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pipsmom49

What Would You Have Done?

11 years ago

Had a rather unique experience yesterday at the grocery store. I was in the produce dept. and happened to notice a man a couple aisles over who was picking grapes and cherries out of the bags for sale, stuffing some in his pockets and eating some. He was dressed in a shirt and tie and did not look to be impoverished. He was not pushing a cart or carrying a basket. I didn't see an employee I could alert so I just stood there and gave him "the look." He finally caught my eye....and proceeded to grab more grapes! I just shook my head and went about my business.


The grapes and cherries are sold by weight so it wasn't like he was costing a customer money (the store was taking the hit, tho, and therefore the customers too) but the thought of someone reaching into the bags with their filthy paws really irked me. He finally went wandering down one of the aisles, no doubt looking for something else to eat for free.


What would you have done?



Comments (63)

  • 11 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I would have done nothing. I'm always willing to be a Good Samaritan to help someone in need but this situation isn't anything like that.

  • 11 years ago

    I would not approach the person, I agree that he could have dementia or some other mental health problems. I might mention it to a store employee if one was around. As was stated they have lots of cameras around the stores so they may have been watching him already.

    I did go alert a store manager when I saw a younger man who was stuffing his pockets with canned goods and lunch meat. He saw me see him and I am pretty sure he knew I reported him. I was an aisle over when he went to the register, he looked around and saw a few store guys standing around so he started pulling the stuff out of his pockets and putting them on the check out counter. There was no way to tell if he put it all out. The manager did take him aside and speak to him and did check his pockets. I went through a few minutes later and he came and thanked me. He said there's no doubt he was going to steal the stuff but I scared him. He said they told him they had been monitoring him through the store on monitors and saw him pocketing the items. He told him to avoid embarrassment in the future never put items in your pockets because we will shake you down we are watching.

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  • 11 years ago

    I was shopping at my local supermarket and noticed a young woman who was shopping but didn't have any cart or basket. One of the managers came up to her and offered to bring her a basket. Evidently it's suspicious when a shopper doesn't have any thing to put the items in. Shoplifters do that. She was indignant and thought he was accusing her of shoplifting.

  • 11 years ago

    I never thought of that. I hate to carry stuff around much with my achy back. I do hate being asked multiple times by multiple workers, but that they were wondering if I was shoplifting has never entered my mind. Oh well. I have no worries in that area.

  • 11 years ago

    That reminds me something I saw at my local Safeway awhile back. I was in the corner by the front doors where the bakery and shelves of bread are located. I saw a man with a paper Safeway bag putting loaves of bread in the bag. He didn't look like someone I would feel comfortable approaching. I looked for someone in the bakery to let them know, but no one was there. He saw me looking at him and took off at a quick walk toward the front door and was out and gone.

  • 11 years ago


    blueheron

    Hmm...that reaction would sort of confirm my suspicions.


  • 11 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Well, I've never even thought about stealing (the worst I've done is drink an individually sold item and pay for the empty container at the register), but I have popped in for two items without picking up a basket, then ended up balancing four or five things I remembered along the way. I don't mind if they keep an eye on me or anything, but I do pay for them all!

    I agree with the consensus--I'd think the man pocketing grapes didn't have his full faculties and say something to the manager or a senior checker if the man didn't seem to have someone with him. While what he was doing was stealing, and to a certain extent, vandalism, it sounds disordered rather than malicious, so I'd be hoping they'd be able to make sure he was restored to his family, or had a social worker to look in on him. If I saw someone stealing for money, I'd report him fast, but if it looked like the stealing was for hunger (food to eat, not luxury items to sell) I'm not sure. If the person appeared to be open, I might say I had room in my basket and would be happy to take the items through checkout (i.e., buy them) for her (or him, but this is easier to do woman to woman). If the person seemed desperate or angry, however, I think I would leave it to store security, or tell the cashier as I was checking out. It's not that I condone stealing, but if I were at my wits' end and starving, or worse, had starving children, I might turn to theft if work and begging failed. Since I'm not police, I'd try to have some compassion and mostly stay out of it.

  • 11 years ago

    Well, I notice that nobody, so far, has made mention of the fact that we do not know how many "filthy paws" have touched the fruit/vegetables before we buy them. As to what I would have done...probably nothing.

  • 11 years ago

    I assume many hands of various cleanliness touch everything I buy in the grocery store so I wash it all thoroughly. Wouldn't bother me to see someone touching fruit I might buy.

  • 11 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    I'd have made a funny comment- good or bad. My sil has worked in loss prevention for grocers and they usually know who does this kind of thing. There is a limit on how much they tolerate. Most stores are packed with hidden cams. It is a shame, but there are even cams down low in front of the checkout counter because people try to smuggle things out below the checker's field of vision. There is a pretty famous video clip online of a woman trying to smuggle a watermelon out of a store between her legs. Edit... that was a turkey, not a watermelon.

  • 11 years ago

    Excuse me, M'am, but are your birthing a baby or smuggling a watermelon?

  • 11 years ago

    Okay, musicgale, now that would have bothered me if she had put the watermelon back on the shelf after trying to hide it between her legs....lol.

  • 11 years ago

    I think there are just people who get off on getting something for free. I saw a man eating the grapes in a supermarket once - and not just one to taste. I walked over to him, looked him in the eyes and said, "Where I come from, they call that stealing."

  • 11 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Re dirty paws: The only time I assume the produce is clean is when it is completely sealed and says "washed and ready to eat" and even then I have my doubts...

  • 11 years ago

    justlinda ----my first thought was........eeeewwwww.....who knows who's been pawing those grapes and you're stuffing them in your mouth....gross! I would have said something to management and let them handle it. They might already know him as a person with mental illness, homeless, etc. (the grapes in our store are already in bags, so at least a little more protected).

    when I was in my 20's I stayed a little late at the office one day. As I was waiting for the elevator, our IT guy came out to get on the elevator. I'm sure he thought everyone was gone for the day because he was surprised to see me there but he couldn't really turn back. He had a shopping bag with handles and inside were a bunch of rolls of toilet paper. I never said anything because it would have been my word against his and since the women in the office didn't like him, mainly because of his lack of hygiene and personal grooming, it might have appeared that I was just trying to get him into trouble because I didn't like him. He made a very good salary and could easily afford TP.


  • 11 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Petty theft. I would assume the person is deranged. I would not approach him, nor would I report him unless I were to see him doing this again. I would report someone pocketing something of larger value, especially something that could easily be resold.

  • 11 years ago

    If it was a store in a large chain chances are security was watching or filming.

    I would have alerted the folks at the front desk.

  • 11 years ago

    A little off topic but here goes. I am guilty of tasting cherries and grapes b/c there is nothing that irritates me more than paying for the bag, only to discover once home that they are bitter or green. I am not going back to return a bag of grapes so I do taste. This is especially important to me when the item is a SALE item. 50% of the time, the items are mealy, or bitter, or otherwise unacceptable. I've been had too many times with the so-called bargains. Once a manager saw me eating cherries and I explained to him why. He tasted the cherries and from his face I could tell he agreed that they were acid. I told him "see?" It's not like a get a handful, just one or two. But now that you guys have posted about filthy paws, I don't know what i'll do.

  • 11 years ago

    I might have said, "You know, a lot of this produce is picked by migrant workers, and they don't have much of anything for bathrooms or handwashing out there in the fields. You're eating poop grapes, pal. Poop grapes."

  • 11 years ago

    "He finally caught my eye....and proceeded to grab more grapes! " This statement makes me think he was an arrogant cheapskate without shame or thought to others. He most likely does this thing frequently, because no one stops him. A few dollars in grapes to chain stores is likely the cost the store is willing to take to avoid conflict or problems the "customer" might create. They just pass this loss to the next legitimate customer. I doubt I would say anything if he was just stealing because he was a jerk my saying anything would not mean a thing. Like the OP I have been know to give dirty looks. Of course if there was a mental emotional issue, saying something could turn out badly. As mentioned above I doubt there is much that happens today in stores that cameras don't catch. Too bad there isn't a shoppers shamming web site like the dog or cat shamming site.

  • 11 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Poop grapes, indeed. Produce can be filthy, and that's why I don't sample.

    I think you can sample a grape or cherry to test the batch, but the real peril is what you're ingesting.

  • 11 years ago

    "He finally caught my eye....and proceeded to grab more grapes! " and to me this statement says that he is suffering some type of mental illness. That does not justify what he was doing. I still would,let,a manger know.



  • 11 years ago

    Ummm maybe this guy worked there. It's a possibility! And, just because he grabbed more grapes doesn't mean he has 'some type of mental illness'. Horrors if we judge people by this standard. And I hate to think how your statement sits with people who do actually have a mental illness.

  • 11 years ago

    I wouldn't have done anything but maybe smile and asked if they were good today. Wearing a shirt and tie doesn't mean someone isn't in financial trouble or even homeless. Where housing costs are high, a lot of working people still can't afford to eat and pay rent. Years ago when I was younger, I was homeless for about six months and it was life altering. I never stole anything, but I have to admit there were times I went hungry. I prefer to assume that if someone is stealing like that, they must need to for a reason.

  • 11 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Ah, maybe the guy was from Quality Assurance.

    Mystery Shopper?

  • 11 years ago

    I probably would not have done anything.

    Today I was in Starbucks and happened to be looking at two little boys about 7-8 years old. One picked up a foil packet of something for sale and licked the front, put it back on the counter. The other little boy saw me looking and gave me a guilty little smile and wave, even tho' he didn't do it. If I had it to do over again, I would tell the boy he just licked 10 billion germs off the front of the package.

  • 11 years ago


    so I asked my husband the ex co manager of a grocery store what he would have done. His first statement to me was I would swat his pocket. Then I said really what would you have really done? He said he would go and introduce himself to the man and then ask if he could help him. Then just stand there until he left. Those types of food don't cost that much to lose money on. It happens so little. Mostly kids who will help themselves to a grape or two.

  • 11 years ago

    LOL Love the pocket swatting, Grandmamary.

  • 11 years ago

    They can't do anything unless they see him do it, but I would tell them so they could watch him thru the rest of the store.

  • 11 years ago

    I would not have tried to catch his eye, but tried to be as un-noticed as possible, slipped away and notifed the store personnel. I would avoid letting him know that I saw him because I would not want him to know who turned him in. People with that mentality may also be vindictive and you could become his target.

    Another possibility, although he wore nice clothes, he may not have had much money on him and was out of a job. However, from your description, I think he was an ordinary shoplifter.

  • 11 years ago

    I would leave him alone. I doubt the manager of my store would bother to make a fuss. His family would thank you. There is a High School near my store and at lunchtime teenagers enter in flocks and steal. Confrontations are dangerous. They do their best to deter future easy pickins.

  • 11 years ago

    I'd not assume that the thief was impaired in anyway....just an entitled grocery thief. It's very common, the 'sampling' of anything that's not tied down.

    I'll tell you what I've said the one time I was in the vicinity of the grapes, shopping for my own. I gave him my up eyebrow look and asked him to point out any bags that he hadn't rifled through. He pulled away to leave and I said, "Sir...wait! You forgot your grapes!"

    Strictly for my own selfish amusment.


  • 11 years ago

    One of my customer owns big Grocery store. I would told them the bag was pre weighed and he was on camera.-and pointed it out to him Lot of people do this-feed kids-eat as they go.

  • 11 years ago

    I see people eating stuff in the produce department all the time. I would try to ignore them but it would bug me. I doubt that if you told anyone, they would apprehend the guy and get him for shoplifting 50 cents worth of produce?

  • 11 years ago

    What is really upsetting is seeing people take things from a salad bar. I no longer will buy anything from those.

    In Panera's, the tea is presented canisters with tongs. I saw a young girl take one out, smell it and then put it back.

    Things like this do bother me, but I do know our bodies can certainly sustain lots of germs. Otherwise, we would all be sick or hospitalized on a regular basis.




  • 11 years ago

    My first thought was a diabetic that found himself suddenly low on sugar with no juice in his pocket. My colleague at work just spent hours in the ER with a low sugar episode.

  • 11 years ago

    People sampling a grape here and there doesn't bother me. Picking at things that don't need "taste testing" is offensive, like loose candy.

    Perhaps my biggest peeve is people who decide they don't want something and just leave it wherever instead of putting it back.

    Height of laziness, imo.

  • 11 years ago

    I've seen several people shoplift jewelry and small items.. mainly at Wal-Mart. Honestly, between the time you watch it happen and the time it takes to find someone who works there, the person has already moved on.


    About 15 years ago, we had a guy walk out with us at Wal-Mart when we had a full cart. It set the buzzer off. He kept on walking. It was a diversion to get us searched while he went free. He handed one item to the greeter, set the alarm off again and just kept on walking. The greeter said they weren't allowed to chase after shoplifters.

  • 11 years ago

    I saw an elderly (sweet grandparent looking) couple at Golden Corral come back to their table with a huge pile of dessert items and immediately, I figured that they were planning to steal those cookies and fudge...well sure enough I saw "grandma" sticking them in a ziploc bag and putting them into her purse. It was a lot too, not just a couple cookies for later. Should I have reported them?

  • 11 years ago

    Unless they're obviously well off (stylish, expensive new clothes, coiffures, etc.), there's a reasonable chance they're living on a very tight budget and financing their meal out by taking extras for later. A younger person I might want to have learn the rules and practice of good citizenship. The elders, or people obviously down on their luck, I'd have more compassion for. If I thought the restaurant didn't know, I'd probably tell them what I'd seen, in general, but not bust the grands. There are fine lines between compassion and condoning, butting in and assisting. sticking up for principle and tale bearing, and it's hard to figure out exactly what is best. The restaurant may know all about it and choose to look the other way.

  • 11 years ago

    Being on a limited budget doesn't justify stealing.


    Since they were stashing desserts rather than "food", they may have been thinking they were exercising a prerogative I'd suggest they didn't have. I dislike people like this. It's one thing to have a few screws loose, something very different to do things because of thinking that it's an entitlement.

  • 11 years ago

    I knew someone who would go to a restaurant with the all you can eat salad bar. She would then bring the dinner entree home for her husband. She felt that she paid for it and could do as she wished with the entree.

    Is she crossing the line here? She had no intention of eating the actual meal.

    I know people who ask to take the bread that is left over in the bread basket. But this is very different then taking home things from a buffet.

    Side story: My cousin had a birthday party for herself at a local Japanese restaurant. We would all receive a menu and all the items were small portions. You could order as much as you wanted. When she was firming up plans for the party, the staff worker mentioned that if a guest left over something they ordered, she would have to pay an additional charge! She wound up speaking to the manager and was about to cancel the party. He said that they would not do this to her guests. I have never heard of such a thing!


  • 11 years ago

    Yes, she paid for it bui I always thought you had to eat however much you wanted AT.the establishment not take home a doggy bag.. I am surprised she is allowed to do that.

  • 11 years ago

    I don't understand. If someone in the party ordered something and couldn't finish it, your cousin had to pay extra for it?

  • 11 years ago

    Yes, that was the premise! I don't know who would let them get away with this practice. But my cousin threatened to move the party else where and they let us order what we wanted, eat or not eat all of it etc.

  • 11 years ago

    I've seen that a few times at buffets. All the ones I've seen have been Asian food at small, family owned restaurants. I guess they lose too much money if people fill their plate and only pick at it. My guess is it's more a reminder for people to be considerate about wastefulness than something that is actually enforced.

  • 11 years ago

    I figured out why McDonald's has signs up that say "Free refills this visit only". Someone finally admitted to me they bought one McDonald's drink and dumped it into a second cup so they could keep the other cup in their purse. They just went in and continued to reuse the original cup any day they wanted a drink.

  • 11 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    In the 60's, when I was a teenager, my family went to an all you can eat buffet...we rarely went out so it was special for our family of 5...we saw a little old lady sitting alone stuffing her purse with food...I would have liked to do that but it was not allowed, to take food home...I mentioned to a worker and he said they knew she took food, gave me a look like I was picking on the poor lady so after that I don't care what other people do, I came off looking like a tattletale

  • 11 years ago

    they don't have to look or be poverished, they have issues that can have them doing it, we don't know.

    What really got me I would go to this store and I did see this lady taking lychees and they were a very expensive treat I found out about and loved them and she eating them like anything and not paying for them, told the guy working in produce and he said she came every single day and didn't do anything and that really got to me when I paid big for mine and they did nothing at all.

    I would see parents grabbing the bulk weiners that they would pull off the links and give to their kids to eat and themselves and wondered are they going to mention that at the cashier that they ate all that? And yes, someone said packages, I would find open ones too.

    They brought out bulk stuff and I would hear of the hands that went into them grabbing and eating.

    I got into trouble once as couldn't find tongs and so trying to get what I wanted by only touching mine I put into the bag. A clerk came over and I explained to him and he said do this and too the bags you use and you put your hand inside it and pull out what you wanted and turning the bag inside out, neat I did do that when no tongs to use.

    I liked it when they brought cookies and gave to kids free one and that helped alot.

    Some people dont' care and others have problems and some just take to take.

    Its like the stories of seeing rich people in their fancy cars change to old stuff on and go and have free food to eat and then come back to change into fancy clothes and off they would zoom,

    A senior at this centre I go too runs around and he gets free breakfast every single morning a huge one too he said and he goes and gets free soups and makes the rounds, he owns but it wasn't for sure if he still did or not three houses and he owns a boat as he goes crabbing. And he never has money in wallet or on himself as he wants it all free but we tell him you have to pay such and such if you want like we all do.

    kathy


  • 11 years ago
    last modified: 11 years ago

    Geez folks, have some compassion! She was probably multi-tasking. Thawing the turkey and keeping cool at the same time.

    "My first thought was a diabetic that found himself suddenly low on sugar with no juice in his pocket." Wow. That seems a really stretching rationalization! Why not go for the candy? Every diabetic I know carries little candies with them, not a bag of grapes. I can't buy into that at all.

    It really troubles me, and aids the thieves when people look for reasons to excuse crime. Turn your backs on it until it happens to you then wonder why it happened. In this case, I'd have taken out my new cell phone that has a camera in it and point it at him, start recording if I figured out how it works. With my old phone I'd probably hold it up and point it like I was recording. I'm fairly confident he has a cell in his pocket and would think he's being not just noticed but recorded.

    I guess with the background I have in crime prevention, law enforcement, investigations, business and the like, and being the victim of crimes myself, I may have a tainted look on things (which I prefer to think of as a "different perspective"), but I have trouble trying to make excuses for everything. I have big problems with the "I don't want to get involved" and "I'm afraid of them" type of people. Find out what happened, don't cover for them. If they have an illness, and I don't think this guy did, they're still guilty of a crime. (Former pro wrestler) Verne Gagne killed a man. He had Alzheimer's but the victim was no less dead. Not right IMO to cover eyes and ears and ignore it. The legal system should decide whether their "impairment" should mitigate the charge as they did in the Gagne case.

    Assuming that stores have a massive army of security people is just not the way it is in most stores. Few are like casinos with people who do nothing but watch cameras (monitors to be more precise) for theft. Few have armed security guards. The store probably wouldn't do much without a complaint from a customer. Thinking that you could do your shopping and tell a cashier 1/2 hour later isn't very pragmatic either. How long will the guy be eating? LOL

    It's not as big a deal in the bigger stores as in the smaller ones but theft has a bigger impact in the small stores. Convenience stores for instance. When an inventory comes up short it generally comes out of bonus money, that's money that is paid to managers and employees. So thinking the big corporate monster is always absorbing the costs for us isn't correct.

    A friend of mine worked at a big DIY store which shall remain nameless but starts with an "L". He said their policy was clear: Never confront a thief. They didn't care if it was the "weekend warriors" (ones who, for instance, buy nail guns, do their roofs over the weekend and return the used tool afterward claiming it was never used) or someone walking out the door with something. Their rationalization? They didn't want to lose a customer! My friend went "WHAT?????!!!!" They said yes, they'll still likely come and buy other stuff. I refuse to shop at that place since.