Deee, me too. Thank you, everyone. Marina, I hadn't heard of Sara Ward but just looked up her web site. I will keep an eye on her site to see if she's speaking anywhere around me. dlm, good question with a long answer but will try to be brief. Lots of difficulty with friendship until he was in HS. He was in special ed schools until HS, then went to a regular HS but very small and welcoming to kids with "learning differences." Anyway, he found some good friends there and has held onto a couple of them. Then when he went to college briefly, he made a couple of friends who he is still friends with. In the last two years he has really managed to find a few good friends who are quirky but functioning (I mean, none of them are teachers or lawyers, but they are working musicians or artists or bartenders....). Mostly guys but he does have a couple of girls who are friends. He has had a couple of girlfriends and the last one was a disaster of epic proportions but I won't say more about that here. Most of the friends he's made over the past 2-3 years have been a few years older than him. All have their own apts. so he mainly goes to their places and we don't really see them, so it's hard to describe the dynamics of these relationships. When we do meet his friends, they always seem quirky but very nice. I think the linked article explains NLD/NVLD pretty well. DS doesn't have every feature, but definitely has most, including physical awkwardness (never played sports, trips up or down stairs, etc), OCD tendencies, dominates conversations, lousy hygiene, etc. Some of the features he had when he was younger but not as much now, possibly because he has been in therapy since he was 6 years old!? Here is a link that might be useful: description

I was the last of 3 siblings to marry. My younger sister married first to her college sweetheart a month after graduating. She had a nice wedding at her alma mater (which is also my father's alma mater), not extravagant, but nicely done. My brother had a simple affair in the church hall. Mine was probably the fanciest of the three, but still not extravagant. Funny though, my mother during the initial stages said, "You know, if you prefer to elope, we'll give you the money we would have spent on your wedding to put toward down payment on a house." She was half-kidding. I would have considered it, however, dh was the first of five siblings to marry in his family. HIs mother was DYING for this day. To top it off, dh is a grad of the U.S. Naval Academy which has an absolutely beautiful chapel that MIL was so hoping her son would marry in one day. Fortunately for MIL, her son ended up meeting a local girl (I grew up near the Naval Academy) though we didn't meet until after we'd both graduated college. As the old tradition was that you marry the home area of the female, this worked out well for him - the church I grew up attending was a modern 70s church that I had no love for, so I was open to the idea of marrying at the Academy chapel. I figured it was probably a good idea to start my relationship off with MIL on a bright note and not disappoint her by going off and eloping! I say that in jest, b/c my father loves a party, so if I had taken my mother's offer seriously, I'm sure my father wouldn't have been happy either. So we ended up marrying at the chapel and let me tell you, it has an incredibly long center aisle that is very daunting for a somewhat shy person to have to walk while everyone is watching closely! One of my fondest moments of the ceremony was when dh and I left the altar to give flowers to our mothers and the priest stepped on my veil as I walked away, tearing my veil off my head. There was a gasp in the crowd but I laughed it off and everyone then had a good chuckle. Our reception was limited to 150 (thankfully!) b/c we had chosen a location on the water that could only seat 150. I was totally okay with that as I'd have preferred smaller - we had four guest lists, dh's, mine, my parents, and MIL/FIL. Of the four, mine had the fewest! And considering that dh's family was coming from the West Coast, and his friends were scattered all over the country and world (many in Navy), it was surprising we had so many people. But it was a good size - my parents only invited friends of theirs that I knew (they were hosting the reception). It could have been smaller and fine, but I wouldn't have wanted it any larger. And we were blessed with beautiful weather despite being in July in the typically hot/humid weather of the mid-Atlantic. I wanted to marry in September but dh was teaching at the Academy at that point, so if we wanted to go on a honeymoon, we needed to marry in the summer. I couldn't believe it when I woke up that Saturday morning to a breezy, sunny day with temps in the 70s and no humidity (just two days prior, dh's West Coast friends arrived and played a round of golf in the hot, humid 90s and asked how he could stand to live here!). Chicagoans, funny you suggest camping. A week after dh and I got engaged, we bought a car on the West Coast and spent the next 3 weeks driving across country to see the U.S as we were moving back to the East Coast at that point. We are not campers, but spent many a night pitching a tent to save money. We hiked 10 miles down into Havasu Canyon (part of the Grand Canyon) only to hike back out the next morning after sleeping in a tent next to the Colorado River. One of the hardest things I've ever done! We were not experienced hikers either. Another night was at a campground alongside a rural highway somewhere on the outskirts of Badlands National Park in South Dakota, with 18 wheelers buzzing by all night. LOL And we still wanted to marry each other when we arrived on the East Coast, so maybe there is some truth in your observation! We are still happily married 18 years later. But as far as weddings go, I will encourage my kids to have a non-extravagant wedding. I'd love for them to have a party/celebration if they choose rather than elope but not the bridezilla freak shows that have become weddings of today. You can still have a nice reception w/o going into debt or throwing away money on frivolous things.

Some teens like to travel, don't. Some teens are very honest, some just like to please friends and relatives and get what they can/want. I have known both types since I have been extremely active with teens for many years. Just dealing with youth groups is a great way to know them. I and would do it all over again. Since most of us do not know others here except by visiting on line, we should be able to form our own opinions and not get shot down. I found that out the hard way, several times.

I've taken a lot of risks with my life and career. I also work in a field that is "risky" in that it isn't that "safe"--the pay is low, and a lot of jobs dry up and there is big turnover as folks burn out. I've seen a lot of folks come and go professionally, so I would advise you to think carefully about what the risks really are in a job offer. Some places will sell you a song and dance about how exciting and "cutting edge" your job will be, and in reality, they are hanging by a thread financially and when the time comes, first hired, first cut. Does the job you are being offered have a history of constant turn over? If so, why? Do you have the stomach for what it might take to stick with it? For example, I once got a job offer at a place that had just gone through an awful, awful financial crisis and staff turnover. But the new guy they had hired to be in charge inspired in me a strong feeling of real confidence. So I made the decision based on that, and I have no regrets. To me, that one really wasn't that risky, but others on the outside might have seen it as such. Turned out to be the toughest yet best job I ever had. Creative, risk-taking folks will often hire someone out of the blue, maybe someone low on experience but high on naive enthusiasm. They will let you go just as impetuously, so watch out for that. If it sounds to good to be true, it probably is. I wouldn't recommend moving across country for a risky job if I had a home and a lot of belongings. A friend and I both took "jobs of a lifetime" to move back home from out East at about the same time, and in both cases it didn't pan out. Luckily, we both rented out our houses instead of selling them so we were able to push the "reset" button much more easily than if we had put all our eggs in the risky basket. So think about that aspect and come up with a plan for how you could handle that risk. When analyzing risk, IMHO, the biggest risks are with the team of folks you will be working with. Are they committed to you? If not, can you deal with that? Folks in stable work environments often are much more committed to each other than the high turnover professions. Always have a plan B, but dedicate yourself to plan A. Twice now I have quit jobs without having one to go to, which is a risky situation. But I evaluated the "cost" of staying, and I realized that the opportunities, reputation and time lost staying with those unprofessional organizations was too high a price to pay for the steady pay check. No matter what, I realized that in the long run I would be better cutting my losses. Both times everyone around me said it was "too risky" to quit a job without having one to go to. But having followed the course of the jobs I quit, I know for sure it was the right decision. Don't turn down a "risky" job because it is unconventional, but do turn down a great job offer if you don't feel a strong sense that you want to be part of the team offering you the job. Check out references for other folks who have worked for and with the team offering you the risky job. Or if you don't care about the team and want to go "lone wolf" then make sure you are up for the journey! In today's day and age, professional growth is always a good thing! I would say anything that promotes professional growth is a good risk, but that's not the same as evaluating a job offer. Be realistic about what you and the organization you would be working for can accomplish. Just make sure to look beyond the hype before you leap. Better IMHO to think about where you are in terms of professional growth instead of risks in jobs. I always try to keep my eye on where I am professionally--am I being creative, learning new things, feeling positive about going to work every day? If not, then whatever I can do to change that situation, I am going to give it a try! In that case, whatever the outcome, I have practically nothing to lose and much to gain. If the risky job doesn't pan out, you can still pursue the growth you desire along another channel that will open up.