I'm 50 and I left a company after 16 years - an s&p 500 company, so it's maybe a different situation. I was recruited over a period of six months or so and no one at my company knew about it. My leaving came as a complete surprise, but I left and business carried on.

First of all, every one of us is replaceable. If you leave, they will get by. People leave their jobs all the time and you need to be thinking about yourself. I would also not be talking about your interview activity with colleagues. It's bad form and won't serve you well in the long run.

So what to do. First of all, think about retirement. Where are you with preparation? How important is the money? Are you in a financial position that following money will make a significant difference in your future?

Second, think about the work you will do every day. Do you like that picture? Is it something that you really want to do? If not, keep looking.

Third, think about the environment. Is it where you want to be? Are these people you want to work with? Are there any questions about ethics or the way things are done in general? How much younger/older are the leaders? Remember they will keep getting younger and control your destiny.

Now how important is balance of work and personal life? What sacrifices are you willing to make? Do you really want to move from your current community? What benefits does the new area offer you? What things are a no go? Can you manage these choices for 10-14 years?

Our age is interesting for job searches. The window to change is tight, and we're not in a place where job hopping is a good option - think long term savings, 401k vesting etc. Also, making a mistake at our age is harder to recover from. I have friends who find themselves in that position.

At the same time, the window to make a change is also tight and you're better off moving now then trying in five years.

So what do you do right now? Stop taking about it and answer the questions about the potential new job in a vacuum. Maybe you'll get the job, maybe not. Maybe you get the raise, maybe not. They need to be evaluated independently. I've said this before, but I believe taking the emotion out will yield a better decision.

I could have stayed at my company. I probably wouldn't have been laid off and the money wasn't horrible. But I wanted more - money, authority, influence. I could have stayed, but it would have been signing up for mediocrity. I questioned my decision a lot the first year, but I'm energized now in a way I haven't been In a long time. I gave up some security for a higher risk/reward and I think it will pay off. I asked all those hard questions of the new offer and I trusted my gut, even when things started out a little different than expected.

It's really hard being the new gal. It's really hard not having the network and the knowledge I once did. But I look forward and like what I see. Oh, and the old company carried on fine without me.

In my youth I attended a "going away" party for a physician in the practice. The head physician stated, "It is like a pail of water. You stick your hand in the water. When you pull your hand out of the water the hole you leave shows how much you will be missed.". What a b*st*rd. Yes, we are all replaceable. But I never forgot the vision created by nastiness.

That was nasty. However, I've seen people out of work because they acted as if they weren't.

I have not worked in corporate, but in all my social service jobs, it was not the norm to talk about salary. I, too would have a major problem with salary inequality.

I agree with Spanish, I am not sure why everyone had to know about this interview.

In my opinion, given all the information you shared, this job is not for you. There are too many negatives. The first being a relocation without a huge pay raise. Unless this is your dream job and it has so much potential that you can't turn it down, I would let this one pass.

You just started looking! Have you gotten in touch with "head hunters" in your field?

Yes, most people can be replaced. My oldest left a job due to the stress. They are trying very hard to woo her back. They only now appreciate what she was doing because no one else can do it as competently and efficiently as she could. Would this be your situation?

Would there be a way to renegotiate your job? The stress of feeling under appreciated and under compensated will affect your health.

I am your age-- just turned 52 and have been going through mid-career change as well. My situation was very different but I had to consider some of the same factors.

I made my choice to move for my quality of life and mental health-- these don't seem to be major factors in your situation. However, I DO think quality of life is something that becomes much more important to us in our 50s. Things I was willing to do when I was 30, just aren't of interest to me now... long work hours, long commute, weekly travel and living from a suitcase are all things I've left behind. Your list will be different in your situation but I encourage you, for a moment, to consider just the lives you'd live minus the job (new and current) .. today, in 5 years, in 10.

Surely you want to be valued and fairly compensated--we all do. But for me, it was important to disassociate the salary from the position and the quality of life it offered. I ended up taking quite a substantial salary cut for my new position but my quality of life has greatly improved. Also be sure to consider the costs of the way of life for the new position. For me, the cost of long hours and a long commute included not just the gas/mileage but also extra costs for food and services because I had so few hours at home during the week... paying full price for things I needed rather than shopping for the best option. Again, my situation was different but I encourage you to think of things beyond salary and benefits.

In the end, I had to do some real self analysis. I had achieved a nice title and a good salary and was, on paper, in line for an even better title (though the reality is, under the then CEO that wasn't going to happen... ). I had to disassociate my "self identify" and my ego from my title and the number of zeros in my salary in order to join an organization that gave me more peace of mind, more security and a better career path than some of the other options available at the same time. I can't say much about the opportunities I turned down... but the company I left failed and was sold in the year after I left. I am very confident that I made the right decision to leave.

At the end of the day, this decision falls to you and DH. I am a big believer in recognizing opportunities and embracing change... so if you are offered the new position and you decide it's your best option, then I wholly support you in your new life. I just encourage you to hesitate before taking a leap based primarily on salary. I understand that your current salary situation goes beyond just the money.. so I don't mean to suggest that it's all about dollars.. but do fight the urge to make the salary the biggest factor in your decision.

Best of luck to you-- I wish you all the best!

funky, spanish and gsciencechic, I'm trying to make a similar decision at age 50 but have kids at home (11 and 16) and wondering if you have/had kids to take into account when making your decision. I'm pretty sure I know what I'd do career-wise if it was just me, but it's harder when those financial decisions will affect them as well. Just going thru the soul searching and self analysis and it it is not easy. I think 20 years from now the kids would understand and appreciate the extra time vs. extra things from their mom, but it will be a hard sell in the moment.

In my experience you never know what a new job will really be like until you're in it. Also I've seen first hand how newcomers can be the first to go if there's a reduction and I know a lot of people in their 50's who have been laid off recently. And at 50+ it becomes more difficult for some people to find a new job. Based on what you describe so far I'm not sure the potential new opportunity is worth the risk though it may well be. It sounds like the main reason you are considering leaving is because of how you've been jerked around with compensation which is understandably frustrating.

As others have said, you do need to very objectively weigh your options. Don't do something you'll regret because you made an emotional decision out of frustration over compensation issues.

Excellent question Daisy. I do not have kids. I am the primary earner in our household so I had to take my decision very seriously.

Yes, it's a huge decision, that's why I wanted to seek the wisdom of GW. :) Of course, they may go with the other candidates, so it all could be moot. But I have been thinking since the interview about this, doing some fact-finding and reflection.

No children, but we have MIL who lives close-by. She is looking to retire this year. She is in her late 60's (she is the same age as my oldest brother and my DH is 6 years younger than me). She could choose to move with us. We have talked about this with her over the past year or so.

I am at a regional state university, looking to go to a larger regional state university but a different state. I'm in the optional/non-state retirement plan with TIAA, so no worry about changing retirement plans. I have tenure. I'd have to go through tenure again but I would not lose rank. So, I would say it is a lateral move but better, with a negative being tenure. The salary would be better, but is it "enough" that we could make it work financially. Since all state employees, salaries are public data. If I do get an offer, I would need to run it up the chain of command to see if they would match it. This is interesting timing given that I may actually get notice of the equity bump this week. Unfortunately, one of the ways to get a pay increase or better workload in academia is to get another offer, and many people go on the job market just for that. That's just how it works. But that was not my sole intention. I haven't applied any other places and wouldn't waste others' time if I wasn't seriously considering. I just saw that this seemed to be a very good fit for my skills.

You are correct that the window is very narrow for job change at this age. Fortunately, academia is one area where age does not seem to work against you. Either I'm going to do it now or in the next few years or else stay through retirement. My colleague in the office next door feels she is too close to retirement, otherwise she'd consider leaving, too. My colleagues know for the most part because some of them are my references who were checked. We are a small department (need to be larger based on growth) but are all pretty close and genuinely care for and support each other.

Funky, that is a huge part of it. My workload is crushing, and I am stressed all of the time. One of my students told me the other day I was the "glue that holds everything together in our major" though I was thinking inside that I am becoming unglued! I don't know if I am trading "same crap, different day" but I could glean from the interview that the people there seem to have more of a life.

I totally realize that everyone can be replaced. We had someone leave last year, recruited back to where she came from---more money, less workload. I miss her but we found someone really good to take her position.

I grew up in two generations of academics, so I know how different it can be. That led me to finish a BA and run like the wind in the opposite direction. ;)

You're looking at this the right way. When you get the numbers, plug them into your equations and decide.

I would question the ease and time involved in regaining tenure at our age. That's a huge difference from my world and something you need to weigh seriously. Also it sounds like you could be trading that for workload, but as a non-tenured prof, what guarantees do you have it wont be similar?

I know I come from business, but an equity raise might not be the same as a "leave and come back" raise. Just be ready for them to call your bluff.

And if you can build me the algorithm that wins the lotto, I will gladly split the winnings in your favor.

I was the "glue that holds everything together in our major" though I was thinking inside that I am becoming unglued! I don't know if I am trading "same crap, different day" but I could glean from the interview that the people there seem to have more of a life.

Ii understand there is a pay issue, and its importance, but same crap different day is an issue for almost every job, I think. My husband is a retired journalist, eventually said he felt like he wrote the same story day after day, just changed the names and places. He loved it for the first twenty years until in his fifties he did what ever he could to stay fresh. Despite that, he truly misses being an active journalist.

Our son is an MD, now just 50, says he never thought he would see the day when he could tire of medicine and its wonders, but feels like he's seen so much over and over again, and oh, the workload....... Most of our kids are hs teachers, new students every year, but teaching the same old stuff year after year, and the workload.... Tenured professor Dtr who teaches at the university level says the same thing, rewards come from her students, not the uni., and the workload is awful.

I hope your uni comes through with a big raise. I think in your case I'd value tenure more than anything else, even without a raise, the way higher ed seems to be going. There will be one eventually. As for same old, same old, forty or fifty years of the same thing is forty or fifty years of the same thing, with lots of tweaks and newness along the way. But it is essentially the same.

Thanks, 1929. I actually finally got tenure a year ago--for much of my career I was in non-tenure line positions, so I am not that far removed from it! Right, it's something to seriously consider. They only offer tenure to people hired at full Professor vs. Associate Professor which I am. This varies by university whether they honor previous tenure or not. I have been Associate for a few years now, but not quite ready for full Prof, maybe 2 or 3 more years. That is also another pay bump, a pretty big one, but the equity issue would still need to be addressed because I'd be way low on that too. I could also come in with credit towards tenure at the potential job if I want it. That can be negotiated.

Certainly ready for them to call my bluff. I realize that could happen. If I get the equity adjustment anticipated percent-wise that has been discussed, I will certainly be in line with my peers.

And we keep buying the Powerball when the jackpot is big, LOL.

Ah. Academia with tenure involved. A world I know well due to my father's life as a college prof, and DH's and my careers, first at university and then bolting to the DOD to become teaching linguists there.

Trite as it sounds, only you can decide this. For me it would be measuring tenuire with work-stress versus non-tenure with that very special acquiring-tenure-stress. Is publishing a factor at the new school? If so, do you have something planned for publication? Or will they guarantee tenure after 2-3 years and based on what you have done in research up to now? If tenure is not certain, nothing could make me jump into job-insecurity at age 53, although you are right, changing jobs at this age is common in academia, but often for a vertical move.

It sounds as though you really want to go for it. Do let us know what you choose to do - and wishing you the very best as you make this decision!

"If I leave, we are down two people, and the program/department is really screwed"

Ah, but isn't that what they have been doing to you for so many years? I think the bottome line is how much do you actually enjoy the job now? Would the new challenge and relocation be exciting and fun or burdensome and drudgery? Can you ascertain the environment at the new university? Are the folks in your department there happy? Could you spend a day before you accept if they offer you the job?

Whatever happens, I hope your new adjustment in salary is what you are hoping for-if not, take the leap! Otherwise, you will be teaching them that what they are doing to you is okay and it is not!

Cyn, thank you for your comments. Yes, that is a huge incentive for them to try to retain me. Luckily, we have a new President (not the one who gave the huge raises to certain administrators) and things are generally looking more positive than they have been the past few years. I also talked with the provost about some other campus initiatives I could be part of, and she is a very reasonable person. OTOH, the other school may come in with a fantastic offer, or none at all.

There is a lot of other things to think about: DH, MIL, our house. Our neighborhood has become very up and coming, so houses are selling. That being said, we have one of the smaller homes. But we couldn't sell unless we knew what DH would do.

I faced similar circumstances last year and was recruited into another organization with the title and salary that I felt I should have been making at my old position. I loved my work but was tired of the govt. cutbacks and knew that I had to change sectors.

Sometimes the universe does grant us what we most obsess over. Only in my case, by Day 3 I realized that I had made a mistake in obsessing over the wrong things.

Once your financial bases are covered, time - and how you spend your time - is far more valuable than title and money. I have less vacation, a longer commute and - most importantly - a less intellectually demanding role.

I hope I can make some improvements in my new role but I am bored and plotting a get-away at the 12-month mark. Hopefully back in my old sector.

Good luck.

"Once your financial bases are covered, time - and how you spend your time - is far more valuable than title and money. I have less vacation, a longer commute and - most importantly - a less intellectually demanding role."

This is so important. Like you, gsciencechick, I work in academia although not as a tenured faculty; I'm an administrator. But what burns people out in academia is probably similar for both groups: working with young people it is terribly easy-and tempting-to become so enmeshed in trying to help by doing your best for all of them that you end up exhausting yourself. No matter how much you do there is always more that needs to be done; it never ends.

And those who truly care are in a tough catch-22 loop: what colleagues don't or won't do becomes a need gap that you take on because you care. And then they learn that they don't need to do it because you will and so it goes....add to that the reality that today's college student is a very different young adult than what we worked with 5-10-15 years ago. Kids coming into college have been 'managed' by parents every step of their lives and they (and said parents) simply expect that same type of concierge/personal service from the university and its' faculty/staff. They aren't bad kids but they also aren't kids who have any experience or skills in self-management, and that is hugely draining on those of us trying to work with them as they go through the college experience. They truly do not understand boundaries and so if you let them they will most assuredly treat everyone as they have treated mom: ask and parent (professor/administrator) drops everything to make it happen--no matter how trivial or how much it should be the kid's responsibility.

I've been doing much introspection over the past few weeks. I'm a few years older than you and could retire if I chose to do so. But....I'm not quite ready. So what I suggest you consider is to think very, very critically about everything you are doing. Use the filter 'do what only you can do' and then DROP THE REST.

I once had a therapist who used the analogy of running a hamburger stand. If you are distributing burgers hungry people will come to you to get one. If the stand closes...hungry people find somewhere else to get fed. And so it goes with work life. As a tenured faculty member you, very frankly, no longer are required to do academic scut work in pursuit of that goal. If you don't want to be on X committees, pare it down to the number that works for you or take a committee sabbatical for a little while. If you are advising student groups and it's taking time you don't have, because nobody else wants to take them on....tell them you can't do it any more. Believe me they will find a way to get their hamburgers AKA get another advisor. Or not, but you have to let. it. go.

I think it is incredibly freeing to know that at this point in your career the balance of power has shifted: you are tenured. You can't be fired. You CAN do what makes you happy professionally and say no thanks to the rest :). I'm slowly realizing that myself; I'm financially independent, I could leave tomorrow and I can say no today to the stuff I won't or can't do anymore.

So if the new job comes through, everything comes together smoothly and it's a dream and you feel moved to move on, so be it. However if the new job looks great because the old job looks so miserable, give some deep and serious consideration to making it not so miserable before you jump ship.

Usually an increase in $ is not enough to make someone happy in a job that they are unhappy with for whatever reason. It is probably time for some change for you, even if it is not for the job that you just interviewed for. That sounds like it would turn your entire family life upside down, esp your husband. It sounds like you are very resentful because of the salary discrepancy, and rightfully so. The question that you have to ask yourself is, even if you received a salary adjustment, after all of the time, that management has let this situation exist, would you be happy staying there? My guess is probably not. A fresh start is probably what you need, and I would not worry about how many people your division is down to. That's not your problem. You need to think about what is best for you and your family. Management will find another warm body for that position soon enough. Good luck. Take your time, and find what's right for you and your family.

Quick update: I've not received an offer from the other place, so I am assuming they are negotiating with someone else at this point.

The equity adjustments we all got were small and a start. I do not have any more details about additional money I will get.

I agree, running and others, tenure is a huge thing to consider. I've also gotten much better about saying no, and I've met with my chair about my courseload and schedule at my annual review.

I am, however, going to continue to see what other opportunities are out there for me, and what I can do to get promoted to full Professor in a year or two.

Good luck gsciencechick!

Thanks for the update. Good luck, gsciencechick. Good professors, like you seem to be, are hard to find.

If our campus let go everyone who was looking for a job, we'd lose a lot of people! With tenure, you can still be fired for cause or in a case of financial exigency. Still, we've had a huge "brain drain" the past couple of years, and even in the past few weeks a lot of people have left, both faculty but especially staff. Can't say how many "farewell" receptions I've been invited.

With search candidates, in the committee we never discuss salary. That is up to the Dean when an offer is made. However, anyone applying can and should be smart to look at salaries online for state institutions and know the ranges for that rank, department, or College/School. Right now we know we are not really competitive unless someone is just getting out of school and wants that first job. Good news, our President realizes this and is doing what he can budget-wise to make salaries competitive.

I've never worked in academics and it sounds very different from other career fields. In my experience, pink mountain's advice is spot on.

The issue isn't whether folks are looking for a job, the issue is whether they make it known they are looking for a job. Two different things, like I said. One (everyone is always on the lookout for a better job) is the reality of the modern work place and folks need to adjust to that. The other is announcing something that everyone should be aware of anyway. If you announce it, your loyalty now is plainly split, and many folks will not feel great about that. They had trust that you would behave professionally and be dedicated to your work. Now they have reason to think otherwise. Not something that needs to get put into the bosses head, s/he has plenty to worry about already. If your boss is smart, they will know, like Sciencechick says, how competitive they are in the job market. Make them feel lucky to have you and your dedication, rather than knowing they have an employee with one foot out the door. Because if they know you want to leave, they may run across someone who would be perfect for your job and wants/needs it, so they may do you the favor of making your exit easier and covering their expected loss.

Update: got an official rejection letter. Oh well, it'll be OK. DH said look on the bright side at least we don't have to abandon the garden we've invested a lot of time and money this season.

Thanks for all the feedback.

keep looking opportunities come when we least expect them i would definitely have started looking when they said to get another offer and maybe they would match it that doesn't sound encouraging to me i didn't see much regarding how your dh felt about the prospective job and a new job for him to? that is life changing for someone who is pretty happy with where they are.... try to look at your situation as cup half full instead of empty .....life is so much more pleasant then

Sorry to hear it, gscience. As someone who has been through a lot of change the last bunch of years (much of it not of my doing-- company merger and repercussions), I am a big believer in the best opportunities come when you least expect them. Also, salary is not everything. It's not unimportant but it isn't everything.

I totally agree with zippity. Life IS much better when you look at the best parts of your situation. I have been making a conscious effort to do so since November and I am MUCH happier for it and, I think, a better employee, peer and human. Resentment is a heavy load to carry.. and it about broke my back!

A sample of one doesn't make for good statistics. Keep your chin up and keep looking in case something better comes along.

I am sorry to read about your plight. When they didn't give you the raise five years ago and you stayed, you demonstrated to them that you were not going to go anywhere no matter what. So the fact that they didn't give you a raise but they gave other people raises two years ago shouldn't be a surprise. I don't think you should discuss with your coworkers what you're up to. I do think that you should be looking for another job AND even if this place should come through with a raise it just works as a better comp for another job somewhere else. Keep looking. Too bad that they will be down to two people. They will be able to find a replacement fairly easily. That person will not be like you but that doesn't matter. What needs to matter to you and your family are the actions that you take to ensure your future, they are not looking out for your future.

Now if they wanted to give you a massive bonus in addition to the raise to make up for failing to give you the raise several years ago that would be different.