Sigh. Here we go again. Kimmsr, put your listening ears on! Those insects that require a particular species of plant in order to complete their life cycle will seek out that plant and use it for its purpose no matter what. It does not matter if that plant is in perfect condition and is thriving in the best of soils. The columbine sawfly is just one example. This is one aspect of IPM that you seem to have little understanding of, Kimmsr. There are many species specific pests out there. We can eliminate those plants from our gardens, or we can take it upon ourselves to learn the life cycle of the pests so that we can mitigate the damage. No one has said that a 'good healthy soil that grows strong, healthy plants will not deter insect pests and diseases'. (I know that you're trying to insult me, but you'll have to do better than that, lol.) But you shouldn't turn your back on the facts. There ARE very susceptible plants out there just as there ARE plant pests that will seek and find their particular host plant. It's very important to provide a vital and healthy soil system. The benefits are huge. And many insect and disease pests are able to take advantage of plants that are weak, under or over nourished, or simply languishing. But it's important, too, that we understand the behaviors and life cycles of some pests. By doing so, we can avoid those plants entirely, should we wish to do so. But for those particular insects, seeking out the appropriate plant species is instinctual...just as much as a mosquito seeks a blood meal.

Jazzie, thanks for your reply on my letter to mom thread. That was very nice of you. I know exactly how you feel, or I think I do. Especially the part of nothing bringing joy anymore. I read the paper and they go on and on about the Super Bowl. Who cares? My mom is dead. My MIL summed it up pretty well last year. The world doesn't stop for one persons personal tragedy. I guess that is true. And I have screamed at the heavens and sobbed and cursed God for making this world so full of love, but the flip side is the pain when our loved ones are taken from us. Marion is also correct in that some days are better than others. I also read Hello from Heaven, and it helped a bit. Two others that were quite a comfort to me was "Lessons from the Light' by George Anderson. He explains that when we die we go 'home'. The place where we came from and it is a wonderful place full of light and joy. Another great book is called "Forever Ours" and it chronicles near death experiences and different signs. Short stories. Several are very touching. I don't prescribe to any particular religion. I consider myself a Christian but don't believe you go to hell if you don't believe in a certain doctrine. There is more to this life than we know. Hang in there Jazz. There are a lot of people feeling like you do, and it helps to talk things out. Take care, Duane

I agree with trekaren, ignore the behavior....my now grown son use to get so mad he would hold his breath and pass out. It was very scary the first few times he did it. I realized one day that when he came to and didn't see me all panicky in his face he may just wonder why. I tried it. He passed out, I made sure he was in a safe place and walked away. He came to in about 30 sec. and didn't see me there. He got up from the floor, came to the kitchen wanted a hug and said...."I thought you left me!" I said...."I did, you passed out, what else could I do?" He said, "I'm sorry mommy, I won't do that again, I don't want to be alone." He never did. It's worth a try....just keep all the sharp objects out of reach from her.

Well, there is the companionable silence which is quite pleasant, as it means people are comfortable with one another and relaxed. Then there is the, someone just made an unfortunate political/religious/gossipy comment that everyone is trying to ignore, silence. And most horrible, the armed silence that occurs when an undercurrent of hostility runs 'round the table. As for compliments, if people eat up heartily, I am complimented. Particularly once they've devoured a fair number of hors d'ouevres and aren't hungry enough any more to eat anything whether it's good or not (sounds like the situation with the salad-must have been good!) Actually, I get a bit uncomfortable with too many or too effusive compliments. I mean, I know I'm a decent cook, and I just watched you clean your plate and take seconds, I don't want you to feel like you have to gush. Is that weird?