I found this definition... it's a little "horoscopy" for me, but it seems to fall in line with Lynn's post: A classic, enduring design, transitional style is a union of traditional and contemporary furniture, finishes, materials and fabrics. To call to mind a fresh, tranquil mood, the transitional palette relies on a lack of color. A simple approach is taken with carefully chosen accessories. The look balances both masculine and feminine qualities for a comfortably contemporary design. A transitional look to your home generates an easy, welcoming atmosphere and mixes it with the sense of the traditional that shows off your good taste. Elegant and relaxed, trendy and tasteful, transitional style blends the best of traditional and contemporary looks. Transitional furniture is about bringing together comfort and minimalism with the attractive styling of traditional furniture. The lines are simpler than those found in more traditional styles, but are not as simple as contemporary. There are two sub-styles: * Casual. This style has elements of classic style, yet is cozy without being overly hip. * Eclectic. The general look of an eclectically styled room is integrated by prudent use of color and finish, shape and texture. Transitional family room furnishings combine both contemporary and traditional furniture styles. It effortlessly adjusts and combines with an assortment of styles, joining clean lines with fancy curves, and natural wood finishes with smooth, brushed metals. Fabric choices range from geometric and graphic patterns to classic textured solids. To get the look of transitional décor mix and match a variety of contemporary and traditional pieces. "Transitional" is also used to describe blended interior architecture, for floor plans that bring together formal spaces and fine points of traditional architecture with open, multitasking ones. An additional burst of color here, an unexpectedly detailed bit of decoration there  transitional is a style that can communicate accents of the eclectic and the unanticipated. You are on the avant-garde of design if you take pleasure in the transitional style. People who enjoy this style are taken with smooth and contemporary furniture and a minimum of accessories. They would select a lamp, a picture or a vase only if it makes a statement, and they have good judgment when it comes to line, scale, and drama. Do you prefer plain, clean lines and geometric shapes? Are you inclined toward light woods, like natural maple when selecting furniture? When you add ornaments to a room, would you most likely pick new accessories that are positioned sparingly and carefully all through the room? If you answered, "yes" to these questions, then transitional style is for you. Here is a link that might be useful: quote source

you want to write a book? and you want our help? with what? if you are going to write about your own life, you better be famous because nobody would want to read it otherwise. If it is a fictional story based on your experiences then I don't know how we can help with fiction? if you wnat to write a self-help book on a topic of marriage, you better be a psycholigist, psychiatrist, marriage counselor with expereince etc otherwise your book will not hold any value. saying that... you have rights to write whatever you want, plenty of people write stuff and publish wiht their own money but it never gets sold. I knew someone who wrote poetry and kept publishing books paying out of his pocket, nobody ever bought any. he gave them away for free. it was bad, very bad, terribly bad. I felt embrassed for him. His every poem was either about his cat or him wanting to commit suicide (because 15 years ago this woman left him) and now all he has is his cat. and it was a poem after poem and at least 3 books full of that. Poor guy. I don't know why remembered him...But I guess he had rights to write all that. i am an artist, sometimes I sell sometimes i can't, sometimes I get my art into major competetions and sometimes don't get into any. some pople like my art some don't. If i need help i ask in art forums, go to my fellow artists or read art books. I don't tell anonymous people on the internet that i want paint somehting but want people to tell me difference between oil and acrylic. I don't think we can help you. maybe taking writer's workshop could help better than asking us here.

I guess the difference for me is that I don't think of being somebody's peer or equal as being disrespectful... Probably a lot of that comes from my mom who didn't have any problem with that. She's one of those moms who some people may have a problem with because she's a real *friend* to me (and I her) and a lot of people disagree with that style of parenting. But the upshot is we have no problems with one another, love each other very dearly, and would each do whatever we could for each other. If that's problematic in some people's eyes, that's their right to view it that way, but she and I have no issues. Definitely when I was living under her roof before I went off to college, I followed her rules and understood she was in charge. And she is still in charge about several things, namely when I ever have to ask her for anything I understand that because I am asking something of her, it's her prerogative to grant or deny my requests. When I visit her house I try to do things and put things, etc. how and where she wants them... I wouldn't tell her what to do or anything like that, but I do feel free to express my opinion about certain things and even lecture her on occasion (to quit smoking) or give her advice on things (i.e. diet and exercise) which I happen to know more about than she does. And vice versa, because there are many things she knows more about than I do, and she also has plenty of opinions about my life. That's fine, because we both know it comes out of caring and we both know we are free as independent adults to take or leave each other's opinions/advice. But I guess the understanding between my mom and I is that now I am an adult in my own right, and we both embrace the positive sides of that which means we can have conversations more or less as "equals" or "peers" about adult issues. There is no need to revert to any statement of a hierarchy because neither one of us is disrespecting each other. That's because we naturally have mutual respect for each other. I respect who she is a s a person and as a mom and think she did a good job raising me; and she respects the woman I've become. I can see, though, where if either of us was disrespecting each other it may be instinctual to seek to clarify who is "on top" of a hierarchy. And in some cases I'm sure that one party or the other has to be reminded of where they stand, so to speak. A mom telling her grown son that he better remember to respect his mother when he rudely calls her a "b!tch", or a grown son telling his mother that her meddling in his marriage is disrespectful to he and his new wife. So I can see where there would be some occasions where people need to be reminded of certain boundaries that they shouldn't cross, due to the limits of their authority. But I guess in my thinking that comes more from when one party seeks to be MORE significant or dominant over a given situation than another, not when they view themselves as an equal adult. And primarily where one or both parties has not REALLY learned what respect actually means. In general I don't see too many problems erupt when people see themselves as equals, it's when one or more see themselves as *superior* that a problem starts. To me and my way of thinking "equal" is like "similar", which is akin to "like-minded", "friendly", "having things in common to connect over", and "in harmony". I can't think of anyone in my life whom I'd be offended by them viewing themselves as a peer to me. I don't find that inherently disrespectful... and I guess that's because my mom doesn't. If she did, I guess we'd have a problem, but instead we have a wonderful relationship. Another plus side to being "peers" with my mom is that I happen to find her one of the most fun and delightful people simply to spend time with. How many moms can brag that their kid actually finds them cool and loves spending time with them... not just for a hot meal but for wonderful conversation and most importantly some great laughs?

I also agree that, especially between adults, nobody HAS to get anyone else a gift and that in some situations this is actually a more harmonious state of affairs. I could see where if the would-be recipient suddenly stopped receiving any gifts without it having been established previously that gift-giving was going to stop, they might wonder. Ideally there should be some sort of natural cut-off point, i.e. it's common enough that some relatives will give X-mas gifts to kids til they turn 18, etc. Or when there is some justifiable occasion or circumstance where it's fairly obvious that gift-giving is 'above and beyond' or simply too much to deal with. For example, especially once my Dad got diagnosed with cancer, I certainly didn't expect him to bother himself with going through a bunch of trouble to shop for, select and wrap presents for me. And I didn't expect it of SM, either. My Dad sent me a generous gift of money last Christmas, which I very much appreciated, and a nice card, and SM didn't send me anything. I wasn't mad that she didn't send me anything, especially given the cancer circumstances, I was only upset that I was dis-invited from spending the TIME up there. If she never gave me another Christmas present, I truly and honestly wouldn't hold that --in itself-- against her. Gifts, again especially between adults, are just that: GIFTS, extras. The whole point of a gift should be to show your genuine care and goodwill toward that individual. Or at the very least to show a certain neutral obedience to standards of etiquette and/or maturity. No one should be giving a gift if they either expect anything in return or if the gift causes more trouble or upset (for either the giver or the recipient) than it causes good feelings. If there is any 'golden rule' of gift-giving it should be that one. As well as, of course, the CLASSIC 'Golden Rule' of not giving a gift to someone else that, if the circumstances were reversed, you would not enjoy receiving yourself. But there is a difference, I feel, between deciding not to give gifts at all because you PRESUME a negative response from the giver vs. deciding not to give gifts at all because you sincerely don't want the gifting process to cause undue or unnecessary pressure, for yourself or the recipient. One is a decision made out of spite (or even fear of future spite) and is immature and the other decision is based on mutual respect, maturity and a desire to preserve peace. Gifts should be a way of preserving peace and good feelings and shouldn't be 'about' anything else, no matter tempted we probably ALL have been (I know I have been very tempted and I won't deny it!!!) to make it 'about' something else.