If you don't feel crabby, be happy about it. No need to rant, just to rant. But sometimes you feel crabby and want to vent.

1. When your favorite frame shop is going out of business. Yes, I'm very happy for the couple who owns it as they will be enjoying much-deserved retirement. It seems no one wants to buy the shop. I guess most people go to HL or Michaels for framing these days or do it themselves, and there isn't as much call for custom framing. I will miss this shop, the shop dog, and the personal service (& discounts) they gave me.

2. Allergy season!

3. On the plus side, we are having great weather this week, went to see Fleetwood Mac last week. I'm back to running more, and things are going great in general.

Oh, to be sure, I wasn't ranting just because. I had a good reason. The agism/sexism combo is a very, very good reason to rant.

I can honestly say, I've never purposely "checked out" a young man. I guess young men just aren't appealing to me. I like guys my own age, like Brad Pitt.

I would never want to be in this position:

Gramarows.....regarding two lanes merging into one after the intersection....this is to allow more cars to get through a light instead of having one long line of cars waiting to get through. I have one of these near me and just wish they would put up a sign that reads "alternate merge beyond intersection" which would solve a lot of the hostility and rudeness.

Re having to press a zillion buttons when calling a company...often if you just press 0 it will go straight to a customer service representative.

Re overweight women and yoga pants.....maybe that overweight woman is secure with who she is and, like a thin woman, just wants to wear comfortable clothing. Why shouldn't she? There are plenty of thin women who make questionable clothing choices as well.

Faron said:

"What irks ME is....WHY do Women, even if they're SIXTY or more, "big" or small...have to wear "Yoga pants"?!??!?! Gawd I hate that!!The college-age cuties look fantastic normally, unless they're linebacker size. But, retirement-age Gals??!?!?!?! Make it stop!!!! EEeeewww...."

Here Faron refers to women over 60 (in his next post he lowered the age to 50) and to both big and small women (he later refers to only bigger women) and I quote Faron:

"MY gripe is that heavier-set Women, and yes...the 50+ crowd...it's time to stop.It just screams..."Look at me! I'm 50-something trying desperately to look 22!"

Faron, I am over 60...by 7 years in fact and am 5'3", 115 lbs. I have been fortunate to have been able to work out most of my life and am an avid exerciser and fairly good athlete even at 67.

To answer your question as to why someone over 60 would wear yoga pants, which I do, is because they are comfortable and what else am I to wear to the gym? I don't wear yoga pants unless I am going to the gym but not because I don't think it would be appropriate. I have no problem running around after gym in my yoga pants and I sure hope I haven't offended too many people in so doing.

With regard to your opinion, Faron, you are certainly entitled but for me the addition of "EEeeewww..." wasn't necessary.

Edited to add: I don't find it offensive for any woman at any age or size to wear yoga pants. Actually, I don't find it offensive for any woman to wear what she feels good and comfortable in.

"Actually, I don't find it offensive for any woman to wear what she feels good and comfortable in".

I think we need to put "or man" in here, but I am going to disagree with this statement, because it's too all encompassing.

There must be some connection to this and my affinity for overhearing pole dancers, but if you've ever seen a woman walking around in essentially a bra and panties because it's hot out, a woman wearing a threadbare to the point of translucence cotton shift with absolutely nothing on underneath because it's hot out, or an elderly man wearing tennis shorts, no underwear and a wife beater because it's hot out, you would surely amend this statement.

I am sure they are comfortable.

Of course most of you people must live in the suburbs or something.

LOL Palimpsest. Well having lived in LA for over 50 years, I have seen just about everything :-). While I may not find the look pleasing to my eye, I personnally am not offended. So my statement stands. I do respect and understand your opinion.

I go to the gym with a GF and one of our trainers, who is 30, is very nice looking. I am definitely more than old enough to be his mother, anyway, my GF and I were driving near the gym on a very warm summer day and this very nice looking man was walking down the street in shorts, running shoes and his shirt tied around his waist. WELL! It was our trainer and I gotta say oh my, just oh my.....

Oh Pal - thanks for the laugh. I think we needed that. Magda (I keep wanting to call you your old name which is how I think of you!!), I wasn't ranting at you (not sure who Annie was referring to), just sharing my opinion. I understand your opinion also! blfenton! Exactly!

Tina, no worries, I didn't think you were. But even if you were, this is the right thread for it!

Blf, my trainer is a 32 yo Adonis. He's been training me for years and I've never looked at him that way. I think my taste in men skews more to older, hairier, and barrel chested. You know, a devilish Scotsman! I just described my DH, so that's good!

As a friend of mine used to say, 'I may be old, but I'm not dead yet'. Yes, I look, but a good body can be admired. And I admire anyone at any age who respects their body enough to work at staying in good physical condition. Not everyone can be slim, and I certainly don't mean it that way. I'm more like marlene, although probably a few months younger at 66 and several inches taller (5'9" and 140 lbs), but stay very active, run and work out.

I too wear yoga or running pants to Pilates class and if I happen to need to run into the store, I do. I do wear something with coverage on top, and most people don't even give me a second glance. I just fit in among the others of all shapes, sizes and ages.

Magda - yea, I never did until I saw him walking down the street shirtless. ;)

Outsideplaying - I'm coming home from the gym at 8 am and often run into the store on my way home if I just need 3-4 things. It's just opened, no one is there and gross, I know, I'm in my sweaty shorts and top. I always cover up so no one sees the sweat! But yoga wear as an outfit to wear out and about - no.

Yep - I live in the suburbs but there are a lot of people who are comfortably wearing yoga pants as they go about their day. Most of them either didn't look in the mirror before they left the house or aren't as caught up in how they present themselves to strangers on the street and in the stores as I appear to be when I'm out.

Magdalena, your real name would not happen to be Kim Cattrall, would it? Kim Cattrall shares her thoughts on Jamie Dornan and 50 Shades of Grey

Tish, you figured me out! LOL! Nope not Kim but I agree, Brendan Gleeson is very attractive. I might have picked someone in between for that movie. Like Gerard Butler - Rawr ...

Regarding comfortable clothing choices-- At work we have a joke about "The Ratio". This came about after attending many, many court hearings and family meetings where our client's parents wore extremely inappropriate attire. We decided there should be a rule, kind of like the Golden Mean ;-) that there must be an appropriate amount of fabric in ratio to the amount of flesh a person has, so that at least 50% of their body is covered with clothing.

When we have a plus size mother show up wearing short shorts and a men's "wifebeater" tank top, with her bra visible (true story), we just say, "She must not know about The Ratio".

I personally love yoga pants when I'm off work. Leggings, only if I'm wearing something quite long over them. However, I do always observe The Ratio! :-)

Love my yoga pants. :)

Pal and jlc, your descriptions painted quite the scene!

I can hear Judge Judy now: Where did you think you were GOING?? To the BEACH????

Outsideplaying, did you see Fleetwood Mac in Nashville?

I'll start a separate thread for "Faron's-Fashion-Police"!
Hopefully...there can be some common-ground created, some humour to be had, & some fun eyebrow-raising give-&-take!
My apologies for inadvertently blasting this thread off the tracks!!!!

Faron

The woman in the bra and panties was walking up an on ramp to the Schuylkill Expressway, just in case anyone was interested.

Naturalpalette, yes we did! Fabulous! Have you seen them on this tour?

B4 I believe you Pal, do you have any pictures? ;-)
Faron

Yes, outsideplaying!

I was in Nashville, too; it was unbelievable!!

I expected a good time, but I don't think I expected that amazing, completely entertaining show! Highly pleased, we were!!

Palimpsest, I used to live in San Francisco within walking distance of a nude beach. Your stories bring back some memories.

Love the concept of "the ratio"....I wish more people would follow it. I think it needs to be seasonal too...the ratio should increase in the winter. I shudder each time I see a young man (for some reason it's usually males) waiting at the bus stop in below freezing temps in sneakers and gym shorts with bare legs. Brrrr.

Have to add one more disgusting commercial-

If someone already mentioned it, I missed it. Those gross Mucinex commercials with a "talking blob of mucus."

Never bought the product. Never will now.

The insurance industry. Please god someone save me. I spent the whole day writing emails, phoning, trying to interpret emails written in insurance-ese, yelling at people I haven't even met, realizing I've not only been screwed, but wasted 3 months playing the game thinking everyone else was playing by the rules too. Isn't there a saying about just f_ me on the first date, rather than drag it out. Sorry. It's been a rough day.

Personally, I dislike yoga pants as part of a general trend in which (it seems mostly) women pretend they are wearing 'exercise' clothing in lieu of just admitting they like wearing stretchy super casual gear. I strongly suspect 99% of the SAH crowd in their yoga pants haven't been anywhere near a gym, running track or yoga studio that day :).

Seems to me this is the 21st century equivalent of those tennis dresses/matching panty combos that were so popular in the 90s.

LOVED my yoga pants when I was pregnant. Fit great, and I could combine them into a comfortable business outfit.

Daisy- oh no, what is happening with your insurance claim? Sorry you are dealing with more problems :-(

Daisy-
WOW! In all my 53 yrs, I've never heard THAT saying! LOL!
And I grew up as a nice Farm-boy too!

Faron

Four contractors bid on the restoration. One super lowballed it (in terms of time and cost), the rest were all between 4 and 5 hundred thousand. One guy really knew what he was doing - loves old houses and knows exactly what needs to be done. His bid was high and insurance was never going to go for it. Every meeting we had indicated it was between the other two bids. Every time the third lowball bid was mentioned, it was to joke about how ridiculous it was and not even on the table (not just us, the agent and independent person they hired to recommend bids said it first). We realized a couple of the bids were missing key items. They came back revised but lowball barely moved on his bid. Suddenly today after emails from us saying we really needed a decision (it's warming up here and we are worried about mould AND it has been 3 months!), we get an email saying that lowball has got the contract. WTF!!!! We call the independent guy and he swears he didn't recommend him and is as clueless as we are. At one point, a couple of weeks ago, they actually said they were going with one of the higher bids and told us to contact them. Thats when we discovered they'd left something out. I have no clue what happened between then and now.

I meet with lowball at the house tomorrow. My first call to him was so unlike me, it was actually pretty hilarious. I told him when and where we were going to meet. That he had better have his ducks in a row and that he was going to wish he had never met me. I've never heard anyone sound afraid of me before, but he definitely was. He is at least $150 000 low and according to the insurer he is on the line for every penny he goes over. Every time I complained today, the agent says he bid on it for that much, he has to fix it to the agreed upon specs and he has to make me happy with the work for that price.

I think I'm just going to hit him with it head on tomorrow. Take him on a tour with his bid and show him everywhere he made a mistake. Even simple things like lights. The insurer says they have to replace with the same ones. I ordered them all online from specialty places and the kitchen and dining room alone eat up what he budgeted for the whole house. I've researched how the HVAC system has to be installed (according to code if you have a boiler system) he didn't know it has be done differently than if you have forced air and of course it is tens of thousands more. According to the insurer, he is on the hook for that.

Of course, all this means that instead of letting someone I trust do the work, I have to spend every spare minute standing over them and double checking, researching, hiring people to double check their methods.

Sorry, now I'm just spewing and venting. Thank heavens for a curmudgeon thread to let loose on.

You go girl. Don't let this guy get away with anything.

Oh dear, daisy. That is not good. I'm so sorry you are going through this...bad enough you had to suffer the loss in the first place, but this is really adding insult to injury.

I am so sorry Daisy. Their decision to go with the lowest bidder is ridiculous, and is going to cause them (and you) a lot of headaches. Good for you for being proactive. Maybe he'll withdraw his bid after you walk him through? It really sucks that you're going to have to police everything he does.

My experience with homeowner's insurance claims has been very negative. Years ago our heating oil tank valve burst and poured hundreds of gallons of oil into the ground and under our foundation. Our house was uninhabitable from the fumes. The insurance co didn't want to pay to have the soil excavated. The agent actually said to me that oil isn't really harmful, it's everywhere on roads. I asked him if his house had asphalt inside? We had to threaten to sue. They eventually, grudgingly, paid for the entire cleanup and remediation. It took months of negotiation and cleanup. Then two months later, our well collapsed :-)

I feel for you. Wishing you the best of luck and sending you thoughts of support!

Make sure you flat out tell him that you know he low-balled and does he understand that he's on the hook for all overages. So sorry you have to deal with this.

May I ask who your insurer is?

Daisy, This is the first I have read about your situation, so I don't know the details but based alone on what you've written here, I would consider seeing an attorney (if you haven't already) before the work is started. Insurance companies twist words and promises all the time and they work under the protection of a legal team to make sure the deceit is legal. You should protect yourself. Even if they are saying that contractor is liable, they can't FORCE him to finish a job, or pay for things out of pocket. Then what?

What ML said. Make sure he (and the insurance company) understand, in writing, that this contractor is on the hook for every penny he underbid. You should not have to pay for anything he did not spec out or fail to bid in his proposal. Have his references been thoroughly vetted through BBB or any other resource? Has he scammed anyone (i.e., leaving work unfinished, are there property liens for unpaid subcontractors, etc, etc)? I'd thoroughly check him out myself before he touched a nail on my house.

Oh lukki, after reading about your ordeal on the other thread, I feel like a baby complaining about all this nonsense.

I just read your advice to my DH and we are adding that to our long list of questions for the insurer. By the end of the day yesterday I was adding "PLEASE ANSWER IN PLAIN ENGLISH. I DON'T SPEAK INSURANCE-ESE" to the end of all my emails. They are well-schooled in making sure they never give you a straight answer, but we keep sending them back the same questions over and over again until they answer.

I agree about the legal counsel. My DH comes from a family of high powered lawyers. My FIL, a retired judge, said we should get legal counsel last week, I scoffed and said it wouldn't be necessary. If you act reasonably with reasonable people, things will get done. So much for "pie in the sky"

I really appreciate all the support from you guys. I'm off to analyze this guys bid again before I meet with him. All those hours I spent for fun reading about how fix houses on garden web are actually paying off now.

ML, up until yesterday, I was relatively happy with our insurer. I would rather wait until this is resolved one way or another before I identify them.

I was hoping he would pull out or amend his bid again, but yesterday someone suggested he can't legally. I don't understand this since they were all allowed to amend their bids once already.

Back to the trenches. What a way to spend spring break.

Thinking of you today Daisy...You're a warrior, don't let them get you down.

daisy, listen to your FIL (and lukki :-)) and talk to an attorney. One thing insurance companies hate to do more than pay out money is deal with attorneys. I would tell the adjuster that everything is getting too complicated and you need an attorney to help you understand. (This is not a sign of weakness.). The "A" word is worse to them than any four letter word :-). Wishing you the very best.

I'm an engineer and program manager and have spent many years working to help negotiate and evaluate the technical side of contracts for the Government. Many times we have had the 'low bidder' come in just to get the work, only to have that low bidder come in 3x or more higher than the more realistic couple of offerers who were closer to what we really asked for but had a higher bid. In typical Government fashion, we were 'encouraged' to go with the low bidder but eventually paid for it in the long run in so many ways. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that something is wrong here in so many ways. As the homeowner, you should have input. Sorry you are having to spend your spring break worrying about this but hang in there. Paris awaits!

I would ask your insurer some very specific questions like, "What if the contractor cuts corners - not enough to fail an inspection, but the quality is lower than pre-damage?" Or, "What if the contractor has too many overages and can't afford them? Goes bankrupt?"

Make sure you get a copy of lien releases from all sub-contractors. No exceptions.

We gave our insurance company a specific list of questions and requests, in writing, and asked for their response, in writing, within a specific time frame, or we would begin legal action.

I am glad you have good connections for legal assistance. It probably wouldn't hurt to let the insurance company know that you are retaining counsel, or have your FIL/other attorney in the family send the company a brief letter.

Daisy......gee, what a surprise.....the insurance co went with the lowest bid. And certainly no surprise they will hassle you every step of the way to not only get out of paying for this or that, but to ensure they pay out the least amount possible.

So sorry you are going through this and agree with others that it's time to lawyer up. They have their lawyers looking out for their best interests (keeping as much profit as possible) and you should have yours to make sure you get a quality rebuild. Good luck and keep us posted.

If they insist on going through with the low ball guy, I wonder if there is some way you can insist on him posting a bond that ensures he completes the work satisfactorily? I suppose that would just leave you with another agency to fight with, tho. I'm so sorry this has been heaped on you, in addition to losing your home and having to live in a tiny condo for heaven knows how long. And JUST when you figured out where to put the piano :(

Awww, you guys really have my back. It is like knowing I have an invisible army waiting behind me ready to shoot if I falter.

Things actually went better than I expected. He does know his stuff. The contractor they originally said they were going with (higher bid) didn't have a clue and that was apparent 10 minutes into our meeting with him. This guy actually does know what he is talking about in terms of old houses and getting the work done.

Outsideplaying has it pegged. The other bidders made allowances for what they think will be found and how much it will cost, this guy is counting on the insurer ponying up for unforeseen costs. I will let the insurer know that we expect costs to be covered as they come up - don't care if it's them or him. He is their guy so they are backing him.

I just want to take my time and figure out if I can work with him. He seems straight up and honest (for a contractor in the insurance business anyways) and I could see where we will already butt heads on where things should be done and how, but he didn't try to bs me about it - which gives me hope.

Sorry for the major hijack - please return to regularly scheduled !@%$#

Daisy, we've been there - total loss fire.

On top of losing our house and belongings, coping with insurance was brutal.

Never forget that they are working hard to keep every penny they can for as long as they can, and you are just a pest getting in their way. I suspect that a total loss is much easier than what you are about to go through.

According to your insurance company:

"He is at least $150 000 low and according to the insurer he is on the line for every penny he goes over."

"The insurer says they have to replace with the same [light fixtures]. I ordered them all online from specialty places and the kitchen and dining room alone eat up what he budgeted for the whole house."

"...he didn't know it has be done differently than if you have forced air and of course it is tens of thousands more. According to the insurer, he is on the hook for that."

According to contractor chosen by insurer:

"...this guy is counting on the insurer ponying up for unforeseen costs."

The contractor and the insurer are NOT on the same page.

I would also advise you to consult an attorney.

I wish you the very best!

Oh naturalpalette, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I can't even imagine what a total loss is like. I hope you were all okay. We have had so many silver linings come out of this, but sometimes it just gets you down. Luckily the initial fire occurred over our winter break and then the worst of it now, I'm on spring break. However, I do count on these holidays to recharge to be able to go back to work and do my best and that is just not happening.

I know everyone is right that I need to keep fighting, but man, they do wear you down. I'm a lover, not a fighter :)

Oh Daisy I am so sorry you're dealing with all this. What a unfair mess! Keep us posted!

I have finally decided to reactivate my account. I thought I could stop spending time here but, darn it, I can't quit you people. There were many interesting comments but two stood out to me.

Pal, as always I enjoy your slices of life. I was just in Scottsdale at a business event that included a bbq in the desert. There was a pretty woman, 35-45, wearing clear, 4-5 inch heel, stripper-like shoes. I immediately thought of your comments and laughed to myself wondering are those lucite? Are they heavy? Do you ever take the bus in Philly? It seemed an odd choice for standing around the desert on a cool March night but to each their own. She could rock them, she was young and thin and pretty.

RIP, I am a SAH that only wears yoga pants while heading to, at, or returning from the gym. I go to the gym 5 mornings a week. But I think I get what you are saying: most people are wearing athletic wear strictly for comfort, not because they're working up a sweat.