Michael Buble's 3-yr old son has cancer
Jasdip
7 years ago
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amicus
7 years ago
stacey_mb
7 years agoRelated Discussions
Need you help on how to care for ailing 82 yr old who does want t
Comments (7)It's been a couple of weeks since your posting, so I hope you've been able to follow-up on some of the good advice you've already received from this list. I will add to the other comments that your SIL should ask about a speech pathologist. I think Medicare/Medicaid should provide this. They can help with his eating/chewing difficulties. Also, there are medications (Megace, Peri-actin --not sure about the spelling of those) that act as appetite stimulants. Loss of appetite is something that often happens to the elderly. Probably the other issues -- cancer, radiation, loss of dentures are complicating the situation. He might be depressed too, which causes a loss of appetite, or it could be the dementia. In any event, if they can give him some medication to stimulate the appetite, and have him work with a speech pathologist to assist with chewing difficulties, likely he will feel better. All of the symptoms you listed CAN stem from vascular dementia. The body is a finely tuned machine, and when you have a "break down" in one area (such as the inability to chew or eat), it can often act like a domino effect in leading to other problems. My experience in taking care of my 84-year old father has taught me not to wait for the doctors or caregivers to make suggestions for my father. Instead, if I see a problem, I research it and bring it to the doctor's attention REPEATEDLY until he/she addresses it. My father had SEVERE anemia and the doctors were really dragging their feet. Finally one day my Dad said to me "I don't think they realize how bad I feel." I called the doctor and they finally took my Dad seriously and admitted him to the hospital, and he needed a transfusion of FOUR units of blood. Then, he wasn't eating (likely a result of the anemia), and the doctors were fully aware he wasn't eating, but they didn't seem to offer any advice. Then I learned about appetite stimulants and asked the doctor about it and they said "okay" let's try that. Now he is eating very well and he is feeling much better. So, tell your SIL to ASK, REQUEST, BEG, do whatever to get your BIL comfortable and healthy. Mary...See MoreGuidance for a 21 yr old son
Comments (43)I have a very similar problem -- my son lives at home, sleeps much of the day away, and does very little to help around the home. Although, he is a sophomore in college and so far has maintained good grades despite what I think is excessive use of weed and not sure what other kinds of partying. He has minimal interest in me, his other family, or doing much except his studying and going out with friends. He is moody and very difficult to talk with about most anything. I am a single mom and I am supporting him through college except that he gets tuition paid because of his good grades so far. He did not live at home his freshman year, now he is home and I am saving money by not having to pay room and board. Yet, I see him in so much of what you all are saying. He contends that he cannot work part time because of his school load, but has made no effort to see if there is any work on campus or anyplace he could work. In the summer he found a short term job, yet put no effort into finding work after that. Many of the suggestions here are so helpful. I need to make it uncomfortable for him to live here unless he contributes. He seems to have minimal desire to change or make anything of his life. Getting through school seems to be his validation for doing little else. I do not like having to deal with the anger, name calling, put downs against me when I ask him to do chores and contribute to the home. It's difficult. Both my own guilt and he can be surly and very mean. Looking for more ideas and suggestions. My first attempt will be to require chores for spending money. It will likely not go well. There will be a barrage of insults hurled at me. Yet, I need to make a stand for us both. I have a brother who is still living off of our parents at 50 years old. I do not want this to happen. I want him to make something of his life. ellabright...See MoreHeartbreak over my son's illness and behavior
Comments (5)Thank you both so much for your kind words and advise. Mental illness is so incredibly hard for a parent to bear. Since my son was 14 years old, he has struggled with dishonesty and was caught stealing several hundred dollars from my ex-brother-in-law. Then, during a period of time, he was faking "grand mal seizures" in front of me. Since he was previously diagnosed with epilepsy when he was 9 years old, there was no reason for me to doubt that these seizures were not real. I was constantly calling "911" until I finally brought him to UCLA to be put on telemetry (they hook him up to something that, not only can sense his brain waves, but it records the seizures). At one point, the neurologist realized that the seizures were not real. So, he did a "test" on my son to make sure. To my absolute devastation, he was faking the seizures and that's when my true struggles began. The doctor felt that - due to my son's medical issues, as well as being raise without a father, etc. - that it might be helpful for him to be admitted into the psychiatric ward at the hospital. He ended up spending close to 3 months in the hospital during which time - they weaned him off of his epilepsy medication (thinking that he really wasn't epileptic). Even when Michael said that he was having seizures, he was no longer believed by the doctors. Once he was discharged (and continuing to have seizures, this time losing bladder control during them), I had to take him to another hospital for testing (UCLA no longer wanted to be involved with the testing). This time, it was confirmed that he not only had epilepsy, but it was a form of epilepsy that he would never outgrow. Since this time, he just continued to spiral downhill and out of control. And, sadly, I spiraled along with him. Being my only child and, being that I raised him solely by myself, I had no idea what was wrong with him. For so many years, I felt that it was "only" because of me and the way that I raised him. I was overprotective, never wanted him to "fall". I never understood "why" he lied, only that he lied about everything in his life. There seemed to be nothing that he didn't lie about. It wasn't until the last 2 years (and all the "911" phone calls from me to the police, and all the trips to the hospital), that things finally started to make sense to me. But, even though I now know that he has a mental illness, it didn't stop the heartache that I feel in my life. It's almost like I am watching him die (always wondering when he may "actually" kill himself) on on a daily basis. But, there is never any closure. I feel that - in order for ME to LIVE and experience happiness again - that HE first has to be healthy. But, then I have to realize that this day may never come for him. After so many years of me being a devoted mom to Michael, I finally met a wonderful man in my life; however, the last 2 years have been so emotionally stressful and draining on both of us. We are in constant anxiety. I spend so much of my time being so worried about my son that I forget to remember all the people that are in my life who WANT me to be part of THEIR lives again. For so long, I feel only like I am a shell of a person. I have finally (last week after, yet one more episode from my son threatening suicide, then showing me the respect that I deserve) - decided that I need to back away. I finally said (in a text message that we were having) - that I would no longer allow him treating me like yesterday's trash. No matter how much I tried to be on his side giving him support, he treated me like I meant nothing. Deep inside, I know that he loves me. When he seems "more normal", he can be kind and caring, but these days are few and far between lately. But, I still need to focus on the reality of things. I cannot communicate with him if it means that "I" am the one that will suffer. And, as "I" suffer, my boyfriend (as well as the people who care most about me) suffers, as well. I just need to keep this feeling of "strength" up. I need to live MY life, even though my son seems to not want to live "his". If for no-one else, I need to live it for my absolutely wonderful grandsons. They are the light of my life. They give me purpose in my life and make me "want" to smile. I will not allow them to see the sadness that I feel inside. They are a huge reason for me living. And, yes, I "need" to learn how to put myself first. I just need to tell my "heart and mind" this..... Thank you again....See More18 yr old drinking
Comments (18)Oh yuck!... I think you're very wise to be so concerned and I'll keep my fingers crossed for a mild ride... In my book, social drinking with friends at parties at age 18 is within the "normal" range of teenage activities, but having empty bottles rolling around inside drawers and rum-filled soda cans is "problem" behavior. Not to mention the knife! Drinking alone in her room and having empty bottles hidden are both signs of a possibly serious problem. I imagine you're aware that a vulnerability to substance addiction is an inherited trait? And that with alcoholism on both sides of her biological family tree, your SD is very vulnerable to alcoholism? Is this a point that was brought home to her in the strongest possible terms? Seems every 18 year old knows that they personally are invincible -- but the stats show otherwise... Al-Anon is a great place to get more information. I can't imagine a better group of people to help you and your DH sort out just how big of a problem this is likely to be at this stage -- Is it something you will be likely able to handle on your own with guidance and discipline? Or is rehab called for? (I can't see rehab actually working until your SD believes she has a problem that is beyond her own ability to control.) And what type of interventions and control strategies to they advocate? It's good your DH took the car plates away, but at some point, she'll probably get to drive again. When I was a teenager, my parents had a policy that turned out to be very effective at helping me learn to set my own limits. I had a curfew, and the house rule was that when I came in, I had to wake up Mom and spend a few minutes talking with her about where I had gone and what I had done (though they always knew where I was going in advance also.) That simple late-night conversation was enough to assure my mom that when I came in, it would be on time, and that I wouldn't be so drunk that I couldn't pass the 'coherent conversation' test. That didn't stop me entirely from underage drinking, but it did prevent me from underage OVER-drinking. It might be something to consider if you conclude your SD's drinking may be controllable....See MoreUser
7 years agopkramer60
7 years ago
clearwaters
7 years agorhizo_1 (North AL) zone 7
7 years agoarcy_gw
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7 years ago
Yayagal
7 years agoclearwaters
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7 years agoblfenton
7 years agoamicus
7 years agoJasdip
7 years agolast modified: 7 years ago
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