How Old Are/Were Your Parents?....
10 years ago
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How old were your Teens when they stopped using your pool?
Comments (2)Dave - I didn't see you re-post on the discussion forum so I'll answer it here. Many of my friends have pools and I grew up with a pool. It appears that kids lose interest around junior high/high school age when socializing with their peers is more important to them. I know kids who have friends over often tend to use the pool more--just like I did when I was a teenager. My next door neighbor's kid is 13 and he rarely swims/play in the pool unless he has friends over--and they had the pool done just a year ago! You're definitely getting your monies worth since your kids are still young. We are almost done with our pool and our two boys ages 3 and 7 are so excited. So when your kids get to that age, have their friends over, take away the video games, turn off the air conditioning, I'm sure they'll love the pool. LOL...See MoreSort of a follow up to "How old were your parents?"
Comments (10)Frustrating, yes, but can we revisit the *expense*? My beautician's mother has mild dementia. She is still self sufficient -- able to bathe herself, dress, eat and drink, etc. -- and is on mild medication, BUT...but she requires constant monitoring. She could live another twenty years. Care in a nice place costs $60K a year....See MoreHow Old Were You When Your First Child Was Born?
Comments (86)My husband's mother had grown children....maybe even a grandchild or two, when she married his father, who had grandchildren...probably even great grandchildren, and after they got married, they had six children in six years. She was 38 when he was born....four more after him, and his dad was 68, and 72 when his last was born. The baby had spina bifida and died shortly after birth, and his mother died from breast cancer a couple of years later. I was almost 34....had no trouble getting pregnant and no morning sickness or complications during pregnancy and only gained 25 lb. Had a c section and was in the hospital for five days, and lost all but 7 when I got out. My mother, who was 42, also said she never had any nausea or other problems. My mother was 42 but probably looked older. She was thin and had premature gray hair. After I was born, in a Catholic hospital, by the way, she didn't see me for several hours. One of the sisters came into her room, which was a room with 4 beds, and said, "Have any of you had a baby and not seen it?" My mother said, "I haven't seen mine." The sister said, "Hmph!! No old woman like you has had a baby!" My mother said, "Well, I guess I ought to know if I had a baby or not!" I am quite sure my father was there, and he was a very over bearing type of person, and I can just imagine smoke coming out of his ears, because shortly, the mother superior came running into the room....my mother said her rosary or whatever she had hanging on her outfit (sorry, not Catholic...I don't know) "just a'jangling". She said, "Yes that is Mrs. Stout's baby.....give it to her right now!!"...See MoreParenting bias- were you harder/stricter/ more judgmental of the oldes
Comments (33)The therapist was making the correct ethical decision not to see siblings. Referrals would be appropriate and helpful. I work in mental health and have some insights that may be beneficial. Since I see your DD through your eyes only, I will speak in generalities. The transition to middle school is a stressful time for most kids and it's difficult to separate normal childhood behaviors from pathological ones. Some children are just hard-wired to be more anxious while others are more relaxed and able to take things in stride. Your DD may have perfectionist tendencies that cause distress when she is not able to meet her self-imposed high standards. When stuff happens, we have a choice to be empowered or victimized. For example, if she dances and falls on stage, she can make the fear-filled choice to never dance again. Or she can choose empowerment, recognize that the event is not part of her, it's outside of her, something that happened, but now it's over. And the show must go on! Naturally, this is easier said than done. Empowerment is a choice--even though she may not know HOW to get past the fall, she must choose to move on by taking active steps to recover--surrounding herself by supportive people (" That must have been scary and you were so brave to get up and save the show!") , developing an inner strength based on positive self-perception ("I fell, but I got up!") and refusing to let the fall define her (Hey, I went on to win DWTS!) A victim will relinquish all her power to the fall, ruminate, start to feel helpless and may even get reinforcement from pity or concern from others. This can create a dangerous cycle as it provides an unhealthy form of attention. Hypothetically, even if your DD chooses not to dance again, don't pressure her. Hopefully, she will realize that her fear is keeping her from having fun, being the center of attention or keeping her from something she really wants to do. She will need to come to that realization on her own and this will build her self-esteem. Be aware of your own choice of reactions—your child is watching your every move. Even if she’s not a direct witness, she’s picking up on your emotional response. Try to model behavior that sends empowering messages and helps her develop a wider emotional vocabulary. Make your home a "soft spot" for her to land. Continue your discussions, mainly keeping your ears open and mouth closed. Do reflective listening and challenge her negative thinking patterns. Most importantly, let her know she can always count on you for love and support....See More- 10 years ago
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