I agree, but you want to be careful what you say so that it doesn't sound like "I would have said something sooner but you didn't tell me about it". Keep it short

Keep it short an sweet. Trust me, most people don't want to talk about someones dead child because they're afraid of bringing up bad memories. I know I make people uncomfortable when I talk about my son. But if someone were to come up to me and offer me condolences even though it's been 18 months, I would appreciate the sentiment.

It happened. It's not 'old news' to the child's family, and the child isn't forgotten. I think it's hard when people skirt around any mention of someone you loved as though they never existed outside of the event of death. Extend your sympathy warmly, in a card or in person, and explain that you have just learned of the loss. Be open to hearing back...or not.

As ellendi said, there is no expiration date. It's never too late, and they will surely appreciate your kindness.

I would express it the way I would have when it happened. My grandson was hit by a car and died. I sent the mom a thinking of you card on his birthday. She was so happy that I did that, no one in the family had mentioned it.

I would write a note in a beautiful card telling them simply that you just heard about his daughter and how very sorry you are for their terrible loss. Don't say that you can't imagine how terrible it must be.

Just a simple expression of your sympathy and that you'll be thinking of him. It is never too late to contact him.

Debby, please know that my thoughts are with you. You bring up first hand experience that we should all take note.

Sometimes we have to step out of our own comfort zone to show empath in the way they need it.

I know people grieve and handle things differently. Would there ever be a case where someone doesn't want their loved one brought up or mentioned at a later date in time?

Definitely send a letter or card of sympathy. Don't mention that you just heard about the death. There's no "expiration" on grief. At Christmas , I got a card from a cousin in Florida telling me her mother (my aunt) had passed last April. I sent both a sympathy card and a long hand-written letter expressing my feelings.

Some people fine it difficult to mention a person that has died and to the parent, husband or whatever it's like you are saying they never existed when you never mention them. Just do the same thing you would if you just heard about it.

I would not send a card or letter. To me that's so canned. I'd make a personal contact either by phone or in person and I would just say something to the effect of I just heard about your daughter and wanted to express my condolences... (Put in your own words of course.) If I knew the daughter I might say something about her, (she was always so cheerful when I'd see her, etc) but only if it's something true and from the heart. Never force things like that. Then just see what the reception is. If he wants to talk about it, fine, if not, wrap it up, wish them well and move along.

Cynic.....are you serious? A card or letter is "canned"? Yikes, I hope that Josephene doesn't consider that even for a second.

I don't think a card or letter is "canned". A written sympathy message is always appropriate. Josephine may not feel comfortable phoning. They apparently were out of touch anyway.

I would recommend a handwritten note. These meant the most to me after my husband died a year ago. I found that the personal notes that came a long time after his death were a great source of comfort.

People get on with their lives and never mention about the dead person to you. I found this to be hard because the grieving person does not forget the dead person. The cards and notes that were sent late were a great source of comfort. They were a reminder that someone was still thinking of the dead person and the spouse.

Thank you all for the help. Sending a card with a handwritten note.

I really feel for the parents of the young people.