Hi Mark I enjoyed your website very much, thanks for sharing, got tickled on plants that are making it and some hope. ha I have pacific pearl and playful. Pacific pearl is just starting to leaf out, hope for a bloom this summer, bloomed last year, playful also. Playful in the ground is just starting to leaf out, very slow. Am excited too have second year plants, hope for blooms this summer. You and your wife look so happy, great pictures. Karen B.

Thanks Marie. I am in therapy and go each week. I think you're right in that he is scared he's going to lose me too. My therapist has suggested that when I do speak to him to see if he will get help since this is so overwhelming for him. Thanks for your reply.

Its easy for people to say run and get out of this relationship, but if you're truly in love with him, it's not an easy thing to do. I'm sure you already know that. I think you have to do a few things. First, if you can't accept that he has a child and you're not "his first", then move on because it is what it is and it's not going to change. There is a child involved and it's not fair if you go into this relationship with some bitterness that could affect this child later on. If you are truly in love with this man and can't live without him, then accept that he has a child, accept that you need to be a loving stepmom to this child and have a heart to heart sit down with your fiance to let him know that and most of all, that there can be no more lying/deception. I'm not making excuses for his lying at all, but it's possible that he knew how you would react and how you want to be his first and that's why he was embarrassed and scared to say anything. If you let him know that you're supportive of the fact that he now has a child, hopefully he'll be more forthcoming in the future. If not, move on. And I'd also wait a while if you do get married, before having a child. Wait and see how he does with being a father to this other child before you put another child into the picture. If he's not a loving, supportive father to his first child, do you really want him to father your child? I would think not. Bottom line, you can't re-write history, accept the current situation or move on. Good luck to you, I wish you the best.

bnicebkind Please read my posting carefully and dont misunderstand or assume things. I did write that it is the husband that should tell her. Her 'business' is limited as well. What she does in her house is her business and what i do in mine is mine. In most situations, the biomom is jealous of the relationship adn has left over emotional baggage that has not been dealt with. I'm a very understanding person and please dont tell me to take the high road. I've given millions of chances to my husbands exwife and all i've become is an escape goat to everythign when seh doesn't get her way. And no she doesn't think of her kids. She doesn't even appreciate on how well i treat them help them in homework and i'm always considerate of her and never talk bad. But all i get to hear is how the kids love me and how she hates me for that. I understand but i am the one being the big person here. Not the biomom. Considering she is also a druggie i dont think highly of her either but i never say anything bad of her in front of the kids. She is the one who is controlling and to the point where she will damage her kids in the process without a second thought. You do not know my situation and Like i wrote before. Please read carefully. If you did , you would know i am married already. and havea child of my own. My eyes are very wide open and have been since young. I've lost my mom to cancer at the age of 11 years old. Have had two stepmoms. So i have much experience and knowledge. Plus not everyoen is understanding or kind. Take that into consideration for your thoughts. People who are jealous dont give a hoot about anything but themselves and this is waht this biomom is. If cookie is worried that the ex is going to snap then there is obvious reason to worry. Its biomoms business to know who will be involved with her kids. But beyond that, especially if she is purposely sabotaging relationships, it is NONE of her business. If she wants to know something she may ask her husband but chances are when the tables are reversed and her exhusband asks her, she will tell him its none of her businesses. You see, people like this, are not understanding. Therefore there is not much you can do. It would be great to all get along in this world. But its reality here. Not a dream.