"I bought her a baby bunny to try to help,and she says it's just not the same.She loves the new bunny,but says that the other pet was her "best friend" . I'am trying so much to distract her from her feelings!" I think that may be your key, right there. I've lost pets before and even though I was a lot older and more experienced with life than your daughter at the time, I knew I couldn't handle trying to make a new bond with a different pet so soon. She is right. It ISN'T the same. She knew and loved that particular pet. (And, really, that's a very healthy indication that she is capable of forming seriously meaningful relationships.) When you say that you are trying so hard to distract her from her feelings I get nervous. Wouldn't it be kinder to be the person she can safely share her feelings with? She IS sad. It would be unsettling if she were not! I realize how hard it is to stand by and know that your child is in pain. Heaven knows I have been there and didn't like it a bit. It is so very tempting to do anything and everything just to make it go away and fix it so the child smiles and plays again. Unfortunately, for the child the subtitle on that is that there is something wrong with her grief and that she should stop that as soon as possible. Those are the times that do "hurt us more than it hurts them" but I think it is very important not to force them to repress their normal feelings of sadness or unhappiness just so we don't have to empathize their pain. What a resource you can be for her if you can allow her to feel what she feels. Understand that it is going to take some time to get better (you might let her know that because she may be worried that this sadness is permanent). And of course you will want to watch out for signs that her grief is expanding or becoming chronic. Sometimes a child needs the help of a good counselor to get through the really hard times. But it may just be a little too soon for cheering up. I think it would mean a lot more for her if you let her know that the sorrow she is feeling is understandable, justified, and normal. She may need to cry. She may need to talk about her pet. Through all that you can be accepting and validating while you let her know that it will get better and that it won't always be so painful.

Edmonton city inspectors are policemen that act like inspectors that break the law as I have experienced. They broke into my home and caused lots of damage like slamming door knots into the walls and smashing a big dent in my furnace. When I asked for a report when they were inspecting my homes furnace two days earlier I was told to call the police for a copy. They denied my request very rudely. I have not been the same since this happened and think that city inspectors that came to my place unannounced should be questioned of their actions with me and their visit to my home. Please help me, I'm falling apart since it happened. Thank you. Barry Pidsadowskl Barrysspace22@gmail.com 780

The above advice is all good. Your daughter is at an age where, if there is a perceptual or educational problem, she's got time to learn to deal with it before she gets to jr or sr. high when her workload will be much greater. Tally Sue is absolutely right in suggesting that telling her 'not' to be embarrassed is probably going to have the opposite effect. I personally would be forthright and honest and say that we're trying to find a way to make learning and studying as easy as possible for her. Now, may I address your comments about your school systems. If you feel your schools aren't providing good quality education, start making noise--let your governor, legislature, county freeholders, local officials and school board know they're falling down on the job. Get other parents and the newspapers involved in your fight. Every child should have access to a high quality, FREE education, in my opinion. Children who have (or may have) learning problems should have adequate free testing available and the public school system should be providing the appropriate help for them. High expectations, yes, but not impossible. In my state, most public school systems are academically way ahead of the private ones. The public schools all have child study teams who are qualified to identify and treat problems. If a school system doesn't have the right class for a child who needs extra help, it's their responsibility to send that child to a school that does--and the public school pays the tuition and provides transportation. If your state is doing less, you have a right to demand they improve what's offered. If our children aren't properly educated, where will we be as a country? Sorry about that--I'll step down off my soap box now.

Whatever you do... DO NOT do what my SD's mom did: She meets a guy, they hit it off... she runs home and tells her girls about Mr. Wonderful. SD would come tell us mommy is getting married and she's gonna be flower girl and a month later, things cooled/fizzled and SD would tell us that "that guy was just using mommy" and onto the next guy. She is currently living with a BF she moved 3 hours away to be with after knowing him 2 weeks. She left both her girls behind and they think she's going to marry him... soon. Problem is, she's already married to the father of her older daughter (divorce filed 12 years ago but never finalized) and the kids don't know it. But, even if she were divorced, telling kids too soon is SO damaging. They may get excited, have all kind of feelings one way or the other and then when things don't work out as expected, it's hard on them. SD was talking to her sister about a boy she (her sister) had a crush on, but the boy liked another girl. Grandma told her that's another example of how all men are jerks. (well, she didn't say jerks.. she said a** holes) But, that's a whole other issue. It's just not a good idea to get the kids involved until you KNOW it's going somewhere... because even then, sometimes things don't work out and kids are learning by our example... and they will learn all about relationships by watching what we do!