So sad this has happened. The Oakland Cemetery in Atlanta has worked hard to preserve many of it's older roses, many from the Victorian Era. I bought two cuttings from there that were original plants, Mutabilis and Cramoisi Superior. If you are ever in the Atlanta area, it's worth a visit. About Golden Showers, it's an extremely vigorous rose. I bought it as a body bag over 10 years ago. The trunk it about 3 inches in diameter and it grows up around my porch. I despaired of ever getting new canes from the base, since it's planted at the foot of the porch and is now in almost all shade. But this year, of all years, after that horrendous winter, GS first put out two new canes from the main trunk about 2 feet from the ground. If that wasn't amazing enough, I just noticed two more new canes from the very base, which is so old and woody, I didn't think that could ever happen. So there is always hope. Here is a link that might be useful: Oakland Cemetery

I'm so sorry. I know it must be so hard for you to have lost such a wonderful girl and it's even more hard for you to see your son in so much pain. No matter what the reason, it would hurt you to see him hurt. Both of you have lost future dreams and that hurts. It is very normal to feel the way you are feeling. When my daughter was killed, it took her boyfriend who was only 18 at the time, four years to date another girl seriously. He compared them all to Christin and they didn't measure up. He did meet someone that he fell in love with and married this summer. You son will do the same in time, and he will never forget this girl that he lost and you won't either. Keep her in your heart forever. It's all hard to understand and I'm so sorry for what you two are going through. Please continue to come here. ((((((((((((((((Mandi)))))))))))))))))))) Lu

Been there done that. I had three babies in 3.5 years. I spent a lot a days sitting in a rocker recliner with two toddlers and a baby in my lap because everyone needed mommy. Each child had to have his/her turn at "This little Piggy". We even slept four in a bed at naptime because I would lay down with the kids and fall asleep too. I couldn't go to the bathroom by myself much less get anything accomplished. Hopefully, things will calm down a little bit as you start settling into a new routine and your ds gets used to having a sibling. Your ds just needs to know that he is still loved and hasn't been replaced. Try to include him in things with the baby as much as you can. If you're feeding the baby, he can be sitting right with you. If he's old enough to draw, have him draw pictures. Proudly hang them on the refrigerator. Remind him of how big he is and how he can do big boy things. Praise him whenever you can. Take lots of pictures. My advice would be to ignore the potty training right now. It's just going to be frustrating for both of you. Wait a few months and then try again. A lot of kids aren't potty trained before they are three. Little boys usually take longer than girls. It's not worth the extra stress or hassle when you have other major life changes like a new baby. Does your son have a movie or dvd that he likes to watch? Kids usually like to watch the same things over and over again. You don't want to depend on a movie as a continual babysitter, but it may help you to get a little rest and hopefully develop a better schedule. Pick a time that would be good for a nap. The two of you snuggle on the couch or in a bed or wherever and watch the movie together. Your ds may not get back to taking naps, but at least you'll get a little rest and he'll know he's still special to you. Good luck to you. It may exhausting and frustrating right now, but everything changes with time.

Thank you all! I hope to stay a 'silent partner' about this. *I* won't be asking questions of her teachers -- one reason I'm asking questions on the KT. She's my GRANDdaughter, not my daughter. I should gain perspective after her family is with us on Maui for a week over the holidays. (The TV is not a constant at Grandma and Grandpa's house.) She IS an extrovert -- good point -- and her brother (9.5) IS more introverted. He is shy about accepting awards in school. She would have to be ushered off stage as she launched into her acceptance *song*. She's not bratty, she's just "on" all the time. I am mainly concerned that she will be able to focus well enough to feel competent in school. Her father (our son) has ADD, but without the 'H' (hyperactive) component. Because he wasn't hyper (disruptive), his school didn't recognize what I saw as his difficulty in focusing, and his self esteem suffered. You don't 'outgrow' ADD, but an adult can accept it and work to maintain focus. (Snidely, I only wished he *would* take some meds!) I'm not alone in seeing the *possible* problem with DGD. Our DIL, a teacher, has mentioned a concern. One of her sisters is dyslexic, but has still managed to become a well-regarded psychiatrist. (You should see her amazing, multi-colored study sheets from med school!) This 'parenting' instinct never quits, does it? LOL