I am glad I found this site, to see that others feel the same as I do. I lost my mother last week, she passed away Feb 27, 2013 at the age of 65. My mother was my soul mate, she was my best friend and recently she felt like a daughter. I miss the sparkle in her eyes. She had been ill for about 8 years, on and off, and each time she seemed to get better. She always had such a great attitude and sense of humor. I thought she would get better this time too. I was her caretaker, along with my father for the last 2 years. Before that I worked with her and saw her every day. I have seen her or talked to her every day of my life. I am only 30 years old and I always thought I would have her around for another 20. I still feel like a child, and without her I feel lost. I don't have children yet, and I know that when I do it will be bitter-sweet because she is not here. The pain I feel is very intense and I am exhausted, I have only begun grieving and I wonder when it will end (but I see now that it never will). I am not sure what to make of all these strange feelings. A week before she passed away, angels came to me and told me that she would feel better by the end of the following week. Even though my interpretation was wrong, they were right, she does feel better. Since her passing she has been talking to me and that is a huge comfort, she tells me she is happy and that she will always be by my side. She tells me she is excited to meet her grandchildren. She has been telling me not to wait to live my life anymore, to have fun. She also said to think of her transition as a long vacation, we will see each other again when my flight lands. My story is so similar to all the others I have read, so I am sure your mothers are by your sides helping and guiding you through your lives. Talk to your mothers because they hear you and the love they feel for you is pure.

You are definitely NOT nuts. We had two Siamese, an uncle and his nephew, from the same breeder. The uncle was a dog-like cat as Siamese are touted to be--he loved people, not shy at all, played with our children, was a gentleman all around. The nephew really bonded with him and, unfortunately, never with us and once we had children, the nephew clearly only tolerated us to change the litter and feed him. The uncle died at 16 years, renal failure and a stroke--heartbreaking. The nephew went into deep mourning. He stayed in the unfinished side of our basement, coming out only to eat. He would hide when he heard us coming, gained weight and went blind (no kidding.) Vet could find nothing wrong with him, and we really figured this cat was going to die from a broken heart. He was 15. After several months, we brought home a kitten. Alexander dragged his bulk over to investigate and after a few hisses... a miracle! No, he didn't regain his sight, but did lose weight and had another relatively active and happy (for him) two years with his new companion Tigger. T'was truly amazing.

After losing what I did last year and pets before that and on and on my mind was much, couldn't concentrate and put one foot in front of the other and would be driving and not a clue except out of habit could drive it. I agree do not do anything no matter what for a full year, find counselling, grieving and talk it out and let it out and don't worry about what others tell you, I had ones that said suck it up. live life and that is how it goes. And no crying and you don't want your dad back old and sick as he was and on and on it was all the time. Then the wills are unreal and you find out so much and trying to find out things and your mind can't remember and can't concentrate and you can't do anything. I was forced to move and to this day my living room is full of bins and boxes, just can't do it I find. No energy, no zip, this is not my home and on and on it goes. Your life totally changes many of us, we find out things we wish we didn't or experience either. Hold off as long as you can if you can as I know many can't and financially must be force to sell and do things but if possible, don't rush into anything and wait until you can finally concentrate and your mind isn't mush and you can figure things out more. Get a lawyer too if you can afford one, well worth it and make sure all is legal and you don't do something crazy while later you go what I did what? Surround yourself if you have good friends around them and be with them and don't be afraid to talk things out and talk those painful things you are hurting so bad and then good memories and everything. Don't let anyone tell you to stop grieving and don't be afraid to cry, to sob loud and long, to scream it out and to be so angry, its all normal to feelings. And be careful to not let others know you are now alone, don't do obits in papers as you will have people come out of the wood work after you and if you inherit, have good money, you would be surprised who will come at you and want to take it from you. Vent, whatever to get it out and even years from now, the pain can be just as strong the missing of them and wanting them there with you. Don't feel bad if you talk to them as that is normal too. I will find myself looking for our beloved pets gone and call out for my buddy's name. I will find myself turning around to chat with my dad or ask him something and find he's not there. Go your own way, don't follow what others tell you as we are all so different when we lose loved ones, pets and humans alike. And some of us grieve so deeply and others never or lightly and that is it. kathy

My DS had two 'best friends' from early grammar school on. Coins were flipped to determine who would be 'best man' at each one's wedding. One of these 'boys' died suddenly in late summer two years ago, leaving a widow and two children under 10. When I wrote to his parents, who live some distance from us, I spoke of the close connection and of the major (positive) role they and their son held in our lives. I also sent a card that Thanksgiving and at Christmas. (We don't 'do' cards in general.) Our DS traveled to their home in advance of the funeral and has kept in touch. I had never met this young man's wife, nor his children. To them, I sent a card with just a few lines of sympathy. We asked to be notified when a fund was set up for the family, expecting to contribute generously. Eventually, his parents responded that they'd unexpectedly discovered that their son had a large insurance policy -- no help needed beyond our continuing friendship. They were great parents, and he was a fine person. I would only go this far towards someone I had known and liked very well for some time.