We've been married for 14 years now and we lived together for 3 years before that. While we were cohabitating I never allowed our finances to be comingled. It was incredibly difficult for us to make the financial transition after we married. Truly, of all things that was THE most difficult. I have always been the "skinflint" and the "nervous nellie" when it comes to money. I remember living in a little town where there were no jobs... and how humiliating it was to have to ask for some money to go to a movie and then to ask for some for popcorn, too. An "allowance" was never offered and I had to "justify" every request for money. It was a defining time in my life. I swore, that when I got my first job NO ONE WOULD EVER USE MONEY TO CONTROL ME AGAIN. And I remember being so afraid of what I didn't know... balancing a checkbook, making intelligent decisions with savings, investing. My parents never talked about money, it was as though it was "dirty"; even though they lived frugally and lacked for nothing. I sucked it up and learned how to do those things because if I didn't, I understood I would be vulnerable and in a position to be manipulated. And you know what? it's not hard, at all! it's actually fun. The helpmeet was much more cavalier than I with respect to money (didn't take much, lol). He was never a wanton spender, but he wasn't always so good about getting bills out on time and never lost much sleep about interest or finance charges (drove me nuts). But he had a much healthier attitude in the greater context; never laboring under the awful, nagging fears that I did. So... after a few good fights about it we sat down for a "board meeting". We agreed to do the bills together; but I was given the responsibility to call the terms because doing so allowed me to put the kibosh on interest charges and any late fees. We worked out a strict budget and he stuck to it. We lucked out, I suppose. He's no longer is "late", pays no interest, and we no longer fight about money (he has thanked me for showing him how easy it can be!). Either of us could pick up the reins and take over in the event of catastrophe. Best of all, though, I am now at ease with money; no one controls me with it and I'm secure in the knowledge that there is plenty of it to meet whatever needs we have and even enough to spend on FUN THINGS! (imagine that?!) I will go to my grave knowing he imparted that simple belief to me; it set me free. Really. It wasn't easy gettin' here. You mustn't allow your husband to dodge the issue by saying he's "sick of spread sheets"... that's an excuse (and it's unfair to put the responsibility for success or failure on YOU!), the spending isn't about the new toy, it's about something bigger. I'd bet a nickel on that. If you want to get to a trusting place with your finances you have begin by being honest and putting all your debts on paper, establishing a budget and being accountable for it, and sitting down TOGETHER every month. Silvercomet is absolutely right... this is IMPORTANT stuff. It doesn't have to be unpleasant, either. One of the nicest aspects of this process for us is the time we spend together talking about what we want for our future(s). It's gone from perfunctory attention to bills and statements to presenting ideas/goals/and seeing possibilities emerge. It's empowering and it's FUN.

Do what my mom used to do when she finally got fed up: If you left something laying around, ie, shoes, clothes, books, etc., she would put them in the trash. Seriously. She had tried everything, and with 5 kids and a husband, she was at her wits end. So she'd just chuck it in the kitchen trashcan, (a big can in those days), which would eventually be dumped into the bigger outside can. If you didn't figure it out before trash day, you lost whatever it was. She did warn us, but of course we ignored her. Didn't take long for everyone to figure out that she was serious and start putting their things away! Granted, "putting your things away" meant just throwing them randomly into your room, but it was better than having stuff lay all over the house.

The end result of your beautiful kitchen was worth any bout of hiccups:) Bee - can they look at availability in another store? Maybe they still have some actually in stock... I was going to say "When you hire for peanuts..." But Circus Peanuts jumped in my head. Based on advice from this site, I just ordered extra knobs and pulls, so thanks GW. Thanks for sending the force out! I am frantically dancing. Do or do not, there is no try.

Thank you all for suggestions! I really like the rounded steps and think they might help soften all the harsh lines of my house. Tibbrix and Kswl, my contractor mentioned a concrete base with a stone or brick facade and I am researching that idea this week so am grateful for the picture and very happy to hear you are happy with your steps Kswl. Pal, I would love a rounded roof above the steps but with my vestibule I worry it might look too "roofy". My neighbors have open steps with side benches that I like just not sure if appropriate for my home. I would most certainly widen the steps by 20inches each side, to match the width of my vestibule if I did benches. As far as what my house style is, I called it a tudor for that is what my town records have it under. My architect says the pitch of the gables and the prominent front facing brick chimney feature could classify it as such but it is most certainly a hybrid of many styles :(. Here is a natural cedar shingle house in my style that I like as inspiration. It has the rounded front roof over the steps. I am within a quick walk to the beach but have no water views so not sure if this is too coastal looking for my house.