Ah, Soulmates
11 years ago
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20 years of marriage and the future is bleak
Comments (32)Over 10 years ago I had to have a double mastectomy. When they originally went in there were not sure if it was cancer-turned out both breasts were completely full of pre-cancer. They removed all of the tissue (left my nipples-but scraped them). I had a friend who had also had to have this done and 2 year later she died from cancer of the ovaries. When I met my husband (we've been married less than 2 years) I was having problems with them leaking-common after about 10 years, and knew they would have to be replaced. WE married and he picked the surgeon (works with surgeons so said he knew the best). I had the surgery and I feel they look and feel better. This was a year ago this month. The only comments he has EVER made are painful. Such as; well you know you have a dent in this side, they are not the same side, they should have more projection, he should have done this... I think he could have done better....never one kind loving word. I have cried and cried and begged him for one kind word. Never. I have even explained to him that if he could look at me through the eyes of love maybe he would be able to say some thing nice. I know in the past relationships he had breasts are a biggie for him-bit I guess I didn't realize how big. I now cannot find it within my soul to have a physical relationship with him. Because when he does touch me (not very often) it just reminds me of what he has said and how he reacts to me when he walks in and I have my bra off. I feel ugly and hurt. Today he just left mad-because he says he doesn't understand why I don't want to have a physical relationship-after I explained to him how I feel and said I only think about MY feelings. Am I being unfair. Should I work at displacing my pain -what to do? I feel like I am old and ugly and just an object to take care of a need when he has one. (which is maybe once a month and it didn't start out that way)...what to do or think? Any thought's......See MoreMosaic house!!!!
Comments (19)Ha! I wrote her an email asking about what adhesive they used and if they sealed the grout etc. I got a reply tonight! Here's what she said. Susan- thank you for your e-mail-- in the beginning we used mastic, liquid nails, mortar rubber cement, glue gun ,wheat paste every thinnset that home depot sells and tar--the cheapest thinnset works best for us it's just as strong as the more expensive ones (it is cement based!) Instead of sealing we wait for grout to discolor and wherever discoloring happens we re=grout- thalo blue deep from Nova Color seems to hold up as a strong color other than earth tones and black we've tried many bright colors 10 years later the blue is the most enduring for outdoors --- On saturdays from 12 to 5 we open the house for $10 tours when you like bring your mosaic buddies, bring them all!!! Cheri and Gonzalo Venice,CA...See Moreadvice on low budget updates
Comments (28)It's looking like some shade of aqua/turquoise will be a winner. Dianalo, the tile on recyclingthepast.com is going to be my new obsession! Amazing stuff. I wonder if it's just coincidence that they have such a large selection of Belgian stuff right now. Belgium is a favorite travel destination of ours, and in fact, the artwork in the kitchen and dining room is mostly Belgian prints. I think we really need to work in some sort of accent with that tile! I'm also in love with those big sinks with attached drainboards -- always on the lookout for one, never get lucky. It would necessitate bigger changes to the cabinets than I was thinking, but it would be so worth it. I will definitely try the hot iron approach to removing the backsplash. mama_goose, it's true - the worst that can happen is that I'm that much more motivated! fori, you are right, the peninsula is innocent! It's a bad relationship between it, the fridge, and the neighboring cabinet. That countertop where the microwave currently lives mostly functions as a clutter-magnet, so I could certainly live without that counter space. It does provide good storage below, though. After doing some measuring, I'm not sure how much recessing the fridge and/or removing that cabinet would do. The pantry wall on the left of the fridge limits how far I could push it back and still get the freezer door open all the way. I'd get 2 inches, at best. Not sure that's worth the work of breaking down the wall there. Forgetting about that base cabinet for the moment, the diagonal measurement from peninsula corner to fridge corner is only 30" and the diagonal from the opposite corner of the peninsula to the laundry closet wall is only 33." Since the fridge can't move much, and the laundry closet is not changing, I think that area would still feel cramped even if we took out that base cabinet entirely. paintergirl94, I am blown away by your drawings! I hope my kitchen looks so good in the end! I am really liking the microwave shelf idea -- had never even heard of that before I started reading this forum. Your plywood counter is so cool, I never would have thought of something like that. DH actually came across a local cabinetmaker the other day, so that and you all are spurring me on to consult with some independent guys here and see what they can offer. I'm getting optimistic that we can get some combination of new and old to blend well here....See MoreThank You Everyone!
Comments (39)kayjones was right - the "club" is growing here on GW. There are so many here that have been or are recently in your shoes. I'm so sorry that you have become a member of that club. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers. I'm sure you know how much you are loved and supported here, but you can add my name to the list of people to rely on to help you get through this. gneegirl...See More- 11 years ago
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