When we sold my dad's house, we had 2 buyers back out. It was a horribly frustrating process. One guy because he arbitrarily decided the house was in a flood plane even though the survey and EPA flood map said it wasn't. The other b/c the wife was pregnant and hormonal and freaked out and changed her mind about wanting to move before she had the baby.

Ended up for the better b/c we got a guy w/ no realtor so didn't have to pay commission and ended up with more $

The right person will come along :)

This one wasn't meant to be, but someone will come along for sure. Hang tough.

I'm sorry they backed out! But they should be thankful the ARC doesn't give blanket approval w/o having a plan or specifics. It protects their property value. A month is quick, I'm sure someone else will come along!

I can't believe you are selling - saw your post on house thread. I can't believe we are considering moving either. Good luck on finding another seller soon.

It's not meant to be with that buyer, and someone will come along soon. Hang in there :)

Awe, well first a big {{{Hug}}} to you and encouragement not to be sad. When I was a girl and disappointed about something my mother would always say that when something doesn't work out it's for a reason and when the time is right, there will be something even better waiting for me. And it's so true!!! So for now, forget about that buyer, think positive and trust that the right buyer will come along.

As an ex-realtor, my RE experience has me guessing that this buyer would have been a real PIA anyway. He already thought he was special enough to demand an approval by the HOA without the proper documentation, that's a bad sign. Ultimately, he probably would have had one demand after another and continued to caused problems and seriously, who needs that???

Now, the optimist in me truly believes that when a new buyer comes along, it will be someone who is head over heels in love with your house, fair minded and a joy to work with.

A kick in the pants? Oh no, no no. Selling your home can be extremely emotional, stressful and yes sometimes sad, don't let it get to you though, chin up, think positive and draw in all the positive vibes you can. I know I'll be one of the many rooting for the right buyer to come along.

We sold my Dad's house three times, even though every time there were multiple offers. The first time, there was an historic rainfall and flood the day after the first weekend of showings. Unbeknownst to us until then, the basement leaked like a sieve. We had to pause while the entire foundation was dug up and resealed. And replace the brand new carpet in the basement, which was ruined. Needless to say, the buyers ran screaming and I didn't blame them.

The second time, the buyers got all the way to having the inspection before it dawned on them that the house was on well and septic, not city service. This was clear on the first page of the MLS listing, but neither the buyers nor their agent noticed. This was not something they were willing to deal with, and they backed out.

The third sale stuck, although getting to the closing table was arduous for other reasons. We first listed at the beginning of August, we closed on December 1.

It will happen, don't be sad.

No, it sucks, it's a pain. So sorry!

I blanked it out but I think it happened to us twice on our old house. The only one I recall now was the guy who was selling his house to a friend and buying ours because he wanted to downsize (from his 12,500 sq foot house to our 8,500 sq foot house). He was downsizing solely because he thought prices were going to drop (they were done dropping in retrospect). It turns out, though, he convinced his friend of that and the friend decided not to buy his house from him after all! So odd.

You never know who your buyer is or when they will show up, so hang in there. The person who bought our house (childless older couple ... buying a 6-8 bedroom house, another thing we never expected) put in a bid on Christmas Eve. We had company and didn't take it seriously at all. But they were our buyers.

At least it isn't costing you anything to wait for then to come along!

I'm so very sorry and here's a ((((hug))))). Selling a home is a business transaction, but I've always found it just about impossible to leave emotion out of the picture. I know your disappointment, and just want to say that the right buyer will come along at just the right time. Don't lose faith.

LOL, KSWL does not mince words.

TBH, "it wasn't meant to be" and "everything will be okay" are two phrases many people do indeed find comforting, but they make me want to stomp my feet...

To me they kind of cut off the useless, self-pitying carrying on and wild, fruitless speculation that I was hoping to engage in!

Magdalena --- sorry for the hijack

So sorry - having sold two places last year I can understand how disappointing this would be. Hang in there - someone else will come along.

I had to close a deal with a buyer who should have backed out. It was a nightmare. A cr@ppy realtor didn't help the situation much. Be glad it didn't go through and you can get right back on the market.

I agree with KSWL on the fate thing. When things happen for a reason, the reason they just happen is no one did anything.

It seems as if, unless these people could find a place that already had the building they need in the back yard, they will not find anything that will give them an approval on a phantom building?

Well, Kswl ya never know, I only have the experiences I have as reference but many of them point towards fate, guess it's all about what one believes. That said, eventually when you build that awesome house you posted about, sell your current home and vent here about the transaction, I promise not to say it wasn't meant to be as a supportive gesture to you.. :c)

I'm sorry, ML, it does suck when you think you're moving forward and then BAM, you're back to where you started. I think it's very rare to find the perfect house that is already built exactly as you want without compromise, so too bad that buyer couldn't see that. I'm of the opinion the right buyer will come along for you, it just takes patience and time. And TR is right, it is a business transaction so try to keep it that way and stay in touch with your realtor & the current market.

Thank you everyone. I read your replies last night before going to bed and that was the first time I shed tears over this whole thing. We need to keep our perspective because we don't NEED to sell this house. So all the never ending projects are done and now all we have to do is maintain and enjoy this house. I think we're going to have a party just because.

Allison0704 "I can't believe you are selling - saw your post on house thread. I can't believe we are considering moving either."
I know, I guess we get the itch on the same schedule! (Allison and I were building our homes at the same time, back in 2006.)

lukkiirish "As an ex-realtor, my RE experience has me guessing that this buyer would have been a real PIA anyway."
Well, he is a lawyer. ;-)

kswl2 "I don't believe home sales are governed by fate, or any kind of divine or otherwise cosmic direction, so the phrase "it wasn't meant to be" is meaningless to me. There is a known cause and effect here, one over which you had no control. It's a shame they backed out, better luck with the next prospect!"

I tend to agree with you unless I'm the one on the receiving end of those phrases. They sure mean a lot when I'm down in the dumps!

The control part is what we are having a hard time with the most. The buyer relays info to his agent, the agent relays to our agent, then our agent relays to us. There's bound to be a loss of communication down the line. Plus, add in the HOA secretary, HOA president & HOA ACC - lots of people involved and talking to the buyer. Who knows what was really said.

MtnRdRedux "LOL, KSWL does not mince words."
No she doesn't. That's her best feature!

"...useless, self-pitying carrying on and wild, fruitless speculation..."

I read this to DH and he wants to know if you were hiding behind a bush in our backyard, while we talked for two hours on our back porch! Wild, fruitless speculation indeed!

arkansas_girl "It seems as if, unless these people could find a place that already had the building they need in the back yard, they will not find anything that will give them an approval on a phantom building?"
Apparently, they have given up. Their agent said that they have their eye on some commercial property for the workshop and then will buy a house separately. That seems very odd to me. Also seems that their agent might bank a little more if this were the case . . .

I completely understand your disappointment. I recently sold my (HOA controlled) home. The listing clearly stated the HOA fees, but 3 previous buyers backed out of their offers stating they didn't like the fees. Hopes dashed but finally got it done.

Sending along hugs, as I know how frustrating that was for you. I'm with Lukkiirish on this one. My first thought was that this guy probably would have turned out to be a real PIA with more demands down the road.

Lol, lukki and mags!

Sorry to see this. Be sure that your realtor quickly changes the listing if he/she had put a "Sale Pending" note on it.

Been there, done that. Our first buyer came up with an equally ridiculous scenario that was a make or break for the deal. When a buyer does that it's because they've changed their mind and/or found something they want more and need an out. Move on. There's always another buyer.

I am sorry to hear this, ML and have also been in your shoes before. Like others said, the right buyer will come along. Try to stay positive!

So sorry to hear this. On the bright side, you said your house is done so you get to enjoy it for awhile longer before some lucky buyer gets to move in!

We're in the process of killing ourselves and using every spare minute we have to get all the remodeling and unfinished projects done so we can list our house. It will be more than a little bittersweet once we sell - the house is looking so nice and "done" now, just like we've always envisioned, but we (hopefully) won't have much time to enjoy it ourselves.

Good luck - you never know, the next buyer might be right around the corner!

Edited to add - I agree it might have been a sign that it would have been more difficult to deal with this purchaser through closing - and I am a lawyer :-) (who agrees we're not always easy to do business with, maybe because we're trained to anticipate all the pitfalls that could happen with any transaction!).

I can understand the concern if they wanted to build a large workshop on the property and feared not getting approval, but then maybe they shouldn't be looking at HOA properties if they have such a specific need and no plans drawn up yet.

My DH also wanted to be able to build a large workshop on property we were looking at in TN for a retirement home. We first bought a beautiful 24 acre lot in a rural development with CC&R's and a not-yet-formed HOA. I was able to make the approval of a certain size secondary building to be used as a workshop contingent on our offer, even without a plan ready, but we were still dealing with the developer selling the land. The CC&R guidelines would have still applied as to the design, but I wanted to make sure the size and use wouldn't be an issue when we went to build a few years later.

In the end, we decided it would be best to purchase a non-HOA property for other reasons and to avoid any issues that might come up with our intended use of the property. So we sold that lot and bought a fixer upper existing home that already had a 5,000 sf barn for DH'S shop (and other structures like a guest house and horse barn). No brand new dream home for me just yet but DH will be very happy!

When my daughter and SIL sold their home a few months back, they had two buyers that were nightmares. The first was a couple moving here from out of state wanting a turn key property which it was, so much so that the only thing they could say was wrong to negotiate price with was that the front entry steps were too big. They were a tad high, but they were originally installed by the builder. They expected for the price to be dropped accordlingly to supposedly have the steps replaced. My DD and SIL declined and quickly got another offer, the woman was a first time homeower with nothing to put in her new home. She literally wanted everything and anything that not yet made it into storage or was used to stage the property with FOR FREE.

I forgot to add that after lots of negotiation over stuff (as opposed to the house) she bought it, the only things she got were things my DD & SIL did not want to haul away so it worked out in the end. She thought she got a great deal and they were saved the hassle of moving stuff they didn't want.

I'm sorry they backed out. I'd be disappointed too. The photos you've shared of your home are beautiful. The right buyer will show up hopefully sooner than later!