Nice plant! I have Sundown too & love mine. I hear terrible things about it, but it has done really well here. Has reseeded quite a bit & all but 2 seedlings-out of dozens-have been the same as the parent.

I really agree with the posters who suggested foster parenting.I am a school psychologist and I work with kids who desperately need a stable environment. They are not bad kids at all. They have just been in unbearably bad situations. For example, one child who just went into a foster home is 13 years old. We all love him and he was rejected by his adoptive mom for no other reason than that she is a messed-up person herself. We have worked with them for more than three years and SHE is the one who has the problems, not him. Now he is in foster care again and feels very very rejected. Some people are in foster care for the money only, and they do not really nurture the children--what if his current situation is one of those? I hope not, but it could be. Think of what you might be able to do for this young man that I am speaking about. If you have the love in your heart to give, why not give it to a child who has been hurt and rejected? I really mean this. Your love could do a lot of good for someone and it would also help you to "let go" of your children who are leaving the nest. It does NOT mean you love your kids any less. Just that you are expanding / sharing your "nest" with someone who still needs it. It could make a life-changing difference to a child. Anyway, JMHO. Hang in there.

That kitten needs another kitten! He is doing what comes naturally - trying to learn to fight. It's a deep instinct and the cat can't help doing it. Kittens do this by playing with each other, very hard and wildly. They leap on each other, chase, nip, and claw. Then they fall asleep and then they awaken and do it all over again. Is there any chance that your parents would adopt another kitten, preferably a bit younger? I've had cats all my life, almost always just one at a time, or at least adopted at intervals. Then four years ago we adopted two ten-week old kittens from the SPCA. It was a revelation in raising cats. They took out all their aggression on each other. With DH and me they are the essence of gentleness, cuddliness and purrs. They are also tightly bonded to each other, they sleep together, groom each other, follow each other around, etc. They have NEVER bitten, scratched, attacked or hissed at us, NEVER. That's because they learned to fight with each other, as nature intended. Except for a year or so of disorder in certain parts of the house, two cats are really not much more work than one. You need at least two litter boxes (we just have two), and two feeding bowls, a few toys, and a few large, soft pillows and throws. That's it. If you can add another kitten, and soon, there will be a bit of hissing and growling when they first meet. That will pass quickly, when each one discovers that it finally has a playmate! The sooner the better, while both are still kittens and willing to accept each other quickly. IMO taking the kitten to visit the other cat, or vice-versa, won't work, as it will be a territorial intrusion, and there is likely to be much hissing and very little acceptance. If possible, do give this some thought! And good luck with wild kitty!

I do understand this is a big transition for SD. I don't want to make her feel that she's not welcome, but I also don't want her using our home as her "crash pad" because she doesn't feel like driving back to BM's after seeing her boyfriend (he lives a lot closer to us). You probably can't have this both ways. If she is only allowed to "visit" and not stop by to shower, sleep, or raid the fridge, or other home-type, crash-pad activities, when she feels like it, she will probably not feel welcome. There probably is not a "fine line down the middle" that you can walk. I say this as someone who basically was your SD at her age. Well, I did have a part time job. But I was not heading to college, no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and went out partying a LOT. Up until graduation I lived half time with each parent. Once I was eighteen and out of high school, I basically decided I didn't need a curfew, so I stopped following one. My dad took basically the tactic you're proposing; told me I couldn't live there anymore unless I agreed to quit the partying and have an early curfew; first time I came home late, I would be locked out. My mom let me stay with her, paid a low-end of market value rent, I didn't have a curfew, didn't stop partying, but also didn't bring it into her home. In retrospect, which was objectively better for me? I honestly don't know. If my mom had given me the same rules as my dad, I wouldn't have stayed; I'd have found my own place. I might have "grown up" a little faster if I'd been living on my own, or I might have just been that one kid that has their own place so everyone else comes to party there, which would probably have wound up sending me into a lot more trouble than what I got into coming home to mom most nights. But I will say my relationship with my dad was strained for quite a long time. In my teenage mind, I was working, being a productive member of society, not out robbing banks or anything, and just because I wasn't going to college and liked to go to parties, neither of which seemed like horrible things to me at the time, I was --the way i saw it then-- being rejected by my parent. It did hurt me and I did resent it for years. Now, I'm not telling you that what you're suggesting is wrong I think that's a personal, family- and situation- specific choice. I'm just saying if you do it, be prepared for some emotional fall-out.