You better buckle your seat belts cause it's gonna be a bumpy ride. I'm glad overall that I took my MIL in but it certainly has taken a lot of adjusting. The best advice I can give you is set some boundries now, and be prepared to change them as time goes on. Give her ( if possible) her own living space separate for yours. We are lucky enough to have two bedrooms and a bath on one end of our home that we have converted into an "apartment" (she calls it that) for her. She has a bedroom and a sitting TV type room and it has her furniture from her home in it arranged the way she likes it.(usually messy) She can get up and watch tv at all hours of the night if she wants, talk on the phone or do whatever in her space. She has her own bathroom full her of her stuff.( older people seem to have a lot of lotions and ointments and such for some reason) I no longer allow her to cook because she set fire to the kitchen 3 times but she is allowed to use the micro ( with supervision--she has been known to punch in 15 minutes to warm a roll). At night I unplug this stuff because she does get up a lot. She isn't doing this stuff to be spitefull or naughty--she just has lost the ability to think and reason. You cannot be angry or upset because she truly cannot help what she has become. When she first moved in it was stressful because she loved her things and would often remove my pictures and pillows to replace with her stuff. It really bugged me. Now she has a place that she can have her things and I can still have mine. As far as food choices, she's been with us for two years now and seems to enjoy what I cook. If she has a craving for something special I'm always willing to fix it for her and let her help me do the prep if she can. The dementia, physical weakness and mobility have really limited her on what she can do. She likes to sometimes sit in the kitchen while I cook just to have some girl talk. (thats another story--Ive been having the same "girl talk" for two years now--she forgets what she tells me) There are gonna be days that you will be so frustrated that you cant breath and you want to go screaming in the woods. This will consume your life. Eventually everything you do will have to be planned around her. Think long and hard about taking this on. For us it started out that "MOM was a little ditsy and had to stay with us after Dad died. She certainly had more ability to care for herself then. Be fully prepared to deal with the situation if they start to loose those abilitys--chances are they will. I wish you a lot of luck with this. Let us know how it's going for you and remember this site is a great place to ask or vent or rant. BELIEVE ME--it has been my saving grace to have a place to go where people understand what it's like.

I just don't get all these posts about induction having a learning curve. Took me about 5 minutes to figure it out. I will conceed the touch pad point -- I know some people don't like them (even younger people). But the controls are not hard to use. Instead of a dial with low, med, high and several notches between, you have a numbered 1-10 system. No biggie. I think a senior (or anyone) interested enough in induction to consider buying it is also intelligent enough to understand why their old pots won't work. Sheesh -- you don't have a very high opinion of seniors' intelligence do you Antss. If you're in the KB industry, it might behoove you to drop some of your stereotypical ideas. Seniors don't all live in poverty and in many cases have much more spending power than younger people. Seems like your attitudes could turn away a lot of good customers. I don't mean to sound **tchy. But your comments are really kind of appalling.

I can't imagine that putting a door to the DR would be very expensive--it's a DIY project if ANYONE in the family could do it in a weekend. The two houses I've dealt with that had pass thrus to the DR drove me nuts. It would be so much nicer to have a door there! That, and having a 1/2 bath would be absolutely top priorities for me, but the 1/2 bath could add more cost than she might be able to pay for. If you use a small corner sink, the pocket door will be fine. Since she wants electric, I would STRONGLY encourage her to look at the positives of induction, and get a range with an induction top. It is SO much better than regular electric--easier to clean, much safer, absolute and immediate control of temperature, boils water faster, doesn't heat up kitchen, it's energy efficient, etc. My induction cooktop is by far our favorite feature of our kitchen! Even though it cost more than we'd planned on, it was definitely worth it. It's not that difficult to learn how to use. (I'm only a few years younger than she is, and I don't usually like learning how to use new stuff, but this was easy.) Of course, that might mean new pans, but maybe the family could go together for a present of one of the more inexpensive sets that works with induction. Also, you may have the extra expense of running electrical to accommodate the induction, but from a safety standpoint alone, it might be worth it to have the induction. It seems like plan #8 might work best, especially if you switch the double sink with the prep sink. That way, your mother could also use the prep sink (make it a large one) to work with her plants easily, since it would be right by the back door. Also, this end of the kitchen could have her tea materials, beverage cups and glasses for the rest of the family, the MW, toaster oven, and she'd have the large window view and lots of natural light to do these pleasant daily tasks. The double sink under the smaller window would put it, the DW, and the dishes closer to the DR. If she wants more storage, I'd get rid of the curved upper shelves (in one of your plans) by the smaller window, and add 3-6" to each upper cabinet, unless she has lots of knick-knacks that she wants to reach up and dust as she gets older. Obviously, an island would give her more storage than a table. If you make the island 36" w x 48" l, you could have two 24" wide cabinets opposite the range, and a 12" deep "table" overhang on the dog dish side. Anne

Thank you again, to each and every one of you. You have all given me much to think about as we've worked through this sticky kitchen plan. DH and I sat down last night and laid out what we are going to do. You might be suprised or maybe even a bit dissappointed at a few of our decisions, but as we sat in the space and thought through our movements and needs, we think that this is what works best. Hold onto your hats, because we are doing a variation of the plan that was referred to as disjointed. We are planning on taking out the 30" stove and replacing the top with butcherblock. Underneath will be larder style drawers for potatoes, onions, fruit, etc. A fridge will go in the fridge hole, with farm storage next to it. This will make an efficient work flow: garden or fridge to farm sink, chop at the butcherblock, have a 30" cupboard above it to hold the everyday basics, pasta and such, and fill casserole dishes, canning jars, or pans on the counter under the big window, and then on to the stove. We talked about why we installed the counter and large window the way we did originally, and neither one of us really want to change its functioning. It was set lower to make it easier for baking and pouring. Putting stoves in front of it would cut into the view, and we'd be giving up that wide swath of working and setting space. I haven't been all that pleased with the SS sink since we put it in. The large cupboard that hangs out in space over it, the one I didn't think would bother me when we planned it that way, turns out to aggravate me. (Am I claustrophobic or something?) I'm not very tall, yet it still feels like I ought to duck when I am using that sink. Soooooo we plan to remove that sink and the cupboard above and to the right of it and replace it with a larger stove, probably the Crown that I mentioned earlier, and put a narrower cupboard to the right of the sink for cooking oils and savory spices. Putting the stove in the SS sink spot puts it in a more protected zone than it was in our original plan, as several of you have recommended doing. Why the Crown? Well, it's repairable. It doesn't have anything electronic to go bad on it. So, even if something goes quirky with it, we can fix it ourselves. It's 40" wide, giving us 20" to put toward storage rather than 2 30" stoves that would chew up 60" of valuable space. Maybe some day, if we are unhappy with it, we can upgrade to a fancier NXR or Wolf type stove, but for right now, I think I can be a happy clam with it. Fully refurbished, these are listed on ebay for close to 5k, so I don't think it's going to be a bad stove. Let's continue on down the kitchen. To the right of the stove will be the baking area with a heat resistant counter. Where the DW was, there is room for a rolling grain bin, and we can fit some more bins, and a cart to hold my grain grinder, too, in front of and to the right of the heat run. We just put back our old island, which we conjured up from a salvaged butcherblock attached to an antique dresser. (Drawers under the island Rhome! Grin.) We had taken it out because the clearance was too tight when the DW was open, and it would slide into table space when the DR was in the front room. Since the DW will be moved, it won't be an issue anymore. Baking will happen at the island. along with using the sqeezo/victorio, and other group cooking tasks. Bigger butchering projects can happen here, too. So, the sink and the DW are going on a peninsula style counter coming out between the two windows at the side of the house. Amazingly enough, this does wonders for our lighting that's already in. The sink will line up right under the fixture that used to hang over the dining table (anyone want it? I like its looks, but, it's gotta go. It needs a taller ceiling to be happy). We've put a ceiling hugger in it's place. Ahhh, my head can breathe in that space again. The ceiling fan light hangs over the island. That one is high enough not to bother me, thank goodness. On the stairwell wall will go one more fridge placed in the corner. From the fridge out along the wall will be a 5' counter with drawers underneath, and wall cabs above. This spot will be for dishes, snacky stuff for DH's lunches, teas, and wraps and storage containers for after meal cleanups. The dishwashing peninsula lets us look out the front windows without being right up against them. It also lets us have a spot for folks to hang out at the front. We mocked it up with our trusty folding table and it feels spacious up there, amazingly enough. DW will be to right of sink. Sink will have the doors inset underneath for knee room. To the left of the sink, I'm planning to have DH build a base cab to hold our toaster oven on the top shelf, and the cookbooks below. On the side opposite the sink, I'd like to put shallow cabs that can hold extras: toys, books, extra kitchen needs, I'm sure it will change as our needs change. Because the sink cleanup area is such a short run, we're planning to do a 30" depth flat counter, no backsplash. This will give us more landing space for the dishes during cleanup. We're wanting to do this counter with solid surface, and put runnels in for draining large pots and pans. The middle room will have 2 workspots along the front wall, probably a laptop at each window. Drawers in between the windows. "Gutter shelves" to the right of the windows. The stairwell wall will have a large floor to ceiling cupboard, 12" deep, for homeschool and art, craft, office supplies for things that are done at the table (coloring, etc.) The large expanse of wall at the back of the room, where Rhome drew the computer area, will be a 15" deep x 9' 6" long pantry. The wall between the DR and Liv. Rm will be removed (Yahooooo! I can hardly wait!) We're thinking of arching the top of the doorway that has to stay there, and doing panels, similar to a paneled door, on the stub wall that has to stay there. I'd love to know how to make this not look "weird". Under the picture window will be a work counter, 26" high, that can hold 2 sewing machines. Under the counter will be a drawer unit on wheels for threads and other small sewing supplies. We're planning to make the counter have supports like a gate leg table. Normally, the lg. couch will divide the DR from the living room. But when guests are coming, we can drop the sewing counter down, put the machines away, and slide the lg. couch against the picture window. To the right of the window will be floor to ceiling cupboards for toys and sewing supplies. Along the back wall will be bookshelves above, enclosed fabric storage below. The loveseat can push against this and be pulled out when we need to get fabric. Our couches are lightweight, thankfully. I wasn't kidding when I said I move stuff around a lot. Two comfy chairs will sit a bit in front of the window, too. To complete the circular tour, behind the back door will be a cupboard where I can keep meds, herbs, and extra laundry soaps. I honestly can't tell you whether or not we will do the boot wash spot, DH and I didn't touch on that one last night. My dad called to tell me yesterday that he has a friend who offered to do us a custom SS base, if we want, but I forgot to tell DH this. I think that's the majors. You all have helped us think through so much. Thank you for giving of yourselves in this way. It's a sacrifice to pour so much of yourself into helping us wrestle with these plans; we appreciate it. I know this is long, but I didn't want to leave you hanging, wondering what we decided. If you'd like, I can hopefully post pics when we're done. I've loved seeing others pictures, and will try to return the favor. Hugs to you all, (hope that's not too personal. I just appreciate your help!) Laughable