I have been with my partner for 3 1/2 years,married for almost a year. We have my 3 children live with us-daughter 17,daughter 13,son 12. I have always been a "soft" parent I guess...not good at discipline etc...I know I am too soft for my own good. My oldest daughter is level headed,a bit scatterebrained,but a nice,pleasant girl...my son is a typical boy..kind,happy,a bit careless,loves his soccer...the middle daughter...she's the demanding one!...she is confident,bossy...and,it must be said manipulative. My kids and my husband all get on well,but there are times when middle daughter and husband clash. There are no screaming matches or anything...the latest example was last night. My husband and I work shifts. He leaves each morning at 4am,doing 13/14 hour days. I do a lot of late shifts,i.e.1pm-9,30pm....so...after school on days we are working,my kids go to my aunts or mums for dinner till hubby picks them up. So,when hubby was ready to collect my middle daughter from my aunts he texted her to say he was on his way (the other 2 kids had activities,so weren't there)...he got no reply. He went home,texted again to say he was coming to get her...when he arrived at my aunts,she had walked down to my dads house (10 mins away) to fetch a USB stick. My husband wasnt happy. He was ill all weekend with a cold,had just did a 14 hour day,and found she had left without contacting him. He said he wasnt getting "messed around" and she could walk the other 10 mins to get home!...This started texts conversations between him and I and me and her whilst i was at work. I explained that she should have remained where she was supposed to be till she was picked up-THEN she could have got the USB. She also never walked the remaining 10 mins home,she got fare from my sister,waited "40 mins for a bus"!...when she could have walked home in 10!! (hubby suggested this added to the "drama!") My hubby and I had a conversation about it when i got home. He has NEVER complained about picking the kids up at any time,but if they start messing him around and just waltzing off without telling him,he will make them walk home. He also says my daughter expects to be waited on hand and foot,that she is an EXTREMELY clever,manipulative girl,and he knows the measure of her,which he says she doesnt like. He likes all my kids,and is very good to them...but he wont be messed around. She usually comes down to see me after work,but never appeared out of her room last night. I explained to her that she SHOULD have been where she was meant to and that my hubby was responsible for getting her home safely when I'm working-and when this didnt happen,no wonder we were annoyed and upset. He actually told me she was a spoiled brat last night,and has everyone wrapped round her finger. I do notice my other 2 kids will have banter and laughs with my husband,but this doesnt seem to happen with the middle child. He claims it DOES happen and because of my shifts,i just dont see it,and she doesn't spend as much time with us downstairs anyway. He was not happy at all last night,and he feels she turns things around on him to make him look bad. I know she is a cunning,demanding little diva...she knew she was wrong last night,which is why she's avoided us,but STILL she seems to think Im not "sticking up for her"...and now she's angry/he's angry and I'm at a loss....!!!......he has reprimanded the 2 younger kids when it's been called for in the past,and whilst my son seems to accept it,the middle daughter feels as though he's "on her case"....he says my ex and myself were never tough enough when it was called for (true i guess)...and she doesn't like this,the fact someone DOES have her measure. I just feel so confused when you read replies on here saying..."They're just kids!"....or "they need to be disciplined-you're the adult-they're the kids!"..........."Leave him now! You're kids come 1st!"............."They can't be allowed to ride rough shod over you!"......HHHHELP!