Guidance for a 21 yr old son
texasone
12 years ago
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asolo
12 years agolast modified: 9 years agotracystoke
12 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
Parenting advise needed: 14 yr. old and missing assignments
Comments (14)OMG, I have so been there. The child who carries around completed assignments, not turning them in, until they are lost. He'd lose his own head if it weren't attached, I tell ya... And he's only in 6th grade. I'm fearful of high school. First, I told him that he had two choices - I can go to school with him and make SURE he turns things in, or we could figure out a system that would work for him. Of course he chose the second option, lol. He's required to have one big binder for all of his classes and as a result, the thing is like the black hole. Things go in and go into the abyss. I assume he looks for things in class but just gets frustrated and decides he doesn't have it. So, we went and got a sturdy thin folder with pockets on the inside. This is the HOMEWORK FOLDER. The left side is labeled for assignments TO DO. The right side is assignments TO TURN IN. This is kept totally separate from the black hole. Nothing else is allowed in that folder but assignments that are done at home. We've had a bit of an issue with him putting things into the homework folder while he's at school (they sometimes get shoved into the binder), but at least at home I can make sure that all of the assignments he did that evening get put into the homework folder TO TURN IN pocket. And there they are supposed to stay until they are turned in. That way when he's in class he doesn't have to fish through the black hole, just pull out that folder and there it is. It's not foolproof, but it's definitely helped....See MoreNeed advice re: 16 yr old son
Comments (24)Everything that everyone has said has gone through my mind when thinking about this issue. I had a similiar situation when I was 14 I had an 18 year old boyfriend. My parents had a fit! Of course I understand now as an adult but then I unleashed holy terror on them. I snuck out at night, skipped school, anything I could to see him. I got pregnant when I was 15 years old...resulting in the son that I am now seeking advice on. Lifes sweet revenge I suppose...LOL. I was with that boyfriend until I was 21 years old. It was a terrible relationship and unfortunately took me until that age to realize it. I really think I spent so many years so focused on making the relationship work to prove a point to my parents. I also wondered if it was handled different and they discussed birth control with me if things would have been different. I would have hickies on my neck but never once was birth control mentioned. I know, I know....I deserve everything I get. ;-) Anyway....at this point this is how I have chosen to handle this and will need to take this day by day. She lives in the same town as his dad lives in so it becomes more of an issue when he is at his house. The other night she came over to their house and they watched a movie together...in a public room. I told him that I would like to meet her as I am apprehensive about them spending time together unsupervised. He told her and she said she understands and she would want the same thing if she was a parent. We were watching sports yesterday and I asked if she likes sports, etc? Figured I'd ease him into openly talking about her w/ me without fear that I am going to go psycho. LOL. I don't want him with a 20 yr old. I also don't want him with some crazy 16 year old girl that smokes marijuana. I also don't want him with a 17 year old girl that has more piercings on her face than an entire rock band. Or an 18 yr old that gets drunk and sleeps with everyone. I pray daily that I am doing the right thing as a parent. Obviously some of you agree with me and some don't. I don't even agree with myself 1/2 of the day. Thanks for listening....See More50 20 yr olds for New Years. Food ideas?
Comments (36)For our big halloween party we usually have 50 to 80 people. I usually make a crockpot of meatballs (amongst other things), but make a Swedish meatball type sauce for it. Just yesterday a friend contacted me for the recipe for the sauce for a party he's having this evening. Bob's "Swedish" Meatball sauce Ingredients: 1 stick of butter 4 medium onions chopped fine with food processor 1/2 cup flour 1/2 cup medium dry madiera 3 cups strong beef stock 2 cups half-and-half 1 Tbsp Worchestershire sauce Melt butter in large pan over medium low heat, add onions and cook and stir for 15-20 minutes until onoins are nearly caramelized. Add flour and stir until the flour is absorbed into the butter, and cook for another minute or two. Next stir in the Madiera, then the beef stock, and heat to a simmer for a few minutes to thicken the sauce. Next use a stick blender to puree the sauce smooth, and add the half-and-half and Worchestershire sauce. Pour over heated meatballs in crockpot on low....See MoreMy 9yr old SD has hr long crying fits for her pregnant bio-mom
Comments (12)Custody and access are two seperate things. BD has always had joint custody. It's called joint conservators. He has not always had access. He had supervised access. Joint conservatorship basically means we both have exclusive rights and duties to the child. I have two exclusive rights he does not have. The right to designate residence and the right to make educational decisions. We both have the right to seek medical treatment, provide shelter, food and clothing; the right to inform the other conservator of any info concerning health, welfare and education. We both have the right to religious guidance. He has a duty I do not have and that is to provide child support payments in X amount per month. As far as access it's about 60/40 now. It's called expanded standard possession. He has set weekends and days of the week, we split spring break, christmas and thanksgiving. He has superior rights to designate his access during the summer. My access is all other times not outlined as his possession time. Sole custody is extremely hard to get. Even with all of the mess we have been through, bd has always been a joint conservator he just had limited Access for a while. If I had sole custody I would not have to tell him anything about health, school etc. He would not be able to confer with the school. Even with limited access he still had a right to speak to teachers or to get medical records. With expanded standard possession during the school year, on a month with 30 days, Bd has 12 days, I have 18 days. During the summer he averages about 40 total days and I average about 46 give or take a few during a summer break of about 88 days. That almost 50:50 during the summer. Does that make sense?...See Moredreamgarden
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