O.K., I'm a little frustrated now. I had unlinked the photos I have in PB but still can't keep photos from the viewing public. Next I opened an account with WinkFlash and loaded a few photos. I ran a test, copied a photo into an email and sent it. The person who received the email/photo clicked on the photo and was taken to WinkFlash and could go through the entire album (there were several photos I uploaded) b/c I was logged in at the same time. As soon as I logged out, it wouldn't let my friend back in. The problem is if I'm in the WinkFlash account any linked photos are then open and by turn the whole album is open. I didn't want my friend to see all the photos in the album and I sure don't want to worry when I'm in WinkFlash that anyone who had one linked photo can access all the photos in my albums. Also, I couldn't find any privacy control settings on WinkFlash. While I like being able to send copies of the photos to friends, I don't want them (or anyone else) to have that much access. Is there a site that actually secures your photos? Thanks

HU-188136718 -- You really need to be getting yourself a lawyer, if you don't have one already. I'm not sure where you live, but in the US, it is up to each state, within reason, to determine the division of marital property, and if you were technically (on paper) still married to your DH, you may have some recourse/ claim to get some of your joint items or property back or some sort of proceeds. Many times, your first meeting with a lawyer can be for free/ consulting and no fee will be charged. And the couple of times I did this, they were very upfront and clear with my options. Didn't try to blow me off or anything. They could be more resourceful than you think and without a charge for the first meeting! Worth checking it out. My heart also goes out to you because I know what is like to think you have a positive relationship with your stepkids, only to find out after some horrific episode or two that you do not. In your case, you're not only grieving the loss of your husband (or what you thought your relationship with him would be) and the loss of your home, estate and puppy, but also the loss of the relationship you thought you had with your stepkids. Please do not hesitate to seek out outside support from family, friends, ministers, therapists, etc. You need all the support you can get right now. HU-227652862 -- If I were you, I'd probably sit down and make a list of all of the reasons for your husband not to go, including time, distance, health issues, the fact that she needs to learn how to handle her adult problems herself, etc., and sit down and have a discussion with your DH. Since it is a hot topic for your DH, you will have to be the more responsible one to make sure that it does not degrade to a fight. You just remain calm, no matter what, and keep telling him that you love him and are concerned. Now, your DH will probably have only one main reason, although it is a good one, to keep doing these things for his daughter. He may not admit to it, but he may want to take advantage of any opportunity to see his daughter because he loves her, of course. And it may not matter that it is a bad reason or a reason that could greatly affect his health either. And him going there to "fix" things, further makes your DH feel needed by his daughter. It's tough to fight that parenteral instinct. Even though the parent may be being used and it may be detrimental to their health, it's their child and parents make self-sacrifices for their children all the time! So, the purpose of this discussion (not argument) you are going to have with your DH will be for both of you to logically (in theory) look at each other's side or angle. HOWEVER, if your DH wants to continue doing as he has been for this daughter, then that is pretty much his call, as hard as it may be for you to accept. I'd just make sure he knows the risks (including being taken advange of) coming from your angle, and if he does and chooses to do for her anyway, then you have to let it go. They have a father-daughter bond, and sometimes parents and their kids, incl. adult kids, have some sort of odd or near unhealthy codependency going on that on that works for them, regardless of how it may look on the outside. You can't make your DH separate from his daughter. I know people like to think SMs do this all the time, but in reality, no one can separate a man from his child or a woman from her child unless they, they themselves, want to separate.

I would also be interested in the number of viewers-- purely out of curiosity and as a measure of what is important and of interest to others. I post often but in spurts.. there are some days I dont visit GW at all and some when I am more in the mood to read than participate (I *always* have an opinion-- but I don't always want to put in effort to share it. Iowa, no need to be timid. As I said, I always have an opinion but I don't have any special skills to make me worthy of posting on a topic. I'll jump in and talk on a wide range of topics with only my experience, opinions and aspirations. Sure, there are some tangles at times.. and I could see that they might be intimidating.. but they are usually short-lived and focused on a specific topic. Just like in our "real lives" (though I consider this forum an extension of my real circle of friends), sometimes the people around us have bad days. Even me :) So sit back, relax and jump in when you have something to say!

My DH uses the legal term "expectation of privacy", as in "until you are a self-supporting adult, you should have no expectation of privacy". If we are paying for the devices and the service, we own it all, just like an employer. In our house, what it means is that we need to have everyone's passwords for their devices and accounts, and we reserve the right to periodically review their activity/messages/images etc. We hardly ever do any of that. And none of it is foolproof anyway. Like a lot of parenting, there is some smoke and mirrors involved. I don't think we can compare today's world to our teen years. It's not about reading diaries. It is about real world risks well beyond their years to assess. I often tell my DH, kids get expelled today for things they text, when kids used to *say* the same things when we were teens, but there was no record of it. (at least in private schools they are very strict about tech) As is the fashion in our circles, we held off mightily on technology of all kinds. I think I related before that this once resulted in a long car ride with my son and another middle school student who spent most of the the time talking about StarWars. My son had never seen or heard of it, but he was an opera buff. LOL At what point were our good intentions handicapping him? One of my DD actually burst into tears the year she opened a present and got her phone, so belated was it in her peer group. They have become a vital means of being part of communities for kids. As a parent, I like that my kids have phones. I can reach them when the urge strikes me. I can text rather than nag or yell. And it is very handy for punishment. My youngest DD has not had her phone for weeks as a punishment, and my DH points out it hurts us more. It complicates logistics and, ironically, if she does something, I can't think of how to punish her because I already have her phone. Maybe I need to get her another one. ; )