Ah well, our houseguests are arriving this afternoon so we can't do a pre-Thanksgiving fast after all. We're going to have braised chicken. Picked up a pack of 12 thighs and deboned them. Roasted the bones, cracked each one, and those bones are now in the pressure cooker with some previously-made stock, red wine, onions, carrots and whatnot. They'll cook for an hour, then we'll strain to get a wine-y double-stock. The deboned thighs are brining away. When I get home from the airport, we'll braise the meat in the stock while I figure out a side dish. Something of carrots. Due to a shopping list miscommunication, we have 7 pounds of carrots in the refrigerator. Just a bit more than we actually planned. Let's see. According to my iPhone calorie counter app, I have 600 calories left that I can eat today. Got to stop nibbling if I want dinner.

Following the uphill with engine running ... and downhill with it not ... made it home without further incident. I'd had further trouble, in that the warning lights on the dash that turn on when one turns the key on but go off when the car starts ... had been staying one. And the engine was running much too fast when it was sitting, idling. On Monday morning, checked oil - O.K., down a little, added some. Checked coolant, down a little, added some. Had moved car from garage to by the house ... then it didn't want to start ... after sitting for about an hour, it did. Stopped at the end of the lane to get the mail, turned engine off - wouldn't start. Pushed it back up a slight rise in the lane, pushed it down to get started, but not enough speed to start. Let it sit for a half hour - wouldn't start. Called CAA ... they said it's be about 45 min, later auto meesage said about an hour, but the tow truck arrived in about 45 min., asked what was wrong, I said starter wouldn't turn engine over. He asked about tapping the starter with a hammer ... but couldn't find it, told me to try to start, I said he should, that I'd tried ... ... so he did ... and it started! After some colourful language on my part, I told him that I'd be O.K ... and took off immediately, before the engine heated. I thought after I was on the road that I should have asked him whether he'd come from the city, in which case he could follow me down the road that I was going on for about 6 mi., till I turned away from the city, about a half mile from the garage. More of the operating uphill, not downhill for about 5 miles, till engine began missing some as I was climbing an overpass over a freeway. So, over the top, I stopped at the side of the road for some recuperative/cooling time - though I hadn't seen the heat gauge rise high, but it rises slowly and I'd been running the engine in short bursts. Too impatient, I guess (not wanting to sit, doing nothing? maybe should have brought a book?) ... ... after 10 - 15 min., pushed it a bit, it started rolling down the hill, the engine started ... ... but it was still missing ... and after a few hundred feet of travel .. stopped, so I coasted to the side of the road. Within a mile of the garage, I walked there, they pushed the car in. It seems that the belt driving the alternator had broken, that produces electricity to replenish the battery's charge. Though it seems that the belts running the water pump, power steering pump, etc. were intact, for some reason the water pump wasn't working ... so, with very little water circulating through the radiator to cool it, the water in the motor heated rapidly. Power brakes and power steering were operating O.K. Fortunately, they'd replaced my battery last month, so I'd been running on that one battery charge for all of that time. If I'd known of the need, I could have recharged the battery Sat. overnight, at home. This library closes at 4, so no dice here on Monday, after the garage... and only the downtown London library opens on Monday ... but parking meters near it are rather expensive ... so sometimes I park half a mile away, then walk ... but didn't, yesterday. However ... I'd made a special call to son on Sat. night, saying that I had pizza ... and would bring it on Sunday ... ... but had forgotten, and had supper with son on Sunday. So I took the pizza in on Monday and we had pizza for supper; forgetful Dads can be something of a pain. I'd thought to go to the city library after, but went home instead. So - it looks as though things are back to normal. I'm thankful that, most of the time, when I'm in the car ... it's as full of hot air as necessary ... again! ole joyful

"has to balance what's best for him and best for you. And sometimes they just aren't going to work. IMO, childs needs come first." See, this is interesting. I think what is so interesting and diverse about this forum (or even when talking to friends in RL) is that EVERYONE is going to have their own opinion; and that opinion is one we have formed based on our own experiences and perspectives. Nivea, you were treated in a really cruel and hurtful manner by your SM, correct? (or am I mixing you up with another poster?) I believe it was you. Anyway, naturally, you are more inclined to empathize and identify with the child (stepchild) and perhaps even project a bit of your own feelings; and that's normal, we ALL do that. Just as I am more likely to identify with someone like Ima or Lamom or Silver, someone who is a SM dealing with difficult situations. Anyway, I know what you mean about the child needing to come first; but I think you are saying this out of your own experiences, which included being emotionally hurt by your cruel and emotionally immature SM who insisted HER needs come first. Correct? That is awful that happened and it's sad that your father allowed you to be pushed aside. (And please correct me if I am mixing up your history with someone else.) Our situation is a little different in that DH had continually made the mistake of doing things to harm our marriage---all under the guise of "it's best for SS." But a lot of what he was doing wasn't even really best for SS. DH wanted me to smooth things over and be nice to BM, even after she attacked me in front of SS. Sure, it might be superficially easier for SS if everything seemed hunky-dory again. But in the long run, what lesson is that teaching him? That violence is acceptable? That it's okay for his mom to behave like that and I will just pretend that everything is okay? Those aren't lessons I want SS or DD learning. So sometimes what IS best for SS isn't necessarily what one might think at face value. Sure, it would be more *pleasant* for him in the short term, but in the long run, I think it does more harm than good. (I don't think this particular weekend issue is even really about anything being "best" for SS, though.) And one thing our marriage counselor has been helping both of us see is that sometimes what's best for the marriage has to come first. And I will say this with 100% conviction: it would NOT be in SS's best interest for DH and I to divorce. Not at all. That would be one of the worst things that could happen for both him and my DD. I may be "just a stepmother" to him but I have been a positive and caring person in his life for almost 7 years. He views my daughter as his sister. He genuinely loves our family and feels a TOTAL part of our family unit...because he is! We are not just some people he spends a few days a month with, he has two families and we are one of them! If that unit were to dissolve, it would honestly devastate SS. It would devastate my DD, as well, but I really think it would be worse on SS. He is very sensitive to these things, and he is the type of child that turns his upsets inward. I know if he were to lose his family, it would really impact him negatively in an emotional sense. So in marriage counseling, one thing DH is having to focus on is sorting out when SS's needs really DO come first, and when it's just BM manipulating "in the name of their son." Obviously, there are times that the child's needs have to come first---heck, that is 95% of parenting! But it is my belief that this is not one of those times. SS's mom is doing well and there is no reason he can't be with her.

I was near deadline at the other library this afternoon. Haven't heard the result of the untrasound on the leg at haematology - they're trying to find whether they think that the clot originated there, or was generated in the lung, it seems. At an appointment today with the folks who did the injection of the foamy stuff into the near-surface vein in the leg to shrink it, just over a couple of weeks prior to the embolism, the doctor told son and me that, as an elective and non-essential procedure, that they'd do no more of them, just in case ... it seems that they deal with near-surface veins only (sort of like regular roads), that the deep veins in the legs are the main carriers (sort of like the freeway). The matter of the clotting could be life-threatening, and they do not want to take chances in that department ... so all that they can offer is compression. As I've been having trouble with the socks that I wash when I take them off at night not being fully dry in the rather chilly house by the second morning ... I ordered a third pair of knee-high pressure socks this morning. The doctor at that clinic has scheduled me for another ultrasound, as she wants to get a picture of what's going on in that leg. I'm to visit my regular doctor for (more or less) annual physical in a couple of weeks. So things seem to be going well. I've had no pain or discomfort since shortly after I left the emergency department of the hospital on the evening of the occurence: I'm a thankful patient. ole joyful