Thank you, Ida, for this great reminder. Part of what I am doing this holiday season is working on my attitude toward a family member. I have been very negative (inwardly, never overtly) about this person and I am working on changing myself to be more loving even when it is difficult, which it often is. I am trying to focus on the positive and being grateful for the many blessings in my life and on being a blessing to others.

#'s 1, 6, 5 and 7 are constants for me. The others, yes, when the occasion arises. Service members go ahead of me in line or we'll take care of their bill at a restaurant. I love the expression on a stranger's face when given a compliment, especially someone who appears to not typically receive compliments. Basically, follow the golden rule.

Thank you for posting this, and thank you for even editing it make it more universal. I

t's timely for ANY time. Beautiful reminders - it really is often the little things that can turn a day around. thank you again.

I do #1, 5, 6 and 7 as well. They are so easy to do as they cost nothing, don't take any time, won't make you late and don't put you out.

I'm currently doing #4 (sort of) as a friend of mine just had her right knee replaced and so is unable to drive. I'm picking her up from physio twice a week to take her home and then take her to work or home once a week (she only works one day a week). Is it "technically" out of my way, sure, but is it out of my way "friendship-wise" - no it isn't.

ETA - Re: #1 - During Christmas it is every man for himself in the parking lot - no freebies. :)

I just finished reading Kindness Grows. It's a collection of stories of people who have given and received random acts of kindness.

The librarians in town are pushing it, hoping to get everyone in town to read it. It's a stretch goal for sure, but well intentioned.

There's also http://www.moreloveletters.com/ where you can write letters to strangers who are in need of support, or others who just leave random letters in books or stores or other places that are addressed to the person who finds the letter with words of encouragement.

I need to remember 5! I always feel the need to acknowledge the other person and carry on a conversation and probably often jump in before I should.

I like Sue's tip about truly acknowledging service workers. I worked as a bank teller in a very busy branch many years ago. At work I often felt like a cash machine. People rarely made eye contact or acknowledged me. Good life lesson for a twenty year old.

Thank you IdaClaire for posting this, and all the rest of you for your comments. This is a wonderful thought and action provoking post.

1, 2, 6, & 7 is a constant with me. There is one thing that I never thought of until it happened to me, and I'll never forget it as long as I live.

I was standing alone outside an ER room while a family member was being doctored up. This older woman was coming down the hall and she walked over to me and said, "You look like you need a hug," then proceeded to hug me. I nearly cried.

So if you see someone who looks sad or lonely, just give them a hug. :)

Oakley, I think only old ladies can get away with that. ;-)

Shortly after my FIL passed away my MIL (in her late 80's at the time) was in the grocery store parking lot. The employee who had helped her load her car said, "You look like you could use a hug," and gave her one. MIL is not one to typically appreciate something like this but she did that day.

Really, it can be such a little thing that makes a difference. Opening the door, letting someone out in traffic, etc. And do it with a smile. Not only will it matter to the other person - you'll be surprised at how good you will feel. Gosh - if only people smiled at each other more!

I 100% agree with tinam61. I know I appreciate little things that :-)

I try to be courteous to others...letting the person with a few items go ahead of me in the check-out line, holding the door for a stranger, taking carts back into the store, parking further away so those that need it can have the closer parking spaces...but I admit there are times when I find it difficult to repay rudeness with a smile.

Thanks so much for what you've shared. I do believe that happiness is contagious, and encouraging one another to do good things is important. I also believe it's the little things that so often make the difference between a completely crappy day and one that was redeemed and made beautiful.

That said, I do have a difficult time not relying on my feelings/moods to determine what I'm willing to put forth towards others. I know this is wrong, and it's something I'm working on. I know that I always feel better about myself, others, and the world in general when I choose to be kind and selfless -- but in all honesty, my first instinct is to remain insular, even selfish (and ugly) at times. It's terribly difficult to repay rudeness with kindness, but I believe that's what we are called to do. It's hard to admit that I struggle with simply being nice, but I think the first step is in recognizing where one is failing and determining to do better - even if "better" only comes in small increments.

I know how great it makes me feel to do an unexpected kindness for someone, usually an older person, and I know they appreciate it, like helping a woman who was parked in the handicapped zone on a cold day by loading her groceries in her trunk. I helped another older woman find the Kraft Old English Cheese spread placed way above our heads in the dairy section, and another woman saw me pass it to her, and she bought some, too. :-)

I love to write notes to people I work with and mail them to their house. Nurses especially need encouragement. This is the time of year when it gets busier. They work 12 hour shifts. They are juggling all their holiday shopping and planning like the rest of us. So when I see them spending time patiently explaining meds to a patient, rubbing a cramp out of someone's foot, rocking a sick toddler so the mom can take a break, washing a little lady's hair so she can feel pretty when her family visits.......I want them to know that someone noticed and appreciates them.

We have graduate nurses that work under another RN for quite a while before they charge. I always try to leave a note with a pretty angel or a cross for new charge nurses. I talk about their strengths, what makes them special and why I am absolutely confident they are ready for their new role.

i remember those times when I was younger and less confident. Everyone loves to be noticed!

Thanks for this, Ida. I know as I have gotten older that even though I am in excellent health, it makes me more mindful of the elderly and infirm and how difficult 'life' is for them sometimes. Grocery stores especially can be hard, so I too make it a point to help anyone who has difficulty reaching an item, unloading their cart, etc. I'm tall, so I'm used to helping out there.

There is an older lady at church, actually not much older than me, but she opened up to me recently about a health scare she had the last year. She lost about 60 pounds and really looks great. She's a widow and also lost her son a little over a year ago. About 2 weeks before Thanksgiving I asked her if she had plans for Thanksgiving dinner (she did), but she hugged me and thanked me for asking about her. I was going to ask her to join us if she didn't. It's the little things.

Do you find that you're more sensitive to certain things ... things that perhaps you might have once even laughed at? For instance, the infamous "I've fallen and I can't get up!" commercial. Seems like that one was the butt of a number of jokes back when it first aired. Well, it's still airing - but I guess my entire perception has changed, and I no longer find misfortunes that befall the elderly something to snicker at. Not only as I watch my loved ones age and become increasingly fragile, but starting to realize my own limitations. It makes a person think differently.

I also think it's a wonderful thing to recognize others. I've made it a point in the past to commend people in certain jobs that might otherwise be taken for granted (such as the housekeeping staff where I work), by emailing their supervisors and telling them what a delight it is to work with so-and-so, including specific examples of how they've excelled at what they do. I need to do this more often. It's amazing what a difference it seems to make ... it's like the sun just shines a little brighter on everyone. Thanks for that reminder, cattyles.

Oh yes, cattyles, I meant to say thank you for saying that about recognizing others. Nurses, especially are dear to my heart since my DD and both DILs are nurses. And Ida, I too like to thank our housekeeping staff at work for the exceptional job they do. The company that employs them hire the mildly handicapped but all are pleasant, hard-working, friendly, and do a wonderful job keeping this big building clean. Most of the time we leave treats for them in the break room and have invited them in to our pot-luck meals or taken them a plate for lunch. Some of us have slipped them gift cards at Christmas.

I'm in admin now but my heart will always belong to nursing! And I know that not everyone has always had the best hospital experience. That why it's important to me to notice when good, old-fashioned healing hands nursing is being practiced. But I also do this with all departments.

I am a believer in volunteering as much as possible! Lots of way to do this. Senior centers, community centers, nursing homes dog/cat rescue? Helping pay for groceries for the person in front of me that was short. I always bought smaller gifts to put in collections for less fortunate but some years I did it differently. Everything I bought for my family members I bought a second one for the collections.

A few years ago my husband and I were traveling on Christmas morning and stopped at a Waffle House for breakfast. The waitress was so kind and we struck up a conversation. She was a single mother and her children were at home waiting for her to finish her shift so they could share Christmas together. We left a 100 dollar bill on the table as her tip. We stayed outside and watched through the window as she found the tip. Her delight was the best Christmas gift we ever received. I highly recommend trying it!

About five years ago I was struggling to get my way too big home ready to put on the market. I was struggling emotionally and physically. I had called "two guys with a truck" to haul lots of stuff from my garage and as I was pointing out to them which items to take I felt my voice catch and had to take a deep breath. One of the young men came forward and said I think you need a hug and proceeded to hug me. He said a few encouraging words and then went back to work. I'll never forget his kindness.

satine - Your story reminds me that we just recently moved my 87 year old mom who has Alzheimers out of her apartment. Her furniture was first of all going into storage for a month while waiting for her room at a Memory care facility (she lived with me for the month) and then moved again into her new room. The young men who moved her out of her apartment and then into her new place were amazing with her. They were probably in their late 20's and they treated her and her furniture with kid gloves. They never got impatient as she forgot what was going where, or if she forgot her words. I was so thankful for their kindness. (They were well tipped)

"...commend people in certain jobs that might otherwise be taken for granted "

Yes to this! I always make a point of telling servers they did a great job and I love the expression this brings to their faces. We also try to always remember to leave a tip for hotel housekeepers.

Satine, I had something similar happen, too. My dad lives in a little guest house in my back yard. Right after he moved in, his heater broke. When the repairmen went back there to fix it, dad acted horribly. He's been acting horribly since he moved back there and I'm used to it now but I wasn't then. I was tired and overwhelmed and embarrassed.

The young guy was so sweet and apologetic. You know how sometimes if someone is nice it pushes you over the edge? Before I knew it, I was crying. He handed me a perfectly clean (folded and ironed) bandana from his back pocket and said "ma'am, I hope you don't mind if I say a prayer for you and your father". And then he said a simple prayer that I still remember, five years later.

You truly never know how much you can help a stranger and restore them enough to keep on going.

I work very close to the social security office in my town-- and lately I've encountered a number of older people who are confused about where to go. Last Wed I found a man who had just been going up and down in the parking garage elevator, not sure where to get off. I told him to come with me-- and I took him in the right building and to the right floor. It took much longer to walk the couple of blocks but he was sooo relieved.. and it made my day great too. We had a lovely conversation and it was a great change of pace from my normal rush.

Today I had a similar experience. I've decided to just make the time to help any lost folks get to where they need to go. It makes for a better start to the day than rushing along with my eyes down on the sidewalk.

A few weeks ago I was doing some pre-holiday shopping at a clothing store. Customers waiting in line had their cell phones out with an online coupon pulled up. The man behind me was elderly and apparently not in "the know" about this coupon. I leaned over and asked if he had a phone, I could help him find a coupon for his purchases. He was so grateful when I pulled up that 20% off.

As these stories illustrate, it takes so little effort to do something kind for someone.

What a nice group of people we have in this virtual community!

Cattyles, I was seeking news about the recount in Wisconsin and found this article in their local paper. I thought of you, and what a meaningful tribute this organization provides to families of nurses (and the nurses themselves).

Wisconsin Nurses Honor Guard

Now I'm singing The Bee Gee's "It's Only Words" to myself after reading this topic. Amazing how only words or a hug makes all the difference in the world to someone.

Can we make this apply to to the internet???

Could we purposefully re read our posts(everywhere) to try to come across as being as nice as possible, instead of mean spirited, materialistic and one sided?

Another way to really help someone whose done good work is to let their manager/supervisor know. It costs nothing to send an email, write a note or say a word to their manager. A lot of stores also have on-line sites or surveys where you can provide positive feedback...just note the name of the person who helped you.

Annie, a while back I had a flat tire and had to get a new one. I discovered a few days later that the guys at the shop had packed the spare tire and jack away in their places in the trunk. I thought I would have to do that myself! I was at the same shop yesterday for an oil change and I told the man checking me in how much I appreciated them doing that for me. I could tell he was very pleased and surprised that I thanked them!

Donna

And then I read about this today. There ARE good people among us.

What a precious story, Outside! Thanks for sharing that ... gave me happy chills.

What a nice thread--several posts have made me teary-eyed. At this point in my life I usually have time to hold a door, help unload someone's grocery cart, or do a favor for a neighbor (and I seem to get those back many times over).

I was raised being friendly and helpful to people, and paying it forward is an example I've tried to set for my children--one of my proudest moments was when a friend told me she had observed my teenage son let an elderly woman go ahead of him in the grocery line, and helped unload her groceries to the conveyor. He is still helping people, as a paramedic and firefighter.

Sueb20, no, not just old ladies can get away with giving much needed hugs. I had nearly the same scenario as oakly. A very nice looking, young EMT fella walked up to me and asked if I was ok and was there anything he could do to help and then proceeded to give me a hug :)

Not too long ago, at WM, I was checking out with a full basket. A young man got in line behind me. He only had one item. I moved over and told him he was more than welcomed to go before me. He wouldn't hear of it. I insisted. So did he. A few minutes went by and I finally said, "look, I won't be able to sleep tonight if you don't go first so...". He didn't want me to lose any sleep on his account :) I love giving people compliments. I know how I feel when I get them and enjoy knowing I've made others feel the same. You never know, your compliment may be just the thing they needed to hear to turn their otherwise bad day into a good one.

1, 5, 6, and 7 ALWAYS

oh badgergirl I am so sorry. My younger son is 27 and skis double blacks at Whistler, which he will be doing this weekend. You lived my biggest fear. I will be thinking of your son. I'm so glad that the kindness of your 'angel' helped.

If I get really good customer service, I make a point to go to the manager right away and tell them that the employee was wonderful. Not only does it make the employee happy, it makes the manager happy that they're being called up front for GOOD news for a change.

I also try to always be nice to cashiers-even if they're crabby. I give them a smile and say thank you. If they seem to be having a bad day I try to joke with them or tell them I really appreciate that they're helping me, it must be tough to deal with people all day long. That usually elicits a smile and I hope it brightened their day.

I also buy $5 Starbucks gift cards this time of the year and hand them out to crossing guards. Those poor folks are always standing out there on the street corners in all kinds of weather making sure the pedestrians are safe (not just kids, adults too!).

Years ago I was flying home from a business trip. I was tired and frustrated about work, and really just wanted to read and be quiet. But the young woman sitting next to me was really talky, and kept starting up conversations. Finally I stopped being crabby, put away my book, and we chatted for the whole flight.

After we landed, she said, "I want to thank you for talking to me. I'm horribly afraid of flying, and this is the first flight I've ever accomplished without throwing up."

It was a good lesson to me about how something we think is small can be huge for someone else. I was so grateful she was honest with me, I've never forgotten it!

Oh badgergal, I'm so very sorry.

Badgergal, I know you don't mention your son often, & this story about your angel really touches my heart. Thank you for sharing it, and again so sorry for the loss of your son.

Blfenton, cattyles, and outside playing, thank you for your condolences. I have written a few times about my son when responding to other people's posts. I actually hesitated for a few days about mentioning him once again but ultimately, I felt I just had to, so that I could let others know about my experience with that stranger who didn't hesitate for a moment to reach out to someone in need. She definitely was our angel. I hope someday that I will have the opportunity to help someone as much as she helped us. And maybe by telling about my experience, readers on this forum may realize that they too could be "an angel" for someone sometime.

I am so very sorry for the loss of your son, Badgergal. Thank you for your post about your angel. It brought tears to my eyes.

I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your son Badgergirl. I cannot imagine the depth of your grief but I truly do believe there are angels among us.

So sorry also badger gal to hear about the loss of your son, don't be afraid of mentioning him, it is never too much. thanks for sharing.

Badgergal, I too am so sorry for the loss of your son and ask that you please keep talking about him. He's a part of you and always will be.

Texanjana, Caroline, mitchdesj and IdaClaire, thank you for your kind words. Loss of any family member is very difficult but loss of a child is a whole other level of difficult. I know there are others on this forum who have also lost a child and know exactly what I mean.

Those of you who have reached out to me through your responses are very much like that stranger in the hospital. You are giving a gift of support and love that means so much. Thank you all again.