No you are not. This is just one of those things that fall between the cracks. It is ridiculous how young people do everything through social media. But, it's the way of the world for the younger generation. We oldsters get swept up along in the fray.

That said, make your amends and do your holiday dinner. Do they live close by? Would you consider joining them for dessert if you can time it right? Do you feel more than content to stay home this year, or are you actually disappointed that you and your Dad will not be celebrating with a crowd?

Ellen, they live a good 1/2 hour away. Not far but if you want to have a drink or two, it is too far for me. And not disappointed at all. Last year the dinner was Italian sausage, great summer BBQ food, and a meatless pasta bake but not Christmas dinner to me. I even offered to make and bring a roast or tenderloin but the hostess rejected the offer.

Seems like the younger people all use Evite.

I agree with snidely. I'll add, it may well be the only way she knew of contacting you. I often find my mother's friends via Facebook, and don't even have all their phone numbers! That she wants to include you like family speaks volumes to me that she really cares about you.

Just tell them you have already made plans and go with what you have already decided. Next year you can go if invited early enough. Don't worry about it and have a wonderful time with your dad and enjoy that prime rib, sounds delicious to me.

It sounds to me like you're trying to trump up an excuse (whether in your own mind, or to share with them) why you can't or shouldn't go. If you've made it before, the distance isn't an obstacle.

The food sounds delicious, pass along the invite to me if you aren't going. I hope by your comments that you don't expect someone to check with you first before deciding what to serve for THEIR party. If you don't like what's being served, eat before you go or when you get home. Have a good time!

Snidely, I think that Pkramer is most concerned about the lateness of the invitation. Again, I think that because the baton was passed for this year, things just got muddled.

And yes, I do agree that FB ,Evites etc. are the way things go right now.

I agree with you Pkramer I think texting and facebook is way over used. In fact I had a friend just tell me the same thing that she got a invitation from her brothers wife on facebook and she did not like it either. They live in the same town of about 700 people and she said couldn't she have called me. I am pretty sure she has her phone number. It is like people can't talk to each other anymore. My friend is 53 and her sister in law is about 45, so I would not consider them young people.

So many people use only cell phone numbers and do not have land line, therefore they are not listed in the phone book...or on line. FB may be the only way she had to contact you. Do as you want about going...but it "sounds" like you are wanting to decline this year.

Some posters should be more careful how they express themselves. Let's not be harsh at any time on these forums, but especially this time of year, please. We can all express our different opinions without being rude.

I have to agree with ellendidi6161 that IMHO you are not off base in expecting a civilized, decent and proper invitation to something important to you. Using other methods encouraged by youth is no excuse. Those of us who are older still respect usage of accepted and established ways, and should encourage them so that they are not lost in the laziness of convenience. ..... Pink

I don't see any harsh answers pink? I don't think anyone is saying people shouldn't try to use the old established routes, but, and this is my question, what if she didn't have another way to find her or, since it's also an accepted route, why was it wrong? Lateness aside. It could just be a fumble, and she meant to do it earlier.

My own opinion is that there's Facebook and then there's Facebook. If she knows you check Facebook regularly (many don't), and sends a personal message rather than expecting you to find a general announcement amidst all the clutter that goes by, I'd think it okay.

There might be an issue between granddaughter and grandmother, however. Like she's trying to start her own traditions and is nervous and wanted to trim the guest list, but grandmother insisted that you had to be invited. Grandmother might also really want friends of her own to talk too, so may be pushing it, or else doesn't think you should have to be just the two of you, alone. I don't think you need to "make amends" for having your own plans and declining, but it's a good idea to make plans to get together soon to make up for missing the visit.

I have no problems with a FaceBook invitation. An invitation is an invitation, no matter how you receive it.

I would obviously not be invited because I don't do Facebook or any other social media, I have a land line, cell phone number and check email regularly I am very rarely checking texts so everyone knows not to depend on me seeing it for several days. Not everyone lives on their Facebook so I definitely would not depend on that method for something timely. I have received evites in email those I would get with in a days time.

The decision is of course yours to make and it sounds like you have done that.

First of all, my number is listed with 411, and many of her family also have my cell number, including the hostess' mother. They also have my email address.

As for wanting to decline, yes, now that I spent a small fortune on a hunk of prime meat, I am looking forward to the meal. Had the invitation come sooner I would have gladly accepted.

As for issues between GM and GD, I highly doubt it. GD is not shy and would have spoken up.

I did call GM this afternoon to let her know that we are not attending. She was disappointed but understanding. We will get together for NYE as we do each year.

And while I have not heard from the hostess, her mother did call me this afternoon, apologizing for her daughters behavior. She too understand why we are not coming, and jokingly wanted to come to my house where it is quieter. She is more than welcome to come over. In fact, the whole clan of 40 can come over anytime.

Let me tell you about a text I recieved the summer of 2014. From an unkown number, no message, just a tiny photo of a computer and its screen. I ignored it and missed my godsons graduation party. The text was sent by a SIL from AZ. The photo could not be read, containing party info. Half the guest list never showed for the party. Was I p*ssed? You bet!

I use Facebook for my Thanksgiving invitations. I just create an event and it's so nice having a central area where I can send them all, see the rsvp's, coordinate who is bringing what, any changes in times, etc. rather than having to email or call every person every time there's a change.

You're already assuming that the invitation will come via Facebook. It may not! But perhaps that's not the issue. The issue is that it's so late, right? I'm getting a bit confused by what the objection is. If it were me, I'd just decide what I'd rather do that day and either graciously accept or graciously decline, regardless of the way the invitation was received.

hi Pink,

Geez, First you asked "Am I off base here?" and folks opined. Lots of us think that yes you are off base here. I would say if you even get an invitation then RSVP the way you see fit.

AND THEN you come back and chide the folks who bothered to read your inquiry and reply by saying all this and providing your own answer to the question you started and got pissed about LOL: "Some posters should be more careful how they express themselves. Let's not be harsh at any time on these forums, but especially this time of year, please. We can all express our different opinions without being rude.

I have to agree with ellendidi6161 that IMHO you are not off base in expecting a civilized, decent and proper invitation to something important to you. Using other methods encouraged by youth is no excuse. Those of us who are older still respect usage of accepted and established ways, and should encourage them so that they are not lost in the laziness of convenience."

I think you are lucky to get any invitations! And if you do I hope you won't try to correct the invite, the décor, the table selections, and so on. Get over yourself and have a nice holiday if at all possible ;)

I am another person who does not live by Facebook. My "friends" live some distance away, and our connections there are not daily or even weekly; perhaps less. I could 'imagine' that a 'friend' that one exchanged messages frequently, could arrange all kinds of things "together" via Facebook......but "friending and inviting" at the same time.....unusual to say the least. "Together" being a key word in my take.

stolenidentity, you might want to go back and straighten out who you are addressing. You are chewing out more than one person. The original poster didn't say any of the things you are giving her credit for. And yes, being civil is more appropriate than getting your opinion across. But considering the source I would expect no less than a cutting remark.

Pink isn't the OP. She saw something brewing as often happens around here, and expressed her wish for people to remain kind.

Times have changed and that is how so many will do it and I agree so many got rid of land phones and so there isn't a phone number to contact them. And most people that are on computers,etc. that can get facebook will find it there. Or emails as lots check their emails daily. A friend and I would chat about things do invites in emails and phone is not good at her house due to circumstances. So, we must go with the flow no matter what, just that you did get invited and its a busy time of year too and so many have lots going on plus working or schooling.

Roast beefs can be put back in freezer and taken out for a nice new years dinner for you and dad so you can go and be with the grandparents is it that want you there. I agree the food sounds good and many have that for christmas dinner I have read, some don't like turkey or they don't want another turkey for christmas. Maybe you could have brought for you and your dad some meat of some kind for the two of you to eat.

I agree its a short drive to go and have appetizers or dessert, don't do drinks and then drive.

kathy

Glad I wasn't the only one who got confused by the post by stolen identity. Whew what a cluster mess lol.

I also believe that virtual communication is fast replacing in-real-life communication, whether we oldsters like it or not. I'm 60 and have been dragged kicking and screaming into the computer age. But you know what? I actually DO like some of it. Like this party's hostess, I would go to ANY lengths to avoid actually calling someone. ANY lengths. I don't remember the last time I actually had a phone conversation with someone. Facebook is an ideal replacement for me.

Also, if you receive the invite today, December 14, Xmas Day is still 11 days away. So I wouldn't consider this invite to be so terribly late.

Obviously you already have plans for the day, though, and that's fine. The party's hostess should understand that. But I wouldn't say the reason you aren't going is because it's 30 WHOLE MINUTES away. That's nothing. (Unless weather is a consideration, though.)

oops, apologies for mixing up the posters. But my feelings are no different. Getting invited to anything is a beautiful thing, however it is extended.

I think you are way off base. It's nice to get an invite no matter the method. I understand the desire to have a more personal phone invite, but you said that you barely know this woman. Maybe she feels awkward calling someone she is barely acquainted with. With a phone call you have to make some other kind of conversation,which may be difficult in a situation where the parties aren't close. What's wrong with a straight to the point Facebook invite? That being said, I notice alot of comments about how young people use social media too much,text too much etc. I'm 30. I'm not on ANY type of social media. I really dont feel the need to share EVERY aspect of my personal life with the world,nor am i interested in every aspect of anyone elses life.However, I can appreciate not having to call and converse with a friend or family member who always turns the conversation into a political rant, or a long winded story about their offspring or something else that bores me to tears when I just needed to get a message to them. It's so much easier and not any less personal to text or email a quick to the point invite or message. When I send cards or gifts to my nieces and nephews, I love to get videos of them saying thank you rather then a forcibly handwritten thank you note. Technology is not the enemy people, the fuddy duddy resistance to it is.

That being said, I think she is being rude to wait so long to get an invite to you, especially is she is using facebook. It sounds like she really doesn't want you there, or you are simply an afterthought. How tacky. I wouldn't worry at all about offending anyone by declining the invite. Simply say that you were not expecting an invite so close to the day, and as you had not received one, you made other plans for that day.

Yes, I think you are off base. Why fret over this anyway? You are not going to go, no matter which way you received the invite. Relax.

Sounds more like a personal bias against all "computer" invitations? Oh. Ok. I take it you're just venting. I hear you! It can be frustrating when important events aren't given their due. I agree.

These forums really bring out telling personality traits, don't they? I still say kindness is important even though we don't actually know each other. Happy Holiday everyone! ....... Pink

I was asking for clarification, because I didn't see any unkindness? It got answered simply by saying "something brewing as often happens around here". I can see that. Just so you know from where I am coming ;)

I just like to be thought of for an event and the means of invitation really doesn't matter to me. I like a phone call, evite, facebook, bumping into a friend, knock on the door, snailmail, handdelivery, - whatever is comfortable for the person hosting the event.

Last summer we were invited to 3 dinners last minute - not because we were fill-ins but because our friends just decided at the last minute to throw a barbecue/dinner party. It was really fun because it was an unexpected surprise.

Some people don't even have computers, or look at their e-mail only occasionally. Let alone is everyone on Facebook. No matter how much time young people today spend looking at screens if they want to be sure of reaching everybody with invitations or other announcements they will send them in the mail - just like the government does.

Yesterday it was announced Twitter may have been hacked, I haven't heard the outcome. Using Facebook has been seen in the past to involve some privacy issues also. Everyone jumping on the myriad electronic ways being offered to conduct their business has created a bonanza for identity thieves, making this now the most prevalent area of criminal activity.

So lucille. Did you get an invitation? As has already been noted here, it seems that you wouldn't want to accept no matter what the invitation vehicle is. That's fine! But don't try to hide behind a "hrumpf" that the invitation might be from Facebook. If you and your dad have your day planned, decline based on that. I think you're looking for something to have a chip on your shoulder about. You don't need to! You're entitled to have the day the way you want it to be with no explanation. A gracious "thank you, but ..." is sufficient.

I'm fine with invitations via Facebook, but people will just have to realize that I usually check the thing once every week or so -- so if they really want me there, some other means of contacting me in a timely manner is a good idea.

i do think the OP is off base in this case. A friend's granddaughter is nice enough to include you in her holiday festivities Either accept or decline, but don't complain about how the invitation is extended. I wonder how long it took for people to accept a telephoned invitation instead of a mailed one? And how often did people complain about getting a pony expressed invite instead of a smoke signal? :)

times are changing, using Facebook to invite people and keep track of RSVPs isn't going to go away. Most importantly, remember you should not to try to control how any other person chooses to entertain. She obviously knew that the OP was on Facebook, so felt sending the friend request would be ok.

Merry Christmas, don't be cranky be grateful.

I prefer phone calls, but I've gotten used to the idea that my daughter mainly communicates by e-mail, Facebook and texts. I have gotten evites for parties, and am fine with that. Times change and if we fight it instead of accepting it we are only frustrating ourselves.

I sent out printed invitations for my upcoming (this Friday) party about thirty days ago, and followed it up with an Evite, lol. I don't "do" Facebook.

I included my email address and phone for RSVPs and have heard back from everybody one way or another.

Wow, this was brutal. I am sorry PK. People asking why do you feel one way or another and you should be glad to get an invite at all as if your humble feelings don't matter and you are living in the dark ages. Not at all. There are many ways for one to give an opinion. December gets filled up quickly. And if you work, many times there is a date for an office party one of the weekends. I hope you are alright. I love invitations in the mail. It's fun and worth the extra effort. However, your GD loses because it is too late. And her mother realized that and will pass along the reason. I hope you have a wonderful time. I also hope some mother's teach their children to continue traditions of the past. I do get more significant invitations by mail. But that is how my friends around me were raised and passed it on.

I don't do evites. If I receive one, I call or e-mail the hosts to respond and get details that weren't in the e-mail message. I get too many malware warnings to go to those sites.

The family Christmas party on DH's side is this Saturday. At one of my SIL's houses. She created a "_____ Family Events" page on facebook and tagged all family members in it. She told the time and place and asked everyone to respond whether they could come or not and what they were bringing. Works fine for our family.

I think I understand what you are saying.....you feel snubbed because she took so long to invite you. I get that. She should have invited you sooner. If you don't want to go, I would respond with a gracious reply saying thank you very much for the invitation, I will unfortunately have to decline this year. Period. No excuses or reasons. You don't owe an excuse. I'm sorry if you feel bad about this. People really do get extremely busy during the holiday season. Have a very Merry Christmas.

Maybe she figured her grandmother had already invited you? I mean, you obviously knew where it was going to be and what day it was. Not sure I would have expected a separate invite in that case. I don't mind facebook invites myself. We are all very busy and trying to get everyone on the phone is no easy task. Plus, messages are taken by spouses and children and not passed on LOL. Other than weddings and showers, we get/send very few invitations by mail.

Now. How do you cook your Prime Rib? It always intrigues me and I don't mind rare beef. But all that unrendered fat skeeves me out!

Dances.

Dances, here is the recipe from Serious Eats. Works great.

Ingredients

1 standing rib roast (prime rib), 3-12
pounds (see note above)

Kosher salt or Lawry's seasoning.

Freshly ground black pepper

Chopped fresh rosemary

Procedures

Preheat oven to lowest possible temperature
setting, 150°F or greater (some ovens can't hold a temperature below 200°F).
Season roast generously with kosher salt and fresh ground black pepper. Place
roast, with fat cap up, on v-rack set in large roasting pan. Place in oven and
cook until center of roast registers 120°F on an instant-read thermometer for
medium-rare or 135°F for medium. In a 150°F oven, this will take around 5 1/2
to 6 1/2 hours. In a 200°F oven, this will take 3 1/2 to 4 hours.

Remove roast
from oven and tent loosely with aluminum foil. Place in a warm spot in the
kitchen and allow to rest for at least 30 minutes, and up to an hour and a
half. Meanwhile, preheat oven to highest possible temperature setting (500°F to
550°F)

10 minutes before
guests are ready to be served, remove foil, and place roast back in hot oven
and cook until well-browned and crisp on the exterior, 6-10 minutes. Remove
from oven, carve, and serve immediately.

You can trim the fat off either before roasting, but I do not recommend it. Trim it off after if it really bothers.