Pictures are worth a thousand words. Unfortunately that "sketch" does almost no good on it's own.

Get one of those really small cars?

http://www.autobytel.com/coupes/car-buying-guides/9-very-small-cars-120078/

http://www.bankrate.com/finance/auto/small-cars-park-anywhere.aspx

millworkman, call me paranoid, but an image search comes up with google street view and gives away the address (and what will be my new address soon). Already tried it, and I'm not comfortable with people online being able to find the address or where I live.

mxyplux, conveniently, I actually do have a subcompact car.
I also have an aztek (that's probably not many miles from the junkyard).

I feel like the only solution is parking to the right of the house (have to fill in the little drop from the shoulder to the yard). My step father thinks I should tear out the front trees and park in front of the house (same thing with filling in the drop), but I do wonder if that still has to follow the parking 15' away from the fire hydrant rule as it wouldn't be on the street (plus I kind of like those trees).

I was just hoping someone might have a suggestion I haven't considered yet.

Without a picture you will not get much help as a crude sketch does not show the actual setting or topography.

Well... doesn't matter anymore. Some low life SOB broke into the house sometime in the last few days and stole all the copper in the basement. Apparently we won't be able to afford crud now after replacing that... if we even still get it... provided they don't break in again and do more damage. We just met up with our agent there an hour ago. You can imagine I am fuming. So if we do still get the house, it doesn't look like a driveway will be in the budget anyway thanks to low life thieves -_-

How'd they know there was copper in there? Could the SOB be a previous prospective buyer just scoping it out?

If you haven't closed yet, why will it be on your dime to replace the copper? That should be up to the present owners and/ or insurance company.

It's bank owned, and they made it loud and clear that they will not make any repairs. My agent is waiting for a call back to talk to them about locks, security, and potential damage. We were set to move in just over a week. I'm irate. I've been doing numbers and as it stands I can deal with it... but if there is any more damage (what's left to steal are things that would be very costly to fix), then I'll need to back out. The contract was as-is, but say we're doing a walk through the morning of the closing.... if there is more vandalism can I back out without losing my escrow?

Wow, good luck to the bank on selling it if they don't do a better job of protecting it from further damage. Unless it is one heck of a deal, I would play hard ball and back out and of course want my money back. Not an attorney here but why wouldn't you get the escrow back? They let the value diminish.

Have to type this out, so pardon any typos as I'm not looking at the screen. Maybe someone can throw an opinion in based on this. This is one of the articles in the contract (and the most important pertaining to this). I'm no lawyer, and I know that there aren't likely any here... but any other takes on this would be appreciated.

7. Condition of Property. PURCHASER ACKNOWLEDGES AND UNDERSTANDS THAT SELLER ACQUIRED THE PROPERTY BY FORECLOSURE, DEED IN LIEU OF FORECLOSURE FORFEITURE, TAX SALE, RIGHT OF EMINENT DOMAIN OR SIMILAR PROCESS, AND SELLER CONSEQUENTLY HAS NO DIRECT KNOWLEDGE CONCERNING THE CONDITION OF THE PROPERTY AS A MATERIAL PART OF THE CONSIDERATION TO BE RECEIVED BY SELLER UNDER THIS AGREE AS NEGOTIATED AND AGREED TO BY PURCHASER AND SELLER. PURCHASER ACKNOWLEDGES AND AGREES TO ACCEPT THE PROPERTY IN "AS-IS" "WHERE-IS" CONDITION AT THE TIME OF CLOSING, INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION ANY HIDDEN DEFECTS, ENVIRONMENTAL CONDITIONS AFFECTING THE PROPERTY, OR THE EXISTENCE OF MOLD (AS DEFINED BELOW), WHETHER KNOWN OR UNKNOWN, WHETHER SUCH DEFECTS OR CONDITIONS WERE DISCOVERABLE THROUGH INSPECTION OR NOT. PURCHASER ACKNOWLEDGES THAT SELLER, ITS AGENTS AND REPRESENTATIVES HAVE NOT MADE, AND SELLER SPECIFICALLY NEGATES AND DISCLAIMS ANY REPRESENTATIONS, WARRANTIES, PROMISES, COVENANTS, AGREEMENTS OR GUARANTIES, IMPLIED OR EXPRESS, ORAL OR WRITTEN IN RESPECT TO:

(then it goes on to list a bunch of things about structural integrity, mold, paints, improvements, etc. I'll write the part that is relevant)

(c) THE HABITABILITY, MERCHANTABILITY, MARKETABILITY PROFITABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE OF THE PROPERTY OR IMPROVEMENTS, INCLUDING REDHIBITORY VICES AND DEFECTS. APPARENT, NONAPPARENT, OR LATENT WHICH NOW EXIST OR WHICH MAY HEREAFTER EXIST AND WHICH IS KNOWN TO PURCHASER, WOULD CAUSE PURCHASER TO REFUSE TO PURCHASE THE PROPERTY.

I asked this on another thread of the same question regarding the copper theft. Have the police been notified and a report made? What does you agent say?? What does the bank say???

With shark bite fittings you can replace it yourself for the price of parts.

How badly do you want this house. I wouldn't close on it.

durn. too far away!

Joseph, I think a number of factors might influence a person's comfort level with making his/her address known, including but not limited to gender, how many people in the house, whether children live there, crime level in neighborhood, house or condo, and whether or not they own a very large dog.

An armed citizen has no such worries.

Yea so you haven't closed yet.

PURCHASER ACKNOWLEDGES AND AGREES TO ACCEPT THE PROPERTY IN "AS-IS" "WHERE-IS" CONDITION AT THE TIME OF CLOSING.

Push the bank to drop the price to reflect the damage, if they wont then you can either walk away from the property or pay for it yourself. Those are about the only options.

Considering the problems with parking and now you have no water lines... It may be worth it to not close on this house. Who knows what else is wrong with that place and how many break in's have happened.