Wife Cannot Function Without Clubbing
10 years ago
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THE one piece you cannot live without...
Comments (21)22 years ago I bought a Dansk 12.5 inch quiche dish at a Dansk outlet store for $13. It was so striking: white porcelain, crisply fluted, beautifully proportioned. Afterwards I was fearful my MIL, who had the tongue of a viper, would say something about the purchase. Afterall, she'd raked me over the coals for paying $3 for a fluted pie plate at a garage sale instead of buying a plain one for a dollar. What on earth would I, a young wife with a baby, need a HUGE quiche plate like that for? Pretentious yuppie entertaining? I'd never use it, it was a waste of money, how silly of me, etc. It was a long while before I used the dish in her presence; by then she'd moved on to other subjects for criticism. Lately it's dawned on me how much I love this dish. As the years have gone by and the family grew, I've made family sized cornbread, cobblers, & casseroles in it. I've made double pie recipes for big blueberry pies for 4th of July cookouts, pumpkin pies at Thanksgiving & Christmas, or lovely apple pies in Fall. I've used it as a serving tray to bring drinks & sandwiches to friends on the patio. It's served as a platter for mountains of chocolate chip cookies at PTA functions or cheeses for buffet suppers. It's been such a beautiful functional piece that's served a variety of purposes well. There are many things in my kitchen that I like a lot, but the Dansk quiche plate is the only piece I love. And the irony is: some day I'll probably pass it on to a daughter-in-law. I'll tell her this story and hope that she'll get as much happy usage from the dish as I have....See MoreEmotionless wife! Help!
Comments (102)Hi, I know this is a really, really old thread, but this guy's situation is so similar to mine, and it showed up on the first page of a Google search so I thought I'd save everyone the hassle of rehashing opinions that have already been made here. I thought it would help if I could add my opinion in case anyone else has the same problem. I wonder how this couple are going now because the conversation ended so abruptly. And I don't think the couple were going down the road toward a resolution. It would be good to see if he has gained any wisdom. As someone looking out from within the same kind of relationship, I've got the following comments to make. I feel really sorry for the wife in this relationship. I think, as Bob tried to point out, the guy was trying very hard to show how right he was and that how it was all the wife's fault, and that she was the one with the problem who needed therapy and medication. As a guy who also likes to be touched as a form of close contact, but who lives with a wife who doesn't, I think it is extremely judgemental to assume that the behaviour that you prefer is the right way. And to the people who were encouraging him, saying that he sounds like the perfect man, you were just feeding his ego and justifying his opinion. I do not believe you were helping their marriage to succeed. A guy who thinks he and his wife are the best looking couple at the school and buys his wife a hair straightener because he has judged that she doesn't maintain her looks well enough needs to get his priorities sorted out before he starts to examine his wife's flaws. So, now that we have that out of the way, I hope I can share my opinion on my relationship. It may be a completely different situation to Blizzard19 or there may be a kernel of similarity. For years I have thought that my wife was emotionless, because she didn't display the common signs of affection. Her family do not kiss or hug each other and are very poor at displays of affection. When they do is seems forced. My family does display affection in this way. I have often had Blizzard19s mindset on how I can get my wife to be more emotional. Then I started to examine what she regarded as fun, what she enjoyed. At Christmas and on other holidays, her family likes to sit around and ridicule each other. They rip each other to pieces and have so much fun doing it. I have always been uncomfortable in their family gatherings because of fear that I would become the butt of a joke that would last for half an hour and leave me humiliated. Then I started to look at humour. It appears that you can laugh with someone (like the joy expressed in someone achieving a great thing) or you can laugh at them (as in pointing out people's weaknesses). To me, having my weaknesses pointed out is like being killed. And something is being killed, my pride. What I have discovered is that my wife's family comes from a position of safety. They are secure in themselves and their love for one another, and they have all been through the fire of ridicule and have found that they are still loved on the other side. And ridicule, and the fun that goes along with it, is their form of hugging each other, because it brings great merriment. I come from a position of fear, where I think I need to be protected from dangers in the world, and ridicule looks like any other attack, it attacks the pride and humiliates, which like I said, feels like death and I feel like I have to fight it, though I have never learned this skills to rebuff an attack, just like my wife never learned to hug. So what feels like a hug to her and her family (a little humiliating joke) feels like an attack, and the same may be true from her perspective, a hug may feel awkward and forced and a bit intrusive. If I were to ask the question, which form of interaction was superior, I would have to say hers, because it brings great joy amongst them and it also removes false pride. It is bare soul meeting bear soul, versus flesh meeting flesh. I have only come to these realisations after a weekend of deep soul searching. Having said the above, I would ask Blizzard19, if he was still around, what makes his wife laugh? What brings her pleasure as an end not a means. It may not be the type of joking around that my wife and her family enjoy, but there will be some form of non-physical love being expressed. If he examined her in the company of her family and saw what gave her joy he would find the way that she expresses her love, and if he cares about her, he would travel to where her pleasure is and meet her there. That's the journey I am about to embark on....See MoreLead Paint and Pregnant Wife in Old House
Comments (28)so, lead. it is toxic and we all know it is toxic and has long-term effects. there is no arguing about that. the most typical pathway is ingestion. generally, i am relatively unconcerned about adults living in a house with lead paint. adults don't eat off the floor or chew windowsills. they do, perhaps, pick up some object off the floor and then eat without washing their hands first. also, if there is a garden close to your house, where chips would fall in it. but, adults are big and developed and this amount of exposure typically isn't such a big deal. Science has shown us that low-levels of lead exposure in pregnant women that wouldn't be a big deal otherwise can cause some neurological defects. Nothing obvious like a third arm, but something less obvious like a learning problem later in life. Or maybe the IQ is 125 instead of 130. But, as adults, if we are aware of a potential risk we can avoid that risk. A pregnant woman living in a house with lead paint chips or lead paint on contact surfaces (door jambs, etc) should wash her hands frequently, particularly before eating. Vacuum more frequently than usual and frequently vacuum around window sills and doors. If you exercise some caution, I don't see any reason to replace the windows and trim because you have a pregnant person in the house. But by the time that baby becomes mobile, you do want to make sure that the lead issue has been taken care of. How you do this is up to you. You can have the windows replaced by a reputable contractor that follows lead-safe practices (this basically means they use a bunch of plastic sheeting) or you can start with the worst offenders and fix them yourself. If you do this, you want to make sure your work area is isolated and that you aren't making things worse by tracking paint chips and lead dust around. I'm really not going to get into how to do the work yourself, but focus on the doors and windows you use the most....See MoreOMG !! We Cannot Find a Hood we like and Cannot order Cabinets !!
Comments (18)I was typing up my response above when montana and sue responded, sorry! I do like the wood hoods but I do also like the stainless hoods. I also really like the mantle hoods. I have the same problem with granite ... I like almost every one I see. Too bad I'm not building several houses, haha ! The website for kitchensource is great. There are so many different style hoods to look at there. Thanks ! If I went with the Omega National hood (which looks just like the one that was option 3 above from the KD), what would you suggest for the looks of a custom topper ? I have played around with different ideas for that hood but have not come up with a very good one yet. According to the KD, that one has to attach to cabinets to the left and right, correct ? (we are using cherry) Got a phone call back from KD. We will save $800 by not having them provide any kind of hood, so that's money we can put towards other options if we do stainless or a different wood hood. He had an idea for the stainless hood and the problem with the duct from the ceiling not lining up with the hood's flue. His idea was to have a metal worker "box out" the top of the stainless hood to hide the pipe. I mocked it up in my 3D program and also the custom hood pictured in the original post (the hoods below may not be exactly to scale but this gives a good idea of it, and of course the wood hood would match the cabinets). (click on picture for enlarged view) Florantha, yes I posted my plans last year (link to the old thread at the top of this thread in the first post). Kudos to you for recognizing it!! I thought this day would never come when we would be almost finished building !! Interesting point about downplaying the hood. Which option do you favor or do you have another idea for venting ?...See More- 10 years ago
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