First for those who have offered their suggestions input and advice and taking time to post on this thread and help me, thank you. I very much appreciate it and you have my gratitude. People have told me numerous things regarding what does transplant well. However I do have some questions still because I'm a little unclear on some stuff that has been said regarding transplanting. According to what some have said most of the time anything that is leafy and green (any kind of lettuce, spinach, and collards) is normally direct sown. However are the reasons that these crops are normally direct sown is because they don't make good candidates for seedling transplantation, or are they able to be started from seed ahead of time indoors and will they transplant well? Is it recommended that they're direct sown (as with root veggies) because they just don't transplant well or can you do either or with leafy green stuff (start them as seedling transplants indoors and then transplant them outdoors or is it recommended you direct sow them where they're to grow). Another question I have is that people have strongly recommended that I plant scallions, onions, and chives indoors then transplant them outdoors. However I thought as a rule-of-thumb that root veggies are to be direct sown because they don't transplant well. Are members of the onion family (chives, onion, and scallions) considered root vegetables? Another thing I have a question about is people who have responded to this thread said they normally direct sow peas. Is this because peas don't transplant well or does it make any difference whether or not they're direct sown or can they be started in peat pots indoors and the seedling transplants transplanted at outdoors at a later date? Also what is a root ball? I know that the root systems of seedlings that are started indoors have to be well developed before they're transplanted or when you go to transplant your seedling transplants they will just die. Justaguy2 something I don't understand is that you told me the secret to successful transplantation is starting seedlings quickly and having them transplanted 2-3 weeks after germination. What I don't understand is wouldn't that be transplanting the seedlings too soon? I don't really know anything about seedling transplanting but what I do know is that if the root systems of the plants you're transplanting aren't sufficiently developed when you go to transplant you're seedling transplants they will not transplant well at all. The other questions I have that people failed to answer that I asked are these: *I'd like to use the method of emulating a breeze for the seedlings via using a fan. When should I introduce this to the seedlings (how old should they be)? How many times a day should I use the fan to emulate a breeze for the seedlings and what is the length of time I should keep the fan on when I do this for the seedlings? The reason I'd like to do this is because it will overall make the seedlings stronger. I know that with seedlings when you transplant seedling transplants you are supposed to follow certain guidelines with temperature, time of day, and weather conditions. What are as a rule of thumb, these guidelines? When during the day should you transplant them? Morning? Afternoon? Evening? What should the weather be like? Also this is going to seem like a very dumb question but how do you carefully transplant seedlings well? I've never done seedling transplants so I don't know how to carefully transplant a seedling. I could use advice with this.

It wasn't all that complicated Carla, so I'll list it here -- and I'm only suggesting it for someone married to a narcissist. 1. A narcissist will need to feel like he's won, so my best advice is don't even waste your time trying to "take him to the cleaners" or "make him pay," because to "win" in the traditional monetary sense, you would have to spend more time, money and emotional energy on lawyers than you could imagine. And since most narcissists are so good with their 'public faces,' you are unlikely to be able to convince the judge that they're awful unless you have aLOT of hard evidence. The differance between a "fair" and "you-win" settlement is not likely to be big enough money to change your life. So go for FAIR - not more. Go for half of the marital assets, your state's "standard" support arrangements, and a pleasant, quick, settlement. He will *need* to be able to walk away feeling like he's won. Remember that for you, walking away IS winning. 2. Since he will need to feel like he's won, find out what it is that will let him feel this way. Realize that it *might not* be anything you would even want. It'll probably be something visible - might be money, the house, the 'good' car, artwork, furnishings, even certain child custody provisions that preserve the appearance of him being a good dad. You'll need to know what he wants, and if it's something that's not particularly important to you, don't tip off your hand that you don't care about it. Again, it's not so much that he needs to win -- it's that he needs to be able to *feel* like he won. Let him "win" something visible, and make a loud and visible show of him winning-you losing. (You know how much he likes that.) 3. Deep down, most narcissists feel really lousy about themselves. At some level, they feel they are worthless frauds, and this is why they work so hard to buff up their public images. In my opinion, their greatest fear at this point in time is that you will somehow reveal to the world what a fake they really are. So don't do it! This will be very difficult because you will probably have years of pent-up anger at your abuser, and venting that anger is cathartic. But make a list, build a file, gather your evidence and ammunition -- anything that would embarass him to the world and invalidate the picture he tries to paint. (sexual performance issues are biggies, social embarassments, career slights) Then sit on it. Tell him that all you want is a FAIR settlement with no mudslinging public trial that allows you both to walk away with your DIGNITY, SELF-RESPECT and PRIVACY intact. Let him act like it's you who would be embarassed if all your secrets came tumbling out, because that's important to him. But realize that if you expose him to the world as a fraud (like the world cares!), you've blown your best weapon. That's my two cents --

You could also maybe give your friends a break. I had a close friend who was very self involved. I told her three times what I wanted her to do (come see my very big project). She had time. She was in the area. She made really lame excuses why she didn't. Then she moved away with no notice and instead of calling me where she knew I'd be, she left a message on my answering machine saying the only time I could see them before they left was at a party they were having during my work hours. I didn't know how to respond and the advice I got was "who says you have to?" Then she wrote some letters without one word inquiring or commenting about me. Not the 2nd grade "How are you?" that we're taught to open with. We've been in touch a few times since, but I basically dropped her. I regret it. I know I needed to do it rather than be hurt by her, and I have better friends, but I do miss her and I wish I could have just let it slide and accepted that that's the way she was. Another friend stopped talking to me because I didn't understand what she needed from me after a death in her family. I didn't know why until at least a decade later, when she got back in touch, briefly (I'm guessing a therapist told her to mend fences). When she told me, she mentioned that she'd done what she needed for herself for me when my uncle had died. I didn't know that she was doing it so couldn't pattern it. It wasn't articulated that that's what one does (in her lights) when someone loses a family member. I would have tried. I miss her too. I have closer and better friends, but I wish she could have explained or accepted, and given me a break.

Re: layout of kitchen, I like this plan without seating (since you don't want seating): Vs: this plan For or a couple reasons: 1) fridge is closer to living and dining room preventing traffic into the kitchen and easier to fetch things when eating and 2) a nice wall hood with beautiful backsplash is always a nice focal point from the living room vs a fridge and 3) cooktop is more protected and not in an aisle Mama Goose already addressed the concern I had re: bathroom visibility by moving the opening. Hope this helps