BB, I'm 62 and have to force myself to take gardening breaks. Wasn't something I ever did; now it's a necessity. At least I'm still able to do everything I want in the yard, albeit at a different pace.

Fortunately I'm retired so waking up half a dozen times every night to toss covers isn't that disruptive. It's been ongoing for 16 years and probably will continue till the day I die. Oh well.

My wakeup call came two years ago when I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis. Over the course of a few days I felt like I aged 30 years. Drugs are giving me a new lease on life. Have the occasional flareup, but they're manageable.

Try not to stress over what you can't do; be grateful for what you can.

Well, yeah, I think when you get to be a certain age, even if you are healthy, there are some days that you just don't quite have the energy (or motivation) you once had.

I'm 67 and consider myself in excellent health and level of fitness right now. I too have worked at it steadily since my early 40's at least and I think it has paid off. Yes, Jack Lalanne was right...there are aches and pains that come with it every day. But I am running at about the same pace with a couple of 48 year old women in my group and another who is in her 30's so I am happy with that.

Today I was at a routine appointment with the neurologist I go to for migraines. When I was checking out the receptionist asked me to repeat my birth date. She smiled and said, 'boy, you sure don't look your age!' I was flattered, but I do get that a lot. My DGD (15) always tells me I dress & look well for my age. Biggest love ever! And attitude means a lot too. I see so many people with a frown in their faces when I am out. Why? Are they really unhappy or afraid to relax and smile?

Bumblebee! I think we just need to not feel guilty about Our inability to work all day in our gardens, be happy for our health, and keep on doing what we can to stay on this side of the dirt.

Yikes. I turn 50 next month. I actually met Jack Lalanne in the 90's when I used to work in the health food industry. He looked fantastic and exuded the most wonderful energy. As a kid I used to wake up really early and do my exercises with him and his dog before Captain Kangaroo came on.

At 25, my body was hot. I could stay up and party every night and work all day. I worked two jobs, one full time and the second at 30 hours a week during sales and holidays. But I would never go back to those years because I'm so much more comfortable with myself.

That being said, having a rotten thyroid has really aged me over the past ten or twelve years. It didn't help that I went undiagnosed for years before finding someone that would help me. I'm still struggling with that and all the fun stuff that comes with it along with peri. I'm sound asleep now well before the hour I would start getting ready to go out when I was 25. Along with being 45+ lbs heavier.......well, you know the rest

This year I made a huge change...I changed jobs after 16 years. It's a big risk, but along with some other benefits it's given me a chance to add some balance to my life. I'm back doing Pilates, which is a huge help, along with walking, eating better (although when I travel solo, I usually eat out of Whole Foods) and spending much more time off planes and in my own time zone. I expect it to take at least two years to get my physical self back together, but I am already feeling somewhat better.

Anyone else out there going through something similar? Oh, and here's a great card I found last year in NYC..

Health wise I am good and I actually think a lot is the mattress. It is old and a pillowtop and foam pad have not helped. It was time several years ago or more but I endured as other things got in the way. However, after two absolutely miserable nights I knew I was buying a mattress that weekend.

It has seemed frivolous that my sleep is all about a mattress though.

15 minutes in Macy's was all it took. ( haha, and no obsessing, comparing prices, checking reviews, dithering!)

I have much to be grateful about and am glad it's September! I hate the heat.

Thank you everyone for your encouragement and kind words.

~ aka the princess and the pea

This subject is something I have been thinking about recently. I am going to hit 70 this December and although none of my other birthdays bothered me this one certainly is. I lost my husband 14 years ago, my youngest (12) at the time turned to drugs, I lost my father, aunt and brother all within 2 years and still seemed able to cope. 5 years ago I sold my house after spending several months cleaning and disposing of 25 years of accumulation, bought a house and moved,retired and two months later was diagnosed with colon cancer. The years since that diagnosis have aged me more than I could have imagined. I never would have believed that stress and grieving could cause so much physical change and not in a good way.

The past two years have been much better and I count my blessings-clean and sober daughter, new friends, new grandchildren etc. I am still wondering where all the years have gone. Wasn't I just 40?

The years do fly by, satine. My dad died fourteen years ago too and I just cannot believe it has been that long. It was a trying time with all three of my previous generations relatives in different hospitals at the same time. I'm glad to read that you are better recently and that your daughter and grandchildren are giving you joy. I think our relationships with other people become more important as we age. I treasure my brothers and friends.

If not for the betrayal of my joints I think I would just sort of stay in denial. I'm gong to hit 56 in six months and it seems so unbelievable that I could be that age.

I'm 62 and can't complain about any aches & pains yet. My problems seem to result from having an underactive thyroid. I used to be able to stick to a diet but boy, is it ever hard to do that now. I keep telling myself that I really should find some weight loss program and try and drop about 35 lbs. I often have heartburn and imagine it's coming from carrying extra weight. It's somewhat comforting to see Candice Bergen carrying extra weight. She has the thyroid excuse too.

Perhaps perimenopause? What kind of mattress did you buy? We are in the market for one, but I absolutely DREAD looking and have not made myself do so yet! LOL Loss of sleep can certainly make you feel awful. Hope the new mattress helps! I am not fond of the heat, but love summer and all the outdoor activities. I'm holding on as long as I can! LOL (90ish here)

Such a thought-provoking thread.

This bit is selling her book, but she clearly makes the point about how much of aging is in our head and in our culture. She was on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday and I loved her line that getting older wasn't optional, but that aging was....

satine, I'm sorry for all of your losses. Grief can certainly take its toll as well as illness, and the interaction between the two can be even worse. I'm sure my mother's cancer was aggravated by all the unresolved grief she felt. I'm glad that you seem to be on the upswing.

You all would sleep like babies if you would cut the wheat out of your diet. Seriously. For 31 years I listened to my DH toss,turn,snore, and stop breathingwith sleep apnea. Cut the wheat out, and not a month later, he is SLEEPING .All night. No snoring, no apnea.

Annie, i loved both of those links, thanks! I am going to see if our library has Dr. Northrup's book. I migh even buyit for the senior center.

65. Feel and look (I'm told) much younger. Exercise regularly, watch my diet, enjoy keeping up with fashion, hair styles, beauty products, and hobbies. I think part of aging well is working at it (diet/exercise), part is attitude (being excited about life), and part is dumb luck (good health, happy relationships, good genes, financial security, etc. and not taking any of it for granted).

You all would sleep like babies if you would cut the wheat out of your diet.

Perhaps some folks would, but I've been eating neither wheat nor dairy for nearly a year now and it has made little difference to my sleeping habits, I'm afraid.

I'm 53 and I feel pretty good. Changing my diet has been really helpful in fending off aches and pains and energy issues. I'm not dieting but am much more choosy about my food. About five years ago I noticed that about two hours after a fast food lunch that I felt terrible and that is when the light bulb went off. I started to pay attention to how I felt after I ate certain meals.

I don't deprive myself but I do eat a lot less of certain things. When everyone is eating pepperoni pizza, I will snitch a pepperoni or two and enjoy my veggie version. If I want fast food, I will get a kid meal. I have to admit that I sometimes get envious when people post about their baking or rich gourmet meals. But the trade off is that I feel good and look pretty good so the lifestyle difference is worth it to me.

Best topic ever. Outsideplaying, I used to feel the same way as you when I saw people with a frown on their faces. I also remember when people would say, "She's a bitter old woman/man." I did say that one or two times in my younger years. Now I feel bad because I realize bad things happen to people, & some get more than their fair share, so it's impossible to smile. Now when I see someone frown, I always wonder what their story is.

As far as aging, I think it's genetics plus Type A or B personalities. Looking at beauty ad's/ commercials makes us think we're supposed to feel like a 20 year old.

I had a lot of energy until I had my hysterectomy eleven years ago. I was severely anemic at the time and had two transfusions, but my energy level was never the same. Blood work shows I'm fine.

The worst thing about aging for me is the heat! I can't take it anymore, not even for five minutes.

Mentally I feel young and hip. Physically, I feel my age most days.

Studies show that if you smile, you will feel happier. While we all know that we express what we feel in our faces, but the reverse is also true...what we put on our faces affects our mood. The researchers who were identifying all the facial muscles and expressions found this out....they were happy when studying smiling and depressed when studying frowning. Go figure.

We have alot of 53 yr olds here! (me too) Annie - I totally agree with that! Dee, I really, really understand (and agree) with what you are saying about diet. You ARE what you eat. I have not done Whole 30, but I follow their instagram feed. I'm not sure why or where I came upon it, but it's very interesting. Not just weight loss, but so many people have posted pictures of how much clearer their skin is, some have lost the "puffy" water retention, and many have talked about the aches and pains being relieved (or at least lessened). Very interesting. Not sure if I will ever do it, but it really does make you think about what you eat. I am pretty much like you. I would say we eat very well 80-90% of the time and the rest of the time we allow for indulgences. I don't believe in depriving yourself, but it's all in moderation.

Writersblock, sorry to hear that...most of us really sleep!

Tinam61, we are not Paleo, but my favorite cookbooks are...that way I do not have sift through all the "junky" recipes made with gluten-free this or that. We eat meat and vegetables. Eggs. That is it.

Energy? Yep. I Am now doing 13 hours of exercise a week..8 hours of dancing, 5 hours of Zumba, in addition to taking care 13 horses, DH, who cannot lift 20 lbs for the next 4 months after hernia surgery, and all the house and yard work.

I see so many people with a frown in their faces when I am out. Why? Are they really unhappy or afraid to relax and smile?

Not always. The flip side is, 'b%$@#% resting face'. I have it often. It's not a flattering quality and one I have to make a conscious effort to fight against. Even as a kid I would have my parents and other adults badger me on how I should smile more. "Smile!" Drove me bonkers and, frankly, made it worse. It is not natural or comfortable for me to walk around with a smile plastered to my face. Usually when I'm out and about I'm on a mission for something and focused on that and am not thinking about how my face looks. It doesn't mean I'm unhappy. I'll also note I'm not outgoing and have to force myself, and be uncomfortable inside, to talk and be chatty/friendly with strangers. (I'm talking beyond the typical manners like please, thank you, and have a nice day.) Different personalities.

Noted about the smile, but at least could people not have a scowl on their faces all the time when just walking from the car to the shopping mall, restaurant, or wherever? I guess just a more pleasant look would suffice. And I can see that some would be having a bad time too. Like Annie said, what we project to the world can definitely affect our mood.

SheeIsBack; let's start saying it's Focused Face. I've been getting the same advice forever. Years and years ago ----- one of the regional managers for McDonald's told me I had to smile more --- he didn't know that I oversold most other counter folks with higher accuracy ----- and in those days it all had to be added in our heads ---- just paper slips for orders. Sure, Focused Face or Getting It Done Face!

Thanks for getting some levity into my day ---- and a smile (albeit is subtle one) on my face.

I'm turning 51 soon. Ick. That to me seems worse than 50. And I know, I need to get over it.

Here is what I have noticed over the last few years.

- I wake up with aches and I don't know how they got there. Not a LOT. But you know, sometimes.

- When I exercise, the difference in my mood is amazing. I have gotten to the point where I don't even care if the exercise helps me lose weight, but it does so much for my mental health!

- Sometimes I wake up at 4 am and that's it. My day has begun. Never had that problem before.

- I am way more sensitive to heat and humidity.

- I am surprised at how "tired" I look when I catch my reflection in a mirror somewhere. Somehow, I look better in my own bathroom mirror than I do, say, in a store mirror or the mirror at the hair salon. And in my imagination, I look 32.

- I just keep losing and gaining the same 5 lbs... I'd like to lose 10, but it just isn't gonna happen unless I stop eating entirely.

On the flip side, I am having more fun than a lot of women my age. I have a great group of friends and we make it a priority to schedule regular get-togethers. This keeps me sane and happy. But at no time do I ever really feel 25!

Meanom - Yes, those sound much nicer! A few years back I was watching youtube makeup videos one night and stumbled upon a random upload from a makeup artist where he mentioned he has this issue. That was the name he gave it (the not nice one) and it stuck with me. Definitely focused and in the zone.

Can we focus on things we DO like about aging? And may I be so bold as to admit that now that I'm in my 50s I know exactly what I want sexually and exactly how to go about making sure it happens?

Yes. I went there. I'm 53. I can.

;-D

Oh there is lots to like about being older! I no longer worry at all about what other people think. For some reason I find people even more interesting as I age. I have more time to learn new things. Of course for me now that I'm not spending most of the money on kid stuff (children now grown) there are lots of perks like far off travel. Well, I could go on and on about the good stuff.

I don't mind being older. I'm a lot more comfortable in my own skin, I know who I am and what I'm all about. I don't care so much about what others think and I know what's important to me. At 56 I'm wiser, experienced and settled.

We can choose to fuss, be grumpy and complain about the aches and pains or we can choose to put that energy towards more positive things. Aging is part of life, it's inevitable and complaining won't change it anyways. The more you embrace and adapt where you are in life, the easier and happier life can be.

Sleep is my problemo also, after I retired! My kids keep telling me I need to exercise every day, and I don't deny they're right. My knees still(since I was a kid!)crack when I go up stairs or kneel down to get something. I really can't complain about having aches and pains, but do get cramping in legs/feet. I take magnesium to help with that, but need to remember to take it daily!

Timely that I found this thread today as today I am 50. No aches and pain yet. Actually feel and am healthier than I have been in years. People say things like you don't look 50 but what is 50 supposed to look like? I know 50+ people who look young and healthy and 50 year olds who look like they have one foot in the grave.

That said, the number is bothering me which is unusual as I'm always the positive optimism one.

What if we didn't know how old we were? How would we act?

Happy Birthday Debrak!!!

I had cancer when I was 15 and had less than 20% chance of living to age 20. Passed that milestone and survived a recurrence when I was 25. Survived that and lived long enough to have an entirely different type of cancer at age 55. I'm now 58 and cancer free as far as I know. I love getting older - beats the alternative. I feel great and have no problems with aging ailments. I'm blessed to have a wonderful life and everyday of it is a great day!

Wow gibby, that is an amazing story. So good to hear that you are doing well. Thanks for sharing.

Happy birthday, debrak. You'll get over the "fifty" blues. I think we all have our "What the what?" age. I have felt since I was in my early twenties that I wouldn't make it to the next decade mark. Don't know why I started thinking that way. Each one I reach is like "Well look at that!".

What if we didn't know how old we were? How would we act? I don't think I act a certain way because of my age. I am who I am. That hasn't changed.

Happy birthday debrak! You should be with a drink, not us.

Here are some different things I love about being older:

I can get up early without thirty minutes of the snooze alarm.

I can afford not to think about money when I shop for food.

When I host a party, I can make a big sit down dinner and still enjoy myself.

Saturday night at home with my husband sure beats The Love Boat and Fantasy Island!

I can go to the ATM and take more than $20 out.

Vacations are an annual (or more often) occurrence.

I'm no longer searching for my career path, instead I'm perfecting it.

i do embarrassing things without getting embarrassed.

I have an abundant life with friends, not acquaintances.

Gibby, that is an amazing story, what a frightful and terrible thing to go through especially at such a young age, I'm really glad you're ok.

I worked with a teacher who had been adopted from what used to be Yugoslavia, as a child. Her papers said she was 12 when she was released from the orphanage, to move to Canada with her new family. Fast forward 38 years and she was contacted by relatives overseas who had finally tracked her down and were inviting her to visit them. She found out that she was actually only 9 when she was adopted, making her 3 years younger than what she had always been told.

We had thrown her a small party for her 50th, and she found out a few months later that she was only 47. Obviously her body did not physiologically suddenly reverse 3 years of aging, but she did truly appear to look younger and even seemed more vivacious, once she was aware she was actually 3 years younger. So psychology certainly does play a huge part in how we feel!

Saw a picture of the Rolling Stones with the caption,

"I'm too old for this sh*# .....

Said no rocker ever." Pretty much sums up my philosophy at 63. ;)

My dad used to say, "If I ever meet the person who first called these the golden years, I am going to punch him in the nose!"

Happy Birthday, debrak! As they say, 50 is the new 30!

Great story, gibby...and love your attitude. More power to you!

If you read the article I linked above, it is clear that psychology plays a huge part in defining our aging process. We act a certain way because of what our culture allows us to do at that age...much more of an influence than we think.

Also, regarding smiling, I don't think you have to put a "pepsodent" smile on your face, rather a Mona Lisa smile...they say to do that even when meditating as it makes a big difference in attitude. When I was younger, I found, when I felt down, I would talk to my MIL...she was always good for "chatting"...light conversation. And even though I felt down, by the time we got done with the inane and meaningless conversation where I was forced to be more cheerful than I felt, I felt better.

My hat's off to anyone who has beaten cancer. I'm sure it gives you a new outlook on life. My best friend from high school isn't here to share in anything going on in my life. She began with a persistent cough on March 5, 2009. After weeks and weeks of tests and various doctors visits, she was finally diagnosed with SCLC...She remained positive, but, thru tears, I Googled and saw that she would be lucky to live 18 months. She lasted until December 14, 2010. She was 57...So I feel guilty about dreading anything unpleasant about getting older. No matter how much we think we're not like we were 25 or 30 years ago, at least we're all still here. We have that to be thankful for as we press on and look forward to tomorrow..hopefully with a smile.

Happy (belated) birthday, debrak! Didn't this thread start with saying 50 doesn't feel 25 or something? Well, I'm glad to see so many people feeling great, especially those who have fought cancer or any other chronic disease or condition.

Gibby, we just had a news story about a young girl, a junior at my grand-daughter's HS, who is now battling lymphoma. The 2 big rival high schools who are playing football this weekend are dedicating the game to her, wearing special t-shirts with her name in lime green colors, and raising funds for the cause. The kids are really rallying for her.

Just turned 58 on Monday and mostly I feel very positive about life. I started doing Pilates a few years ago and for me it's been a godsend; I don't have some of the ominous aches/pains I was starting to experience like sciatica and back problems. Eating is also very different for me. I just don't care for the texture and taste of red meat any more so that's gone from the diet. Fast food and heavy/greasy stuff too, it makes me feel sick. And quite suddenly two years ago I quit drinking alcohol, well wine which was my only alcoholic indulgence. I realized that even a glass or two which was my limit anyway made me feel like crap the next day, and the mild relaxation wasn't really worth the aftereffects.

Emotionally it's all been getting better every birthday. My kids are young adults, moved out and well launched with good jobs, so the sheer work load is incredibly lighter at home. I look at working moms and feel such empathy/sympathy. Now that it's in my own rearview mirror I marvel at how challenging it is to work and raise a family. It iterally never stops! This is probably the most positive aspect of aging, for me. I'm still working at a job that I love which takes a huge amount of my time and energy but now that's really the ONLY part of life that does, and I cherish the peace and calm at home and in my routine. Financially we are in great shape and I could walk away tomorrow from my job if I chose-that too gives me a huge psychological boost.

Guess the only downside for me right now is the opposite of auntjen...libido has sadly dropped to almost nil since menopause. Yes, I will go there! At the same time in nature's irony my husband is more ardent than ever since we no longer need birth control and there are no kid interruptions. I still enjoy intimacy, only now it's, um, more theoretical and about his pleasure so this is one area in which I want to 'practice' to get better :).

Overall though, I love my life and getting older hasn't made anything worse, things just seem to keep getting better and better every birthday. Maybe it's because I realize very keenly as the years pass how very, very fortunate I am to have good health, a good marriage, a good family, good career and good financial security. Any or all of that can change and probably will in the future so I have a much more keen sense of how important it is to be grateful for sunny days before the clouds roll in.

Outside, you're not in TN are you?

As far as energy is concerned as we age, I often wonder if because we have more free time and don't have the busy schedules we once did, that we perhaps just allow ourselves to slow down. My energy level honestly doesn't feel different than it ever has; when I need/want to, I can run circles around my younger friends. But I'm at a point where I want my schedule to be my own and not dictated by others. I want to savor my cup of tea in the a.m. while catching up on news and internet, I want to exercise when I feel like it not because my schedule dictates it, etc. There was a season for heavily scheduled days and running endlessly but this is the season to slow down if I choose to, though it isn't because I don't have the energy (at least not at this point).

Interesting observation about energy Dawn. Now that you mention it I seem to have endless energy while on vacation but not so much at home. I too am protective of my time now that my kids are out. Many here have heard me complain over the years about how being a house wife often makes me the first person to come to mind if any neighbors need pet sitting . It's just starting to happen again in my new neighborhood. Two different neighbors. One goes on cruises a lot and complained about a friend who had the nerve to charge her. She is looking for "free". The other travels a lot with her husband...again wants "free". So, I have decided to do the pet sitting course thing where you learn pet CPR and such. I guess I may as well have a sort of side business and charge mid high for my service. I'll have a price list handy to weed out the cheapies.

Reading many of these stories does make me feel guilty about my issues with the number "50".

Runninginplace, I think libido is very much psychological. If you make yourself look sexy, you feel sexy. BUT don't get caught up in....I haven't showered yet, I my hair looks bad, etc. Looking sexy doesn't have to mean getting all dressed up. I've heard women say that getting a gift of sexy lingerie is not really a gift for them it's for their partners. I totally disagree. I buy it cause I like wearing it. I just read an article about flirting (in the National Post of all places) and why we all need to do it. Pay attention to people (meaning check them out). Notice the hot ones. Fantasize. Read books. Personally hate women's romance novels but do like books with good sex scenes. Read the interesting parts out loud to your husband.

I turned 60 a few weeks ago. I can't believe I'm even typing that!

It was nothing for me turning 50. But 60 is just shocking to me.

I'm grateful to be in good overall health. I've never been a gym-goer or a strict dieter, but I've always been active, eaten well, maintained my weight, drink little, used sunscreen, etc.

I keep up with everyone in the family whether it's hiking a mountain, doing heavy yard work, housework, kayaking, swimming, ice skating. I don't think my grandkids ever consider that I might be too old to join in any activity. So strange, as I never saw my own grandmother in a bathing suit and can't remember any of the grandparents even going for a long walk. My DH is even more athletic than I am - but he's only 59 ;) He still plays ice hockey once a week on a men's league with my 37 yr. old SIL.

The only real issue I have with aging is my eyes. Why did I never appreciate perfect vision?! I didn't need reading glasses till into my 50's. Then 3 yrs. ago I needed help for distance, too. Thought I solved things by getting Progressive contacts, but my eyes became sensitive to them so I can only wear them for several hours at a time. I'm supposed to do eye scrubs morning & night followed by hot compresses. All this to just see clearly and comfortably. Boo. I know that if that's my only complaint I am one lucky person.

My biggest fear is Alzheimer's. My Mom was afflicted beginning in her late '70's. She was otherwise healthy and active. Took no meds other than a multivitamin. I was her primary caregiver for the 3 yrs. before she passed. It was hell on earth for her in her moments of lucidity to realize she was losing her mind. She'd been a (wonderful) nurse for 40 yrs. and at one time worked with geropsych patients. Toward the end she did not recognize I was there and would cry, pointing to my picture saying, "She never comes anymore". It was heartbreaking.

If I let myself dwell on it, I am terrified it might happen to me. So I try to focus on the present and do the best I can to stay mentally & physically healthy.

Tina, no, but not far from you in Alabama.

amck2, is your primary eye issue presbyopia? Might you be a candidate for Lasik? It was a godsend for me several years ago. No readers since and it's been wonderful. My last annual exam a few weeks ago showed the start of cataracts so I'll be addressing that soon but even with themI still don't need glasses.

dawnidea, I looked into LASIK and, unfortunately, I'm not a candidate. I know a number of people who have had great results. Glad you did, too.

My dry eye issues are caused by ocular rosacea. I've never had facial rosacea so I was surprised by the diagnosis. Had never heard of it before. If I'm vigilant about the scrubs & compresses I can keep it in check. Stress can trigger flares, so I try to stay as Zen as possible ;)

Well, I must be the baby of the thread. I'm only 46 but I have started to slow down. Physically, I'm "strong like bull!" and I still look much younger than I am.

Mentally, I just want to go to the beach. I'm not nearly as much of a career go-getter as I used to be. I just don't want to work anymore. We are making some serious life changes right now so that can happen sooner rather than later.

Oh, one thing that is physically harder on me is staying out late. DH is a musician and I use to go to shows all the time. Now the thought of getting in bed at 4am sounds awful and it completely ruins me for the next day. I still do occasionally, but much less. It's a good excuse to stay in my pjs all day.

dawnidea, I am nearsighted and had LASIK on one eye 8 yrs ago. I kept my left eye for reading. Now I have the best of both worlds. My doctor recommended this and it's the best decision I could have ever made. Before, I had dollar store reading glasses all over the house. It's cool to help read the menu for my friends who are younger. A win win for this boomer!