because they always get blight and take up too much space. There is a tap right beside it for watering if necessary. (I hit the jackpot here because when I took it on there was no tap. Then along came the council and laid on water, placing a tap right beside my plot. The next tap is 5 plots away.) The rent is now around £30 per year which includes unlimited water, regular dumping of leaves collected by the council for gardeners' use and mowing of the grass around the perimeter of the site. Plot holders are responsible for mowing the grass paths between each plot. There is an Allotments Association which has a scheme for selling cut price materials and seeds but it is the council which governs the site and oversees the rents and waiting list. You must have at least 2/3 of your plot cultivated and the rest under control or you will be sent warning letters and ultimately evicted but what you cultivate and how you do it is up to you. Relations between plot holders are civilized but by no means universally cordial. I still do not know why the chap on one side of me doesn't speak to me any more but most people are very friendly. For example a neighbour tied up my tomatoes after a storm and we swap plants and produce. In return I have helped her dig out tough old plants which she can't manage. It would be very hard to imagine another plot holder damaging or stealing from your plot, although cases of feuding have been known in some places. Finally, no I don't blog. Just post on garden web if I think I have something to add.

Wonderful photos, Cindee! For some reason, I still cannot get to your link... but the photos you've posted are awesome! The Passiflora is one of those "Weird & Wonderful" things that just blow your mind! What shape and color! I bought a Hymenocallis bulb, planted it... and here it sits. It hasn't even rooted in well. Even the Scadoxus bulb is finally showing leaf tips... but the Hymenocallis could be a ping pong ball for all it's grown! What's the secret? Yours is gorgeous, Cindee! It looks so delicate and fragile! But it's very pretty... I wish mine would do something! And your Rain Lily... aren't they wonderful little things?!! I just love them! Well... as soon as I walk Maia, I'm off to get some snapshots of today's gardens! I just know you'll all love the Roses! Happy Gardening!

Oh boy can I relate. We went through that so many times....but we were by ourselves. DH is an only child and my brother never helped with anything. We did DH's grandmother's NYC apartment, his parent's NYC apartment, my mother's house of 50 years (plus 3 barns full of stuff!) when she moved to her condo here, and then after she passed, the condo and her house in FL. Then we had to pack or toss everything from the old house that was on this property (DH's family's summer place) and move it to our old house while we tore it down and rebuilt. Then we had to pack and move everything to the new house once it was built so we could sell the our old house. There's a reason why my attic looks like a goodwill store! My cousin is going through the same thing with her Dad's house of 60 years. We spent an evening together trying to determine who was who in the boxes of photos we've amassed as everyone from that generation is no longer with us to ask....so please label your photos! It's also a key reason why I don't have a bread maker and a rice cooker et. al. It's also a reason why I try to decorate with what I have...it's so hard to justify buying more stuff, even if it isn't perfectly my taste. After you go through that, you realize that yesterday's "gotta have" is tomorrow's "gotta get rid of this drek!"

Are you ready for the me or her ultimatum? That is kind of where you are. Are you sure you are ready to throw in the towel on your husband? If sd wasn't in the picture, would you be walking away from the marriage at all? Can you try the disengaging first and see how that goes? Sounds like you feel she is running the house - and I'd bet she is right now. I went thru the same thing with my oldest stepson - he is still doing it from 1000 miles away to some extent, but I am removing myself from the game - that was my new years resolution - getting off the guilt roller coaster. Are you taking your 7 year old with you tonight? Do you not want to talk to him because you feel like you have been talking til you are blue in the face and he just doesn't get it? Accepting that they don't get it is hard. You aren't crazy - a 7 year old boy is not on the same level as a 14 year old girl. NO way! She is strong and smart and testing how powerful she can be - hell yes she is capable of towing the line around the house. I have a 14 year old daughter, I know how they are. Part of it is teenager and part is manipulation because she can - because your husband is letting her. You probably can't get the point across to him either, that he isn't doing her any favors not letting her take responsibility and consequences for her behavior. Disengaging is the key. Letting him deal with her. And if she ends up messed up, if you aren't involved with her discipline - you aren't to blame. Puts the responsibility for her behavior back on him for parenting and her for growing up. Some kids just do mess up. Detach. He says he wants you to help, but his actions tell you to butt out. Watch the actions, don't listen to the words. I'd just say go ask your Dad on everything. Keep putting it all back on him. If he does get deployed I would say send her to her mother's. He second guesses you every time you try to discipline her - so he is telling you he doesn't trust your parenting. So don't leave her with you! My husband did the same thing with his oldest son. It's not fun and the kid has been in lots of trouble and doesn't know right from wrong. He is out of the house now, but you are always waiting for a call, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Figure out what you are trying to accomplish leaving and think about the possible outcomes. Good luck