My husband worries enough for the two of us. I just strap on my seatbelt and fly by the seat of my pants!

I'm OCD enough I will sometimes check more than once....did I close and lock that window, or did I only think that I need to close and lock that window but didn't do it yet...

But once I'm gone, I'm good. I'm no longer anxious, and I don't worry coming home again.

My SIL and her husband are both bad (meaning careless), although it may be him more than her. Whenever they have left town (and that's frequently), one of us dash over to their house a few blocks away and lock doors, turn off the coffee maker, check the washing machine for washed wet clothes. Never fails, something is open, unlocked, or still on.

I'm something of a fatalist. Stuff happens, you pick yourself up and get on with it. I do double check things, like the oven is off, the iron is unplugged, and the door is locked, but also that I've remembered everything I'm supposed to take with me, calls have been made, devices charged, etc. Just try to be organized and check on myself. Then I can go away and forget everything, trusting those at home to take care of things. I never get anxious coming home. It's an interesting quirk you have, but really a lot better than being anxious the whole time you're gone!

Hm... I also had a really stable childhood. We didn't move house, and moves were rare in the greater family. I wonder if there's a reason from the past why you and your cousin would think the house wouldn't be there when you got home?

I have a checklist so I don't forget something before I leave and I don't worry that the house will still be standing when I get home. I figure if the house is gone, at least I have the necessities with me in my luggage. I did forget to turn off the kitchen lights once when we left while it was still dark to catch an early flight, but the only thing that caused was a higher than normal electric bill.

We don't worry, that's why we have home owners insurance. Only once did we call a friend cause DH left the Keurig on.

As Alfred E Neuman said, "What me worry?" I never check things, just go out the door without a care in the world. DH & DS are the ones with OCD that are always checking things, sometimes several times. We balance each other out.

I worry of course. I usually have house sitters and I have some great neighbors that watch the place and have my contact information. But I have cameras inside the house and around the property that I can view on my phone and tablet where ever I am. That helps tremendously. They can contact me if they detect motion and record the view. I can set it up how ever I want to call the police or whatever. Maybe you could benefit from something similar.

I have a Post-It note on the door from the house to the garage (the most used exit route) that says "Check". For daily life, it's a reminder to check that the burners and ovens are off. A few times something has been left on. The concern is that the last person leaving the house checks, to ensure the safety of our dog who stays in the house if she isn't coming with us. A few times we've driven back a few blocks when unsure if the check was done. For daily life, I don't probably give enough attention to locking doors and closing windows, both are often not done but our large dog is a light sleeper and has a loud and scary bark.

Once we leave, I don't give it a second thought. Many neighbors have alarm systems and i don't want to be bothered with having one. My possessions are all replaceable and that's what insurance is for.

When leaving for a trip, the dog is usually already at the boarding kennel but the departure involves more steps. Beyond the usual list of things to take that's done for each trip, I've been thinking of doing a "leave on vacation" checklist just to eliminate thinking.

I'm otherwise not all that organized.

For short trips where I will be returning in a few hours I am mildly OCD so I tend to double check that lights are out, the dog's water bowl is filled etc.

If I am leaving home not to return soon I have a checklist and a packing list. Once I hit the road I relax.

I also travel alone frequently so I do call DH to see that all is well and that he got home from work OK, the dog(s) is OK etc. He is more forgetful than I so mainly I am checking on him, reminding him of must do things. LOL

I don't worry about the house when I am away or when I'm on the way home. It's out of my control anyway. Why stress over things you cannot control?

I got a call one evening from my next door neighbor, he rarely calls me but we are friendly and chat in the yard. They were on their way to a concert at the Houston Rodeo and could not remember putting the garage door down. He wanted me to look and see. He had indeed put it down lol. He was very relieved and thanked me. I am always happy to help with those kinds of things.

When we had a dog we worried much more. The thought of him being trapped in the house during an emergency was sickening. Now that he is gone we make the basic safety check when leaving, but we're not as obsessive about it.

OH yeah, I got a call from a neighbor a while back too about the garage door. HA! It was down. Now he has cameras up and he can watch his house on his phone from anywhere.

I always get a few miles from the house and start to worry. The stupid thing is that I go over everything in the house before I leave but there's always that ONE THING that I forgot to check. URGH!

I never think/worry about such things coming or going, but DH often after just driving out of sight of our driveway will turn around and go back to make sure that the garage door is closed.

Sylvia, regarding your cousins call to make sure that you got home ok. Always when talking by phone to my Mom about an upcoming planned 400 mile trip to visit her, she would always say, "call me as you leave the house so I know when to start worrying".

Lindsey_CA- I've done that many a times. Now that my DH is retired, I just call him and have him check.

Since we heat with wood most of the time, yes, I worry. It's always a relief to drive down our long driveway and not see flashing lights or smoke. And once I started out and got about 20 miles from home before wondering if I had unplugged my curling iron. I worried so much that I turned around and came home. I had unplugged it but I didn't feel like driving out another 40 minutes again so I just decided to stay home. Better safe than sorry!

I worry like that. It started out as the coffee pot. I ditched that coffee pot and bought one that automatically turns off. Same for the curling iron. I worry about the house because of the pets. I have some good neighbors and we watch each others houses and have contact information.

I was looking through the photos on my phone a while back. There is a picture of their house. They had texted me about the garage door so I sent them a picture to help them through the anxiety. Lol!

Hm. I don't even check things. And I don't worry about things, most of the time. In my new house, I was worried about the pipes freezing in single digit weather last week (or was it the week before), pretty much all day, until I got home. I can worry, but typically don't.

We don't cook or iron in the morning, so we don't need to check those appliances, but if I use a curling iron I always unplug it and put in the drawer when I'm done, instead of leaving it on the counter. We also have our "remember spots"; whatever we need to get done, it goes there. This morning it was a charity letter I wanted to make certain I have on my taxes (I've already done them and am waiting for the backup forms to arrive). Or it might be a container I took soup home from my mom's that I need to return to her. We charge our phones overnight on our way to bed and grab them on the way out the door. Maybe that's why we don't worry, it's so routine, we don't forget things? Maybe.

cool to know how people "do"!

pillog, my cousin lived in one house until she married, & her 80-something sister still lives in it!

I lived in a few houses, but nothing like a military child or a pastor's child.

I hadn't thought of "why would I think the house won't be there?", but it's a possibility (for me but not my cousin).

Although the house was always there, no fires or tornadoes, I never knew what I'd be walking into when I came home from school.

If my mother was in a good mood, I could relax.

Otherwise, I had to go into my people-pleasing, conflict-avoiding mode.

side comment:

When other teen girls were dreaming of getting married to, say, Elvis or Paul McCartney, I dreamed of marrying...somebody...& becoming a part of a big family in which the mother loved me & had me sit on a tall stool at her kitchen work island, where we'd have long conversations & I would lick the bowls!

& I never wanted to stay home;

to this day, I love to get in the car & drive!

I have a checklist on what I want to get done before leaving the house for a few days or weeks. Usually I manage to do all. Then I ride/drive away. So far, so good, and all was just peachy when I got home. Including the nice warm home, when I got here on Sunday. I programmed my thermostat to heat up my house on Sundays. Can't do a specific Sunday, thus, two additional Sundays were warm here.

I do however have a Misses Gravits (like on Bewitched) across the street. She always knows what's happening in the neighborhood, and calls if she sees something suspicious. So far, I have always been lucky.

Like with the May 31 Tornado, nothing here. The electric off, while I was at Thanksgiving.. nothing happened here...

I really don't worry. Worrying just takes the fun out of your life, and doesn't fix anything.

:)

Moni

Something that none of you would consider happening. My friend came home to find one burner on her gas stove on. She knew the stove had not been turned on that day. When her cat jumped on the counter and picked her route off the counter it was accross the stove . Her paw went between the knobs for the burner and turned it to ignite. Lucky kitty did not get a singed tail. Now she pulls knobs off when leaving home.

A funny story about "worry". When DS was a teenager, had all the usual worries parents have. When he went off to his first concert with a friend driving, really double worry. When he came home, tells me he thinks his foot is broken. WHAT happened? A mounted policeman's horse stepped on his foot. Hard to cover everything when you worry.:)

We've forgotten to lock the front door and close the garage, prompting us to call a trusted neighbor to secure the house.

I always feel anxious on my return and I too am relieved not to find the house burned to the ground or emergency vehicles out front. I've been in two house fires though, so that's probably why I fear fires.

I worry more when leaving than when coming home. I have a bit of OCD in this department, but I know why. During my childhood and into my teen years I was given the responsibility of looking after my careless older brother who would leave the front/back doors wide open, keys in the door, stove/oven/iron on, knives teetering on the edge of the counter, refrigerator door left open, etc... We would both get into trouble, him for doing it and me for not doing my job. Thanks mom and dad lol. It was back then that I started to check everything a few times and it became a "habit". My brother is 60 and still careless, my poor SIL has had to deal with him for 37 years.

I worry because we have 2 dogs, so I'm extra careful to make sure things are unplugged or turned off, and the doors are all secure.

Funny, when we redid our kitchen, I really wanted a cooktop that had a light indicator so I could glance and see if a gas burner was still on.

So, yeah, I'm a bit ocd.

I don't worry like that, no, sorry! :) My sister worries about everything and I keep telling her that worrying is not going to change anything or solve anything but she says she can't stop. I'm glad I am not a worrier.

I always check appliances, etc, before leaving the house as years ago we were about 25 miles away going shopping when I remembered I didn't turn the iron off and called the neighbor with spare key location to go in and check. Sure enough, the iron was still on. That was way back when I ironed! :)

Many people have separation anxiety when *leaving* home. DH and I do. Home never seems nicer, cozier, or more comfortable than when you're about to leave it for a while.

When we go to Maui for a couple of months there are a lot of things to arrange. Our longtime dog- and house-sitter is now only 'sitting' the house. I was glad to be able to contact her this year when I'd forgotten to bring a checkbook. I know she'll check the mailbox and remove any telltale 'flyers' from the front door. know our driveway will have her car's tire tracks and that she'll tell me if the plow guy fails to show up. There will be lights on in the house. (When I get home the floors will not be ankle deep in dust bunnies.)

Coming home, I haven't worried about the house. I have wondered what changes there may have been in the neighborhood -- and if there is some news the family has decided to spare us until we get home.

I worry so much, many times we have turned around so I could check on what ever it is that is bothering me. DH is use to this!

Monitor your home with monitors.

You can add 1 or more portable monitors to your home that you can view from your tablet or cell phone.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00JAJ9U8K?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_search_detailpage

I try to check things before leaving, but once I'm gone ... what is done ... is done: doesn't accomplish a darn thing to worry about it (unless you can count on a neighbour to make things right, when notified).

Wouldn't think of worrying when I get near home on the return trip: what's been done ... has been done: all I can do is deal with the issue after my arrival, but no sense in worrying about whatever it may have been prior to the driveway hoving into view.

I'm not a big worrier.

ole joyful

I had a grandmother that tended to pull the "Oh did I remember to...?" about a mile from the house. One time I drove her all the way back there, to find of course that nothing was amiss. She thought I was just the greatest for indulging this.

I thought she should start trying to make some kind of organized effort to keep track or remember, instead of expecting to be pampered in this way. She was being driven in the first place because she never learned to drive herself, and then, apparently, hoping to be driven back to the house each time to check things over on top of it. It seemed to her way of thinking it just wasn't an option for her to stop doing this, and whoever was driving her each time would just have to put up with it.

I'm not impressed by "you bend over backwards so I have to do nothing". Can you tell?

I don't think I worry either way. I make a list before I leave on all thats needs to be done so that should help any worries. Then when getting home I may have another list of things I need to do.

After reading this post this morning, I remembered that I didn't unplug the espresso machine and was wondering whether my wife was still home so I could ask her to unplug it.

Then as I thought about it more I remembered I hadn't unplugged it because I was out of coffee and hadn't plugged it in in the first place.

I can not enjoy a trip away from home unless I do a walk through just before departing. I unplug a lot of things especially toasters, irons, microwave ovens, etc., and I set the gas water heater to 'pilot only' to prevent the main burner from firing up. That's one of the reasons I do not like to take a winter trip because I have to keep the furnace running to prevent freeze-ups, and then I worry: Its an old furnace; what if it fails to run; That could be an expensive mess. About 10 years ago, I did have a problem of the pilot light going out. It took me awhile to find the problem and it was very easy to fix - It was not the thermocouple.

I would never be able to own 2 homes unless I had a caretaker for the unoccupied one. I would worry about the empty one. Having experienced a house fire that was caused by bad wiring and a turned off small appliance, it's not enough for me for things to be "off". They have to be unplugged. Put away a hot curling iron? Neveh! LOL I set it elsewhere to cool off first.

What's funny is, I should probably worry more about burglars/home invasions than fire.

It's cool when it goes in the drawer.

In-laws were snow birds with 2 homes until recently. They always arranged for someone to check in on their homes while they were away.

It's a good gig in retirement communities!

It's a family weirdness.

Sue

embothrium, I sympathize!

I once had a "friend" who would call, wanting to go to lunch, wanting to go to the mall, didn't want to go by herself.

We were to meet at her house & go from there.

*Every* time, I'd arrive to find that:

her car was making a funny noise, could we take mine?

her foot problems were acting up, pressing the floor pedals would make it worse, could we take my car?

no gas & husband has the credit card, could we...?

Then, she never had money for lunch, would pay me back later (Ha!).

Then, oh, while we're out, can we make a quick stop to drop off her department store credit card payment?

& then the phone bill payment?
& then,...

Sylvia, I worry about oven on, etc. But have found that a little prayer as I leave and one as I return, cuts down on the anxiety. But I will tell you what happened once. Was going on a long trip so actually made a ck list. Was satisfied that I marked off everything and left with nary a concern. The night before the trip we had lit a fire in the FP, not a common occurrence, and accidentally left the FP doors open. A smoldering ember could have fallen out and onto a rug or nearby upholstered furniture. A month later when we returned we discovered our oversight and shuddered at thought of what could hv happened. Here I was, thinking my list sheltered me against mishaps, and yet I had a rather risky oversight....

lol...we've gotten into a set routine since the fast trip to see fil in snowbird Yuma, we left the front door open and (not visible thank God) and left the kids clothes in a basket....that was many years ago, lol...

but we know to bring stuff down the night before, (just the 2 of us now) take enough pillows for dd's lumpy sofa, or a motel room, and over pack, on clothes...(once I left nightgown out and it cost $$ for a new one) and double lock the door... don't usually unplug anything but the coffee pot...and we have been known to leave on a radio or tv...(another sort of no no)

now with an oversized motorhome (not MY choice) a lot of things we may have had to bring we don't...

I once left my toaster oven turned on all night. It'd didn't start a fire (or even break) but I guess I'm lucky. My son in law suggested I pull the plug after heating a meal in it. I worry about whether I've i locked the front door when I leave home, stuff like that. Kinda OCD.

Plugged in appliances suck power, if it's not something like a stove or a washer it should be unplugged when not in use anyway.

And even the big stuff is at risk from power fluctuations if not on a surge protector.

I worry about everything. When I worry about it is random. Sometimes right off the bat, sometimes later. I learned that anxiety is usually an inherited trait. So I was able to better understand myself after I learned this and able to help my children understand this inherited trait. Poor DH has had me call him many times to check if I turned my curling iron off or if I closed the garage door. I try to buy things that have an automatic shut off within a designated time to help relieve the anxiety.

I don't worry about short trips, like going to town. When I go away from more than a day, I do worry about my animals. I used to travel a lot by myself and my husband took care of my horses, etc. I told him to handle whatever he had to do.....don't call me and tell me something horrible happened when I am 1000 miles from home, unless it is imperative that I leave immediately and get home as quickly as possible.

i usually worry about 5-10 mins after i leave the house. i always think i left the hair straightener on. those get so hot!! i have turned around and called if someone was home to check it. that is my biggest worry!! never worry on the way home, by then if something happened, its too late or one of my neighbors would call me...

I once dated a firefighter/emt, & he lectured me on unplugging toasters, coffee makers, etc.

He'd seen a lot.

I did it on the way home last night. I have no idea now what I was worried about, but I suddenly remembered something that might be amiss at home as I was approaching it. And now, for the life of me, I cannot remember what it was, so it was pointless. I now have to agree that yes, I was more worried the closer I got and thrilled everything was fine when I drove up. Recanting my statement from before!