OK folks, I think I DID manage to mess this up. I think I misunderstood how Round Robins work and am in the process of getting some feedback from the nice folks over in the Round Robins forum. When I get a better idea of where I went wrong I will post in here IMMEDIATELY. In addition, the Robin has NOT taken flight yet. I have had a LOT of unexpected company and things got delayed. So I started getting organized to send this Robin up in the wild blue yonder and then I started realizing someting wasn't making sense. I am expecting to get it resolved today and I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE I will get it in the mail tomorrow - pending getting some answers from the emails I sent out of course! lol I sent my questions to 15 individuals on the Round Robin forum and have already gotten one reply. Unfortunately they were a Newbie as well! lol So I'm hoping more answers will be arriving shortly. I just wanted to keep you folks up-to-date with our fat little Robin... who is losing weight even as we speak! lol I hope we can get her flying SOON!! Hugs from your host, Buddyfly (aka Marly)

Ah well, our houseguests are arriving this afternoon so we can't do a pre-Thanksgiving fast after all. We're going to have braised chicken. Picked up a pack of 12 thighs and deboned them. Roasted the bones, cracked each one, and those bones are now in the pressure cooker with some previously-made stock, red wine, onions, carrots and whatnot. They'll cook for an hour, then we'll strain to get a wine-y double-stock. The deboned thighs are brining away. When I get home from the airport, we'll braise the meat in the stock while I figure out a side dish. Something of carrots. Due to a shopping list miscommunication, we have 7 pounds of carrots in the refrigerator. Just a bit more than we actually planned. Let's see. According to my iPhone calorie counter app, I have 600 calories left that I can eat today. Got to stop nibbling if I want dinner.

"has to balance what's best for him and best for you. And sometimes they just aren't going to work. IMO, childs needs come first." See, this is interesting. I think what is so interesting and diverse about this forum (or even when talking to friends in RL) is that EVERYONE is going to have their own opinion; and that opinion is one we have formed based on our own experiences and perspectives. Nivea, you were treated in a really cruel and hurtful manner by your SM, correct? (or am I mixing you up with another poster?) I believe it was you. Anyway, naturally, you are more inclined to empathize and identify with the child (stepchild) and perhaps even project a bit of your own feelings; and that's normal, we ALL do that. Just as I am more likely to identify with someone like Ima or Lamom or Silver, someone who is a SM dealing with difficult situations. Anyway, I know what you mean about the child needing to come first; but I think you are saying this out of your own experiences, which included being emotionally hurt by your cruel and emotionally immature SM who insisted HER needs come first. Correct? That is awful that happened and it's sad that your father allowed you to be pushed aside. (And please correct me if I am mixing up your history with someone else.) Our situation is a little different in that DH had continually made the mistake of doing things to harm our marriage---all under the guise of "it's best for SS." But a lot of what he was doing wasn't even really best for SS. DH wanted me to smooth things over and be nice to BM, even after she attacked me in front of SS. Sure, it might be superficially easier for SS if everything seemed hunky-dory again. But in the long run, what lesson is that teaching him? That violence is acceptable? That it's okay for his mom to behave like that and I will just pretend that everything is okay? Those aren't lessons I want SS or DD learning. So sometimes what IS best for SS isn't necessarily what one might think at face value. Sure, it would be more *pleasant* for him in the short term, but in the long run, I think it does more harm than good. (I don't think this particular weekend issue is even really about anything being "best" for SS, though.) And one thing our marriage counselor has been helping both of us see is that sometimes what's best for the marriage has to come first. And I will say this with 100% conviction: it would NOT be in SS's best interest for DH and I to divorce. Not at all. That would be one of the worst things that could happen for both him and my DD. I may be "just a stepmother" to him but I have been a positive and caring person in his life for almost 7 years. He views my daughter as his sister. He genuinely loves our family and feels a TOTAL part of our family unit...because he is! We are not just some people he spends a few days a month with, he has two families and we are one of them! If that unit were to dissolve, it would honestly devastate SS. It would devastate my DD, as well, but I really think it would be worse on SS. He is very sensitive to these things, and he is the type of child that turns his upsets inward. I know if he were to lose his family, it would really impact him negatively in an emotional sense. So in marriage counseling, one thing DH is having to focus on is sorting out when SS's needs really DO come first, and when it's just BM manipulating "in the name of their son." Obviously, there are times that the child's needs have to come first---heck, that is 95% of parenting! But it is my belief that this is not one of those times. SS's mom is doing well and there is no reason he can't be with her.

Heidi, that white stuff is ugly!!!!! The difference in inches is ridiculous. I find the weather folks get everyone so worked up with their forecasts. Warm weather here today. Put the outdoor decorations up since tomorrow is calling for rain and high winds. Ugh.