Why are you allowing this abusive man to be around your children?

I would echo southernlights' comments. What is so great about this man that you continue in the relationship? He certainly doesn't sound like the ideal life partner to me:L ie, someone who supports you emotionally.

Wow. Patricia, what about this man is there to love? Why are you still with him? I'm sure that there are many other factors outside of what you've posted here (of course there are), but he has no regard for 1) your troubled son, 2) your mother, 3) your dog (that in itself would be a deal breaker for me - - haha), 4) YOU!

Do you feel that you need him financially (start building your own bank account, emotionally (certainly that's not working), or what?

Hello everyone, thanks for the feedback. When I fist met my husband he was a lot of fun and a great companion. And we connected on a deep level about our childhoods. We both were severely abused by our parents. He often drank and I thought it was just socially. Then he began to drink a whole bottle of wine every night. I think the alcohol helped him to socialize. He was also engaging with my son but never my dog. But as my son rejected him more he withdrew because he himself felt rejected. I took this under consideration. I am in the process of separating myself emotionally. That is the start. Next week I begin counseling. I have asked him to leave many times but he refuses and since he is not violent I cant have him removed.

Well it certainly looks like the party is well and truly over. Is there a reason you cannot leave yourself?

I want him to move since I live next door to my sons school. Financially I can not afford to move. Right now I feel helpless.

Well in your shoes then I wouldn't be making life easy for your husband. Let him get his own groceries, meals, do his own laundry etc. If you don't have a spare room, I'd sleep on the couch. Be civil, but not cordial. With luck he too will realise the party's over and move on and out.

I'm so sorry. You must be under a tremendous load of stress, and my heart aches for you. You deserve better than this.

At attorney can probably make this all happen effectively...

I cant afford an attorney.....I am so shut off from him right now. You know all this didn't happen over night. Over the months I have noticed we go to bed a separate times. I sleep at 11:00PM and he comes to bed at 12 or 1:00 sometimes 2am. I used to ask him to come and snuggle and he did it a couple of times but that was it. He only seems to want to be in bed awake with me when we have sex. I have asked him to get up with me in the morning before work to just have a cup of coffee but that only happened once. I stopped talking to him about my kids because he cant be supportive, so I have shut myself off. I find myself avoiding him not to avoid sex. I feel like he only throws me a bone when I complain and he really doesn't want to be close to me. How can I even be close to a man who cant be there for me?

The Legal Aid Society assists people who cannot afford to pay the fees charged by private attorneys.

Patricia, I'm sorry you're in this situation. One thing I do want to comment on...your user namename looks like it could be your real name. If it is, you might want to change your user ID here, just in case your husband or any of his friends/family were to Google you. You never know. If it is a made up name, then ignore me. ;) Good luck.

Change your picture also.

VERY good points, Bluebell66 and Sherry_7bAL!

Oh lord. 2 things a man would never come between is me and my kids or me and my dog! I'd throw him out so fast his head would spin. There would be no cordial way about it - "GET OUT and take your attitude with you", would be my response to this kind of behavior. And sex? HA.