Momento from a late friend... what to do with it?
10 years ago
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- 10 years ago
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A friend to all late blooming
Comments (8)It'll probably bloom later next year or the year after. From what I hear, some take a couple years to bloom at their appropriate time. This one is gorgeous and is on my wish list but way way too expensive for me at the moment. I hope to acquire it in the future though for sure....See MoreWhat to do about divisions from a friend?
Comments (5)nematodes do NOT show in my zone 5 for another month or so ... so your zone 4 .... would be later ... without a picture it hard to really say anything... i suggest you pot them up .. and then place the pot in a very prominent place.. and stroke your friend for here generosity ... one never knows if they will live through the winter though.. there are many mysteries as to what dies ... lol.. wink.. wink ... ken...See MoreGIft from friend- want to share with friend.
Comments (3)I agree with LindaC. As for lunch either go some place cheap or maybe have her over to your house for lunch if your budget won't allow going out. The idea of lunch with a friend is to get together and chat and spend time together. Whether that's in a restaurant or your house shouldn't matter. I have friends who are on tight budgets, and when they say no going out this month or something like that, we simply make alternate low-cost or no-cost plans. No shame in it, everyone has their own budget and (most)everyone has been on a tight budget so people understand. I have a group of friends who got into the gift-giving mode. Five of us - and we ended up being obligated to recognize each of our birthdays. Well, I didn't want to do it anymore, not so much for the cost (although that did come into play) but because I had to agonize over what to get them every year. So I recently brought it up, could we quit giving each other gifts? We already do a sort of greed game gift exchange in Dec so we decided to let that suffice. I think everyone was relieved. You know, some people just love to give gifts. It's not that I don't like giving so much, it's more that I agonize over what to give and probably don't get it right more often than not. By the same token, I end up with gifts from others which I really don't want or need -- it's not that I'm not grateful, but I can see them in that same situation, wondering what to get me, and ending up with something I'm not that wild about. For me, friendship is way more about spending time together, doing whatever, than it is about exchanging gifts....See Moreb/friend and son dont like each other, what to do?
Comments (5)thank you all for your comments. You are all right of course, I haven't helped my son at all by doing everything for him and not expecting anything from him and I so want to change all that. When my b/f was living here as a lodger I was so caught up in the conflict that I couldnt see which way to turn, my son wasnt going to college or working just lazing in bed all day and my b/f works nights so would get up midday and phone me at work and complain that son had his friends in so I would phone son and tell him no friends in the house whilst you're not working as all they do is watch TV, he would react with why is b/f telling on me, it just went round and round in circles with no end in sight. I tried to talk to my b/f and ask him to try a different tactic with my son such as 'shall we paint the hallway for your mum' so when she gets home from work she has something to be pleased about? Or one of them cooking the dinner would have been nice! But no just row after row. Some days I would get my son up in the morning and some days it was easier to leave him in bed he just got himself in a whole cycle of doing nothing which is so hard to break if you dont have anything to get up for. I couldnt work out how to help him. My b/f has now moved into his own place and things are better between my son and I because I am not so on edge and there is no conflict here. My son does seem happier when b/f isnt around and thats probably because my b/f was a lodger, there was never any discussion with my son as to whether he was happy to have him living here and he must have felt like his opinion didnt matter. I do feel like I have been a rubbish mother but then again even tho my son is going thro a lazy stage he still has lots of good qualities just a shame b/f never bothers to mention them. and I have allowed my guilt over his father dying to cloud my judgement. I know now that I need to toughen up, he is now collecting unemployment and has agreed to give me money from that towards housekeeping. He is looking for a job and hopefully he will soon realise he cant live on unemployment benefit and have nice things, that will give him the motivation to take any job as at the moment he seems a but choosy about what job he takes (not that there are lots on offer!). In some strange way I feel as though its my fault and as though I havent been in control of my life and I want to ake back that control. I almost feel like my b/f was justified in his critisism of my son why I dont know, maybe at the moment Im just feeling so down and low that I thought b/f was right, he kept telling me I wasnt doing the right thing, I was being too soft, letting my son get away with everything and that he was lazy etc etc. He kept telling my son he wasnt helping me and he should be doing this should be doing that. I just got fed up with hearing it all the time even tho I knew he was right, it was like he was living in my house just telling me what I was doing wrong with no suggestion of how to right it. I do need to do a lot of soul searching. I probably need to get rid of my b/f as its draining all my energy, he knows how much it would mean to me for him to get divorced but because his wife wont sign the papers he now has to wait a few more months, but actually he could do it now, only he wont because he doesnt have the money at the moment. So I cant be that important to him. I know Im looking for advice and even so far as Im looking for someone to tell me the right thing to do, but I know in my heart I have to make that decision and I have to look into the future and its not going to be much of a future if b/f and son cant get on, and Ive probably been swayed a lot by b/f telling me he loves me so much and sending me lovely text messages to that effect, but really actions speak louder than words....See More- 10 years ago
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