What do you mean by "retirement home"? There are a great range of housing options for seniors. There are age-restricted apartment/condo housing complexes that have no or very limited services available, perhaps just some social events in the recreation area. There are complexes with more services, such as transportation. When you get to the complexes that include meals, the price goes up substantially.

Then there are assisted living facilities for people who need help with daily activities of living like bathing or dressing or medication management. In my area, small group homes that offer this level of service will cost $3K to $4K a month. Then you have skilled nursing facilities, at $7K a month and up.

Great question, can't wait to see the answers.

Me too. Interested in hearing/learning about all the different types. The only thing I've constantly heard is that they are all pricey.

I am interested in this too. We are thinking about a gated community for active seniors, in a warmer climate such as Georgia or Florida.

Your living situation sounds very appealing, Marie. My DM lived in a similar residence and it was very comfortable for her, and secure for us knowing that she lived in this sheltered way. It was a bit pricey, but worth the $. For me, being a foodie, having good meals would be a plus.

My father lived in a 'complete care community' in the Phoenix area. He had a one bedroom apartment with a small balcony. The rent was reasonable (for him) and the evening meal was included in the rent. He liked it because there were more women than men; for a person in his mid-80s, that was good.

For security, there was a person who made rounds at night to make sure that apartment doors were locked. While at each door, the security person lifted up a small metal disc. When the door was opened, then the disc would fall back; when security made their rounds mid-morning, if the disc had not moved, then a knock on the door was appropriate. If no answer, then the folks in the front office would call. My dad thought that was good. He did have a home health person come in weekly to help him with his meds.

There was also a place within the structure that was for those folks who needed some care with their 'activities of daily living' (ADLs) such as showering or getting dressed or even making the bed safely.

The next step was into the nursing care portion of the facility for those who needed more assistance with their ADLs. These were included in the rent.

Words: dad had been retired for many years, so he did not think of the place as a retirement home, but a different home from where he had been living. It wasn't a nursing home only, nor was it assisted living only. It was home.

There was a nice chapel on-site, as well as a library, small branch bank, a sundry store and a place where one could buy furniture (usually donated by family members after their loved one died). There were folks who worked on jigsaw puzzles and those who played cards on a regular basis. The big social thing was the evening meal. Wait staff would take your order and serve the entire meal, or one could work through the salad bar while waiting for the main course.

He liked it there and he died there. The staff was very accommodating with the missus and me as we worked on closing out that part of our lives. At that point, my mother, sister and brother had all died.

If a person is considering moving into a facility like that, ask to speak with board members or just talk with someone who might be sitting in the lobby area. Most of the folks are more than willing to unburden themselves of complaints, but they usually talk about the good things, too.

My in-laws are fortunate to live in gated adult communities in NJ and FL. Now, just FL, actually.

What I love about their homes is the 1-story, open floor plan. Larger bathrooms and doorway openings help give space for more safely carrying things and mobility devices.

My mom lived in a Senior facility, and had an independent living apartment. The pros were inclusion of dinner, on-site services, lots of activities and a safety net of care in case of emergency.

The downside for Mom was she couldn't stand most of the residents!

My parents are 81 and 83 and still live in their own home, which has a huge beautiful garden. Their lot sits at the foot of a mountain. They thought about selling and moving to not a retirement "home", but a house that works like a condo: you don't do any of the yard work. They would be downsizing a lot. They have a 3 level split, 3 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms, living room, family room, kitchen with nook and dining room. Too much room for 2 seniors. Mom was really looking forward to it. Until a family friend asked mom this question: What would your husband do with his time if you sold your house and bought the seniors house instead? Mom replied: he would die. Why? He does the gardening and yard work. He loves to do that. Dad is very ADHD. He never sits still and working in the garden pruning trees, mowing the lawn, planting and picking flowers, etc., is his life. If they moved to a seniors community where you don't touch the yard, dad would sit in his chair, watching tv all day and would die. So they're keeping their home. My parents are extremely healthy. Dad is on 0 medication and mom takes 5mg a day of Crestor, which I think she could dump because science is now proving high cholesterol doesn't cause heart disease. But she's 81 and I can't convince her. :) I think living in a retirment home, or community would benefit a lot of people. But for my parents right now, it would be the worst thing for them. They are both very healthy and active.

DH and I are considering an over 55 community when he retires in a year or two...probably in the Carolinas or Florida. We may spend a few winters in a few places first to see where we want to be....right now we have no clue. Once we sell our house, there will be no getting back into this pricey area, so we want to be sure before we take the leap. It's such a big and hard decision, moving away from children and grandchildren, but we live in a major metro area and are tired of the traffic and the enormous increase in population over the last 30 years. Our retirement income will go further in a less expensive area and we are both ready for one-level living.

My parents retired to an over 55 community in Vegas in the late 80's and loved it. There were so many activities available. As they became ill, they had a woman who would come everyday from about noon to 7. She prepared lunch and dinner, took them to the doctor, ran errands for them like the grocery store and light cleaning. It was a lot less expensive than assisted living or a nursing home and they were happy to remain in their home.

What a well thought-out answer, Jim. I'm so sorry to hear you lost ALL those immediate family members in such a short time--that must have been devastating.

I used to visit my mother's friend as she moved from one assisted living place to another, as her income and savings decreased. Most of them had kind employees but some of the food was really bad and there were not always enough people on duty, especially at night. She chose not to participate in activities, to her detriment.

I live in a Retirement Community. Here there are Villas, Duplexes. Apartments, and Assisted Living. I have a 2 bedroom Villa with a garage, in the Independent Area.

The main difference here is that it doesn't look like an institution. Actually it is smallish, with trees and green grass everywhere; flower beds and even small gardens. The atmosphere is "homey." Of course there are the usual activities you would expect Like BINGO!, and local groups come to sing, play, and entertain. Plus interest groups like Bridge, Dominos, Canasta, Movies, Exercise, etc. and Wii Bowling. I don't know of a similar community, but there should be others.

I wish I could show you pictures, but I haven't figured out how to do that, the Houzz way, since mine are on Photobucket.

I just can't afford the prices of retirement homes etc. I was pretty particular when shopping for an apt. The one I chose fit the bill. Criteria was...gated community..washer/dryer...ground floor...patio...lots of windows...big closet..allow pets. I got all of the above. My apt complex is small...is a group of many 4 plexes..I have a bit of a yard and am encouraged to do any gardening I want. I have a jacuzzi tub..a wood burning fireplace too. They have pet stations throughout the grounds..that have poo bags available and bins to drop them in. There is also security patrols. Plus...being 4 plexes no upstair neighbors! All apts are ground floor. I can afford it..and if in the future I need help..I can apply for home care..which can be cleaning/nursing/ and meals on wheels. Right now I don't qualify for those. All this for less than 1/4 the cost of any retirement community here.

When a friend of mine was looking for an assisted living facility to move into, she and I went to several in Virginia and Maryland. Each place had a different personality. One stood out in my mind because you had to be dressed up to go into the dining room. The coordinator was trying to explain the level of dressiness, and I flat-out asked her: would the clothing I have on right now be acceptable for the dining room (khaki slacks and a woman's polo shirt)? She said no. Yikes, not the place for me!

Amazing Aunt Audrey......your place sounds perfect!

Sue, on photobucket, where you used to use the HTML code to post pictures, are also other codes, including "email and IM" code. That is the code you use to put a link here.

Moni

Moni, Thanks for the info. Now I am having a problem finding my pics in Photobucket. They don't seem to be where they used to be. (I haven't been there for a while.) I tried the "email and IM" code with a pic of something else, at the Test site and it worked. Now I need to find the pics I'm looking for. Ugh!

My grandfather lived in a full service development,
Brooksby, Peabody mass. Very nice
place. It is an aging in place facility,
so you are independent when you move in, then as you need more services, they
are available. There are all the amenities
you could ever want. It is fancier than I would want, but it is beautiful place, lovely people. Here is the
website https://www.ericksonliving.com/brooksby-village/welcome-brooksby-village-retirement-community

My folks, who are mid 70’s, just bought a seasonal site at
Traverlers Rest RV park in Dade City.
They cater to the winter crowd. My
folks drive their RV down in December and stay thru April. http://www.travelersrestresort.com/

It is a really big place, lots of people from all over the US
and Canada. There are activities and clubs for anything
you like. (from quiliting to small engine
repair to singing and dance) There are
also on going classes as well as weekly entertainment and gatherings. The church is very well attended often
pulling in 300 members. Now for
those that don’t have an RV, there are park models or single/double wides that
can be purchased. Last year there was a
single wide for sale, furnished for $25,000+ the $3000 seasonal fee
annually. That is a great deal. Then all you have to do is drive down. You could maintain one place for the winter,
then another for the summer in a different state! Also, no property/school taxes, no property maintenance
(lawn mowing)….it would be an interesting alternative to owning/maintaining
property.

Would it be possible for any of these happy residents to give names and addresses of their wonderful institutions? Thank you.

let me clue you...nursing homes don't come cheap! until we got fil on Medicaid and spent every dime he had, we were getting bills upward of 7grand..yup 7 grand...now with Medicaid, more is covered but I think dh said his pension check/ss goes straight to them (about 2 grand) he's 93, and although wheel chair bound does get in out of his room on his own, when he "feels" like it...

My MIL lived in another facility run by Erickison ( same as Brooksby Vil. where Lambsears GF lived) It was very nice and the level of services and care were very good. She lived independently for many years and then moved to assisted living and was there until she passed on. They took very good care of her and hospice came in at the end. We were very happy with it.

Be careful. Look beyond the flowers and plush carpeting. Know exactly what kind of 'home' you are investing in.

This is a growth industry, with different conglomerates running for-profit homes of all types, all over the country. People are living longer, and the incoming tide of Boomers represent a huge opportunity for these businesses.

The field is growing so fast that there is little actual regulation. Many places are virtually UNregulated beyond a municipality's zoning and safety rules. Even within health-care facilities, there may be laws on the books, but public health departments seldom have staff to inspect homes -- and the few residents with 'complaints' are easily dismissed as coming from 'crotchety old people'. (Consider the risk a resident takes TO complain.)

There are mergers, and facilities change hands. The wonderful experience place Grandpa lived has probably changed hands and will continue to do so.

Medicare has made an attempt to provide information about eldercare. Look it up.

(Lambsear3 wrote about 'tax-free' areas. Without a tax base, what kind of police, fire, public health and safety can you expect? Unfunded schools = Uneducated community.)

I put my failing mother in what was depicted by a local hospital worker as one of two of the better nursing facilities in the area (the other is operated by a Christian charity and had no vacancies at the time). It cost about $15,000 per month*, the bills from there in combination with her trips in and out of local hospitals added up to about $130,000 for a couple of months - according to the statement I got from Medicare - which thankfully paid for pretty much all of it.

The for profit care facility claimed to offer the same level of care as a hospital but didn't at all. Not only did they not have nearly the same variety and sophistication of physical equipment but the personnel was nothing like a hospital provides either. In fact during one of her crisis episodes leading to a hospital trip the attendant on duty sent her to the wrong hospital. This was actually a fortunate accident as it was better than the crappy county hospital she had been going to.

*We are not talking about somebody on constant life support here, she was a stroke victim who could often converse and comprehend, was just sitting there propped up in the bed much of the time.