There are a lot of companies that hire felons. Mine is not one of them, though. Sorry she's having to reap what she sowed. Too bad those who use drugs can't see far enough into the future to see what they're doing to themselves, both physically and economically.

Oh, Satine, I'm so sorry that though your daughter is doing all the right things, she cannot get this job. Is there a list she or you could find of jobs that are possible for her to get? How long does the expunging process take? Could she live with you while she waits for that to happen, and perhaps find a lower-paying job? You've been through the mill with her and I know how tremendously proud of her you (and we!) are, for all her excruciatingly hard work. I wonder if you can find a pro Bono legal person to advise her? Don't give up hope!

Oh, I wish you hadn't typed that third sentence, Chloecat, as it's most unfair. Satine's daughter went through a horrific experience concerning the death of her father which led to her difficulties.

I can't imagine the hurt you are feeling as you watch your daughter struggle! I'm sorry you have to go through this! I am praying that things will turn around soon.

It is a sad situation. Maybe, with time, things will happen that will bring a smile to you and to her.

My brother had a difficult time keeping a job as an adult. He let his religious views interfere with his workplace habits. He was dismissed from so many jobs because of that. He never did change his ways, and he died feeling that he was doing the right thing all the time.

Satine - I'm so sorry you're going through this with your child. It is so difficult to see them struggle and even when they do all the right things, struggles still ensue.

For those of us who don't struggle with addictions it's impossible to understand the whys and wherefores of it and for those of us who live with people who struggle with them it's a tough road to help. My dad was an alcoholic and my son was on his way to following that family legacy (which it has become) if my DH and I hadn't stepped in when we first saw the signs.

My heart hurts for you but don't let your daughter give up. She's already fought the toughest battle.

I'm so sorry, she has worked so hard on herself. I hope she is able to get her record expunged soon and can find the perfect job for herself.

Satine, when I saw the title of your post I feared your daughter was back on heroin. But she's not. And that alone should be able to keep your heart together. As you go through the job hunt with her, I hope you will hold on to this very big blessing.

Satine. Don't feed the guilt. You did what you needed to do and you saved your daughter's life. Maybe your daughter needs to do a little research and find some companies who will hire ex-felons. Maybe she can contact her old parole officer or some of the people who helped her through the process to see if they have any leads.

sjerin, my daughter is working and is actually working two jobs. She is self supporting and has been for the past 5 years. She has held several jobs during that time (mostly waitress) and has been with the company she is with now for 3.5 years. She wants to have a career not just a job and wants to have benefits etc. She has some college and is quite intelligent. She has started the expungment process which takes 3 months but the only thing that does is to allow you to legally answer no if asked if you have a conviction. If someone searches the court records the conviction will still show. I think the only way to avoid that is to have a record sealed which they only do for minors.

I know I did the right thing back then but I can't help but feel crummy about it. Thank you all for listening. Im really beside myself and can't stop crying.

adellabella, my daughter never served any time and was never on probation. The ruling "probation before conviction" just means that if you follow the judges order (rehab) and stay out of trouble you will be allowed to have your record expunged.

I have tears, too because I remember so well the pain you went through all those many years ago. I agree with alisande, when I first looked at the header of the post, I feared your daughter had fallen back into drugs. Thank the good Lord that is not the case. This is just a slight setback. She's on the right path and just has to keep trying. Hopefully this will just make her more determined and stronger. I understand that companies have to have rules but they should be guidelines. When you see someone has pulled themselves out of the abyss, it would be a great philanthropic thing to give them a chance. I know it's a risk on their part but it could make such a difference in another human beings life and she could be a great asset to their company. I will pray for her to maintain her strength and positive outlook. And you, Satine, must not admonish yourself. You did what you had to do for her safety at the time. Bless you both.

Oh satine, I'm sorry you feel so crummy about it. I'm a parent that can totally relate. My oldest son has a felony from years ago, and although he has a decent paying job, it doesn't have benefits. We live in a rural area where there isn't much opportunity. If he stays here, he may never have a "good" job but he will make the most of it, as your daughter will, I'm sure. Maybe after her record is expunged, that will be the ticket to better employment.

Here in my state, it's so easy to pull up court records. It's what many employers use. If you've been on probation or in jail, that information is only a couple of clicks away for anyone to view.

Do not feel guilty for doing what you did. She is clean and sober. You did that. She is alive. You did that. She's held jobs for five years. You did that. You may have had her arrested but that is the shovel that dug her out of the hole she was digging. I'm a firm believer in when one door closers another better door opens. Keep positive thoughts in your head. Something bigger and better is coming her way.

Lukki’s post reminded me of a couple things. I read an interview with Maya Angelou. She said no matter what happens, always say
thank you. Just say Thank You. Something better is ahead. I can’t find that particular interview where
she told a story about how she had been fired and responded to life by saying thank you and looking forward to what was next but this
one is similar:

http://www.essence.com/2012/05/04/oprah-shares-a-lesson-dr-maya-angelou-taught-her

Another of her lessons, Don't beat yourself up for things you have done in the past. When you know better, you do better:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fx447ShQLeE

Satine, could the rehab facility help in her job search? Maybe a talk with one of the counselors to help guide her?

Hang in there, both of you. She is drug free and working on bettering her life. Something will come through for her.

I am so sorry that she (and you) are going through these hardships related to her felony.

There is another way to look at it: but for the car incident which ultimately opened the path to treatment, she may have died, and I am glad she has had the courage and stamina to conquer her drug use.

I hope she is proceeding with the expungement.

Might she appeal to the court where she was sentenced? She's done everything asked of her. Maybe there is a program to help her -- and other people who have turned their lives around.

Why would anyone try to turn things around if they will never be given an opportunity to earn respect -- and a decent living?

First of all Satine, you did what you had to do to help your daughter!

I to am so happy that this post shared good news. Your daughter is drug free for 5 years. Congratulations!

What type of work is she applying for? I am wondering how in depth most companies go?

Loving thoughts for you and your daughter!

I am so happy to hear that your DD is still clean! She has done everything she needed to do for herself. I can't add anything more that hasn't been said above, so I will just add that you are both in my prayers. God has not closed a door, that he hasn't opened a better one afterwards. She will succeed.

So sorry that you are going through this heartache with your daughter. It's hopeful that she's done so many positive things for herself and in that way, is headed in the right direction. A good work record, as she is establishing, will go a long way toward future success for her.

Satine, you are not alone.

No Satine, you are not alone. I know that she is disappointed but just as others have said, better things are coming for her. Forgive yourself, you saved her life.

Hugs to you. I hope things work out for her and for you. Stay strong.

I also was scared to read this post, remembering that awful part of both of your lives. So she is still sober and still working. Your daughter is a fighter, and she will get through this!

Saltine, hang in there. I know you love your daughter dearly and want nothing but the best for her. It is a wonderful thing that she has been doing so well for 5 years. That is a huge accomplishment. It is hard to see them taking so many steps forward and get pushed back a step or two along the way. Never stop telling her how much you love her and how proud you are of her.. You are a wonderful mom and in the years ahead she will always remember you being there for her. A moms love and support are always never ending!! Hugs to you and your daughter, Saltine!!

Illinois has the John Howard Association. One of its projects is assisting prisoners who are re-entering society. There may be something similar available to your DD.

Satine, I feel your hurt. I remember you going through all that stuff with your daughter.....I've had you in my mind and in my heart ever since. I've gone through some "stuff" with my son as well. It sucks when you want more for your kid than they seem to want for themselves. But it REALLY sucks when they are trying their hardest and having doors slammed in their faces. Snookums was right....something better is on it's way. When it gets here (and it will!), you can rejoice!!! :)

Satine, you said: "She has started the expungment process which takes 3 months but the only thing that does is to allow you to legally answer no if asked if you have a conviction. If someone searches the court records the conviction will still show. I think the only way to avoid that is to have a record sealed which they only do for minors."

Perhaps you should look more closely into how expungement works in your state. I know the laws vary. In my state, expungement means that the criminal record is destroyed by court order and will no longer show up in court records or in a background search. It doesn't help a person a lot to say that their record is expunged if this still shows on a background check. Hopefully this is the same in your state.

I hope she can soon find something better; she's worked hard.

I have no advice, but you did what you had to do...she is alive...be thankful for that...sending you many hugs!

It hurts no matter the reason when our kids face challenges and obstacles. Your daughter has had more than her share. She has overcome so much already and she will continue to strive. The right opportunity will come her way.

Finally some positive news! My daughter called the court where she had been charged to ask some questions regarding the expungment. She was told that she does not have a felony on her record because her case was "nolle prosequis" which means that the prosecutor was unwilling to prosecute. This means she was charged and the record is there but she was not found guilty. Her record can be expunged and according to the person she spoke with her record will no longer be public. She also talked to a lawyer who is a regular customer where she works and he confirmed this. Of course, she had volunteered to the people who were interviewing her that she had a felony so they would not go forward with the hiring process. She is going to wait until she has all the final paperwork from the court and then try job hunting again. I have learned one thing from this--never go to court without a lawyer!

That is certainly good news! So true about havinglegal representation.

I'm so glad to read this!! So good for your daughter that she pursued this and it has paid off. A high five to her!

Oh some good news! How great for your daughter. You must be thrilled. BIG hugs to your daughter.

Oh that is so wonderful to hear!!!

Good for your daughter to take the initiative to call the court and get information first hand. This information will give her confidence as she continues her job search.

I am so sorry Sandee, I'll keep you and your DD in prayers

I am so glad your DD called the courts and asked questions. She has come so far. And, yes, never go to court without representation.

sustine, I hope you are feeling optimistic by the time you read this. I deal with addiction issues with my youngest son and I understand your heartbreak. There are places that will hire felons. Your daughter must go through the normal application process. If she is called for an interview she should expect the person to ask about her offense. Have her practice a response she is comfortable with such as I've worked hard to overcome a heroin addiction and make right all the wrongs that I committed. (Details are for nosey people, professionals will want assurance that she's over the hump and not liable to retreat to that behavior). Of course she should add that she would be very grateful for a chance to prove herself. I think there are employers out there who would be willing to give her a chance. Good luck.

She may not be out of the woods yet. You need to hire an attorney to get the arrest records expunged or sealed. Many employers now just hire out their records search to an agency who will run the arrest record and conviction record. Since your daughter was arrested for a felony it will still be a matter of public record and searchable. Getting the charges dismissed means that she wasn't convicted but unfortunately, innocent until proven guilty doesn't mean anything to an employer. They get to set the rules they care about, and if they care about charges (which they probably will) then you still can't get the job.

Before anyone goes crazy on companies, this is a problem with a litigious society. Employers could be on the hook for their employees' actions if those actions were foreseeable (such as public record for arrests).

Greetings Satine,

I worried when I saw the heading that our daughter may have died ... or suffered the semi-death called addiction.

I'm pleased that the news was not of that kind ... but rather sad that you feel so rotten about your having done what was required. As a number have said ... to not have done so could very well have led to more disastrous results.

How proud you must be of her for having made such a successful recovery. And thankful, from the heart, as one contemplates what the results could well have been had she not become so wise, strong and persistent.

I send my good thoughts and hopes to both of you, and offer some prayer on your behalf.

(((((Satine ... and daughter)))))

ole joyful