Else, I understand, DH is one of 10 kids (kids: the youngest now 55), and they are the 'getting together-est' family you have ever seen.

I could write volumes on crowded holidays and endless clean up, but for now, could I just suggest possibly simplifying the menu. Our Christmas Eve for example is no longer turkey, ham and all the side dishes for both, but a simple pork loin dinner with potatoes, gravy, rolls, salads. Buffet style.

Another idea is having entire family gatherings where everyone can be together and see each other not on the actual holidays, but in summer, when food may be more casual and not everyone is inside at once.

I second the simple menu and delegating.

Our Thanksgiving is always at the same cousin's. Everybody knows what they're expected to bring year to year, plus we'll discuss something extra when it's needed. We sometimes bring folding chairs when there's a crowd. It's a pretty low key holiday where everyone is nice and the food is traditional, but not show-offy. And it's always buffet.

For Passover, however, I have the kind of numbers you're facing if all the cousins come (and many more if the out of towners converge). I have battle plans. The extra chairs and tables, and the tablecloths, come from a rental place that hauls them up the stairs and sets them up. Renting the cloths saves a ton on laundry, and lets me choose the most "in" color every year. We have a wheeled garment rack that breaks down for storage and a box of hangers. Buckets for umbrellas when necessary, and if it's too big a crush, the coats, with a second rack, and all go on the front porch. There's a ledge in the kitchen where people can put dishes they've brought, but nothing goes in the fridge unless it has a reservation booked ahead of time. I have extra serving spoons and platters, etc., but the dish had better arrive ready to go, perhaps with some unmolding, or you can go on the patio to finish it.

Because we have a full service with commentary and songs, I do have a lot of bopping up and down to check things in the kitchen, but my part of the menu is specifically chosen as things that can manage with indeterminate minding, so it often looks like Thanksgiving with the big turkey. This year, however, I got an immersion sous vide regulator, and used my medium sized roaster as the water bath, and did turkey roulades sous vide. MAGIC! You prep and seal them a couple days in advance, and put them to cook hours before guests arrive and it doesn't matter if it just keeps going an hour more because it's held at a constant temperature. Just rest briefly and slice! My lamb roasts, done the conventional way, were just a tad over in the oven. All the veg are things that will hold hot for a couple of hours, or which can be cooked in the time it takes for the meat to rest. Desserts are done days ahead or brought by guests. There are NO PAVLOVAS!!! It's a beautiful confection, and appropriate to the holiday, but talk about something that needs to be fussed over!

If you get pushback after modifying the menu/format to suit your desires and ability to cope, just say all those traditions were for the little kids who are grown-ups now and the new kids need their own traditions. Or else, "Too bad. If you want to do it that way, you do it." :)

Even a 25 lb. roast turkey is portable. If all else fails, get some earplugs and farm out all of the dishes to the guests. It's the people who are important and not what you eat. If the cleanup is too much, it'll help if people are taking their pots and dishes home to wash themselves. And use paper plates! I had Seder two nights before demolition of my old kitchen. My dishes had been packed first, months previously. I borrowed some pots. Got a red tablecloth and white paper plates. It looked fab! And was made out of nothing. You can do it too. Just make a list of everything you don't want to cope with and then figure out if you can cut it, change it, delegate it, or rearrange it.

I've sure hosted a lot of big parties, and I hate it when everyone brings a dish! it gets confusing when say, someone brings oyster stuffing and another bread stuffing and someone brings sweet potatoes and another brings a different sweet potato dish and someone is vegan so they bring mashed potatoes without butter nor cream.....etc etc!
Perhaps you could have the turkey catered and brought in sliced with the stuffing and gravy, then plan the rest of the meal, and tell everyone they are NOT to bring food unless asked. Then delegate! Ask one person for rolls, and another for a relish tray, and perhaps 2 more for pies....but do not tolerate un assigned goods nor last minute flowers that have to be arranged.
Set tables for people and find a spot for the buffet, and another for the drinks station, out of the way of the food!

It is all about family....and because the size of the family is increasing, the type of dinner you have has to change too. No more carefully set formal table, and no more "bring a dish" you need a plan and stick to it. Frankly I am surprised that all the kids and their spouses and kids still want to come. Usually one family wants to go to 'his" house for ?thanksgiving and another to "her" family....be very glad they still want to come to your house, you must be doing something right!

To clarify, when everyone brings a dish to our Thanksgiving, it's assigned by the hostess. Last year, besides my every year assignment, I was asked to bring a hot vegetable dish and a non-pie dessert. It works very well.

Else,

I think getting together for holidays is a good thing. But I'm with you, it can be overwhelming. Last year (and probably now in subsequent years) we gathered at my son's house and brought covered dishes. Everyone had fun and in subsequent family gatherings during the year the covered dish part has improved (the first time, I ended up bringing most of the meal).

It is not always a traditional meal, people just bring what they like to cook, but these gatherings are happy and fun.

Since I am now older and have had many holiday get togethers, I now do a lot of the cooking and we take the food to one of the daughter's homes. I don't feel I can clean house and fix food both. Of course the kids bring food, the girls do, We all pitch in with the clean up afterward. There are not that many of us in our family now. Even when we used to go to my parents, Mother would fix the meat, lots of other food and rolls and my sister and I would provide a lot of the other food. We always have turkey. We always have plenty to eat. Always served buffet style.

There are only about ten or eleven in our family now.

Sue

I have pondered this too. I am the oldest in my family and I remember when I was a child my mom doing all the cooking for my dad's family. No one ever helped her as children we may have set the table but she did everything else even drove to pick up my grandmother and aunt. No one brought any dishes either. When I married and was a young mother with small children my mother in law had the dinner and all the siblings and grandchildren and nieces and nephews and brothers and sisters were expected to be in attendance at her home. Some brought food most didn't. Now as i sit here reflecting on the holidays of the past and realize that I am now the oldest in the family and I have done my share of the dinners my sisters just pitch in and help with it all. If it is at my home I have the tables set and serving dishes labeled so I know what goes were and don't worry about we just love to be together with the family. We have also let a restaurant do the cooking but it isn't the same as being in a home for the dinner. Please don't forget those neighbors who are older and don't have any family to enjoy or eat with. Loneliness is so hard for older people. Either invite them to your home or take them a plate of food if they can't get out. Enjoy the time together with family, young and old. I remember so many holidays with my family over the years such good memories. Even that kids table in the living room in front of the fireplace. Relax and have fun, don't worry about the food and how the house looks it will be a mess as soon as everyone leaves. Enjoy your family. If it is too much for you ask others to help, assign dishes for them to bring.

We moved it to my sister's house when mom got to feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes, we potluck it. That seems to be her preference. She'd rather have the meal at her home, but not have to cook it all. Find where you feel most comfortable and your family who loves you will understand!

I have 5 siblings, DH has 4. Almost all are married. When our kids were young holiday dinners were always at grandmas. That would be 25-30 each time. It was too much for our moms after awhile.

We all made the decision to have Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, whatever dinner in our own homes with our own kids. One of us always invited the grandparents also. I wanted my kids to have their memories of dinners at my house.

For many years after starting our new tradition we all would meet at the grands for coffee/tea and desserts. Everyone brought something so the grandmother's didn't have to make anything. It worked for us for a long time. Both my parents are gone now, and my in-laws are getting up there, plus my father-in-law has alzheimers. It's a horrible thing to have to deal with. And he just cannot take all the commotion anymore.

Maybe it's time for new traditions, like dessert only at grandmas? I also like the idea of renting a room. Really like that idea. That way there's plenty of room for everyone and no one's house is trashed! Good luck.

I will never give up Thanksgiving...helped my grandmother do it, and have been hosting it for over 45 years.

In our family we also have large get Thanksgiving togethers. The host usually provides the turkey and coffee (and whatever else they want to make) and everyone else brings the sides, desserts and beverages. Everything is coordinated so we don't have multiple dishes of sweet potatoes and no cranberry sauce. When I host I use a roaster to cook meat out on the porch or in the garage, which leaves the oven open for warming side dishes. That is for a group of 15 adults and 10 kids. Not sure what will happen when those kids start having kids. Fortunately we have 10 years before that is a factor - we hope!

In a previous life (with my former in laws), we rented a huge B&B on occasion. Everyone pitched in $20 or whatever to cover the cost - that was always fun and eliminated the stress of cleaning beforehand.

Yep - tell everyone you aren't hosting this year - let them 'host' you from now on. I stopped hosting about 10 years ago and TG goes on at my son's house.

When my kids were small we had 2 of everything. 2 Thanksgiving dinners 2 Christmas, one at my parent's and one my hubby's parents. It was expected by the in laws. My mom said just go to the inlaws and don't worry about our house. I had the greatest mom. My kids never enjoyed the inlaws house. No toys to play with there and I had to pack up things for the kids to play with. But moving to another state was so hard for my kids. No family for the holidays. The first year we went to a big cafeteria in the area so that everyone could have a choice of what they wanted. Next year the kids wanted to stay home. It wasn't the same for them. The kids missed the tradition. So one year one of our sons had a friend that spent Thanksgiving day hanging out at our house and when dinner was ready and that kid was still there i asked our son when is he going home to have his dinner and my son said, his parents went out of town and he has no one at his house. Now I knew why that kid was hanging out. He joined us for thanksgiving dinner and he was so grateful. Told me it was the best dinner he had ever had. That his mom didn't cook like that. That made my thanksgiving. As an adult today that son still does bring that lone person home to feed on a holiday. Or anytime.

I have four siblings and a small house with a small kitchen. Several years ago, when everyone had kids, we all decided to have Thanksgiving with our own immediate families. My parents have come to my house sometimes, but since my sister moved back to town she has Thanksgiving with them. Not trying to get everyone in one place really works out much better, although as many have pointed out, it means you don't get to see each other as often. Our party includes my stepson's mother (i.e., DH's ex-wife) and her husband, so that stepson doesn't have to attend two abbreviated events. I usually have between six and eight people, although I could probably handle ten. I prefer to prepare the whole meal.

I do know a family that has a tradition of going to a restaurant now that the kids are grown and also have children. I think it came about because Grandma, the matriarch, could no longer host at her home, but she didn't want to give up being the hostess. They can have the meal together, then go back to one house to hang out together, no clean-up required. And they have found a nice restaurant that puts on a luxe buffet, so everyone has just what he or she likes.

I personally would not find it enjoyable to do Thanksgiving for 35 people, or even 20, even if my house were big enough and people brought food. I give you all a lot of credit if you do. If it's getting too much for you, Else, I hope you can find a way to do something you can be comfortable with.

Else, I see in your post that it's not just about getting stressed when it's at your home, it's when it's anywhere. And that you're not hosting this year but you're still getting stressed this far in advance. There's nothing wrong with your feelings - it's stressful for you and that's understandable!

This year, being hosted at someone else's home, can you take something that doesn't have to be reheated or chilled? Perhaps you can be responsible for the rolls or something like that. Then those that brought things that need organizing or last minute prep can take care of those things themselves (hopefully not interfering with whatever the host/ess is doing.

With respect to the noise, unfortunately, I don't know of anything that you can do to resolve that. Sorry.

Suzieque

I miss the big family holiday get-togethers that were always held at my parents' house!!! So many from the family are no longer with us -- and the remaining younger family members would rather be elsewhere now.

Paper or plastic plates, plastic or styrofoam cups / glasses. And delegate. Let some bring apple or pecan pies and others rolls, salads, and green bean casseroles. I think you will be stuck with the turkey as the host, but everything else can be delegated out.

Good luck and enjoy it this time!

I host 11 immediate family members and we are still able to squeeze around the table when everyone comes. We include our 3 adult kids, two spouses, 2 grandsons and my sister and brother-in-law. Some holidays my two married kids often are scheduled to be with their in-laws, so we can be as small a gathering as 5 if the married kids are with the in-laws. My sister brings a few of the dishes, but lately she and I have welcomed the assistance of our kids to get it all done.

I don't know how I would do it if we had as many as 30!

We eat out. It must sound terrible to some of you.

Last year we ate in a very nice restaurant, typical Thanksgiving fare, afterwards we walked around the adjacent upscale shopping area. Weather was perfect. It was very pleasant and relaxed, just chatting, window shopping, laughing, interacting with the kids. My DIL's father said something like I love this, being together. I agreed.

Our girls that live close have taken over and that is just fine with me. I often help with the getting things ready on the big day.

For those who are put off by bigger numbers, it's really just a matter of organization, and having the right sized pots and pans. For instance, when it's three dozen, rather than half that, you don't serve baby turnips. It takes as long to prep a single baby turnip as a great big turnip. So you just make the choice that no matter how good baby turnips are, they're not the right thing to make for a crowd. Because the pans are larger, you might need an extra cooking chamber or two.

A Nesco roaster is just as good for reheating casseroles as it is for roasting a turkey. A crockpot can be used to make the out-of-bird stuffing, or the gravy, or whatever you think of. As I mentioned above, sous vide, which is available at an accessible price nowadays (especially if you already have a vacuum sealer, or if you have large canning jars to use as "pots") and it's kind of magical. All these spare appliances can go in an area that isn't going to be used during company, like a laundry room/area, home office, garage, guest room, etc., etc. Choose one on a different circuit than the kitchen. Just put of a sign or something not to forget to serve what's out of sight. If you don't have any of these things, ask friends and neighbors, who are only cooking one dish to take to grannies for their holidays, to borrow.

Growing up, we all went to grandma's for thanksgiving. when I got married and moved half way across the country, we all went to my new husband's house for thanksgiving. Me, my husband, his sister and her husband and her husband's parents. then we had a couple of kids and my husband's sister had a couple of kids, and we all still went to Grandma's for thanksgiving. Then one year my husband;s sister decided they would no longer come for thanksgiving ( it was a 4 hour drive and they usually spent the whole weekend, but both her and his parents lived in this town, so they got to spend time with both). They wanted their kids to "remember their own traditions". So we continued the big family gatherings, and soon Grandma could no longer do it all so the meal was at our house....and I started having grand kids so we were more around a table. But my kids travelled 4 hours to be "home for thanksgiving with the family". and when the inlaws kids got married, they went to their inlaws with the big family gathering. the last few years my husband's sister and her husband have spent Thanksgiving alone. My grown kids with their own grown kids now host a huge gathering for their new families and I divide my time between. One year with one family and then another year with the other family.
My point in all this is, if your kids and their kids and the sisters and brothers enjoy it, please continue to host, you are creating memories and holding the family together....however much of a pain it is for that day....and a few days before and after.

Forgive me if I'm repeating, I have not read all the responses.

Here's an idea for delegation:

Make each of the younger gen captain of one group of food or task items:

Pregame snacks, starches, vegetables, desserts, ice & beverages, setting & clearing, dish-washing - what ever you decide the categories are.
That captain is then responsible for enlisting team members and coordinating them.
Vegetable captain makes sure there are not 5 green bean casseroles, for example. The dish washing captain is responsible for recruitment and retention of that team.
The captains (or whatever you call them) are responsible for receiving and placing the dishes, finding serving utensils, etc.

Then, you enlist one person to help you with the turkey or main dish. This could be someone who wants to learn from you
or maybe one of your contemporaries who is unable to host.

Could be a less than perfect occasion? Possibly, but the younger folks will be taking on some responsibility and maybe you'll have fun memories to laugh about for years to come.

4 kids, and 9 grands....we manage cause it's always buffet, and we sit from the sofa to the floor. everyone brings to share except dd who lives 3 hours away. she does the breads....we keep it to a simple turkey, dressing, the share sides and dessert. sad to say we've had 2 divorces so one xsil and one less dil...I do insist on the turkey as I like one certain brand...

Susan, that is sad about the divorces. We had a couple, too, among the cousins, but the local ex still came to Thanksgiving and, later, brought his second wife. Who became friends with his first wife. I think his parents came too. After all, they all wanted to spend the holiday with the kids, and since everyone was pleasant about it, it all worked out.

When the group is so large people cannot sit it is time to move to a different venue. 25 for a sit down dinner in a modest home would be a top limit IMHO. A good friend of mine, married into a family that rented the local town hall where everyone could come, move around, eat and no one had that chaos in their home. It worked beautifully. It is potluck style with one person organizing who is bringing what..how perfect if your people already have their special dish and will bring it. I would invest in some take out trays and share the leftovers as everyone was leaving.

Over 35 years ago we decided that the Christmas on my husband's side would be at the town hall. Even though all agreed to it. We said never again. It did not seem like Christmas to any of us. After that we went back to the old way. If you want to eat at a nice place around here you would probably drive many miles! So foam plates and cups it is and we like it that way. Sometimes though we do have nice plates and tableware. It just depends how all are feeling about it. I like planning the meals and fixing them. Let the younger ones provide a place and do the clean up.

Sue

My sister has taken over a lot of the entertaining though I have usually done a lot of it in the past. She has her fancy eating table as she calls the pool table like from the Beverly hillbillies. Though they are far from hillbillies. But they put plywood on the felt to cover it and a nice tablecloth over it and serve the food from it. I have a hard time with steps and I usually can not climb up to the dining room so we all eat in the den, sitting on the sofas and a small table that she uses for crafts and the children use their small table. Everyone has a lot of fun laughing eating and just keeping in touch. There are about 20 of us all together. More if our extended family comes from Ohio to Georgia. Fun, family and good food.

Like someone else said, you don't have to have a traditional meal. The last couple Christmas', we've been having Lasagna, a salad and bread. About 4 of us make a pan of lasagna (a veggie one for the non meat eaters). Plop four pans of lasagna in the oven and an hour later, waa laa, dinner is served. :)

I am in New England, and since Mom and Dad have passed on, the rest of the family seems to be in Chicago or Florida. Eventually all but me in Florida.

Back in my formative days, we rotated between the Grandparents in Kentucky and us up in New York, and no one ever heard a whisper about that brain-idiotic thing called "football". (Seriously, I'd just about rather listen to hard-core rap than football plays). My bro now lives in the Chicago area, and he has unfortunately gotten a belated interest in football,which was certainly not part of our family heritage -- but then again I have my own unique habits. I['m just not going to share them/foist them on others - at Thanksgiving!

I have no interest in spending an excess of money to fly out and participate in a meal presented in front of the boob tube. I'd rather fly out and visit when we can interact together as humans... They're wonderful folks, but I can and do find a better time these years to interact in a great fashion!

That being said, I spent about 8 years going up to a friend's Thanksgiving feast. I brought onion bread, or salads. When I brought something that needed to be heated, I reminded them I was 2 hours away, and was this okay? (Notify your host!)

There was another gathering with a lot of people that happened annually (every May). Since my last name was at the end of the alphabet, I was always requested to bring a dessert for the culminating pot luck. I finally rebelled. I am probably one of the vast minority of the population on this planet who really doesn't enjoy most desserts. I have a SAVORY tooth! I want and long to create a dish that people can SAVOR! When I finally one year e-mailed the organizer asking for an exemption, she was willing to comply. So, if you do request a certain type of dish from each of your potential attendees, give them some lee-way.

My family has changed too. With my son and his girlfriend now having a child of their own, traditions are different. She has her family, which is a blended family, and we have ours. My daughters boyfriend has no relationship with his family so it's easier for her. We have Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter dinner at my house. I do all the cooking. The kids do all the cleaning. My son isn't crazy about Christmas Day any more now that he has to spend some of it with his girlfriends family, but I told him life changes and so do traditions. They could always just have their dinner at their house with just the 3 of them. But his girlfriend can't cook turkey dinners so they would probably just have tv dinners. lol I never ask anyone to bring anything. This year dinner will be easy to buy. I'm saving my Superstore Points for dinner, and so far have $50 to put towards it. The turkey and ham will be free. I've set aside $$ for gifts, (thanks to this group I've put $25 a week away since January for gifts so I don't have to worry about where that's coming from).

No matter what the tradition is, and what it's changing to, this is the perfect time to start telling people it's going to be different. That gives them a couple of months to get used to the idea. :)

OH WOW!!!! Thank you everyone for such great help!! I will be taking a lot of notes, that's for sure! My family has always delegated as far as who brings what, but I tend to make too many dishes myself if I'm the one hosting. It just seems to make sense at the time as everyone has a bit of a drive to get here, so it's tricky (but not impossible!!) to keep things hot. I got to delegate more.

I think I'm going to delegate jobs for the kids as well, such as lining up shoes and putting away coats, getting rid of empty juice bottles, trash etc., stuff that anyone can do and I don't want to even have to think about it. Kids can do these things. And my own kids are old enough to be in charge of heating and serving one dish each, easily. I'm already working on a list, yay!!

Good for you.....and remember....as much of a job and a pain it is now....0 or 30 years from now your kids will remember the wonderful holidays at Mom's.

Great ideas!

Re bringing hot, picnic coolers are great, especially the kind with insulated hard walls, like an Oscar. Wrap the dishes, hot from the oven, in steamy towels and slip into the "cooler". Keep the lid shut until just about ready to serve. If the cooler is cold, you can preheat it by putting a hot pot or brick in it. If the dish is bigger than the cooler, you can lay the cooler on its back and put the dish in sideways--just remember when you get there to grab it first before volunteer helpers lift by the handle and dump it. Maybe tape a sign to it saying hands off or do not lift. If no cooler is available, the same steamy towels, wrapped in blankets, then placed in a box lined with scrunched newspaper will work. Just be aware when bringing a hot dish, of cooling vents and make sure they don't blow on the dish. :)

Suzieque,
Thank you for such a heart felt response, I appreciate you being so understanding! It actually is when I'm hosting at my own house that I feel stressed, and though it's not my turn this year it stresses me to think about when it's my turn again. I can see how I did not express myself very clearly, sorry!

When someone else hosts, it's much better. But it's such an undertaking for me when I host here at our own house, even with my husband helping. I actually do pretty well until the last hour before we eat, when everyone start arriving with their stuff, greetings, asking where to put stuff while I'm trying to figure out what next to do with my food. Then they ask if they can help and I have no idea, I just can't think! LOL! My brain finds itself in a dense fog.

So many great ideas! I will definitely be hosting again, I'm actually getting a bit excited about it! But one option, if need be, could be to eat Thanksgiving dinner at a restaurant, then right away afterwards go to one of our houses for desserts and fellowship like Ginny20 mentioned. I do feel like I have a lot of new ideas now though, so thanks again!!

Everyone has given really great information. The only thing I have to add is something we did several years ago. We moved it to October and we celebrate the Canadian Thanksgiving (my mother - and all her family, sister, and brother were/are Canadians, and my dad grew up there, and his parents moved from Kansas to homesteaded in Saskatchewan with a number of my grandfather's family). Canadian Thanksgiving is also Columbus Day in the U.S. and a National Holiday where all our family had the day off.

It was crazy making a 12-hour trip in November just to turn around a month later and make it again for Christmas. In October the weather is more predictable, the trees are usually just beginning to turn, the highways aren't congested, and it's a much nicer time of the year for us and the rest of our family. Sometimes change is good..... and for that, I'm thankful. ;-)

-Grainlady

Check out some of your local restaurants and grocery stores that do Thanksgiving dinners, ask how much they charge per person for a complete meal, tell everyone what you are going to do and how much it will cost each person. Maybe you can do dessert and coffee. That's what a friend of mine does for her family reunions and it works out great.

To be honest, buying a T-day pre-cooked dinner from Safeway was better than what my MIL made. LOL, she was a sweetie but cooking was not her favorite ting to do!

When we bought a home and moved closer to my family it became MUCH easier. We all love to cook so we potluck it. Do an e-mail round-robin in late October and figure out the menu. Sometimes we do a theme, although there's always roast turkey because my niece loves to make turkey soup with the carcass afterwards, so she roasts it at home and brings it over. '

My ex-BIL usually hosts the holidays because he has the biggest and best house for entertaining. He's a vegetarian, so he likes to come up with interesting dishes he can eat. We usually bring at least one starter and something else.

Fortunately, there's only 8 of us plus 3 kids. We usually invite friends to join us to make it around 12-15. My family is notorious for making tons of food and giving people leftovers to take home.

Plllog, thank you for ALL of your help! I love all the specifics!
For those of you who order the meal from a store, how do you heat it? For me, it would be a significant amount of food to order for such a large family, so I'm not sure how I could get it all hot in a timely manner...? Or do they deliver or you pick it up already hot? Cause THAT sounds nice!

pillog, one was well deserved...sil decided he liked the nanny more than my dd...the other was more subtle...dil had a great personal company, but was "fired" as the company went in-house for claims. she never tried to get another company, and about broke them, doing exactly what she had before, spending $ on my dgd's...even now she's cutting hours from her pt job at a local hospital and is going to one of those private schools which isn't cheap...thank goodness her mom is picking up her rent, cause while ds1 has a good job, he sure can't afford 2 homes...I am trying to remain as neutral as possible, with her...

else, haven't bought an entire mean but my mom eons ago would go to safeway for their smoked turkeys...it came in a alum pan, so would refridg till time to reheat...i'm assuming the stores do the veggies, and potatoes the same way...reheat at a certain temp and serve. we doll up premade slaw with tiny marshmellows and well drained crushed pineapple...easy on the dressing as the pineapple adds some moisture...omg it's late and i'm getting hungry, lol...

You pick it up already hot. And if you order it that way, it is already sliced in a pan without the bones.
But really it's so easy to just plop a turkey into a roaster ( after removing the bag inside!) and fill a casserole with Pepperidge Farms stuffing.....which will taste every bit as good as what you would get from most catering places. If the whole thing freaks you out....order the salads, rolls, pies, relish trays from a deli.Do your own veggie using bagged frozen stuff in the micro>
And you will still have that turkey to pick on that evening and for sandwiches the next day.

I just remembered a funny thing from my past! When I was in high school, one of my friends (both parents worked and neither was a very good cook) mentioned how her family had Thanksgiving in a box.

At the time I thought she was just being silly and making a joke but several years later, when I was doing my Thanksgiving shopping, I actually saw it in the store!

Maybe an option?

FWIW, my family actually doesn't have a "traditional" meal at Thanksgiving. No one likes turkey so we have either brisket or ham, or roast, or.... The past few years my husband has smoked a few Cornish game hens.

The only definite's we have every year is some type of potato dish (mashed, roasted, au gratin), some type of sweet potato dish, some type of bread, some type of stuffing, 2 different meat offerings and cherry cream cheese pie. ;)

I'm glad too because when I took over hosting duties from my mom several years ago, I did NOT want to prepare the same d*mn dishes every single year. I LIKE to cook and making the same meal, year after year, is boring.

I try to keep 2 or 3 things the same every year, despite how boring it is for me, but the rest I get to experiment with.

One year I made apricot glazed baby carrots, the next year I made stuffed mushrooms.

Dessert and appetizers are where I really experiment!!! Though I will say I've made 2 appetizers that are so appealing to everyone that they are requested every year, leaving me less room to create new ones.

I note that you reported that there was some confusion about where folks could put their contributions, so assume that the current practice is to have a number of folks bring various parts of the meal, but it was the issue of where everything should be placed that was troublesome. If you had an idea of the size of the dish, perhaps have a paper labelled with each of the dishes on the serving area beforehand, so that arranging could be done earlier, which would be helpful in keeping the dishes in the proper sequence.

If you'd need to heat more things than convenient, perhaps put a microwave into a different room, on a different electrical circuit. If several such were needed, possibly it wouldn't be too difficult to have a guest or two bring a microwave along, to plug in in another room.

ole joyful

We have our kids and there families on Christmas Eve. We do it early so the kids can get in bed early for Santa the next day. Then we go to each of their houses on Christmas Day to see what Santa has brought. My family never gets together. My husbands family still do the Christmas thing. We have it early in December. We used to have it in our homes but there are to many now. We rent a building for the day. We take turns. We have a situation where brother and sister married brother and sister so our families are melted together anyway. There are 4 on each side so we do it in pairs. The ones who's turn it is pays for the building, meat, dinnerware, drinks and Santa. Everyone else brings the food. There are between 50 and 60 of us,. My problem is the one we were paired up with didn't want to do it so we do it by ourselves. It ends up to be almost $400.00. This will be our 5th and last time to do it.. Everyone else only pays half. No one has offered to help us.. I refuse to be taken advantage of again.

There is no reason why everyone can't bring food to help with the meal. The expense for food for a group is so expensive these days. Less stress for the host if you can get some help, too. Make a list of what you would like to go with your meat you are serving and ask what others would like to bring. That way you know and will be able to fill in with what is needed. You should be able to enjoy the day, too.

Joyful, what a couple of fabulous ideas!I hope I will remember them in a couple of months. :)

I don't remember whether I already commented, so I'll comment again. My problem is in not assigning dishes to various people; I ask them what they'd like to bring and work around that. I think this year I'll plan a bit better. I also won't allow our friends to have a casual get-together in the morning as they all ate too much, cutting down on appetites. I was a little peeved, in a friendly way, over that one.

Sjerin, I'm not sure what kind of get together it was where people overate, but the solution is to let them come and schmooze, but not give them much to eat. Have them for continental breakfast and give them a small roll, croissant or muffin, a pat of butter and a packet of jam. Maybe a fancy coffee or tea if you want to bother. Or if they're off carbs, give each a single soft boiled egg. The eating should be more of a way to occupy their hands, than their mouths. :)

Oh, I didn't explain well enough. These are very good friends, several couples and kids which our kids have grown up with who decided to have the morning get-together at one of their houses before coming to ours. I think it was a spur-of-the-moment idea, but I won't allow it this year!