help with retudorfying my house one step at a time
roarah
9 years ago
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One step forward, two steps back in my kitchen
Comments (34)In our original set-up, we had the table butted up to the island and the old light hung in the right place. Since then, we moved the table to the window, which we like much better..... buuuut it left that fixture hanging in prime head-knocking space. Also, I was thinking that if I really wanted another light protruding from the ceiling in addition to future fan, it would be better to have it over the sink instead of two hanging things in the center of the room. At this point, I'm thinking I will use that light for now and relegate it to the laundry when I can....See MoreMy step sons are so negative and one of them might turn violent
Comments (9)You say you've threatened to call the cops if they physically hurt their sister... it sounds like you may have to do more than threaten if it ever happens again. Physical abuse is a crime, and I don't think you have to be 18 to be accountable. There is a very clear line of what can and can't be condoned, talked through or otherwise worked out and physical abuse is over that line. The boys need to know very plainly and in no uncertain terms that if they hurt the girls or anyone else, they will be picked up by the cops. As for the other stuff (lying, refusing to do chores), well, obviously that's harder to deal with because it's more vague. But I think it's safe to say that in most human dealings, the best way to influence or improve somebody's behavior is to make it real unpleasant for them to continue what they're doing... to make it in their interest to change their behavior. And let them know the deal so there is no surprise or uncertainty so that if they choose to misbehave they have no one to blame for the repercussions they suffer but themselves. It may not prove a foolproof method, but I'd guess it's worth a try. Like for example: "Dude, you are NOT going to like what happens if I hear you call your sister a bad name again, because you're not going to like scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush and vinegar at 5:00 in the morning. Your choice." Or: "yeah I know you don't really feel like doing the dishes. And I don't really feel like cooking you dinner or paying for your phone either. If you back out on your promises and contributions to the family, I guess others in the family have a right to back out on their promises and contributions to you. It's much better for all of us if we all pitch in and do things to help each other out. But again, your choice." You as the step-parent who isn't even living full-time with the step-kids REALLY don't have to do anything for them. Their mom obviously has to provide a basic decent level of care and make sure there's food in the house for them to eat, etc. But at their age she doesn't have to cook it! There are plenty of "extra" things you and she can leverage and refuse to do for them until they learn to behave decently, without running the risk of being negligent parents. In the meantime, though, do proceed with family counseling. Even though the boys' behavior desperately needs changing, it sounds like there are some genuine adjustment problems and anger issues that need to be addressed. Especially with the older boy, who sadly sounds like he has had a lot in his life to be angry about. He just can't be allowed to continue expressing it in the ways that he has been....See MoreBathroom progress? One step forward, two steps back
Comments (3)Here I thought you were making a "trip" to the bathroom. Hoped you wouldn't be in too much discomfort by the time you arrived. As a matter of fact, considering the, " ... one step forward, two steps back ...", scenario ... ... maybe it'd be best to travel backwards. As a matter of fact ... ... are you sure that you haven't been doing some of that during the remodelling/renovation? When did you start - back in late summer, sometime, wasn't it? I hope that your neighbour hasn't got too bored with your visits. Or have you had a Johnny-on-the-Spot in the backyard? It's getting pretty chilly for depending on one of them, these days! Hope that, otherwise, you're having a good week. Say, "Hi" to Wes, please ... and Helpful Harry. ole joyful...See MoreCleaning the house, one step forward, five back.
Comments (4)I goofed too. I get stains out of clothes by using twice the hydrogen peroxide then Dawn dishwashing soap. It does not bleach out clothes and I treat the affected area, rinse off after letting it sit. Ok, I did a neighbor's shirt and rinsed then put in my fussy front-loading washer. WELL, all I saw is thick bubbles when I checked on it. Aw oh, front loaders use special detergent to keep the suds down. I stopped it and scooped suds out at the time it was NOT rinsing this mass out. I scooped with big bowls and the washer works. This is my confession and hopefully a help to others. I guess I over-did the soap when I pretreated the shirt to get out her spot remover....See Moreroarah
9 years agolast modified: 9 years agoroarah
9 years agoLynnNM
9 years agobpath
9 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
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