"And, yes I did see that Frazier show. That show always makes me laugh. I would hate to think I ever acted that way and try not to be around people who do.' alexis The reason I laughed so hard at Frazier's superior behavior is because it is me more times than I want to admit, BIG BUTT these types of post teach others this behavior. I want to exercise myself of continuing this behavior and not participate in teaching it to others. We start looking for the types of comments that come from someone who doesn't share our passion so we can run to our "elite hostaholics friends" to report every faux pas. From my superior/self-righteous position in this I had to look up "faux pas" and had a terrible time because I couldn't even get close to the spelling to find it in a dictionary. I did have the good judgment to marry a bright woman! I repeat; "Tell me what you believe in, I have enough doubts of my own"! Stop it, I see myself and don't like it.

Thanks for all your hard work Karen! Can't wait to read it in its entirety. Jodi-

gardenga-you sound like a true Christian! Jippy-It must be a challenge to work with such an age spread. I taught 3rd/4th for 3 years, then we needed to split the group and I taught 4th the last two years. Next year (we don't have regular ss in the summer) the 5th/6th is being split and I'm teaching 6th. We teach with 3 teachers to a class, each of taking turns with lessons and taking a sunday off. So one week, I'll teach, the next week, I'll asst., and the 3rd week, I have off. Anyway, I have happened to be with ss school teachers who are teachers, including myself. We do have a curriculum, but we each use our individual interests to present it to the kids. One teacher I worked with is into crafts, so she usually does a craft project with them, another teacher I work with loves story telling so she usually does alot of reading with them, I love geography and history so I incorporate that into the bible stories. I also love gardening and nature, so I bring that in. It's neat cause the kids get a variety of experiences. Each sunday school teacher (whether trained teach. or not) brings with them their own special talents and interests. Whether it's cooking or sewing or traveling or reading or crafts or animals or whatever is your passion you can meld that with the Bible lessons and have fun with it while learning. I also try to make the lessons "multi-sensory" for the kids. When we did genesis, I grabbed plants from my home and from around the church and recreated the garden of eden. I made the tree of life from a branch from my yard, stuck it in a pot, and bought some plastic fruit ornaments from the dollar store. I had a cd at home of amazon jungle sounds and I played that in the background. Then the kids acted out the story. When we did Jesus in the wilderness, I happen to have sand my husband brought back from the middle east when he went for a iraq war project and I brought that in. I also had some sand from a tropical beach and some sand from our beaches here in NE. I spread out an old tan blanket, I grabbed some rocks from the church yard and put them down, I grabbed some books from the church library with photos of the middle east deserts, and I put the different sands in pie plates on the blanket. They all felt and compared the sand. The middle eastern sand is very rough. I wanted them to imagine the conditions Jesus lived through. Anyway-I'm sorry if this is long and I hope it helps. Everyone is unique and special and I'm sure you have wonderful talents to share with your kids. Doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive. Best wishes!

Well, so far things are better... I had a talk with DH that seems to have opened his eyes a bit. I explained that I have so many other things on my mind, the housework & even SD's attitude are low on my priority list. I told him that I am fine with her attitude & not liking me, but I'm not fine with having someone give me an ultimatum when we are supposed to be partners. I'm not going to let SD be on of our "issues". She does not have to like me but I also explained to him that it goes both ways, I don't have to DO things for her so when she says I'm being "mean" to her, it's just HER perception because I'm not offering to do things for her nor giving it any energy when she wants/needs things. She has a play this week & needs a costume. She started whining to DH last week about it and he has said several times he doesn't know what to do about it because she hasn't told him what KIND of costume she needs. Normally, I would jump in (because it's a mommy thing to do) and find out from the teacher what she needs & get it for her. Instead, I have let HIM handle it. I have not said a word and when he asked me what he should do, I could only tell him that I think he should put as much energy into seeing that she does her homework & study for her tests as he does in finding her a costume. She has a D in PE because she took a 0 last week. She got an F on her report for the play she is in. Personally, I don't agree with the way the school gives points & grades... her math teacher gave 20 points for kids that brought food in for the canned food drive. Really? Of course, I am mean Ima & said no when she asked if she can take canned food to school. I donate directily to the food bank so why give her extra credit points when she's not doing her homework? Anyway, the only input I would give on the play costume is that it's HIS thing because SD isn't talking to me and I think she should worry so much about the rest of her grades as she is about the costume. He agreed. I won't do anything for her... except driving her to her bus stop. I agree Amber that if I weren't around, he would have to leave work or figure it out. The other option would be to have him get his mom (who doesn't work & is on SD's sied against mean Ima) go pick her up, which if fine with me but SHE says she's too busy all the time so DH doesn't want to ask her. She will do it, but then piss & moan about why can't Ima do it? That's just another headache for me that I don't want/need. But, I agree it's not MY problem. "I had hoped your SD would act/behave like mine for a couple weeks anyway ..." It would be nice for her to be pleasant & she has been... in her way. She came home from BM's last night, cheerfully said "HI!" to me and I said Hi. Then she went in her room, got ready for bed & came out to say goodnight to DH & said goodnight to me. Then this morning, back to not talking to me. I don't know if she sincerely wants to be nice or if she is forcing herself. I get the feeling that she throws out a nice, friendly hello or thank you so when she is crying about how mean I am to her, she can say she TRIES to be nice to me. I don't know? It's not very consistent or sincere so I don't know what to make of it. I am friendly when she is friendly, I ignore her when she ignores me. I don't go out of my way to kiss her @$$ so she will like me because I think if she wants to like me, she would be sincere and not use me to get attention from everyone by making me the villain while she is my victim. I did tell DH that when she thinks I'm being mean to her, it's just me treating her the way she treats me... and he can tell her that. (and if HE ever thinks I'm being mean to her... he needs to come talk to me about it & not jump on me based on what SHE tells him) As for her being nice to me for a couple of weeks, I prefer her to be sincere. If she is going to fake being nice just to get something from me... and then go back to backstabbing me, I'd rather not have two weeks of fake BFF niceness from her. But, I will take cordial pleasantness, fake or real. Unfortunately for her, until she proves sincerity, I just assume it's fake. That makes me sad but it's the way it is. As for my son and DIL, I know everything JMT said is true & that's why it's upsetting to me. Realistically, I may be worrying over nothing. My DS came home for the holidays two years ago & I backed off to let him take care of his son for the two weeks he was here. It was too much for him then & the baby was only 21 months old. DIL has had the opportunity to spend more time with DGS than she has but has made excuses... has to work, wants to go out, etc. and in the last 6 months, I have provided the majority of transportation for her... taking DGS to see her and picking him up. Even then, she complained that I was an hour late picking him up after she hadn't seen him for a month. Then she went 6 weeks without seeing him and has seen him ONE time since getting out of rehab three weeks ago. I am taking him to see her this next weekend because we are going to a party near where she lives. Otherwise, I don't think she would see him. Those are not the actions of someone that wants 50% shared custody. When I visited my son in March, he said how he missed DGS before & was going to miss him more when we were leaving. I asked him if he wants to keep him & he said it was too much for him. He didn't think he could handle it by himself. So, realisticaly I don't know how serious he is about taking over full time. I would be happy to have him take a few days a week when he returns but leave him "living" in my home where he is stable... at least until he (my son) adjusts and is able to handle full time. It has to be a transition for DGS sake and my worry is more about DIL wanting to move back to the area when my son comes home. They are like oil & water. Separate, I get along good with both of them but when they get together, DIL goes psycho. She gets jealous, insecure, & starts fights... then plays victim. She has been arrested for domestic violence on him a few times but the DA never ressed charges. She claims she is the victim. They need to stay away from each other & my only job is going to be to keep DGS from being pulled into the middle of it & have him be the pawn they use to hurt each other. My mom went to Stanford for a second opinion. They did a CT scan & told her she has 5 cancerous lesions on the surface of her liver. The prognosis was more positive than her first doctor gave her. I guess her first doctor didn't spend much time explaining it to her so she didn't have a lot of confidence and was stressing out. and for holiday plans. So far, DH hasn't said anything about going to his parents at all. I'm not going to worry about it. I bought them a gift & will drop it off to them if they don't invite us over... or will send with him if they don't invite ME over. He is free to go without me. :) My niece is getting married on Christmas Eve on our property so I will probably be helping with that as well. My dad is planning to take his lady friend (he doesn't call her a GF) to dinner on Christmas day. She is spending the morning with her kids. I plan to stay home & spend the day playing with DGS unless DH wants me to go with him to his parents. It would be more pleasant to stay home than spend the day with MIL but I also don't want to put DH in a position of having to explain my absence... unless I go visit my mom. Honestly, they don't care to see me but would talk crap to DH if I don't go. LOL, they will probably talk crap whether I go or not.