So sad this has happened. The Oakland Cemetery in Atlanta has worked hard to preserve many of it's older roses, many from the Victorian Era. I bought two cuttings from there that were original plants, Mutabilis and Cramoisi Superior. If you are ever in the Atlanta area, it's worth a visit. About Golden Showers, it's an extremely vigorous rose. I bought it as a body bag over 10 years ago. The trunk it about 3 inches in diameter and it grows up around my porch. I despaired of ever getting new canes from the base, since it's planted at the foot of the porch and is now in almost all shade. But this year, of all years, after that horrendous winter, GS first put out two new canes from the main trunk about 2 feet from the ground. If that wasn't amazing enough, I just noticed two more new canes from the very base, which is so old and woody, I didn't think that could ever happen. So there is always hope. Here is a link that might be useful: Oakland Cemetery

Now 77 years old and now diabetic 2 (but I can eat fruit and I do have a lot of fruit). Waiting 2 more weeks before I start indoor grow light seeds, winter sowing seeds, salad seeds in heated mini greenhouse. Replaced mini greenhouse by myself and covered edges with many rolls of UV film. Sprayed chairs and ornaments with UV spray. Sprayed rusting items like dog pen for blueberries and metal ornaments with WD40. Chairs must have 2-3 bricks on them to keep them from blowing down in the wind. Laid black plastic film to replace so called landscape fabric that loves weeds. Poly film and clover are great aides to prevent weeds. I have a giant leaf blower and shredder that is now hard to lift - so I got a light weight leaf blower and blew away most of the oak leaves and nuts near the back of the house and the wind moved more for me. In spring my ex son in law will trim the too tall again so-called dwarf apricot and plum trees for me with my new electric chain pole saw. The peaches, nectarines, and mini apples are short enough. I have watering lines for sprayers and emitters and use timers. I laid out a hose line with switches from the center sprinkler so I could hand water if needed (2 times so far after water lines drained for winter) and to spray the fruit trees - now both are super easy jobs. It now takes less than 5 minutes to spray the 14 fruit trees using a hand sprayer (wonderful invention) - hah!. I also have a mister in case I overheat in the summer. I will have to prune the brambles and remove dead food crops from tubs later - but that is easy with a hand pruner. I have large trash cans with drainage slits placed at every end of the back yard for yard and garden debris until they either compost or go into the trash. Planting food crops in tubs is so easy and so is picking them. Back yard getting really gorgeous all year long. Have colored chairs, colored tubs, colored and white solar lights (getting more this week), colored and green foliage (dwarf conifers, some evergreen sedums, strawberries/blueberries/brambles turning color - earlier EAC was vivid red). I have solar and non-solar ornaments with more coming this week. I even recently added fake flowers for some tubs - crazy but it looks good this winter. Front yard dwarf japanese maples and azaleas turning color. The 2 giant oaks dropped their nuts and leaves again but not as bad as in previous years. The city just added a sidewalk so that is less area to take care off. In spring I will have lots of bulbs and flowering bushes and trees. In summer I will have food crops and flowers. In fall I will have food crops, flowers, and fall foliage. In winter dwarf conifers, sedums, and food crops in the GH. Life is good and gardening is now super easy. I find it hard to believe what I used to do when i was in my 20s - like try to garden in clay in the country and carry water from a creek a long distance away.

oh, definitely--have the son put a freeze on his credit w/ the credit unions, in case dad tries to take out a loan or credit card. (is it possible that dad doesn't realize the son will not get his refund bcs of this? Maybe dad thought the only party affected would be the U.S. govt? And so dad didn't think he was actually stealing from his own kid?) And help your son figure out what he'd need to prove that he is not his dad's dependent: -rent receipts and utility bills from the entire year, to prove that he paid for his own roof -ATM-card records to show that he bought groceries often from a grocery store near his home, to prove that he paid for his own food -pay stubs, other work documentation to prove that he was occupied full-time and therefore not a student If he doesn't have any of these things, he can substitute letters (notarized!) from the appropriate people--landlord, boss, roommate. "Junior was a full-/part-time employee who worked X hours a week, from Start Date to December 31, 2006"--especially if he doesn't have pay stubs w/ hours worked, etc. Also to prove he wasn't a student. Have him put it in a folder, and label it, etc., and find a place to keep it so that he'll find it when he needs it. (I keep all receipts, etc., from every tax return in a folder w/ the return itself--just in case) Another thing perhaps, to help w/ the immediate crisis, is for someone who could be a go-between (paternal uncle? paternal grandma? you?) to call the dad and tell him he needs to give his son some money to make up for the fact that he has stolen his kid's tax refund. I know you're using the term "adult" lightly, and in this situation, you *should* use it lightly. Things like this are hard for kids to learn while they're still "kids" and being taught by their parents. This sort of grownup-finances stuff is why parents' work isn't done just because a kid turns 18. This could be a good lesson for him in how to prepare documentation for court, in how to keep records of finances, etc. (all the best lessons hurt, unfort.) I wonder if your son could take him to small-claims court for the amount of the refund? print out the reply from the IRS, ask his brother to testify to the conversation? The ideal would be if he could get his hands on his dad's tax return; I don't think you can subpoena documentation for small-claims court.

I'm so sorry. I know it must be so hard for you to have lost such a wonderful girl and it's even more hard for you to see your son in so much pain. No matter what the reason, it would hurt you to see him hurt. Both of you have lost future dreams and that hurts. It is very normal to feel the way you are feeling. When my daughter was killed, it took her boyfriend who was only 18 at the time, four years to date another girl seriously. He compared them all to Christin and they didn't measure up. He did meet someone that he fell in love with and married this summer. You son will do the same in time, and he will never forget this girl that he lost and you won't either. Keep her in your heart forever. It's all hard to understand and I'm so sorry for what you two are going through. Please continue to come here. ((((((((((((((((Mandi)))))))))))))))))))) Lu