Thanks so much for the additional suggestions and comments. arkansas, I really like the set you posted but unfortunately it's no longer available. I think the problem with the one I'm showing is that to me it looked more grayish than greenish, which you can see if you compare the picture of it that I posted to the real item. That's one of the problems with on-line ordering, so difficult to know what the color will turn out to be.

It's probably true that a more formal look would be better with that headboard, but it's just not me. I ordered something last night on e-bay that will probably blow your socks off. I tried to reverse the order this morning but they had already shipped the item. How I hate such efficiency! Anyway, it's completely different from anything suggested and I can just imagine your comments. However, I must have thought it would work, but it was late and I wasn't quite myself after the rug mistake and now this mistake and had the attitude of "Get her done". Here is the result. It's a Laura Ashley creation.

Gray and gold are supposed to look good together (unless I'm wrong about that too), and if I can find some accent pillows in that color and drapes for the French door in gold do I have a even a minute chance of pulling this off? (At this point a slight bit of dishonesty would probably be welcome).

I love that one. (Ashley Bedford?). I would look for a throw or pillows in your gold tone for the headboard.

You may need to get some very large dark gray pillows for the back like in this set:set with large pillows

arkansas, do you feel the solid gray pillows would look better against the gold headboard?

Gray and gold are supposed to look good together (unless I'm wrong about that too), and if I can find some accent pillows in that color and drapes for the French door in gold do I have a even a minute chance of pulling this off? (At this point a slight bit of dishonesty would probably be welcome).

:) Hard to say until it's there..but yes, gold and gray usually look good..bigger, bolder pattern is reassuring too. Better balance, in terms of intensity..The white background supposedly will tie with white in your curtains.

I like Turquoise Rose's suggestion, because that's what I think too; but your new set has a potential to work.

As for the gray big pillow I agree with arkansas_girl..and I'd also pick a very soft one. Like a wool. To bring in more texture, and also nice next to shinier things like the headboard.

(well..and also these wool (not necessarily real wool) pillows they are very nice to touch))

I'm just thinking it would look nice with the set and also would cover a lot of the headboard so it's not as noticeable. You'll have to see how it looks once it's on and get some opinions of complimentary pillows. In my mind's eye though, I'm thinking some large pillows set up as in the link I posted, yes up against the headboard.

I think a solid white or any solid color quilt just draws attention to the headboard and makes it the focal point of the room.

This. As well as colors without the apricot. Notice how in the comforter TR posted the headboard blends instead of dominating. It's nice with the carpet too.

Have you considered anything like this? (Unfortunately, discontinued PB items. They are often still available on ebay. The first one with the gold is now in a queen duvet. Similar patterns always come along at PB).

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Pottery-Barn-New-CELESTE-DAMASK-DUVET-COVER-Full-Queen-GOLD-paisley-/272241441481?hash=item3f62dabac9:g:2N0AAOSwHJhXNROc

This is a different pattern, probably beige. This type of ensemble looks feminine enough to go with your headboard yet still comfortably casual.

I'll voice my final (I promise) opinion on the subject. I think it's a mistake to purchase a quilt that does not incorporate both the color of the headboard and grey. it basically is going to have the appearance of a grey quilt and a gold HB with nothing tying them together.

That's why I believe that large pillows will help make the headboard invisible. This time, post the picture of the new one when you get it and get everyone to help pull it together. I know that you want a quilt that's pretty to you so since you've already bought it, let's make it work! I think the first one would have worked with the right pillows to accessorize. Is it still in fashion to drape a throw over the headboard? Maybe that would help too?

throw draped over headboard

Since I like both the current purchase, love pillows and the headboard but am fairly cheap..... I would put the shams up against the headboard and use white bedding in front. I would grab a bunch of paint chip samples from home depot to find a good match to your headboard. There should be a range of hues on that paint chip to give you some ideas. I would take a sham and visit the IKEA and look at some matches in the store. If you want a layered look, you could do a gray euro sized pillow or a smaller gold toned pillow in front of your white sheets.

Here is a photo of the new set with the large gray pillows behind it. It's BEAUTIFUL!

another view of new coverlet

Edit to add: I just realized that the gray that it looks like in the photo is not gray but rather a black and white small check. I found the large "gray" pillows (shams) and did a zoom and you can see they aren't gray at all. Huuuummmm?

Arlene, at this point I agree with you completely. Without that it's not an ideal situation. If I had to do it over again I would have kept the original comforter set.

arkansas, I don't think they're doing the throw any more and I don't think my husband would like that look.

Kippy, I really enjoy your positive attitude. I'm already looking at gold pillows or pillow covers to put in front of the shams but don't want to buy anything until I get the bedding. To be honest, I'm still looking at alternatives.

snookums, unfortunately that quilt is only available in Double/Queen size so it's quite small. Duvet covers seem to be more plentiful but so far I'm not into duvets.

I was really trying to suggest colors and pattern with the headboard but thought you had a Queen. Did not realize no duvets.

You can still reorder the original after the other trials. Usually it's free shipping.

If you are still looking I wouldn't look at anything but quilts or spreads with both gray and gold both in the print (plus another color or 2, but definitely gray and gold). They look wonderful together, but they have to be incorporated together in one major print like the bedspread. Then you can use them separately in accessories like with the gold headboard and gray and/or gold solid pillows. Google gray and gold bedding; there are many out there.b

If you're going to do gray and gold, I think you need to make sure that your gold is more towards that apricot shade and not a soft, muted gold. These pillows (from Horchow) will give you an idea of what I'm talking about.

It's easy to raise a bed with bed risers/ lifters, I love the look of a higher bed.

It looks like a rich gold but I don't see any apricot in it.

Since you are 'sick and tired of the gold', I think I would try the paint, recover it or replace it before investing in bedding.

Dear group, this may just blow your minds. I've reordered the first set of bedding! We were sitting here, me still compulsively looking at more comforters and asking hubby whether he liked this on or that one. His answer was always the same: "That's a nice one". I finally pinned him down by asking him on a scale of 1-10 how much he liked that particular one and he said about a 7.5. I finally said "What's your idea of a 10"? and he said "The first one". You could have blown me over with a feather! He never said a word at the time, just allowed me to decide and quietly packed it up when I decided it wasn't the right one. Even now he kept asking if I was sure and I wasn't just doing it for him. I also found out the only other 10 he had was the hand tied Oriental red rug (the one that was large enough to please all of you) which I couldn't stand because of the wide beige border. Of course he never told me because I kept on yammering about the stupid border. Oh well, at least we're getting the bedding back. Laura Ashley has been dumped and is another package he gets to send back. It's time I got a life.....

HAHA! OK well, let's make that one work with the right accessories and some coordinating pillows etc! Without, it was just kind of ho hum. It needs something to pull it together. It definitely needs a different skirt, probably gray?

When I saw that the Laura Ashley set was not gray but rather it's black, it instantly thought "OH NO!"

Good choice! Next get some white shades for the bedside lamps, some white curtains and throw pillows and the room will look fresh and inviting,.

The white lampshades make sense, as does a different bed skirt, and gray is fine with me, unless someone else has different thoughts. I would have thought some accent pillows should be gold, to carry forward the gold color from the headboard. With white pillows won't that seem too white? I have to admit, I tend to favor colors over white. I'm assuming the pillows should be a solid color, no patterns. What size would you suggest? I'm a neophyte when it comes to choosing pillows for beds, except I know I don't want too many.

Ingrid, I didn't necessarily mean white pillows, just pillows. Lol. I wouldn't purchase any decorative pillows until you have everything else in place (lampshades and curtains) as the shams might be enough with sleeping pillows behind them,. Do you need a bedskirt? The photo looks like you wouldnt be able to see it anyway.

Boy, the lampshades are turning out to be rather expensive. This set comes with an aqua bed skirt, the same color as the other side of the comforter. The other question is about drapes. If I kept the one behind the bed the same color, then I would only need panels for the French doors (which are just past the painting on the left side of the picture). I think for now I'll just wait for the comfort to come in and return the Laura Ashley one which should arrive even sooner. I think my brain is slightly fried at this juncture.

Put the black and white one on and then compare with the first one since they will both be there, can't hurt right? I think the bold of the black and white will stand up to the headboard, but might be not the direction you wanted to head.

I found some good prices on lamp shades at Target and the local HD has some too big ones for what I am looking for on half price sale.

Have you thought about raising the bed a couple of inches? Not sure how that will work for the bedskirt, but might be something to look in to. I had trouble finding a plain white bedskirt I was willing to buy, I ended up with one I am not sure about but will be here next week.

Can you match the drapes behind the bed for the french doors?

Well, I, for one (and two counting your husband) think this is a great turn of events. I haven't commented on the choices since the first one, because I thought the first one was great. When people were criticizing it, I thought, "Really? What are they seeing that I am not?" It seems to go well with your headboard, the pattern looks fresh, I like the scale of the pattern with the size of your bed. The drapery behind the bed looks good with it, etc.

White lamp shades would work, but really the color of the ones you have is fine. It coordinates with the colors in the pattern and also your headboard. I'm afraid if you get too much white in there it really IS going to make the headboard the outlier again. Wait on the lampshades until you get the draperies figured out.

I think some of your dissatisfaction with many of your choices is that it is a CHANGE and you don't allow yourself time to get used to something different...different than what you had and maybe different than what you imagined. Just a thought I had while watching your journey.

Yay for the first comforter!

eta: I just looked back and see there were others who preferred the first one, too. My apologies for overlooking them!

Kippy, I doubt that I'll even unpack the black and white one since my husband doesn't like it nearly as well as the original one, and I'm not about to play games with him. He says xnay to the idea of raising the bed, and I'm with him on that one. I really prefer a lower bed, fashionable or not. I would not want the same drapes on the French doors since the ones in front of the window are semisheer, and I would not feel comfortable with that after dark on the French doors, although we're far away from and above the road.

Olychick, every word you wrote resonated deeply with me. Not only do you know what looks right, but you're a very wise lady, and you understand me better than I've understood myself. Thank you for that insight; it's something I really needed to hear, and your gentle tone allowed me to understand and accept. Needless to say, I would also be much happier not having to buy new shades for the lamps. When all is said and done, we don't spend much time in the bedroom other than to sleep, and the few other people who will see it do not subscribe to Architectural Digest or Interiors.

I think one thing that took away from the first one were those pillows sitting on the bed clash with it and were distracting in the photos. I think, had it had some coordinating pillows then it would have looked better. One good thing is that the first one fits the bed as far as the size of it, the second one didn't fit the size. The first one also does contain the gold color of the headboard which help it not be the white elephant of the room. I don't see the lamp shades as being an issue although you could buy two and return them if they don't work.

You're right about the pillows, arkansas, but I hadn't even noticed them.

I hope you can balance the brightness of the white and will be interested to see how it works out. It could be that the photography exaggerates that color too.

TR, i love those Horchow pillows!!! I am noting them for my future guest bedroom as options -- and I dislike excess pillows on beds! But hey, a couple?? I can do that!

Raised beds (in the bedroom, not the garden) -- I never knew you could get them until I ended up replacing the bed I'd been given as a parental hand me down about ten years ago. The mattress/bed place was going out of business, and the frame associated with the mattress I wanted was elevated. I loved it, and it was a godsend last fall when I had my broken ankle because I could get up and out of it without an assist. (I'm six feet tall, which makes a difference...)

Ingrid, I love your first choice... I believe there's sufficient gold in it? Hard to tell on screens, but I love the patterns!

If you keep the reordered comforter set will you change the curtains? So far they don't seem to go with any of the other elements in the room.

Agree with snookums about balancing the white in the room which is why I suggested white lampshades as one solution,

Oops. I should have read all the way through the posts before I started looking up grey and gold comforters. You're really quick on the draw. You were wondering at the time if you could find curtains to tie everything together. I found this set you could have played around with if you liked it. You could skip the comforter set and just get the curtains, an ivory coverlet and a few pillows or whatever. Kind of like one of the beds bossyvossy posted. I thought the weight and richness of the fabric could stand up to the fabric in your hb. I'll post it just in case... .

http://www.touchofclass.com/bradshaw-comforter-set-natural/p/X010-001/?code=KMF05&gclid=CJnqqKT02cwCFUkkhgodtO0MGw

Ingrid, you are such a good sport and I think everyone is cheering you on to find your bedroom heart's desire.

I really empathize with what you're going through. In my own house I will think one thing will improve everything, and it really only creates a domino effect. Then I become overwhelmed and don't do anything.

I just realized that "headboard" is mentioned 78 times in this thread. I wonder if that is telling you something.

if I weren't saddled with a gold headboard. In hindsight I should have just gotten rid of the darn thing

Is this what's making everything so difficult? At first I thought you might love the headboard very much. I'm not sure you do and it really doesn't matter if others do because they will never set foot in your bedroom.

I would confuse and frustrate myself with all the variables: headboard, lamps, curtains, rug, pillows, wall color. How can you pick a bedspread when the other items are influencing your decision?

i like what magdalena did with the spread...

i think the aqua color really clashes with your headboard, but if you don't fold over the spread and don't use the skirt, (and change the burgundy curtains) that spread could look nice! i think lots of spreads could look nice with the carpet and the headboard if you change at least the curtains....

magdalena, or is that WIZARD?, that's awesome! That is absolutely perfect. How did you do all that? I am not familiar with photoshop, is that what you've used? NEATO!

Busybee, I totally agree, the aqua color...why is it aqua? Is there aqua in the spread that we just can't see? The curtains do have to go, they are completely different from everything. I mean the floral ones.

My head is spinning with all the kind posts, so I'll do this randomly. chickadee, I loved the ensemble you posted and would have preferred it over the one I'm getting (again), but hubby gave it only a 7, and it a way that's a relief. Magdalena, I love your mock-up, really good job, and it made me realize that the lamp shades I have now are really too small compared to the length of the lamp bases and the size of the room, so thank you for that insight. As far as the turquoise bed skirt is concerned, since it's part of the set and therefore paid for, I'm going to try it. In that case my idea would be to have gold and turquoise pillows on the bed. That means gray (the carpet) and gold (headboard, pattern on bedspread and possibly curtains) would be the two main colors and turquoise could be the accent color, assuming white is not considered as a color. However, it might be a bit much. The only things written in stone now are the bedspread and shams and the golden headboard (although linelle may be right about it being the main problem). Nevertheless, it does go with this bedding so it will stay. Therefore the curtains and any decorative pillows on the bed are still to be considered, and I'll have to get new lamp shades. When the set arrives I'll put on the aqua bed skirt and post it here, and we can go from there. Thanks bunches, everyone, I can't believe that at this point anyone still has the patience to care.

Just ordered the larger white lamp shades. Moving along!

IMO, I think the curtains would look better with gold in it, rather than gray. Also, you should have the same ones for the door, or at least something that ties the two together.

Ingrid, I think it's it's absolutely wonderful your DH has helped work thru your 'dilema' and while he may not be able to explain his 'male logic', the point system is pure genius! You mention the patience with GW members, but imo, DH gets the gold metal, as he is 'on site' and an active participant in all this, not to mention the amount of patience in handling returns, which in itself can be a real pain. Choosing a white bedspread will allow you many options for sure~I prefer solids myself for that reason.. I was looking on line and came across cobolt blue/white pillows which I now can't seem to locate! I though how beautiful that would look, and possiblly hanging a couple of your porcelain plates above each nightstand. I would also love to see a couple of your colorful lamps in the bedroom~they would add quite a wow factor to the space. Now I need to hunt down those pillows!

Here's a link for a few more.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/245646264/designer-cotton-linen-pillow-schumachers?ref=market

Whoops, wrong link! Here ya go........

https://www.etsy.com/market/blue_white_pillows

ark-girl, Ha! Thanks, you are too kind. Yes, I used Photoshop.

Magdalena, where did you find the drapes? They really make the room look bright and fresh and the colors seem to be spot on.

To explain about the curtains again, they match a comforter that I've taken off because it became too warm and I just haven't taken down the curtains until I decide on what I would like to go with the new bedding set. I would never dream of pairing them with the bedding that I've now decided on.

Patty, I read what you said about my DH to him because it was such an extremely nice thing to say, and I could tell he was pleased. Also, thank you soooo much for steering me toward etsy pillows! I never thought of that site and they have such imaginative and unique pillows, and not even priced out of this world. I've bookmarked them because that's where I will be looking. So many other sites have junk when it comes to pillows, but this is primo stuff. Big hugs to you!

I didn't post earlier in your thread, Ingrid......but I have to say that I think you've made the right choice as I also prefer the first comforter/bedspread. I also agree that you're such a good sport to put yourself through this :) The mock-up Magdalena did looks super too and should really give you an idea of what else you could do!!!

Great choice.

I'd coordinate with different shades of white and cream in different textures. (Oh, and a little aqua).

I think it will look sophisticated, relaxing, and fresh.

raphaella and nosoccermom, so glad that you ladies with great taste agree. It's such a relief to at least get the basics taken care of and after that I can concentrate on the other parts of the room. I so agree, Magdalena did a professional job, and I like the curtains she chose much better than what I have now. It's really a great inspiration picture.