I am going through this grief right now and it is possibly the most painful heartache imaginable. My adult daughter has alienated herself from me over a difference of opinion on the subject of abortion. I was at one time very much into the prolife movement. But because I've grown and learned, I've changed positions. I support pro choice. My daughter, who has suffered multiple miscarriages, read a comment I made on a discussion about the subject and was offended. She refuses to speak to me. I am beyond heartbroken. I feel as if my daughter wants to control my thoughts. She posts things on social media that lead me to think they are deliberate attempts to twist the knife. So hurtful they are, and she never considers that worse than losing a pregnancy to miscarriage is the pain of having your own child reject you. I have also lost a pregnancy to miscarriage, so I know what that's like. I've also lost my husband, her dad, and that was at the time, the worst pain I'd ever experienced. But this! This child of mine has cost me a lot in terms of sacrifice. At a time when I could least afford it, because I was home from my job for medical reasons, my daughter needed help paying her rent. I committed to help her. She got engaged to a man and mom paid for the wedding. A few years went by and the marriage ended. She needed help again to pay her bills. By then, I was old enough to take early retirement. It was all I had to give. So I did. It cost me half of what I'd otherwise have been entitled to. And that's for the rest of my life. My daughter takes little responsibility for her own affairs. And yes, mom's fault for bailing her out over and over. Her sister got saddled with her cell phone bill. Her dog damages property because he's not properly housetrained, and that has cost her sister a lot of money. My daughter owns 3 cars, two of them are high dollar cars. Her payments for those, she doesn't skip. But it's okay to let everyone else pay for her bills. And she says I lie when I say I love her,

I wonder if my name should be Pragmatist or Semanticist rather than Palimpsest. When I am trying to get a feel for what a client wants I literally ask things like "What color cabinets do you like?" "Plain doors or lots of trim?" "Shiny countertops or matte?" All the design shows have pushed the need for a "catch phrase" or a "theme" and I think this actually creates confusion. This is why pictures of what you like are so helpful. I know a woman who was "shopping" for a designer who said "I love French antiques" and nobody is showing me what I am looking for!" So, she was shown more French antiques and got really angry and frustrated. Finally she was told "You know what? Find a picture of what it is you are thinking then!" She didnt like French antiques at all...she liked English Regency and she just thought it was French. So even when there is a real historic style (as opposed to the American coined "Old World" which conjures a general, rather non specific feeling)--there can be confusion.

I hope your brother is prepared for what he is getting into! I don't think it would matter if she told them she was cutting them off or he did they'll most likely still blame him since they are getting married and now they loose the support. Can he ever have a relationship with the kids. I'd say a lot of that depends on their personalities and expectations. There are way to many variables to give a pat answer. Two are adults, so if they can like your brother as a friend I'd say that would be pretty nice. A ten year old could definitely bond with him as Dad. If their Dad was abusive it is hard to say what kind of relationships or coping skills her children have in life, sounds like they had a pretty rough go of it. Counseling sounds like it would be a possitive thing for anyone willing to go. My Dad remarried after my mom was deceased two years. I didn't have a problem with that,however an older step sister had a very difficult time with the marriage, and still doesn't have a good relationship with my Dad. Some of that is the personality of the two of them though. The youngest of all was in third grade, she bonded to my Dad in a way the other two did not. I love my step mom, but she still isn't "mommy". They have been married 31 years. I have older sibs that were out of the home when the remarriage took place and they are friends with the steps, but don't look at them as parents.

Going with DH to the doc this morning and inspired by this thread, I decided to step up my outfit game. I have a cream colored merino wool knit jacket. It wears like a sweater but looks more polished, like a jacket. I last wore it before the lockdown. I had it cleaned and put it away. This morning, when I got it out, I noticed one of the buttons was broken in half and a stain that the cleaners failed to totallly remove has oxidized front and center! I can’t decide whether to see if I can find the replacement button that I’m sure came with it and wash it to remove the stain, or just give it away! I’m so bummed.