Have a party to celebrate breaking ground. Send emails! Be excited :)

Then everyone will know what's going on and you may enjoy telling them, once you're further along with the process!

Ugh, yes! My least favourite question is "when will it be done?"

I try to remind myself it's just their way of making conversation. It's not the same as when DH asks if X is done. If I'm not in the mood to discuss it, I just change the subject after a vague, "it's moving along."

i think it's great that your friends and family are showing interest. mine are the opposite. they couldn't care less.

My favorite non-answer answer to a lot of things is 'Oh, everything's coming along just like it should!' - say it with a smile and then ask something about their life - 'So how's little Susie doing at camp?' If they have a real interest, they'll as something more specific and if not, you've just changed the subject. It's conversation, not judgement!

I usually love talking about my home projects, so your F&F likely assume you do too. They're making polite conversation. If you don't want to slog through the details, then just have a stock answer ready, like "it's plugging along," (kind of like saying "fine" when someone asks, "how are you?").

Or start a simple blog and post refer photos there. Refer anyone who asks to the blog.

The general concept of asking me what's going on with the house is fine. It's usually the tone or the additional comment they make when I say "nothing because of blah blah blah" that sets me off. I feel like people think you can just throw money at contractors and badaboom, it'll be done!

I do post house updates on Facebook, and I do excuse the question from people who don't use Facebook. It's the ones that know I'll post on Facebook when I have an update, yet they still ask.

autumn4 I was thinking of the exact same analogy and how the annoyance level is so very similar!

We got tons of questions too, so ever since we bought the land I've been blogging about it and every so often I'll post it to facebook - that way friends/family are up to date and I don't have to explain it a million times. If they want to see what's happening - they can click on the link. Plus, I like that it documents the design process and ultimately I'm going to turn it into a coffee table book once the house is built. There's sites like www.blog2print.com that with a click of a button will turn your blog into a professional book! Super simple.

I like a few of the other suggestions posted on here - have a party, "it's going along just like it should", and of course the analogy to starting a family!

I'm thrilled friends and family care enough to ask. Of course I'm still in the early stages of the project so I might feel differently 1 year from now.

I'm building our house myself, single-handed, and I'm in my 60's. It's been a long process; 3 years now, but we're nearly done. As you can imagine, I've heard the questions a LOT. To make it worse, our little church knows all about it and everyone is very curious, so that adds about 100 more people asking questions! I think for most people, it is a good conversation starter, and I've learned to tell the difference between people who are being polite, and those that are really interested. For me, the question I don't like is, "When will it be finished?" Sometimes I feel a bit defensive when asked that. I usually laugh it off with, "That's what my wife wants to know!" Oddly enough, my wife is probably the only person who hasn't asked me that.

We had our property for about 5 years before starting, but we didn't really say much about it until construction had already begun. Only a few friends and family even knew we owned the land.

We had our property for five years, and spent a full year on a previous set of plans that we thought were buildable until we got all sorts of red flags and had to can the plans and start over. Now we've got a new prelim design, a budget that works, but permitting and finalizing the drawings is hitting delay after delay.
So I hear ya!

I hear what you are saying...but with me, I never brought up the house unless someone asked and then all the answer they got was that it was going fine and thank you for asking. I did not want to drive my family/friends crazy talking about it and it was too much overload with all the decisions and such that I did not want to really talk about it. I kept it to myself - it was much better that way - at least for me. Don't talk about it and if asked, keep it simple and move on. That way you are not on stress overload. We built a total custom - I designed every inch. I posted a pic several years back about the cartoon house I thought about doing and received so many negative responses from this forum that I never asked anything on here about my house plans again as that alone stressed me out. if it adds bad stress to your life, try to get rid of it :)

But in case anyone is wondering, we did indeed create the toontown house and it is so awesome :)

What I found to be more awkward were the questions about when you were going to have your open house - from people that were more acquaintances than friends. People that you might think odd to see the private parts of your home? That left me a little speechless and they were repeated requests.

Anyhow. If you haven't ever built I think it's tough to grasp or realize all that goes into it. I would stay basic with those people but others that would actually 'get it' might share a little more detail.

Nobody will understand it and feel for the details as much as you, it is just a normal courtesy and curiosity Q like, How are you? Or How was your day? Also dont bore them with details either like someone said unless they ask.

Everybody is busy with their lives and will only care for it when they are in the same boat as you are. I joined GW groups and used it as my perfect research and venting tool. :-)

cefoster, I would LOVE to see your home. I love homes that are unique.

Me too!

cefoster, me three!

Your friends and family are excited for you and it's an easy conversation starter. With the attitude you've shown in this post, I can see why they may need an ice breaker to build a conversation from.

I don't mind the "how's it going?" question, but I am less fond of "when will it be done?" Done? what's that? Have you met us? We live in a 100 year old house we've owned for 30 and it isn't "done"!

(cefoster: Ditto! I want to see something non-standard! Please!)

The answer to "When will it be done?" is, "When the moving truck pulls up to pack us for our next house, I'll still be fussing and arranging curtains - a house is never done."

It is easy to identify with the above comments. Some of the questioning was just innocent conversation starters. Some folks just did it to poke fun at us because they knew we were way behind in our original timetable. So, towards the end, I started to be proactive in a passive/aggressive kind of way and offer tours of the house. You know- "oh, you just have to come over and see it... ( squealy voice) I am so excited to have you see it. They are working on getting EVERY little detail right before we move in. And you know, that's worth the wait, don't you think... because it's so much nicer than anything we've ever had before..." Most of these folks really DON'T want to see your beautiful new home. Jealousy, whatever... they have other motivations for bringing it up.

So, I didn't get many takers and most of the offending parties just shut up because they did not want to make the long trip out here.

I did do some tours though. Right at the very beginning when things were a mess and it was hard to tell what went where, so I avoided showing a finished product to any Cretan who was looking for something to criticize. They couldn't come back with a complaint that I had not invited them or held back info later. Of course, even with all that we still got snide comments from some folks.

You really want to think that everyone is happy for you when you build a new home, but it is not neccessarily true with everyone.

"You really want to think that everyone is happy for you when you build a
new home, but it is not necessarily true with everyone."

that is sad. but I guess it can be true, mostly though...

it is just sad. I'm always happy for folks to build personally.

best of luck.

If building a home weren't so frustrating it wouldn't be frustrating to get frustrating questions that can only be answered by explaining the frustration of dealing with all the frustrations.

Did I mention building a home can be frustrating? Building a pre-Modern, traditional home can be much more frustrating than the frustration normally associated with building a home. In such a case, not only does one have to explain "how things are going" but, also, justify or otherwise explain choice of materials and techniques. I think the frustration increases in proportion to the extent the owner is involved.

Fortunately, the frustration passes as the project nears apparent completion. Just remember the feeling of frustration comes from disappointment. Successes, no matter how small, can be a positive focal point to get through the numerous disappointments and sources of stress along the way.

I talk little about my house that is being built. Frankly it's a very expensive home far better than most friends and family and I don't want to rub it in. Not that they aren't happy for me....they will see it sooner than later as its being built ahead of schedule. Really going fast.

Sure, toriat, rub it in that your build is going fast. ;)

Nah, it's been slow for the last year. :)

The worst part for us is that we knew our builder previously, and he knows half the people we know, so when mutual acquaintances ask how it's going… Well, I have to lie.

Cefoster

Show us the house! I love unique.

I've had my land for about 15 years now -- when people asked in the past, I simply said, "building up the bank account". Now... that I'm actually DOING... I just wish I could tell anyone and everyone. For obvious reasons, I haven't informed those folks I see every day at work -- the house is definitely out of commuting distance -- but I am chomping at the bit now! (We have to come up with a "Development Plan" at work each year -- I do hope to retire by this time next year, so creating one -- that they'd accept -- has been a hassle this time around...)

On another level: I seriously really wish I'd been able to answer Dad about this -- he passed away last November. I told him I had a GC (who I changed this spring). I gave him some ideas of plans. But he remained worried that nothing was moving and that I'd be all alone where ever I moved. I'll note, on a sad note, that even if the build had been progressing back then, I'm not sure he'd have remembered it from one day to the next.

The message of this one is: I really wish he were still around to be asking me!

We have the exact same problem. We started looking at land 2-3 years ago, switched lots 2 times, then finally bought our lot just over a year and a half ago. We have been working on plans for over a year. It seems everyday someone asks how its going. Especially my parents! They constantly say- just build something already! There have already been so many problems and delays. My husband keeps complaining as well, blaming a lot of the time on me (since he's fine with any floorpan, any exterior etc.). With the amount of money this will cost, I want to get things [mostly] right. The house is already so stressful and we have so much ahead of us still