I am a complete creature of habit. I like to buy the same products, go to the same stores, stick to the same routines every day. I think it is kind of comforting. Making decisions is kind of stressful for me, and routines cut down on decisions.

I can't tell you how many times I have bought a new item of clothing, brought it home, and realized I already had something very similar. I buy the same colors and cuts over and over again.

I wish I were more adventurous. It's just not part of my basic personality. I have to push myself outside of my comfort zone to try new things, and I'm usually glad when I do.

I have enough adventure at work, I guess I don't want any more in my personal time :-)

It's a bit of both for me, too, Funkyart. Whether I'll try something new or outside of my routine depends upon time and cost, and anticipated return. I'm brand loyal on many food and toiletries because it makes my shopping time more efficient. Plus, I'm not so sure a new brand of dish soap is going to rock my world. (But maybe it would. I don't know.)

I'm in a rut with clothes, for sure. The time to invest in shopping and fitting rooms to try new styles seems daunting right now.

I will share this advice, though. A friend quit her career job a few years ago and went to cosmetology school. About a year into it, whenever we'd cross paths, she'd stare at my hair or gaze quizzically at my eyebrows... Finally, I said, "What?" She said, "Why don't you come over next week for a little makeover..." Sure, I thought. Why not? A week later, I walked out of her house with a fresh hair color and a bag of new make-up that she really showed me how to apply well. Way better than what I was doing previously. For weeks, people complimented me on my hair, my eyes, my skin. Yep, I was in a rut before, for sure, but didn't know it until I was out of it. Even my son's coach, who usually operates at 100 mph, stopped in his tracks, looked at me, and said, "Nice hair!"

So, if you don't have a friend in the cosmetology field, go find a makeup artist, or even a local cosmetology school where they often have deals and need guinea pigs like us! This type of change was worth it for me.

I think it is really something to watch out for, Funky!

I had a fave color of Mac lipstick. When they discontinued it, I found a place that makes lipsticks for you in discontinued colors. I did that twice. I lost a favorite pair of Vuarnet sunglasses, and searched the world to replace them (the were aviator and aviator were then out, since back); it was my favorite pasttime when we travelled.

Then I realized ... if you can't find it ... it's out ... and so are you!

With kids still in middle school and high school, they keep me from too much of a rut. But It's something to be on the lookout for.

I think there is something inherently life-affirming about change and risk. We all need them, and if life does not foist them on us we should seek it out.

I have my favorites in certain brands of make-up, clothing, food, etc. Many times that has come from searching for just the right item and trying many different choices before finding "the one". I don't consider that rigid, I consider that knowing what I like.

However, in food, travel, etc. although I have my favorites, I am very open to trying new things.

tina

Call it what you will, but I admit to having certain favorite brands of clothing, mainly because, being tall and slim, I am so hard to fit. I hate to shop longer than an hourly two, so I appreciate knowing I can order a pair of slacks or skirt in a certain size and they will fit. And it is so much more time-efficient to shop and grab your favorite brand of cleaning or paper products. Makeup can be frustrating sometimes because brands discontinue colors so often. I have made it a point to take advantage of free 'tune-ups' at least once a year when Bobbi Brown brings in artists from NY or Atlanta and try new things.

But I will try new things now and then. It is probably why I have to clean out all that unwanted shampoo, etc, that didn't work out. And we like to try new restaurants, go to new places on short trips, and I like varying my running routes.

I am usually open to trying new products (not so much looks though)- but when I find something that I really like, I do stick with it since I am not usually so smitten.

I have been using Covergirl outlast lipcolor in canyon for probably close to 10 years ( not sure when I started but I remember on some forum people were raving about it so I tried it and have loved it ever since. I do try other colors at times, but this one is just perfect. I should stock up on it just in case).... I do think I am in a rut thought because I don't so much care for how I look lately, and I think I do need to change up some stuff- I guess I pretty much have been doing the same make up and such for so long it's just comfortable but I am not sure I am doing myself a favor......:(

I think I might be in a rut, but I really don't feel that having go-to brands (especially for baking and cooking) constitutes a rut. That's just efficiency. :)

I sometimes imagine a world where I Have X number of perfectly fitting white long sleeved oxford shirts, X number of perfectly fitting khaki pants, grey wool pants, jeans, one type of sneakers, one type of dress shoes, and it's all very uniform, like a uniform.

For several years straight , my non-work, not out-to-dinner outfit was a white Hanes t-shirt, 501 jeans and black oxford shoes, or black Adidas Samba sneakers. Period. If I needed to wear a collared casual shirt, it was a polo shirt, if I needed a long sleeved shirt it was a blue oxford button down, only. There was a woman in my building that I never saw in anything but a white oxford shirt, khaki pants of various cut, and loafers. For years. (I suppose she occasionally dressed for dinner or something but I never saw it).

I would sometimes like to look essentially identical every single day with variations made only to accommodate weather or formality of the occasion. I don't even want my hair to grow. I might start cutting it every Saturday.

I want to finish my house and have it look the same for the rest of my life. I embrace unchange.

But I am pretty adventurous with food.

I am fairly dowdy and dress strictly for comfort. If they ever discontinue my 'as comfortable as yoga pants' work dress pants I will cry real tears. I would love to just find one retailer like lands end, fit myself in their store and buy their clothes forever after. Bonus points if I can find clothes made in fair working conditions.

I think the point of practicality and efficiency is valid.. and a very different thing than "being in a rut". When I am working, my time is limited so knowing that I can go to x and get a gift.. or to Y and get a dress. I know I will love my coffee beans from Z etc. Practicality also limits my weekend getaways. I realize that "being in a rut" is as much a state of mind as anything else.

It's funny, I always get a blast of color (ahem-- bleach) in the spring to brighten up my winter hair... I am due.. and while my hair doesn't really allow for different styles, I always feel especially sassy with a fresh cut. I am also very overdue for new glasses. I think I'll make some appts today!

I have to admit, Pal, the idea of a fairly "uniform" wardrobe is attractive. My non-work wardrobe is already fairly basic/classic. I would save a great deal of closet space if I'd keep it to just that.. of course, I'd still need a whole wardrobe for the scarves, jewelry, bags and shoes!

Thanks to all who weighed in!

Robo- would love to know what work appropriate pants you have in mind that are as comfy as yoga pants. I used to joke that if I could wear a bathrobe or sweatpants and look appropriate I would be in heaven. Yes to comfort.

I admit to being somewhat in a rut with some things. I have worn the same lipstick shade most days for the last ten years or so. It just works for me. I have tons of other lip colors but usually end up throwing them out barely used after several years.

I have my favorite foundation but recently changed that because the shade I wear must have had a formula change. It looked orange, yuck. I do like buying different shades of eyeshadow but I am rethinking that as I am starting to see some crepy skin on my lids so my make up application needs to change.

I do embrace my knowing what I like and not feeling a need for change when it comes to my favorite clothing brands, shoes, etc. also we go to the same beach each year for vacation and I am comfortable with that.

Where I can't stand a rut is in my work. When I started my business it was so much fun taking an idea and turning that idea into a business. Every day was a challenge with new systems to figure and all the challenges of a start up. Now I am totally bored to death. I am going to retire this business and do something different.

Sheilaaus... Reitmans' comfort pants are my secret weapon. It's a Canadian thing but they do ship to the US.

The Pants

Wow, Robo, the prices are amazing. I'm not sure of the current conversion of Canadian to US dollars but they seem a bargain.

I was gonna say... They're kind of cheap. Would never win fashion awards. It really is a yoga pant masquerading as a work pant. But... Plain and comfy! And no fly to mess up the lines of your blouse. Canadian dollar is only 78 cents on usd right now....i remember the glorious days of vacationing when we were at par.

"If it ain't broke don't fix it" comes to mind here. I have lived long enough to have found many things that work well for me. For instance, I love Simon Chang jeans which are jeans style but a classier fabric than denim and wear them all the time. They can be dressed up or down, fit well, are very comfortable, and wear very well. So I have now collected probably over 12 pair in various colors (2 black as I wear them often). I don't consider this is being in a rut tho as I have other styles of pants and am always open to finding other brands and styles. I also have a favorite line of somewhat BoHo clothing and watch for new styles in that. I've found it to be very comfortable, more eclectic and dressy in style than my usual T and jeans, and easy-care.

I am quite adventurous when eating out in restaurants and try new things often. However I also revert to the tried and true occasionally if I am unsure of the menu.

I wear the same brands of cosmetics all the time as my skin reacts to many others and I've wasted enough money trying things that don't work. I do have every shade of Burt's Bees lip shimmer depending on what colors I am wearing.

My decor is somewhat eclectic as I like many styles and like trying new things.

I don't feel as if I am in a rut but if I did I would soon try something different and climb out of it!

holly-kay reminded me of this. I can't remember who told me this or where I read it (could have been my colourist for my hair) as we age our skin tone changes and does become on the yellow side. If you haven't changed your lipstick or foundation you might want to stop by the make-up counter of your favourite brand and get the colour assessed. You don't want to become clownish looking.

My hair colourist is always tweaking my colour for my age, skin tone and season. I use a Clinique foundation and same thing, when I need a new one I always get my skin tone assessed.

BL, when I went to the Elizabeth Arden counter to look at a foundation they had a gizmo that electronically measured your skin tone and gave the correct color based on three readings from different areas on the face. I purchased the suggested color and I have to say it is perfect for my skin tone.

We all are resistant to change...it's a human thing. But if you think about things like learning curves, it makes sense as non-change/routine can be very efficient. So the trick is to determine if the costs of implementing the change will be more than offset by the benefits resulting from that change.

Haven't we all been pushed through software changes where the cost of learning the new system are high and the benefits few?

But where would we be if we refused to adopt new technologies, like, say, the internet?

So I think, for me anyway, I don't want to be on the leading, trendy edge. I'd much rather wait for the pioneers to blaze the trail, see how durable the change is going to be, and wait for others to discover the unintended consequences of that change. If I skip a trend or a generation of technology, I'm fine with that. I'll get there eventually, once I know it's durable.

OTOH, learning, changing, growing, trying new things are all very important for keeping life interesting, exciting, vibrant and for keeping one's brain sharp. So I think like anything in life, it's all about striking a balance. Don't stop trying new things, but pick your efforts wisely.

A rut is when you refuse to try new things or even acknowledge that things have changed around you. Take toilet paper. I have tried numerous brands and found a brand the family can agree on at a reasonable price. Am I in a rut for only buying that brand? No, as I would try a new brand but it would have to be better for me to change permanently.

About food, my mother will say, "I don't like xxx". I will ask "Have you ever had xxx?" She will say "No, but I know I won't like it" That is a rut.

As blfenton, my friends and I try to be very aware of not getting stuck in a rut as we age. We promised each other will be call each other out if we start to do that!

Just asked my stylist for a hair makeover. Gave her free reign. She asked questions and then did it. Change is scary but also liberating! My hair hasn't been this short since I was a kid but it styles so much easier. My thought was, if I don't like it, it will grow.

As has been already said, change is good for the brain. My son read about a study that people who are always in a routine die sooner than those who change their routines. Something as simple as occasionally driving a different route to work or the store.

In a few weeks I have a makeup consultant coming over to give me and my friends makeovers. I just recently started wearing my eyeliner differently and can't believe the difference.

Luckygal and Robo, thanks for the jeans/pants tips. Having 12 pairs of *anything* that fit me well wouldn't be coined a rut. It would be good fortune!

I am very fond of my ruts. A lot of living went into creating them :-)

I thought of this thread this a.m. I was watching a rerun of Pema Chodron on Oprah and they were talking about how life is all about change and learning to deal with change. Oprah made the comment that if you want a life without change, you are living on the wrong planet...

I think having some ruts, (like a "uniform" of dress), frees your mind to think about other things.

That is true, AnnieD, but you don't have to go looking for it, lol. Unless you want to.

I don't think either approach to life is right or wrong. There is nothing inherently virtuous about seeking out change, imo. I think it is interesting that most children deplore change. Instinctively they want and need the freedom to develop within a protective framework provided by the parents / family life. The most wonderful aspect of being a grownup is that you can develop outside any set of protective expectations. And the most terrifying aspect of adulthood is that you no longer have that protection.

I watched an Indian movie this weekend called The Lunchbox, in which a young man who was an orphan with no formal schooling (not the main character) had to claw and grasp for every tiny bit of knowledge. He had brought himself up and had a positive attitude, yet I wanted to weep over the fact that he had seemingly never known a time in his life when he felt protected from life. That is a great tragedy.

Sorry for the derail, funky!

You can love, say, a Bach fugue, but if it were all you ever heard, you'd be sick of it. You can love, say hot fudge sundaes, but if that's all you ever had to eat, you'd be sick of it. You can enjoy a hot shower, but if you were trapped under one for days, you'd be very unhappy. So even within the context of things we love, we need change in order to better appreciate them. It's all a balance.

I don't know that you can say that if you never heard anything but a fugue you'd get tired of it. That presupposes you know there are other things to hear, which was not your premise. Likewise the hot fudge sundae. I have known people who, literally, eat the same meals every day and have for years, without tiring of it. Each person's appetite for novelty is unique. Some simply do not have it.

Adding, Oprah is all about change. She has changed her hair more often than I can count and I've never even watched her show. She may be a good authority on change for someone who needs / likes it, but it is still just her opinion.

Not an Oprah hater, btw. Doing her 21 day meditation challenge that began today...

There was a well known practitioner in my father's profession who determined what he thought the "perfect meal" was to meet his nutritional needs and his enjoyment, and then he ate it three times a day for the rest of his life, at least if he wasn't forced by circumstances like a dinner to eat something else.

I had a classmate at Penn whose husband was in the same specialty and felt that a particular pair of blue corduroy pants were the perfect pants and refused to wear anything else. She had to hide them occasionally so they could be washed.

Both of these men were intelligent researchers who had to think of things that other people hadn't or think things in ways that other people hadn't --so their minds couldn't be in a rut.

However, I think their extremely repetitive actions in some arenas allowed them to pay attention to shifting ideas in others.

I am a creative person, and what I want most to do is get this particular house done, and let it turn into a time capsule. I don't mean that every decorative object will remain rooted to it's spot until the table is a different color underneath or things start to stick, but I know what I like and I am a perfectionist when it comes to certain details and I want those details absolutely right (whatever that means) and I never want to do them again. I don't want to waste creativity reinventing the wheel. If I like something I don't get bored of it. I couldn't imagine changing wall color over and over or redecorating over and over --that might be an outlet for some people but I'd rather move on and use my creativity on something else. So I don't understand re-doing just to redo, or doing something cheaply or not particularly well because you know you are going to redo it anyway. But maybe this is another topic rather than rut vs. change.

That process reminds me of a story about Judy Garland, who was upset because Liza was not coming to her wedding, and Liza said something to the effect of "Mother, please, I can't come. But I promise I will come to your Next wedding."

So I think ruts can be very effective because, like I said they can free your mind to think of other things.

I know what I like and I am a perfectionist when it comes to certain details and I want those details absolutely right (whatever that means) and I never want to do them again.

Yes! :)

Interesting take on change and ruts. As much as I see I may be in a rut, I don't consider myself adverse to change in the least. I thrive with change.. I made my living selling and implementing change. But I don't necessarily see the majority of things we're discussing here as "game changing" changes.. "life changing" changes. I suppose a makeover could be life changing.. but for most of us, I doubt that's the case.

Pal, I think you've made an excellent point. Having routine and some things simplified in one aspect of our lives can give us the freedom to seek change in others. I worked and lived with some brilliant researchers and they all had odd quirks in their routines. I too know people who literally eat the same things every day (not quite the extreme of the same thing every meal lol). I think of this as variety though-- not change.

I guess that is my big aha of the day.. variety does not equal change. Personally, I like variety but I need change. I am on the cusp of a change-- I am looking for a new job, i am preparing for the eventual move of my bf cross country. My life is going to change a great deal.. and I am impatient. I am sitting here ready for the changes to come.. but I am impatient. The one great mystery is that while we can welcome and even direct change, we cannot control it. Sure, I can change my hair, my nail color.. .I can try new recipes or cooking techniques. I can change my toilet paper and my workout routine.. but that's not going to make the job offers come rolling in. They might give me the illusion of change as I sit here waiting for it though. Or not :)

I have been through this before. The antsy feeling of anticipation and impatience. I remember when I first saw the movie Chocolat-- silly as it is, I remember having a great sense of understanding when a wind came up and Vianne Rocher (Juliette Binoche's character) knew it was time to move on.. I liken it to the way my dogs used to respond to the big gusts in the fall that proceeded snow. They'd lift their noses and then perform antsy dances. Who knows what they were responding to.. could have been carried in with the winds scents.. or low pressure.. but it was a marked response to something in the air. I feel change is in the air and I am forced to sit here and wait for it.

So yeah, I'll get my hair done.. select the new paint color for the lr... organize the pantry.. all so that I am ready when the new opportunity arrives. Kind of like the nesting behavior we see in expectant mothers.

(and please -- no apologies for branching a thread. That's what conversations do! It's all good!)

I have a son who's labeled a "high achieving" and "exceptional" learner and who's taken advanced classes since elementary school. He's showing tendencies toward the same-outfit-every-day pattern. He very much prefers routine in nonacademic areas of his life because he has to expend so much mental energy at school. It's what he wants, but I suspect I'll be shopping for his wardrobe the rest of his life like I do now. He literally does not care what he wears and doesn't want to think about it. I don't believe he'll be an easy spouse to live with one day.

While I can tolerate the same smoothie for breakfast for a long time, if that was all I ever had to eat, I'd find it intolerable. One of the few pleasures of leaving Hawaii was the knowledge that it would be a very long time before I heard "Tiny Bubbles" again. Even sitting or lying down can be such a pleasure, but if we sit or lie too long, we get weak and stiff.

I suppose catatonia/stupor is resisting change to the extreme. But even catatonics will age and die. Like King Canute, there are changes we must accept that we are powerless to stop.

It is through movement and change that we live. And while bad things happen and life can present challenges, it is through those challenges that we grow and change. We can only be at our best when we're struggling, and we don't struggle when we are in a comfortable rut...perhaps that's why we like ruts so much...they're easy, even if and when they do us long-term harm. (Was watching "my 600 lb life" last night...)

So while ruts serve their purpose, they can become prisons and shrink our world and life experiences. It's all about balance. I agree with Pal. Having some aspects of our lives a "done deal" definitely frees us to grow and change in others. It's one way of achieving that balance. I'm delighted that I'm in a happy marriage and don't look forward to having that change any time soon, though I know, eventually, it will.

Interesting point about the difference between change and variation. Is variation enough of a change to keep you stimulated? I suppose it depends on the degree of variation.