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Week 54: are you honest with others, or at least yourself?

Texas_Gem
8 years ago

Looking at all the pics posted and considering my own behavior, I realized that; at least personally, I always try to present the "best" side of myself/my house online.


I clean up or stage before taking photos BUT that isn't how I truly live. If I can't post honest pictures when asking for advice, how can I expect honest answers?


So I challenge you, walk into your kitchen (or other room you are working on right now) and DON'T touch or move anything; just take a picture. Chances are, unless you are having an off week, that is how it normally looks.


Will you post it? No one here will judge and you can always present your pretty staged photos in your reveal but for once, let's show what we ACTUALLY live in.


I'll go first. Here is a current pic of my kitchen.


There are smudges on the appliances, I haven't pulled the grates and cleaned the stove top yet, the kids lunch boxes are sitting on the counter, waiting to be filled on Tuesday when they go back to school, that enormous stack of binders and papers behind the knife block will eventually be located in the mudroom on my desk but for now they take up space in my kitchen.

I've got 2 very ripe bananas sitting near my stand mixer, I'm making banana nut bread with them tomorrow. I've got a wedding present towel that is old and ratty hanging in front of my sink to dry hands on.

My window sills are almost always filled with flowers, tchotchkes, and the "good behavior" cans I let my kids make.


This is me, the true me, this is how I truly live and as much as I may enjoy looking at pictures of these beautifully staged, counters empty kitchen, I must admit I will NEVER have that because I'm not like that.


Fighting against my own nature will do nothing but cause me heartache. As the ancient Greeks always said, "know thyself."


I need to plan for how I really live, not how I "dream" of living. I must admit to myself that even if I won the lottery and I was able to complete every single part of my house to my vision, that vision would only last for a week or two.


It is better for me to plan for how I ACTUALLY live than to try to adjust my way of living to some fantasy.


How about you? Are you planning a dream kitchen that doesn't actually fit with how you live? Are you being realistic with yourself and planning for how you REALLY live or are you planning for "how you hope you might live if you only had the right space?"

Comments (67)

  • Terri_PacNW
    8 years ago

    Here's a shot from the other "entry".


  • christina222_gw
    8 years ago

    It's a good space though Terri, when you get to updating it you'll have some options.

    I broke out the brad nailer and the jigsaw and started on my beadboard in the bathroom. I've never used either tool before but it was pretty easy. I've got the Ryobi Air Strike nailer. No compressor, no hose, no air cartridges. I really like it. The fact that it uses a battery makes it fairly heavy though.


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  • catbuilder
    8 years ago

    "Will you post it? No one here will judge..." Yeah, right. The truth is, all those posted kitchens are what my goal is for when my kitchen IS cleaned up! And I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but all your photos and apologies remind me of the girls that are always saying "I'm so fat", when they're 5'-5" and weigh 110 lbs.

  • beth09
    8 years ago

    I have to say, I was just about to say the same thing as catbuilder, only different. lol These pics are usually my kitchen on a GOOD day. Not that I am a slob, I'm not, jus sayin....

  • Texas_Gem
    Original Author
    8 years ago

    Catbuilder and beth, my kitchen IS cleaned up, just not staged with all the fancy matching items and no over ripe fruit, kids lunch boxes, etc.

    That was my point. I plan to do a reveal when everything is finished and I guarantee you won't see kids lunch boxes, kids good behavior cans, I will have my pretty decorative towels out, etc. but what I posted is how my kitchen normally looks after the dishes are done.

  • mrspete
    8 years ago

    Well, my camera doesn't want to cooperate, so no pictures ... but no, my kitchen doesn't look like I want it to look. I have WAY more clutter than any of these pictures, so I'm not actually trying too hard to make the camera work.

    As for, Am I honest with myself about how we live? Yeah. At least I think I am. The big problems with my kitchen are pretty common:

    - We don't have an adequate drop spot upon entering the house, so the kitchen cabinet ends up being THE SPOT. We always have piles of mail, wallets and keys, sunglasses and cell phones where they don't belong.

    - Our kitchen LOOKS good and has miles of countertop, but it's so poorly laid out. Though the kitchen is a 16' long galley with a peninsula, all the "major players" are crammed into one small spot, so we actually have about 5' of useful countertop ... and a whole bunch of clutter catcher-space. We have a walk-in pantry, but it's poorly located allll the way at the back of the galley, so you have to cross the whole kitchen to reach it -- and my husband often just drops bags at the entry of the kitchen, blocking access. Finally, we have a desk smack-dab in the middle of the kitchen. Who ever thought that was a good idea?


    I think I'm being honest with myself when I say that we can fix these problems:

    - Our new house will have a pass-through butler's pantry between the garage entry and the kitchen. One side of this butler's pantry will be a walk-in pantry, so a person coming in the house can put things away without ever entering the kitchen.

    - The other side of the butler's pantry will contain a spot for mail, keys, etc. It will include a charging space for phones. And it will have counter space for the coffee pot and the microwave, so those things can be used without disturbing the cook.

    - Our new kitchen will be laid out more thoughtfully so that the stove, sink, etc. will be more functional, and we'll have good lighting for all the parts.

  • Terri_PacNW
    8 years ago

    Honest, the towel is dirty, you can't see that though..lol...over by the vitamin bottles behind the just purchased pineapple is usually my husbands "stuff", but he was out. And the other thing you can't see that always seems to be there is my youngest sons baseball cap with sunglasses, freshly dropped from practice.

  • beth09
    8 years ago
    last modified: 8 years ago

    Terri, lol ;)

    Tex, I won't try and speak for catbuilder, but here was my thinking. The kitchens posted in here, for the most part, don't look anything like what mine might on any given day at an unannounced looksee, with the exclusion of mermanmike's, which looks very real. (yay!) By real I mean, stuff all over, because in the course of living life, a kitchen usually has stuff here and there/all over for various reasons. It's normal, or at least I thought it was. But looking at the kitchens here who were supposed to be "candid" shots, they look more, I dunno. Maybe not staged, but, maybe not real candid? But maybe it's just me, maybe I really AM a slob and don't know it. lol Anywho, no harm meant!

    *runs off to clean kitchen*

  • Bunny
    8 years ago

    As-is. I wanted to crop out the crap where the peninsula meets the wall, but that would have been cheating on an exercise in honesty.

    Empty wine bottle from last night. Unread newspaper. Library book. Charging iPad. Plastic bag from newspaper draped over faucet while drying out.

    Yep, this is real. It always makes me chuckle when people post photos and say, "Please excuse..."



  • cookncarpenter
    8 years ago
    last modified: 8 years ago

    Since there are just the two of us home now, and a small one butt kitchen, and it's my butt, I try to keep things fairly well picked up most of the time. Not always the case when there were two boys and a dog here as well.

    This is a couple hours after breakfast, there are still some crumbs on the counter and floor, and a few utensils hiding in the sink.

    On the other hand, my wife's space, the upper counter, pretty much always looks like this...

  • AnnKH
    8 years ago

    I was going to take a picture of our kitchen - a complete disaster after returning from a 5-day trip. But DH got it cleaned up before I could get in there. I know it's bad when he can't stand it.

  • Terri_PacNW
    8 years ago
    last modified: 8 years ago

    See here's the "hat and glasses" I mentioned earlier. We walked back in from a "quick over night trip" to Portland. Some my recognize the pink box...Voodoo Donuts, 45 min wait, but always worth it. Mr. Baseball's phone ear buds and two of the three water bottles belong to him too...

  • Texas_Gem
    Original Author
    8 years ago

    Oooh, I've heard of voodoo, one of these days I will get to try them!


  • Terri_PacNW
    8 years ago
    last modified: 8 years ago

    The donuts are awesome, but the line is the fun part..chatting with folks from all over, street performers to entertain, pan handlers everywhere. Interesting locals too.

  • amg765
    8 years ago

    Here is the official "before" photo for my kitchen redo I took yesterday. And it is sooo not clean because I wanted to take the pic before I forgot. (Yes, that is a big clump of dog hair peeking out from under the DW ;) )


  • Texas_Gem
    Original Author
    8 years ago

    It is refreshing to see that others don't live in a spotless museum either! ;). Thanks to everyone who has been brave enough to post so far.


    Beth, here is a pic I took just for you.


    This is what I stare at every day while prepping meals. Everything you see here, minus the cookbook on the end near the knife block, are papers that have come home from school.


    Eventually when I get my desk/command center built in my mudroom, these will there. For now though, they sit in my kitchen. Thank god school is done at the end of this week!!

  • Texas_Gem
    Original Author
    8 years ago

    Terri- thanks, I actually do, I just wait until the end of the year. Between PTA, room mom, AND all their work, I prefer to hold onto everything until the end of the year to make sure I don't lose any important info, like the log in info to register in the fall that they sent home the other day and I ALMOST threw in the trash before realizing what it was!!!


    That's why I'm so glad school is almost done. I can do my culling and save only the important papers from the year. :)


    I can't imagine what it will be like when all 4 are in school, this is only 2 of them!! I'm sure by then I'll be better at discerning what things are really important and what things I can trash throughout the year. I hope at least! For now though, I'm still kinda new to it and worried I'll throw away something important.

  • Terri_PacNW
    8 years ago

    Lol..your welcome? :>)

    The other thing I realized with the younger two, was how to display their art work. They of course didnt want to get rid if anything.

    So I bought some flat trim, cut it into 3 ft pieces, painted it to match their bedroom, put it up on the wall in two layers/rows with two sections, so four of them, but to fasten them to the wall I used screws that went through binder clips on each end...voila they displayed whatever art work they wanted. When they got out of elementary, they hung posters from them.

  • CEFreeman_GW DC/MD Burbs 7b/8a
    8 years ago

    Sitting here amidst and covered with cats and their fur, I had to laugh and think, "OMG what a great question." T_G, you've out done ALL topics!

    Of all people, I am THE least ready to show my crap, even after all this time.
    HOWEVER. Warts.
    Just who was it that posted a selfie of herself and the poor woman's botox? Who remembers my painters tape? And if my family or anyone else wants a pic, I'd rather leave than have a pic of myself out there. yet ... I posted one of ME, all ..ahh... botoxed up.

    Ok. When tomorrow comes and there's light, I'll show you my crap. errr, kitchen. I have so much cabinetry now it's insane, but because of my building stuff, nothing is IN the cabinets.

    I'm still watching marathon Hoarders and remain shocked at how much I identify with the Hoarders.

    Juliette, your cat looks like so many I've loved. I hope yours is a snuggler. :)


  • Terri_PacNW
    8 years ago

    I have papers too...But they are graduation time line on the side of the fridge and college timeline letters and reminders on my desk. 2 more weeks for him before graduation, another week and a half beyond that for the younger one.

  • Texas_Gem
    Original Author
    8 years ago

    What a creative way to display artwork!


    I still need to find the right frames, my plan is to turn my dining room into an art gallery for them.


    4 frames for each girl, on their own section of the wall.

    Yet another thing on my to do list! ;)

  • beth09
    8 years ago

    Texas, thanks, that's a bit better. ;) Keep it up! lol

    And good to see all the "lived in" kitchens!

    Ann, sorry we missed it!! ;)

    fishcow, what kind of drainer is that? Looks interesting, and it made me realize, I don't see drainers much in here (this thread), nor anywhere else for that matter. Which is prompting me to start a different thread....

  • oasisowner
    8 years ago


    Here is an honest before picture - with a dish drainer for Beth!

  • CEFreeman_GW DC/MD Burbs 7b/8a
    8 years ago

    OKOKOKOK!!! OT alert: I gotta tell someone!

    I just had the state tax assessor out here.
    I'd called their office, because someone was talking to me about leasing an acre, fencing it, and boarding horses here. (That fell through, though.)

    So I invited her out, anyway, to see what I was doing farm-wise, etc.
    She came, and we got talking. She asked if I was adding on, or remodeling. I explained my 2005 fire situation.
    She said [drum roll] "you should have called us and we'd have taken you off the tax roll while the house was uninhabitable." WHAT!? Evidently people don't know that's a call they should make.
    Well, we were only out for 7 months, but she asked the progress.

    BOY did she get a tour. With all I have and haven't done, she is submitting that my state property tax assessment be halved for the upcoming year. HALVED.

    She said, "Although it's nice and I can see your vision, if you were to sell it right now, you wouldn't get much for it. So we'll adjust." Holy moly.

    She was really nice and we talked for a long time. I guess tax assessors aren't usually 1) invited over, 2) welcome, and 3) greeted with any civility.

    Once again, me being a pretty nice person and one respectful of people doing their jobs has paid off for me.

    [happy dance] wooot WOOT!


  • Texas_Gem
    Original Author
    8 years ago

    Yay Christine!!!!! That is just the kind of break you needed right now. I'm so happy for you!

  • christina222_gw
    8 years ago

    That is fantastic Christine!

  • christina222_gw
    8 years ago
    last modified: 8 years ago

    Good news for me too! The plumber is coming out next Thursday to connect my sink and install the bath and shower trim! I'm about to have a functional second bathroom again! I'm excited, excuse the exclamation marks.

    I put up a new light fixture this weekend (badly) and finished putting up the beadboard (I used my nail gun for the first time and am ridiculously proud of myself.) I need to finish the baseboard and the cap rail and patch where the old light was before then plumber comes. Toilet is being delivered this Thursday. Then it's towel bars, mirror etc.

    I'll have to have an electrician out eventually to replace the temporary fixture with sconces but that will have to wait for the budget to recover a bit!

    Then, nothing. I'm done. For now anyway. I need a break from big projects that disrupt my house, cost a fortune and are exhausting in every way. Anything that involves a comma in the budget is out!

  • beth09
    8 years ago

    lol Thanks oasisowner! Love it. ;)

    Christine, that is wonderful news indeed! That whole thing about, what goes around comes around? True. ;)

    Christina, your bathroom is just going to be gawgeous, simply gawgeous. Love that counter... How exciting. :)

  • Oregongirl61
    8 years ago

    my honest before picture.... that was TOUGH! lol

  • oldbat2be
    8 years ago
    last modified: 8 years ago

    Yay - great news Christine! Glad to hear. Christina_222 - another fan of your progress, it looks terrific. Edited to add that I remember the botox picture!!

    I always clean up before pictures (hey, it's like company coming!). Still, I'll play. Since mid-April, all I've done is grow plants, water, transplant, and start to plant out (growing from seed in the greenhouse, been hanging out on the gardening forums). Next phase is watering, need to figure out drip irrigation, sigh.... Let me amend my earlier paragraph to include our new G.S. puppy - 9 weeks - Gunner. He's a sweetheart but ack! How quickly one forgets what it's like with a baby/toddler around. All of this is a long-winded excuse for the lack of housework.

    Pictures from tonight - baby gates up blocking off access to the rest of the house. Gunner has shoe and sock fetish. Rug sample is from family room remodel - I bought the smallest size possible per forum advice and forgot to send it back:) Then, while looking around for another bed for Gunner, I remembered the sample.

    15 YO DS wanders around with his Spongebob blanket and leaves it wherever. Just out of sight is damaged mac charger with chewed off USB, on table (one guess). Note Build-a-Bear bed, brought down from attic for the puppy. Chairs are never pushed in.

    And the piece de la resistance? My temporary KK handle on main sink (DH works his usual magic). It's under warranty and Kohler is taking a few weeks to ship out the replacement part. (Someone - no names - had a little temper tantrum and snapped the lever off while she was stomping around). Have never gotten around to figuring out a backsplash for this area and obviously haven't had company lately....

    It was fun reading through this - I miss this forum!

  • Texas_Gem
    Original Author
    8 years ago
    last modified: 8 years ago

    Christine- the topic certainly generated a lot more response than we've been getting lately in our weekly threads hasn't it? ;) Though I'm not certain all are pleased, it DID open dialogue. Saying I've out done all topics though is HIGH praise, especially from you, my previous torch bearer! Now *hands on hips* where are those pics you promised??

    Christina- your bathroom is coming along so nicely, it is wonderful to see the light at the end of the tunnel!

    Ob2b, gunner is growing fast!!! I swear, puppies and kittens grow about 10 times as fast as kids, or I guess I should say 7 times as fast. ;) My one regret from my baby who died 2 years ago at age 15 was that I didn't take more pictures of her in her rapid puppy stage. Of course back then it meant a lot of film and paying for developing or paying for chemicals to develop them myself.

    Digital photography has made SUCH a difference in my life, as I know it has in countless others.

    I can document everything now and I LOVE it!! Heck, when my kids lose a tooth or get their first haircut, I take a pic. I can record it in their baby book later by looking at the time stamp. :)

  • beth09
    8 years ago

    Darling puppy ob2b! And I really like the name. :)

  • lazy_gardens
    8 years ago

    The way I tell people it is ...


    As it REALLY is ...


  • mgmum
    8 years ago

    LazyGardens, that's about how my kitchen looks right now! I have plastic lunch dishes draining, half the groceries I bought today are still sitting on the counter waiting to get the fridge emptied a bit before they go in, and the dinner dishes are in the sink! At the end of the stove I have a 9" counter. I have some utensils on there but also the battery charger for the lawnmower. LOL

    Christine, what awesome news! That's great!

    Texas, great topic, and I love your kitchen. I started scanning my kids artwork and save it in a computer file with their name and grade. Talk about kitchens being messy, right now I have a toilet in a box in my front room! LOL

    Christina, your bathroom is really coming along nicely! I should be starting mine within a month. I'm waiting for the detailed quote, though the estimate is about what I thought it would be so that's good.

    OldBat2Be, I thought it was going to be a girl named Hedwig? I do love your boy Gunner, though! He's a cutie!

  • beth09
    8 years ago

    lazy gardens, GREAT post!! lol

  • AnnKH
    8 years ago

    Love it, lazy gardens! I would feel right at home in your house.

    Christine, I'm thrilled for you!

    I didn't get a photo before DH cleaned up the kitchen. We had just returned from a trip to the Boundary Waters Canoe area Wilderness in NE Minnesota, and my son was getting ready to move out, so the kitchen counters were piled high. Here it is this morning - and yes, that's a pair of shoes on the counter.


    Meanwhile, this is what we did last week:

  • beth09
    8 years ago
    last modified: 8 years ago

    "and yes, that's a pair of shoes on the counter."

    Love. It. (that's what I'm talkin about folks, real candid shots) :) And, those pics of your trip, especially the first one? SO jealous here. Lovely, hope you had a great time.

  • lazy_gardens
    8 years ago

    The picture was taken when I took everything out of the cupboards to pack up.

    We are MOVED!!!!

    The SO is there with the painters now, and then it's list that puppy and sell it.

  • designsaavy
    8 years ago
    last modified: 8 years ago

    My daytime reality right now that we are living in is this:

    After the installers cleanup, I cleanup more to this:

    The next day.....it starts all over.

  • Texas_Gem
    Original Author
    8 years ago

    Lol lazy_gardens. I have to admit when I saw your post it reminded me of the viral YouTube videos "Harlem Shake".

    I'm guessing no one else will know what that is but it is a video (several different people have done it) where one person is standing in a room, casually dancing and then when the beat drops, suddenly the room is full of people dressed strangely and dancing in a crazy style.

  • beth09
    8 years ago
    last modified: 8 years ago

    lazy gardens, I had a feeling that's what that pic was of!

    Tex, never heard of it, must check it out now. lol

    DS, your floors are gorgeous! Hang in there, I am sure it will be so worth it.

  • christina222_gw
    8 years ago

    The toilet for my new bathroom was delivered today, the box was a mess but once opened it looks ok. Have to go over it carefully still but I don't see any obvious damage. This box was inside another box. Who ships something like this? Sheesh.


  • mgmum
    8 years ago

    The extremely tiny Ikea vanity/sink I ordered because I don't want another pedestal sink in my teeny tiny bathroom came packed like that. I got the quote, which was about what I was expecting and I need to set up a start date. Yay! I'll need to take some before pics.

  • christina222_gw
    8 years ago

    I'm looking forward to seeing your project! The bathroom forum is much quieter than this one and not as focused on pretty.

  • santabarbaratara
    8 years ago

    I can't tell you how much I LOVE this thread! We started our remodel so I thought I would show a photo of how our kitchen normally was

    Cluttered and well loved for 22 years.

    Here is what we are working towards:

    I am a Houzz addict. Time to start contributing :)

  • Texas_Gem
    Original Author
    8 years ago

    You must join us on our weekly threads santabarabaratara! They aren't usually this active, I just seemed to hit the right nerve this week!

    LOVE seeing candid shots of real, loved and lived in kitchens.

  • santabarbaratara
    8 years ago

    TY Texas Gem! I really have gleaned so much information and confidence from reading through these forums. Everyone is so generous with their expertise and experience.

  • blfenton
    8 years ago

    santabarbaratara - Hopefully after pics will follow when you're finished.


  • beth09
    8 years ago

    Yes, what blfenton said. :)

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