Healing is a wonderful and healthy thing. So proud of you for the growth you are showing.

Thanks for all the responses thus far and you have given me the courage to approach the issues. This explains why my DD15 has asked for professional counseling because she has felt anxious and depressed. Initially, I attributed her problems due to the fact that her sister is about to leave home for college and D15 would be the lone ranger at home. The T alluded to the issues with my W to me, but did not go much into details. Now I understand the fear and concerns from my children. I asked my D18, who is about to go to college, who cried and shared with me the same feeling, that was W would jump in and defend her children when a conflict arose between them. My children felt that it was not the SM's place to get in their face so-to-speak, because the conflicts were peer's issues between them. Of course, how can my children respond or defend themselves when the SM confronted them for they were probably scared. They still were the kids and my W was the adult and head of household. For example, my SD14 one day took my D18's rental DVD to her room without saying anything, making D18 pay for the late fee. Then another occassion, D18's set of DVD disappeared, she asked everyone in the house, who all responded "No, I did not take it." Miraculously, the DVD set reappeared 1 month later. D18 had no reason to believe her own sisters took it because they shared 2 adjoining room, so D18 pointed the blame to the Step siblings. I was aware of it, but stayed out, but then my wife confronted my D about why she accused her children of lying. Unfortuntely, my W's action of defending her children, (not young, all in the teens), has made my motherless children feel they had no one to turn to for support because the W now is perceived as being on the other side of the fence to them. I understand life's reality of "step mother, husband's children". WHen push come to shove, the step mother will take care of her own children first. In the same vein, I left a beautiful date who flat out called my children, "b*tches", and demanded all my assets including that of my late wife, left to her when I die.

Khalid: I agree on that. I quit my job as a computer-programmer to stay home and take care of my family ... best choice ever ! I treasure every minute with my kid, since the day she was born. Lots of people advance professionally but don't take the time to mature spiritually or emotionally. Good choices guide us toward the right path which leads to heaven & eternal life. One of the book I read was a comparative study between Western vs. Eastern on marriage. The West focuses on "Love as a feeling", people get married out of "romantic-love", or "being in love", then divorce when the feeling is gone !! In contrast, Eastern countries get married on "choice", the parents choose the mate for one's son or daughter. Psychologists did a survey: those who were pre-arranged to be married end up happier and stay with each other MORE SO than those got married through feelings of "being-in-love". Why? Because they form good habits of choosing love everyday, rather than do things only when they feel like it. The minute they don't feel attracted to their spouse, they find someone else. When people base things on "feelings", they become fickle, unstable, weaker, and betray each other. Only in my 50's that I realize love is a choice, rather than a feeling. I was in "mutual-in-love" relationships when I was young .. it lasted 1 year the max, typical of "in-love" relationship ... like sweet frosting on a cake, but the cake crumbles. Love is a choice builds a solid cake, and the frosting is a by-product of the loving actions. It's stronger than "love as feelings" because the commitment lasts forever. An excerpt from below link on making choices to love our spouse better: "Love is a choice, not a feeling or an emotion. It’s a decision you make every day of your life. Even when your mate doesn’t take out the trash, or spends too much time at the mall, or when poor financial decisions set you back—you can still decide to love. Love is for better or worse. And when you choose not to love, you’ve given up and given in." http://tinybuddha.com/blog/love-is-a-choice-30-ways-to-love-in-action/ The Bible, and what Jesus taught also point to Love as a choice, rather than a feeling. “just as the Father has loved me, I have also loved you; remain in my love.” (John 15:9) John 13:34-35 “I give you a new commandment—to love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 Everyone will know by this that you are my disciples—if you have love for one another.” John 15:12-13 “My commandment is this—to love one another just as I have loved you. 13 No one has greater love than this—that one lays down his life for his friends.” Luke 6:27-28 “But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you.28 Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. Deuteronomy 30:19 “Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! http://www.redeemingmarriages.com/love-is-more-than-a-feeling-its-also-a-choice/

Please try this link and see what happens. I'm not making it a direct link so you can see it - c/p into your browser. If this gets you to Garden Web Home Decorating then look for the link where it says Related Forums for the link to the conversation side. http://ths.gardenweb.com/forums/decor/ On another note..... is anyone contacting Houzz directly about this? Emily is posting regularly here and I can't remember the name of the other woman who was with us before the transfer here. We used to be able to contact them via threads directed to them or through the support links.