That defensive attitude is what too many people take in place of an apology. I would try to find someone word-of-mouth or on yelp.

I agree with sjerin. Keep trying. I absolutely would not have time to argue with a beautician; I'd be out the door. Do remember if it's slightly dark, in one shampoo or two it will lighten a bit. But do use shampoo for colored hair. I found my beautician through yelp reviews, and she's excellent!

I don't understand why you say you won't pay CVS prices. They would be cheaper than having it done in a beauty shop. Personally, I would save a lot by doing it myself, but I know it would look awful, so I have it done.

PS No chlorine in your water? Are you sure? How is it treated to be safe then?

PSS bossy, once you find someone you like, consider highlights.

We have a well, I live outside city limits. I don't do it myself b/c I am so unbelievably clumsy, I'd have not hair due to my lack of skills in that dept. That is why I expect so much when I pay $$$

This same lady did some highlights on me and it was a beeeeeautiful job. Problem is, I looked so washed out, it wasn't as flattering as I thought I'd be. But I do think an overall, no highlights, med or even light brown would work. Just can't get it. I guess with my complexion, the highlights look too much like gray hair, or at least they look that way to me.

trillions of people get their hair colored, DIY or with professional, it shouldn't be such a nightmare, in my non-colorist opinion.

Socks, it wasn't slightly dark. I've washed 6 times already and it is just beginning to look brown vs. black. I see $ washing down the shower drain, ha

I decided not to colour my hair any more. I coloured it blonde six months ago so the grey in the new growth would blend in better. I just do not like colouring my hair and I won't pay someone to do something I can do myself. Your colourist doesn't sound like someone I would see twice.

If you have that much grey in your hair, I would go for a lighter brown rather than medium because the roots won't show up so much as it grows out. A friend has almost all white hair, as do I. She tries to use the color she was as a young woman, very dark brown. It looks awful as the white roots show up. That is why I think a lot of women go blond to cover the white--the roots blend in with the blond quite well. I used to frost my hair to cover the white, but now I don't color it at all and it is all white.

I have the same problem as you have. My mother taught me- and this was confirmed by hairdresser- that as you age you should lighten your hair a bit. It's not only your hair that loses pigment as you age :-( going darker is definitely a no-no IMO. You may want to look into vegetable dyes- thay are called semi or demi permanent hair color as well. The process of using those kinds of dyes is mechanical, not chemical- you add color to the hair shaft. I have darker brown hair than you have- just a shade off of black- when my hair gets the dye it looks totally balck for a few days and then the color literally washes down the drain- and the color of the brown hair is a good brown for me and the white hairs- skunk line- is a lighter shade of brown. The dye washes out of your hair in 4 to 6 weeks- no outgrowth lines. American hairdressers are not into vegetable dyes (mine is English at a Vidal Sassoon.) You can buy these dyes online and then take a box to an inexpensive hairdresser and have him/her apply it for you. Event at Vidal Sassoon using veg dye is an inexpensive option. If that option does not suit you- then I would consult with a person who only colors hair. At Vidal Sassoon becoming a colorist takes one year longer than becoming a stylist. The colorists there only color. Find someone with that level of training. I suspect you will have to add highlights to achieve the right shade of brown. I never knew how much I liked my boring brown hair until I had to start fiddling with the color! Good luck!! (PS when I looked up those kinds of hair dyes on Amazon they say something about white hairs not accepting the dye very well- not true in my experience- mind you I don't buy this myself- my hairdresser gets something from the UK- but I wanted to point out my experience is not the same as the warning.)

I have the same skunk stripe!!!! I would be totally, absolutely SNOW WHITE if I didn't dye my hair. I was 26 when I started getting white hair. I have never had my hair colored at a salon. I used to buy the $2.99 stuff at Walmart. Until I noticed my hair had a green cast to it. A hairdresser who was cutting my hair at the time (and that was rare also, I usually cut my own hair, lol) said go down the street to Sally Beauty. They will help you. I've been using their hair color ever since. I buy a big bottle of developer and two shades of brown. One is just a tad too light, the other too dark.

It's mixed 50/50 developer and color. I only do my roots. So I usually mix 3 T. of developer with 2 T of light brown and 1 T med brown.

Developer I use:

http://www.sallybeauty.com/20-sensitive-developer/ION101,default,pd.html#prefn1=brand&prefv1=ION&start=6

The light and medium colors I use:

http://www.sallybeauty.com/liquid-hair-color/SBS-305715,default,pd.html

http://www.sallybeauty.com/liquid-hair-color/SBS-305715,default,pd.html

I bought the bottle of developer at least 2 years ago. I can get at least 3 colorings from a bottle of light and a bottle of medium mixed.

I also agree with Abby and seilajoyce, the older you get you need to go lighter on the hair color. I dyed my hair dark brown, which is what color it was when I was young, and it looked horrible. Way too dark looking, very harsh.

Good luck finding something you like!

Socks, I don't mean to be speaking for bossy, but the way I interpreted her message was that she was just assuring us that she is paying a lot of money for this, end not CVS box color prices. Bossy, you may correct me if I am wrong.

I do use CVS purchased box color. Loreal, in fact. I like the way it makes my hair feel and I really noticed no difference in the lasting qualities of it versus salon applied color.

Bossy, I would not put up with attitude . I would find somebody else who could do you want and what you are paying for. Good luck!

I meant to add a photo of me taken on the weekend. I have about 3 - 3 1/2 inches of new hair growth. I last coloured my hair blonde (my real hair colour is/was dark brown like my eyebrows), but the grey is really coming in. My bangs are almost completely grey but I like how it's almost blonde like the hair colour I last used. It's why I don't want to colour my hair again. I figure, if I decide it's too much grey, I can always colour it again.

Debby I like your hair! Bossy I would be livid, not only at the black hair but at the excuses from the colorist. If she has a boss, I'd say something, and I agree with the others find someone who is going to give you what you want and do it well. There is SO much competition in the beauty field, find someone you really like.

debby_ab, I'd look old enough to be my grannys mom, if I went natural Just not flattering at all on vain me.

Oh boy do I feel your pain Bossy, I really do. My natural color is light to medium brown and my younger sister who is a stylist and very talented when it comes to color, did my hair for many years...until we moved out of state. I didn't know how spoiled I was until after we moved. When I'd tell her what I was wanting, she'd show me a sample of what she had in mind but she never ever expected me or any client to pick the specific tone because that's an important part of being a colorist. She should be able to look at your hair type, it's tones as well as the tones of your skin and match it with the best suited "mix" to get what you're asking for. So if you said you wanted medium brown but pointed to a dark she should have known that and steered you into a better direction.

My sister would pull out the little samples and say this is what I think would work and why and if possible, she'd show a picture of something similar from a magazine (before pinterest lol) so there were no surprises. Now, that said, she's told me flat out brown (especially brown on brown) can be a bit of a challenge because it can very easily look dull, brassy, too red, too dark or just plain blah. My natural brown color is dull and blah in tone. While complaining about my current person, she recently she told me her secret was to mix a lavender something to a brown with some long number, I couldn't even tell you, but I loved it and it was perfect every time. I was so surprised that lavender was in it! Then to hide the gray and brighten it up, she'd mix in some highlights which also gave it some pop especially around my face. I also have a gray stripe, its on the left of my bang. The pic below is not my hair but very close to what the color and high lights looked like when she was done. AND this is the pic I plan on taking with me next time I go for color because the girl never seems to "get" it either. Though she's not defensive or rude, I still feel like I'm beating a dead horse not to mention wasting ALOT of money. It's been almost a year and if it isn't right this next time, I'm moving on.

Because of my sister, I tend to be fairly patient with stylists, but that woman's response to you was so unprofessional it'd be a deal breaker for me and I'd find someone else. When I was getting discouraged and couldn't find anyone decent even for a cut, my sister told me to look around when I'm out and about. When I finally see something I like ie a cut, style or color to just ask for the name of who the person goes to cause women are always happy to refer. Once you find someone, go packed with pictures that show exactly what you want. I have a pinterest board dedicated to hair cuts and color. The minute I sit down, I have my phone in hand and pinterest on the screen. If the new person pulls out the board for you to pick, tell her you want a medium brown and you're armed with pictures but she's the colorist and it's her job to figure it out from there. You want to see what she suggests. If you can't visualize it ask her if she can show you a picture of someone with that color.

I would kill for that ^ hair!

Like many here, I have been fighting grey since my twenties. Great colorists will have a following. When you notice an attractive coloring, tell the person their looks great. I always say thanks, I have a super hair dresser. Name available if interested.

The thing most people do not realize is, you cannot expect a new person that has never handled your hair to get it perfect the first time. Once they know what you like and how your hair responds, you should be happy. Have a couple of friends that go to one place for color and another for cuts and style.

The problem with doing your own color, it is very difficult to continue the coloring after the first time. Sectioning a thick head of hair to get just the roots is tough. And if you put the color all over your head the rest ends up over processed dull and dry. I have had my hair done weekly for 60 years. Takes time to find the right person. Have had to find new ones in that time, but worth it. Get compliments on my hair regularly.

Good luck, it will be worth it.

I don't have great hair like the picture but my hair color is similar. You don't get that from picking from a swatch. You have to trust your colorist. I just tell her whether I want richer (in the fall/winter) or sunnier (spring/summer) and let her work her magic. It takes lot of layering of color with low lights and high lights. I probably have around six different toners with my current color. We've made out mistakes and we laugh them off and she fixes them.

Debby_ab, I like your look, it is graceful, natural, fluid, easy. Mine look like somebody took a black magic marker and painted my hair, carefully, but with a fake vibe. It is getting better with more washing, not so "painted" but I thought I was supposed to get day from the get go! The CVS reference was as, susieque says, to emphasize I spend enough to get a practiced person to do better than I ever do by myself. The joke is on me for not being able to pay $5 and have the color of hair I want, brown, purple, or whatever. Hurray for those who go the CVS route, but it's not for me given my limitations.

This is really a simple matter, no like, no go. It was good to vent and I was hoping to hear whether many ladies here have such unexpected outcomes with their color. Given my limited knowledge on the subject, it didn't seem to be complicated. I also haven't been coloring for very long. thanks all.

I have been so tempted to stop people and ask about their hair and hair colorist, but believe it or not, bossyvossy is too shy to do that, ha.

Maybe Look through Yelp to see what's out there.

Ugh, I also have the skunk stripe/brunette hair. I've been dealing with grey, but now white, hair, since my 20's. (I'm now 50.) Probably am 90% white. I have my roots touched up in the salon every 4 weeks. About 10-14 days after that color, I have to touch up my roots myself, using Clairol Root Touch Up. Then I usually do it one more time before my next appointment. I have a very subtle stripe thing going on, because my touch up color isn't exactly the same as my professional color. (Did I already say "ugh?") I have tried all the temporary root touch up products out there, and while some of them work *okay*, they feel gross and leave brown gunk on my fingers and under my nails if I touch it.

I am at a point where I am ready to break up with my hair guy (been going to him for 7 years, recently moved and it's a half hour drive to my appointments, just need a change), but I'm tempted to follow katlan's recipe and do it myself from here on out!

Katlan, do you happen to have a photo of your hair? Even just the back would be fine!

One day, I shall likely give myself a buzz cut, go white, and be done with it. But not just yet.....

This is very frustrating. I have been going to my colorist for abut a year now. Sometimes we have to tweak things.

Here's the thing. Some people's hair just takes better to color. My sister's hair looks the same from the day she gets it colored to the next time it needs to be redone.

Mine is medium brown. Sometimes it does out darker. But, I know it will lighten. Sometimes it is more red than I would like. I have come to the realization that my hair will never be movie star hair.

I work hard at making my hair look nice. I use tons of products and they are expensive. But, by trial and error, I am finding things that work for me.

Summer is especially hard as I have dry, frizzy hair. But, I am experimenting with new products made for humid weather.

Bluebell, I use WOW for root touch up. It only lasts a day or so and washes out when you shampoo, but it really works.

I think your colorist is completely out of line and I would go somewhere else. My hairdresser and I just celebrated our 20th anniversary - I've followed her from salon to salon until she finally opened her own place. I started getting white hair in high school and I've been completely white for many years (think Barbara Bush, the elder white) . To avoid the skunk stripe I get my color every three weeks. I'm not interested in doing it myself so I just pay.

Over the years I've watched my hairdresser handle all kinds of customers and without fail - if the client is unhappy she'll offer to re-do the color.

There are times when I think the client is too demanding and insisting that the end result isn't what she asked her. Yet Donna has always tried to make the customer happy - sometimes she just adds a toner which subdues the color. Perhaps it isn't as dark as you thought - after all you didn't notice it until your DH mentioned it. In any case you shouldn't have to be lectured by the colorist.

As others mentioned if you do color your hair then you need to use a shampoo and conditioner that's made for color treated hair.

Marie_cate, good points made. It didn't seem so jet black to me as I left the shop, dark yes but the kind I could wash off. But DH doesn't comment about that kinda of stuff, so it had to be almost blue black for him to have said something. In thinking some more about this, it occurred to me that perhaps the lighting in her place is a factor. It is one of those places with several little salons. "Lecturing me" that's what it felt like. I spent last night collecting pictures on pinterest and am excited about the possibilities. I intend to try another person next time. So far was not dazzled by anybody in Yelp.

Yes, lighting is everything. I once went to a salon about a half hour away because it was used by a few co workers. My fault though in taking someone who was available and not waiting for an appointment with one of their stylists!

When I check myself in my car mirror, my hair seemed red! When I got home my DH immediately said that it not only was red, but colored unevenly! I had to immediately go back and have it redone. I never went back there.

A professional colorist should hear what you are saying, but then use her knowledge to come up with a plan.

Interestingly though, last visit at my salon, there was a woman who was ecstatic with her very dark hair. Just thrilled. Me personally? I thought it looked way too dark and was surprised that my stylist did this work. But she obviously nailed it for this customer.

I've been coloring my hair for decades now, also started getting gray hairs in my 20's. I use Nice N Easy... and it really is easy. I'm amazed that you can also get highlight effects from a single bottle of color.

I found a product a few years ago called Gray Away - it's a little spray bottle that I use to spray on my roots. It lasts till I wash my hair. Love the stuff! Definitely keeps me from having a skunk streak.

Here ya go bluebell66. I also got my sister doing her own, and my sister-in-law!

I do my own. L'oreal Excellence works for me, $8. One time I paid someone to put highlights in my hair, it looked like total crap and everybody kept asking me if I had done it myself. It also made me look a lot older. Now I just let the haircolor do all the work and as it starts to fade a bit, it adds natural highlights! LOL

Thanks, katlan!! I appreciate it!

On the other side of the coin - I am a senior senior and my hair just started to turn last year while most of it is still a reddish brown. I don't know your age, bossy, but wrinkles on my face and brown spots on my hands just do not jive with my dark hair color, so I'm glad it's turning. My mother had the white streak of which you speak, and it was quite striking. Is there some way your streak could be enhanced instead of hidden? It could be different enough to make you a real knockout.

Grey Away, reminds me of the stuff men use to hide the grey.

https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_sc_3_9/178-7974177-6074957?url=search-alias%3Dbeauty&field-keywords=gray+away&sprefix=grey+away%2Caps%2C163

my "beef" is the color selection in the temp area...used have a gentle darker blond called linen...sad to say no more...I like the temp as I felt it was less harsh and faded not looking like a skunk, lol...but now at 70 actually have a cut that highlights the grey (even the darker area on one side) and it's sure easy to care for...