Advice on retirement gift

10 years ago

last modified: 10 years ago

Here's me, the worst gift giver, needing some advice. A friend of mine invited me to a small dinner after Christmas to meet some of her family who are travelling from out of state. While they are here, they want to celebrate her mom's retirement. I would like to purchase a small gift to celebrate her retirement in some way.

Now I know nothing about this woman. I know she worked at WalMart and her retirement was kind of "forced". She needed a stool or chair to periodically rest in and they would not provide her one, which is one of the reason she "retired". I think there are some general health issues overall. She is in her mid 70s and not as active as some of the folks here.

Jewelry (like a watch) is too personal and I don't know her taste. I could bake something but, while appreciated, it's probably not the best thing for her. I'm kind of stumped on ideas, because I'm the WORST at gift ideas! Can you all toss some ideas my way? Keep in mind she lives 8+ hours away so I'm limited to what I can buy locally.

I will be going to an antique mall this week and will try to find something interesting for her.

Featured Answer

Sue_va

10 years ago

The invitation to the dinner came from your friend. I would tell her that you would like to get a small gift for her mom and you would like to know what her interests are. Avoid the guessing game.

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Comments (35)

OklaMoni
10 years ago
I would love a gift card to a full service car wash.

Moni
dees_1
Original Author
10 years ago
Moni, that's a great idea but she lives 8+ hours away so I can't really get her a gift certificate for anything that's local to her. I thought about something to pamper her (mani/pedi) but she'll only be visiting for a couple days and is not likely to do that while visiting.
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OklaMoni
10 years ago
google her home town. Call a place. Ask if you can buy one via your credit car, and have it mailed to her. Then give her a chamois or an ice scraper as her gift... and the rest will reveal it self when she gets home. :)
rob333 (zone 7b)
10 years ago
You're so kind to think of her! Any gift from someone caring makes them a GREAT gift giver. How about a "pamper yourself" gift basket, because I see retirement as a time to focus on yourself? No more work, clients', bosses', or coworkers' needs to tend to. I gave my mom something like this when she retired. It had magazines she loved but didn't typically get to read, bonbons to nibble while kicking back, slippers to loaf around in, etc. You the idea. Silly suggestion, but maybe it'll prompt someone else to come up with better!
gadgets
10 years ago
Maybe my favorite gift from when I retired wouldn't work for you, but I got it when I retired in 2004, it still shares my computer space. It's a small bear, posed in a relaxing position, that has "Life starts at retirement" on it. For some reason, it just touched me in a very positive mode.

Shirley
User
10 years ago
Does she have Starbucks in her town? I'd give her a token, $5, $10, $15 Starbucks card so she can go out and a have few cups of coffee to enjoy in her retirement.
chisue
10 years ago
I agree on a small gift card -- to a chain that has a store where you are and in her hometown. Enclose it in a Happy Retirement card and you're done! She can 'treat' family while she is visiting or take it home; no lugging anything home.
eld6161
10 years ago
last modified: 10 years ago
I agree with Sue. Why does everything have to be a surprise or unexpected?
dees_1
Original Author
10 years ago
Good suggestions everyone! Keep them coming! I am thinking along the lines of a pamper basket or a small memento to give her a good feeling about the new direction.

Her trip AND her retirement are rather unexpected so I thought an unexpected nice thing would be a welcome gesture. I know my friend well enough that if I asked her mom's interest, she'd anticipate my gesture and maybe derail the direction....while I certainly can appreciate "things that are needed", to me, retirement is something of a celebration. The dinner is a combination of meeting my friend's out of town family and celebrating her mom's retirement.
party_music50
10 years ago
I'd bring her a big bottle of wine or bubbly. I'd love a magnum of Asti Spumante for a party!
littlebug zone 5 Missouri
10 years ago
While some might appreciate a bottle of spirits (no offense, party_music), I wouldn't. I'm not a drinker. No real reason; I just don't care for it. I'd be sure to doublecheck with your friend before I'd bring liquor.
Olychick
10 years ago
Maybe find out if she likes to read and gift her with a book. Or even if she doesn't read much, a book about what to do now that you're retired...this is one of many - scroll down and you'll see more:
Fun books about retirement

You can probably find them locally, or have your book store order for you.
Lindsey_CA
10 years ago
"I know my friend well enough that if I asked her mom's interest, she'd anticipate my gesture and maybe derail the direction."

To avoid the derail, you'll need to be a bit "indirect" in your questioning. Do you think she'd catch on if you said something like, "Although your mother wasn't planning on retiring now, at least this Spring she'll be able to spend more time working in her garden." If your friend's mother is into gardening, she would respond in some way to agree with you, and then you could get her a gift that has to do with gardening. If she's not, your friend might say something about her mom not being the gardening type or not having a garden.

You could say something like, "Although your mother wasn't planning on retiring now, at least she'll have more time to spend reading her favorite books." If you get an agreeable response, you could get her mother an Amazon gift card, or a Barnes & Noble gift card.

And so on...
plllog
10 years ago
I agree with Lindsey. Some other indirects include a simple, "So what's your mom planning to do when she's not working anymore?" The answer could clue you in about gardening, travel, cooking, etc. Another tack would be to ask her advice -- since you're self declared as being a poor gift chooser -- about getting a small Christmas gift for an older woman whom you don't know very well. If she asks what the woman is like, you can say you don't know and ask, "Well, what would your mom like?"

Some things that a majority of women generally like: A clever coin purse or tissue holder or other purse accessory. A lovely scarf that's big enough that it doesn't need to be tied or pinned. A bud vase or (decorative) perfume bottle.

How about a game? A stacking game might help with balance and dexterity (there's a clever one with a deer head and antlers at Uncommon Goods (who have lots of clever things), but it's a bit pricy). This chairs stacker is only $10. I've gotten several Swingy Things to give this year, and one for myself (though I haven't played with it yet). How about one of the adult coloring books people here like? With a packet of pens. Or a Zentangle book (there are many. I've just linked one I've been giving to a few friends), art tiles and pens?
party_music50
10 years ago
littlebug, why just point out that you wouldn't want or like "liquor"? Has there been nothing else suggested here that you wouldn't like?!

Somehow I just knew there would be a complaint about my suggestion. I think I'm in the wrong place. lol!
dees_1
Original Author
10 years ago
You are all so creative! I was thinking of a nice bottle of champagne or Prosecco for with dinner (but have to check with the restaurant first). I know there will be some (read ME and my friend!) at the table who would enjoy it but again, I don't know her preferences (thanks for the reminder littlebug!). Not sure if she likes coffee, if she enjoys reading (how can you NOT?) and I thought about those coloring books (reading another thread; may be hitting Big Lots to see if I can find those goodies). Olychick, I love those book suggestions (and will hang on to those links); they are great! Lindsey, thanks for the direction; my friend is swinging by my house tomorrow so I will employ those methods! Plllog....those are all really good ideas! I may look for something vintage on Friday. I really like the Zentangle idea. I will use Lindsey's discussion tactics and see if her mom likes drawing!

Thanks everyone! Keep posting suggestions as they are all welcome! I'm filing these all away for future reference....you all are so much more creative than I!
linda_in_iowa
10 years ago
Being retired, I have downsized and given away lots of unneeded things to charity. I would not want to receive anything that I had to find a place for or would have to dust. I would stick with a gift card to Amazon or Starbucks.
joaniepoanie
10 years ago
There is a gift card called Spa Finder. You can use it at spas across the country. Just go to their website and see if there are any participating spas in her hometown.
joaniepoanie
10 years ago
ETA....you can purchase them at grocery stores, etc.
littlebug zone 5 Missouri
10 years ago
Holy cow! I'm sorry I responded.

(Not everyone drinks liquor/wine/spirits, you know. Sometimes for good reason.)
rob333 (zone 7b)
10 years ago
stepping lightly: party... what if she's a recovering alcoholic? is the wary thought I had. Sorry! I personally would love sparkling wine, so send it my way and I'll be hap hap happy!
skibby (zone 4 Vermont)
10 years ago
Fresh flowers make a good gift. And if you don't care for them, they don't last long enough to stress over.
graywings123
10 years ago
A gift to a stranger - which is what your friend's mother is to you, essentially - need only be a small gesture. Gift cards are great in certain situations, but I don't feel it's quite the right thing for this occasion.

How about something simple like a fancy flower corsage that you give to her at the restaurant or wherever the party is going to be held to wear during the party?
katlan
10 years ago
A gift card, bottle of wine, assortment of teas, writing paper/note pad, crossword puzzles, small houseplant, movie theatre tickets (if she has someone to go with her, then again, maybe she's the type that would go by herself, kudos to her if she is), some kind of light reading, a pretty wallet, a lovely pen.......
marie_ndcal
10 years ago
I would just give a card and not worry, or put a small denomination bill such as a $5.00 or $10.00. I have done that and it was most appreciated by the person.
Amazing Aunt Audrey
10 years ago
I'm kinda with graywings on this one. You don't even know this person. The original thought behind the housewarming gift was a loaf of bread. In this country we have just blown it up way out of proportion. In most countries a bottle of wine and a loaf of bread are still the norm for a situation like this.
susanjf_gw
10 years ago
with my warped sense of humor a gift card from a competing store to wm....and is she driving or flying to town? you have to take into consideration what you give has to get back home...think marie's suggestion of cash is perfect...have fun and get $2 bills from the bank...
dees_1
Original Author
10 years ago
Chatted with my friend. "Stuff" is out of the question as mom is trying to sell the house. Gift certificate is the way to go. Spafinder doesn't have salons in a reasonable distance. Flowers are out....cupcakes are in.

Susanjf, that was my first thought too! Target!!! Lol! I'll stick with a card and some cash.
wildchild2x2
10 years ago
Some of us don't do spas. I certainly don't. If I was a spa person I would already have my favorite one I trusted. Like hair. You wouldn't send someone to a different hair salon from their usual. A lot of people don't like heavy scents these days and not everyone drinks wine or even runs in circles with friends that do.

I vote for the generic gift card in this case. Amazon is my first choice since it could be used not just for stuff but digital downloads to Kindles and such.
rob333 (zone 7b)
10 years ago
sounds like you've found the area where you feel most comfortable dees! Awesome. And she'll get to be with you, that's present enough
kathleen44
10 years ago
Yes, gift cards if you can phone and pay for it over the phone for her, yes, washing car is good but so is going out for nice meal and include so she can have someone with her. Or fix up a nice basket for her, ask your friend her likes to put in the basket for her to relax and enjoy, things to read or does she like a hobby? kathy
Marilyn Sue
10 years ago
Since you don't know her that well, do something simple, for me it would just be a card and a dozen of my homegrown fresh eggs.

Sue
dees_1
Original Author
10 years ago
I finally decided on a Kohl's gift card. Thanks for all your input!!!
debo_2006
10 years ago
Well, I'm late to the party, but, I think a retirement card with a book or two of Forever stamps.

Advice on retirement gift

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