Wife Cannot Function Without Clubbing
carman83
8 years ago
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tete_a_tete
8 years agosushipup1
8 years agoRelated Discussions
THE one piece you cannot live without...
Comments (21)22 years ago I bought a Dansk 12.5 inch quiche dish at a Dansk outlet store for $13. It was so striking: white porcelain, crisply fluted, beautifully proportioned. Afterwards I was fearful my MIL, who had the tongue of a viper, would say something about the purchase. Afterall, she'd raked me over the coals for paying $3 for a fluted pie plate at a garage sale instead of buying a plain one for a dollar. What on earth would I, a young wife with a baby, need a HUGE quiche plate like that for? Pretentious yuppie entertaining? I'd never use it, it was a waste of money, how silly of me, etc. It was a long while before I used the dish in her presence; by then she'd moved on to other subjects for criticism. Lately it's dawned on me how much I love this dish. As the years have gone by and the family grew, I've made family sized cornbread, cobblers, & casseroles in it. I've made double pie recipes for big blueberry pies for 4th of July cookouts, pumpkin pies at Thanksgiving & Christmas, or lovely apple pies in Fall. I've used it as a serving tray to bring drinks & sandwiches to friends on the patio. It's served as a platter for mountains of chocolate chip cookies at PTA functions or cheeses for buffet suppers. It's been such a beautiful functional piece that's served a variety of purposes well. There are many things in my kitchen that I like a lot, but the Dansk quiche plate is the only piece I love. And the irony is: some day I'll probably pass it on to a daughter-in-law. I'll tell her this story and hope that she'll get as much happy usage from the dish as I have....See Moreneed help for useless wife
Comments (18)From what you have said here, you seem to be a nice guy. I also come from that part of the world, not necessarily from India, and know the culture very well. I have many Indian friends and like Popi said, I sometimes feel sorry looking at the state of the women in such marriages. But from what you have told us here, you seem to be a different. You seem to have given enough space for your wife to express herself and also seem to have taken different measures to help her and make herself feel better. Let me tell you, how we can contribute in our marriage depends a lot on how we conduct our individual lives. Your wife seems to be doing nothing to enrich her individual life and hence she does not bring anything to your marriage. You said that you have encouraged her to go meet other people or go shopping or on a walk with them and also take singing lesson. But you said she does not take the steps to do these things. It is a clear indication that your wife is depresses. You need to seek a counselor and your wife needs to be honest to herself and open up and tell the doctor what she genuinely feels. Give her the confidence to open up, tell her that you will be there to listen and support her on whatever she might say. You might be hurt by what she has to say but being hurt for a short time and getting over it is better than being hurt for ever. Ask her what is bothering her. Or best, tell her that you would like to talk to about your marriage at a certain time (for example in the evening). Sit down and start asking her what is it that is bothering her. Ask her what she wants in life and what she expects from you. And then ask her to listen to what you have to say. Tell her what bothers you. Tell her that you want to make your marriage better and that there are certain things that could improve it. Be strong, tell her that you love her and want to make things better but if she is not willing to make any efforts you might just part ways. This might scare her and she might be more willing to work things out. You need to be strong and need to think for yourself too. If is not your entire job to make your wife's life enriching and to make her feel good all the time. I have tried this in my relationship and it has back-fired. I tried to please my partner all the time even if it meant me doing things and compromising on things that made be unhappy. I did all this to keep her from going away. And very soon I was so miserable that I wanted her to actually go away. So good luck to you and your wife and please seek a counselor's help as soon as possible....See MoreOMG !! We Cannot Find a Hood we like and Cannot order Cabinets !!
Comments (18)I was typing up my response above when montana and sue responded, sorry! I do like the wood hoods but I do also like the stainless hoods. I also really like the mantle hoods. I have the same problem with granite ... I like almost every one I see. Too bad I'm not building several houses, haha ! The website for kitchensource is great. There are so many different style hoods to look at there. Thanks ! If I went with the Omega National hood (which looks just like the one that was option 3 above from the KD), what would you suggest for the looks of a custom topper ? I have played around with different ideas for that hood but have not come up with a very good one yet. According to the KD, that one has to attach to cabinets to the left and right, correct ? (we are using cherry) Got a phone call back from KD. We will save $800 by not having them provide any kind of hood, so that's money we can put towards other options if we do stainless or a different wood hood. He had an idea for the stainless hood and the problem with the duct from the ceiling not lining up with the hood's flue. His idea was to have a metal worker "box out" the top of the stainless hood to hide the pipe. I mocked it up in my 3D program and also the custom hood pictured in the original post (the hoods below may not be exactly to scale but this gives a good idea of it, and of course the wood hood would match the cabinets). (click on picture for enlarged view) Florantha, yes I posted my plans last year (link to the old thread at the top of this thread in the first post). Kudos to you for recognizing it!! I thought this day would never come when we would be almost finished building !! Interesting point about downplaying the hood. Which option do you favor or do you have another idea for venting ?...See MoreWife & daughter conflict
Comments (71)Mattie, my comment was in response to OP's latest attempt to expand his story and his blurp about "Uncle Dan" and little girls sleeping between blah blah. He said he learned recently of horrid conditions. There was no mention of early fears (at time of divorce or young childhood)... why would he agree to unlimited visitations? He also states he never tried to push BM away himself, but that SM did. If your BM is exposing your child to horrid things, would you not try and do something about it right then? Of course you would and even if it was hard to prove and/or took time, you'd scream from the rooftops trying to get somebody to take you seriously. Considering OP set his own agreements and vistation allowences, don't you suppose if he'd have had concerns or seen signs of a daughter in distress he would have went to court and persued a proper court hearing and done all he could to cease unlimited vistations and/or attempted to get supervision visits? Don't you think we here would have heard early on that BM was being pushed away because of these horrid things? We got quite the lengthy run down ...we know the kids medical history, her sexual life...why did it take 60 post to come to 'oh and poor kid visited BM often and went through horrid things'. We first got BM never came around, only made things hard for SM who was trying to play mother, allowed BF to sack up with daughter at her house ( after BM decided she wanted daughter back in her life when daughter was older)...not one word about daughter's safety or being traumatized during the 13 years inbetween custody and 15th birthday fallout. If this woman allowed daughter to have a horrid unsafe childhood in her home, why is OP telling us how he has been trying to get daughter to give BM another chance? --"BM was never pushed away. She has always been able to see her daughter whenever she wants. The way that has worked out is that she didn't for long periods of time, then would come back into the picture for a brief period all gushing and loving, then would disappear etc. All this time I never once said anything bad about her. At this point BM is out of the picture because daughter refuses to see her. I have on many occasions tried to talk my daughter into giving her BM another chance but she refuses."--- I realize you have a very different situation with your SS and his BM and therefore do live in fear while SS is on his visitations and have a true need to worry while he is gone and how the visit may have affected him with the before and aftermath. But you also don't give promises of unlimited vistations and you do all you can to assure your SS's safety and use lawyers and courts to assist you. My comment was more in line with the fact that no one here was suggesting the child should have been sent unlimited if there were a problem. Why would he agree to such a thing? This 'problem' did not appear until way into this thread, and frankly, I'm not buying there was real concern or reason for such a concern during the girl's early years....See Morecarman83
8 years agoTammy Allen
8 years agocolleenoz
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7 years ago
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7 years agoTammy Allen
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7 years agoTammy Allen
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