Count us in with the current number of equines at 21. We wish Florida much healing through this difficult time. Never has it been easy to have to choose to put an animal down....no matter what kind it is or the circumstances. As a working ranch we have LOTS of animals, I'm not sure I can even say how many. If there is a connection between roses and animals I agree with the folks above.....its the outdoors and the care we give both. Manure I have used forever here at the ranch on all of the gardening endeavors....all types....but at the nursery...we haven't so much....maybe in time! Here is a link that might be useful: The Old Garden Rose Blog

Of course it is a hostess' obligation to try to make her guests comfortable and tolerate any variations they cause to the normal day to day routine of the house. This should not be too onerous for the hostess - because it is also incumbent upon the houseguests to do their best to make sure that they are pleasant, as little trouble as possible, and hopefully even do small things to show their appreciation for the hostess, if they can. Where I used to live, when my brother would come to visit he'd sleep on my sleeper sofa in the living room. As hostess, and one who got up earlier than him, I'd try to keep quiet so that he could sleep. In such a small place generally that meant I'd have to leave and run errands! When I'd return from errands, as guest, my brother would have sleeper sofa made back up and his personal belongings reasonably tidied up. Having or being a houseguest can be a bit stressful but so long as both parties try to think of what they can do to make it easier for the other person generally all goes fairly well. But, the problem here is that it sounds like the adult skids are not doing their part to follow any etiquette, and if only one party is expected to behave well (DannieB, by being expected to be an accommodating hostess) without any reciprocal attempts by the skids to be good guests, it is natural that she'd begin to feel put-upon and used. She's the hostess - she's not a maid, and she's being taken advantage of (letting their dog on someone's furniture?! Really?!) What if you're at work, and periodically someone runs over to doughnut shop across the street to get breakfast? A colleague might ask if you'd mind getting them a doughnut too, and offers to pay you. You, of course, say yes to the request and no to the offer of payment - it's a doughnut, for heaven's sake! And normally one doesn't quibble over who owes pocket change to whom. Fine - but what happens when ten months later you realize that you are always buying doughnuts for this one person? That person has never reciprocated? Yes, it's just a doughnut - but ten months worth of daily doughnuts start to add up, and no one likes to feel used. Most people are going to not say anything, not cause a scene - but just start quietly slipping out for doughnuts so the colleague doesn't know beforehand, and thus can't ask for another freebie at someone else's expense. DannieB has been putting up with this for twenty years. Her husband won't say anything, the "kids" can't be bothered, she can't tell the kids to go stay at a hotel - there are only two options left for her (well, three if you count divorce and/or murdering the skids, but they're both a bit extreme, LOL!). One is to keep putting up with this, and I'm unaware of any rule of etiquette which says that anyone is obligated to repeatedly put themselves into a position in which they know that they will be taken advantage of, anymore than doughnut person is required to keep announcing intentions to get doughnuts and thus cornered by good manners into buying them, or two, to remove herself from this equation by going to a hotel herself.

This may be a HELLA OLD post, but I stumbled upon it after doing a search about what to do with my very difficult, spoiled & entitled acting 20 yr old step-daughter...normally, I'd never reply, but a post from "theotherside" really caught my attention. It was this: "The stepmothers CHOSE to be in the position they are in. If they did not realize how hard it was going to be, it is because they didn't do enough research, and because they allowed themselves to be blinded by infatuation/love. On the other hand, the biological mother who is now forced to deal with her child having a stepmother had no choice in the matter, especially in those many cases where the father, not the biological mother, chose to divorce." Theotherside, not only do you sound very much like you are CHOKING on sour grapes, you sound INSANE. Yes, step-mothers choose to marry a man with a child, but they DO NOT chose to be disrespected in their home by your brats. Which is the feel I am getting for any child you have, I'm almost 100% certain you have done you're best to "poison the well" against your kids stepmom because by your own admission, you didn't want a divorce so I'm positive that you weren't thrilled when your ex-husband remarried. It's not exactly hard to see why your husband left you, you keep going on & on about you not choosing a stepmom for your kids or wanting a divorce, you quote statistics, spout nonsense facts, all without facing up to your part in the dissolution of your marriage. It takes 2 to fall in love, but unfortunately it doesn't take 2 to fall out. There are usually signs before it happens, but you have to pay attention. Not bury your head & try to ignore it. Your husband divorced you, get over it. Or was the divorce no fault of your own? Were you so perfect that you can be considered blameless? I doubt it... Face up to the realities of your situation & your shortcomings and more than likely, share of personal responsibility for WHY the divorce happened & you might begin to understand the HOW of why you divorced in the first place. The only thing you got right? Yes, stepmom choose to fall in love, even to men with kids, even to men that have a painful history, with a POISONOUS ex like you... One cannot "do enough research" on love or raising kids...it's not possible, these types of situations are learn as you go, like on the job training...there is no way to train to be a perfect parent or wife, but you can try to be a better person, which is advice I wish you would take. Because you sound like a miserable, awful human being. I do feel very, very sorry for your children's step mother I'm certain you make her life absolute hell.

Prairiemoon2, thanks so much for taking the time to give that information! I am definitely not unhappy with the way it looks...I just want it to be cluttered AND healthy! Yes, I'm afraid I've planted a lot of vigorous things, including obedient plant and evening primrose (gulp). I've been astounded at how black eyed susan, coneflower, and yarrow have reseeded this year. I've carefully relocated around 50 seedlings of each type! The yarrow I have in my front garden (also added last year) was over 3' tall before a heavy rain knocked it down. I love my catmint, love the baptisia, love everything, really! I got the baptisia from a local woman. It was huge and took my husband 15 or 20 minutes to dig it up. Root got really chopped and we definitely didn't get the whole root...didn't get any bloom or much growth last year...this year it's been wonderful. I'm getting ready to plow up a large field behind our house and am going to make a massive cutting/perennial garden there. So all little seedlings, garden bullies, and "just don't fit"s will be relocated there in a couple of weeks! The biggest challenge, for me, is the confusion over care. Some things like to be transplanted...some don't. Some like a nice chop mid-summer and will bloom again...some won't. Some can be propagated by root cuttings, others by stem. Some reseed like crazy and others are apparently sterile and can't be grown by seed. Some grow and spread like crazy and others remain in tidy clumps. Some can be direct sown (their seeds), others require stratification. Then there's all the light/soil/moisture requirements, which are different for different plants. It's been a bit overwhelming and I've been doing a lot of reading, as time permits! This has been a wonderful learning experience and I'm really enjoying it. Oursteelers, I was definitely planning on leaving the baptisia. I know the flowers are short-lived, but I love the foliage. I will read up on the lupine...that's one of the ones I was planning to move in the fall. It is - you guessed it - smashed up right against the baptisia, which is getting larger by the day! :)