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joyfulguy

Courtesy on the road

11 years ago

After I'd been here in the library for about an hour, a librarian came over and suggested that I might have left the running lights on in my parked car ... they were. She'd gone for the mail and knew my car. She was duly thanked.

I'm to go to a friend's home, often leaving little margin of travel time, to drive together to an investment group meeting (of subscribers to the money management magazine that I refer to here from time to time) some distance away near the other end of the city.

Yesterday I was travelling on a rather narrow road approaching another narrow one, with little spare room at the corner when a long truck began a turn from that road into mine, so I slowed substantially to allow him lots of room to make his turn. He waved in thanks as he came up to me.

Just after I turned the corner, that road passes over a freeway and an oncoming vehicle was in the lane and signalling to cross my path to enter the freeway. Another vehicle was following me at middle distance, so I swung to my right on paved shoulder so that the approaching vehicle could turn right after me while maintaining speed, which he did.

At a number of intersections in our city the curb swings to the right at the approach, enough so that if the first car stopped sits in the middle of the lane there's not enough room for the second car to turn right, should the driver wish to do so, but if the driver of the first car hugs the road marking on the left, there's sufficient room for the second car to turn right if the driver so wishes.

Helpful for the second driver, at no cost to the first driver - so why not?

Nice to be helpful to others, when one has the opportunity.

ole joyfuelled

Comments (34)

  • 11 years ago

    Oh, I thought this was going to be a rant about rude drivers. It drives me insane when people drive from a side street into the main street, just barely missing me. I look in the rear view mirror is there is NO ONE behind me. What would have been so bad about waiting another 30 seconds and letting me go by. Second rant: people that don't give timely turn signals or any turn signal at all. Ahhh, deep breath. I'm OK now.......

  • 11 years ago

    Guess ole joyful's not in a ranting mood, today.

    o j

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  • 11 years ago

    Today a tractor-trailer was making a left turn onto a side street. A teeny little car was sitting in the left turn lane......no one behind him. Do you think he would back up so that the truck driver could turn easily? I was hoping the truck would have taken off his hood!! I was angry just watching him sit there.

  • 11 years ago

    My area has grown a lot in the last few decades, with a lot of new drivers who didn't grow up here. We used to have lots of good driving manners, and people would always let people in. Then people came from elsewhere in the U.S., as well as many foreign countries, and drove very differently. Scarily so. And a lot of them don't know driving basics, like how to merge. I've noticed recently, as congestion has gotten worse, that driving manners are actually improving. People let others in, acknowledge courtesies, don't tailgate as often, etc. They still don't know how to merge, but it's getting better. I think the laws against phoning and texting while driving might have helped, though the problems started well before telecom wasn't something normally available in cars. Another thing that helps, I think, is that there's just no way to speed most of the time. Going the limit feels like speeding. :) So maybe people have been forced to mellow out. :)

  • 11 years ago

    Speaking of merging... I was coming off a ramp onto the interstate, with several cars ahead of me, and several behind me. When we began merging, the car behind me was ready to whip on around instead of allowing myself and the cars ahead of me to get on. When I noticed it was his attention to whiz on past, I gave way. He passed me and flipped me off! Those are the type of moves that causes accidents. Never expect people to drive with any kind of civility.

    OJ - yes, you are a very thoughtful driver. Wish everyone behaved in a kindly fashion. I, too, try to be a courteous driver.


  • 11 years ago

    Just remembered. There used to be lovely cultural events at an auditorium nearby. It really wasn't made for that kind of crowd, however, of two, or one, per vehicle. There's a parking lot, with driveways at either end, but which both let into the same little access road, so at all points it was clogged. We would often hang back and chat about the concert rather than tangling with the horrible backups of people who just had to leave first. One day, however, the weather was miserable and cold, and the only thing to do was get in the car and turn on the heat, at which point, it made sense to pull out when there was a space to do so. This one time, blustery weather, fogged windshields and all, people behaved as they were taught in primary school: First one from one line goes, then one from the other line goes, zipper style. Cogwheels. Turnstiles. And like any simple machine, it worked gracefully and quickly, and emptied like a dream, in a way that it never does with fewer people trying to leave at once. Never seen again, of course, but a blissful memory.

  • 11 years ago

    It's refreshing to hear the more gracious sides of life on the highways. :)

  • 11 years ago

    I really can't stand rude or bad drivers.

    Not using a turn signal is one of the worst. I love what my husband says to me when he sees me grumbling about a lack of turn signal. "But honey, THEY know where they are going, why would they need to signal?"

    Makes me laugh and brings the stress level down a little.

  • 11 years ago

    There are too many bad and inconsiderate drivers on the road. Immigrants are an easy (and racist, should I add) target to pick on, but that's not what I see most of in my multiethnic area. I see PLENTY of problem drivers who from all outward signs are locals (especially many cell phone distracted females from age 18-50). Humorously, and in a sad way, I see many females holding phones against their ear while driving late model up-market cars that I know have Bluetooth handsfree systems. It's a ticket infraction in my state but one that's not adequately enforced.


    In years past, I might react to rude/selfish/stupid moves from other drivers by a flash of my headlights, a horn honk, or a dirty look. Never a one finger salute, though, that's not my nature.


    These days, because of how many loonies, males with testosterone overload, or others looking for an opportunity to display road rage are driving around, I keep my reactions to myself. Life is short enough, no reason to make it shorter.

  • 11 years ago

    Jasdip, that happened to me many years ago. And I did try to back up out of the way. He still clipped my front fender causing the bumper to puncture my tire. The driver was about 25 or so. He said he'd change the tire for me but he didn't. The policeman that made the report did. I still keep my eyes on any big rig making a turn like that.

  • 11 years ago

    Snidely- I am detecting a bit of misogyny on your part, perhaps unintended.


    You lambast the immigrant claims as inherently racist, then immediately follow that statement with your own misogynistic tales of inattentive/inconsiderate drivers who are female.


    For my part, I might as well live in the backwoods boondocks compared to some of you BUT, the cutting off, failure to signal lane change, horrible parking, etc tends to be young looking boys in large vehicles they have no business driving.


    Don't get me wrong, I have also seen plenty of inattentive people from all walks of life but your average, "gosh, why is he being such an a**hole driver/s" is typically a young arrogant male driving a large oversized vehicle he has no clue how to handle and has no business driving.


  • 11 years ago

    texas, my female reference was for cell phone distraction only. It's what I see as I described but it appears to be women of all ethnicities insofar as that can be visually discerned. I can think of a few reasons why that may be but you may or may not have had similar experiences so I can leave it at that.

  • 11 years ago

    Snidely- I'm quite certain it all comes down to demographics and the region of those demographics.


    I live in a rural area. We have some immigrants but by and large, the drivers you encounter in this area are "natives" and a large portion of them are natives who grew up on a farm.


    As I'm certain, anyone who grew up in a rural area is accustomed to coming across a giant tractor driving down the highway.


    Regardless of "rulebooks", there are certain " laws of the land" for any area you live in and it just so happens that mine is rural farm/ranch land.


    The majority of those drivers who follow the local "rulebook" and disregard the actual laws of the land tend to be young males.

    They seem to think that the same rules that apply while they are in the middle of their own field apply when they are on the county owned road with a speed limit of 55mph.


    Don't get me wrong, I've seen plenty of clueless female drivers as well. By and large though, the ones hogging the road, going 20-30mph under the speed limit, impeding traffic in all directions and not signaling are young males.

  • 11 years ago

    Snidely, I was talking about culture when I mentioned that the people who moved here had different driving manners, and didn't know how we did things. I did not mention race. The worst were people from Boston. That's not a race. People from Boston, at least back then, admitted that their city was the motherland of crazy drivers. There are also parts of the world where using the horn instead of the brake is the accepted way--parts that have the full panoply of races. I don't know how to drive like that, so I have avoided driving abroad. I don't want to impede their traffic, or worse, from not knowing how to drive their way.

    You owe me an apology.

  • 11 years ago

    Texas_Gem, it's the same in the city, but different circumstances. Contrary to other claims, the distracted women drivers I see tend to slow down, but keep to their lanes, and more of them are trying to manage mascara between stoplights than telephones. By the time women are old enough to drive, they have operation of a telephone down pat. :D The ones hogging the middle of the road, around here, are invariably driving showroom spiffy, expensive foreign cars (but not race style cars), and yakking away, gesticulating, yelling, into their bluetooths, and, I suppose, occupying the whole middle of the street as their only strategy for not running into parked cars while they're not really looking, or controlling the wheel, and totally oblivious to oncoming traffic. Those folks are about 80% male from what I've seen, and the more expensive and newer the ride, the worse the driver. But mine is only an observational survey, and the true numbers could be quite different.

    BTW, I've come across lots of those big tractors, but they're always over on the shoulder and just into the lane enough to stay on the pavement. I guess our rural isn't rural enough for the antics you see. :)

  • 11 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I had to drive daddy's truck last night to take some furniture to my new house. I felt like I total dork sitting high in that cab, and in the middle of his road (it's like a lane and half, rather than two lanes. He lives in the boonies). I drove really slow too. I couldn't back it, baby sis had to do that. I couldn't park it by pulling straight in either! I have a new appreciation for those who drive pickups daily. I could never do that. It doesn't help that I drive a tiny sports car. Had no idea where the truck ended or how wide it was. Glad it wasn't during rush hour traffic!

  • 11 years ago

    plllog- you can always tell who is driving a tractor by how far over they are. Experienced older men will drive on the shoulder, young boys tend to take up the whole road.


    Then they get to drive daddy's big 4x4 in town and, lord have mercy! It's amazing they all live to adulthood. They tailgate horribly, speed, take up both lanes, have NO idea how to park.

    Basically drive like almost all teenage boys do, its just that they are in a half ton pickup.

    Ahhh, I probably say (under my breath) on a weekly basis, "if you can't park it, you shouldn't be driving it!"

  • 11 years ago

    Snidely, I find it funny that you see women on cell phones because I notice mostly men doing this. And we live in the same area. :)

  • 11 years ago

    The cell phone! How I wished I had a sign I could flash that read "get off the #%$& CP". You can almost tell who's talking b/c the slow down to about 0 miles. Then a crazy would shoot me and I couldn't garden any more.

    is it just in TX? if somebody doesn't want to drive fast for whatever reason or is driving a truck full of hay bales, etc. They simply move to the shoulder and let the vehicles behind pass. Ive never seen that done in other states. I try to always wave thank you

  • 11 years ago

    Yesterday I nearly killed a woman. I had just made a right turn into the parking lot of my favorite grocery store when a woman stepped off the curb directly in front of me. I screeched to a halt and she just looked at me with a blank look. Same day i was on a narrow road in my town when I saw a schoolbus approaching from the opposite direction. There were cars parked along both sides so I knew we could not both pass. I pulled to the right and stopped my car. The car behind me did the same. We both proceeded after the bus went by.

  • 11 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    is what just in TX, bossy? If anyone had been on the 1 1/2 lane road with me, I'd have pulled over. On the regular five lane road, I didn't need to. Nor the interstate. Got lucky! And I'm in TN. Maybe just the T states? ;)

  • 11 years ago

    Maybe!

  • 11 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    p-log, how do you look at someone in a car and learn they're from Boston? Unless you're anecdotally describing someone you know, in which case, I can say I know several California natives who aren't great drivers. (In fact, one lives in my house). I do know the reputation Boston drivers have and having driven there myself, there is something to it.

    As you well know, internal US migrants come to California from 49 states and external ones from every country in the world. If you want to generalize, here's mine - I lived 2.5 years in Western Europe, have driven all over there then and since, and find that European drivers are MUCH better drivers on average than American ones. More sensible, more polite and more attentive. So when people from those cultures come here, our communities' drivers on average get better.

    sjerin, yes, I too see men on calls, often during weekday rush hours. But women much more frequently and 24 x 7, in cars, grocery stores and everywhere else. The scariest scene is women driving their urban assault vehicles (overly large SUVs) holding the phone in one hand and gesturing with the other. I saw one doing so climb up the back of another car when traffic had stopped but her conversation hadn't.

  • 11 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    S-lash, I'm sure you're right about the good drivers from Europe. But I wasn't talking about bad drivers. I was talking about people with different ideas of the proper courtesies to be used while driving. And I was talking about all the people who come to California from all over the U.S. and threw in the internationals because some of them don't bother learning the local ways either. We used to use the word "furreners" for Americans who weren't from California and came here and spoke (and drove) like they didn't want to be here, but refused to go back where they came from. I knew where people came from as a combination of various published demographic analyses of driver behavior, talking to people, bumper stickers, etc. Not scientifically rigorous, but as much so as your own observations.

    I'm waiting for my apology. Just because you assumed that I was judging people by their looks--even though that would be riduculous because since the Europeans first came to California, born Californians have looked like the whole world--doesn't mean it was I who was making racist statements.

  • 11 years ago

    Several years ago there was a power outage in our city and the signal lights at a major crossing, one road coming down a substantial hill, were out.

    The rule is that vehicles stop and move ahead in sequence, first from one road, then the other. My insurance agency is nearby, I parked in their yard, went back to the corner and directed traffic: half a dozen vehicles moving ahead from one road, then half a dozen from the other moves things along much faster.

    Several waved or spoke thanks while passing ... and one guy spoke rather loudly and harshly (not quite yelling) to say that I should get off of the road!

    Did a similar thing at an exit on a couple of freeways, one the Trans Canada highway in Alberta, and on a freeway in Ontario, when traffic was backed up due to an accident. At the second, one cop passed en route to the accident and another told me to go sit in my car (on the road going in the other direction).

    ole joyful

  • 11 years ago

    joyful, I think you and everyone else would remain safer if you would remain on the sidelines in such situations and leave public safety to public safety officers.

  • 11 years ago

    p-log, in the interest of peaceful coexistence, I'll say that I'm sorry for some of the comments you made but I know we can continue to exchange views in a friendly way.


    No one more so than your description of distracted drivers that IS SO TYPICAL of what I see with females. Drive on any of the freeways in SoCal, people like this will pass on the left and right at 80 mph. I could just spit with what you said, but I know you're well-intentioned.


    Best wishes, a smile and an extended olive branch,


    SW

  • 11 years ago

    I just want an apology for calling me a racist. What you've said is incomprehensible.


  • 11 years ago

    Whenever we have power outages and traffic lights aren't working, people are really courteous and polite around here to let others take proper turns. We basically treat those intersections like four way stop signs.

    On the other paw, my exit on the interstate happens to be a (well-marked) left lane exit, and if you are in the far left lane of the three lanes, you have to exit. Well, for the second time in a month, yesterday some idjit suddenly veered from that left lane all the way across the highway so he could stay on the highway at the last moment. Right in front of me, natch. (I'm in the middle lane which divides so that one half takes the exit, the other half stays on the highway.) Bleah. You are that asleep, just get off the highway and get back on later.

  • 11 years ago

    p-log, how do you visually determine that someone in another car is an immigrant from a foreign country?

  • 11 years ago

    Some of the funniest articles in the New Yorker a few years ago were by Evan Osmos, reporting on new drivers in China. ("What's to learn? You step on this pedal and GO!") My DH used to say he would die walking our dog along our street -- victim of an Asian woman (driving one of Snidely's 'assault vehicles').

    When it's your *experience* it's not prejudice (or 'racist'). The most courteous drivers we see are the locals on Maui -- people of all different (and mixed) ethnic backgrounds. But...they are not new to the US or to driving.

    In my area -- in my experience (mostly on the road during the day) -- women *are* the most frequent on-the-phone erratic drivers. Gosh, PULL OVER!

    The "Bliss" single panel carton recently featured a line of angry drivers halted by a jerk crossing against the light and shouting, "I'm texting here! I'm texting here!" Yeah, *rudeness* knows no gender or race.


  • 11 years ago

    That's my point, SW! I can't! You were the one who called me racist, but the only way to construe that is if you thought I was making such determinations by looks alone. You still owe me an apology.

  • 11 years ago

    Nice to hear that courtesy is alive and well some places!

    Where we are, people joke that if a car is observing the speed limit, not tailgating, using signals and coming to a complete stop at a stop sign, it must be a self-driving car . . . .