Helping a elderly friend with their computer remotely
11 years ago
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- 11 years ago
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9 Great Rules for Caring for Your Elderly Parent at Home
Comments (7)FallDownGoBump... I hear ya... Loud and clear... Sounds as if we're both in the same boat... Hubby has 3 sisters and 2 brothers left and not one of them even bothered to send a card or call on his birthday, let alone any other time. Even if I did ask for help not one of them would... But the real kicker is that hubby has helped EVERYONE in his family and everyone has screwed him in some way... Six of his nine siblings and his father has lived with us at one time or another... When we first married we took in his father and youngest sister with the stipulation that 4 of the other brothers and sisters chip in a lousy $7. a week... The first week we got $21. the next week we got $14. then not another cent or even a crust of bread... I could go on for hours about them but I won't... It only upsets me more... My story: Three years ago hubby broke his hip and two days after the surgery they sent him home with me with no additional help... Three days after that something happened and he didn't know who he was, where he was or who I was... After a two week stay in the hospital, so they could perform every test known to man, they told me he had 2 strokes and a little stiff from the partial hip replacement but otherwise he was in good health and they sent him to a rehab facility ( nursing home )... BTW, while he was there, recovering, his youngest sister got it in her head that since the nursing home offered hospice services that was all they did and turned around and told hubby that's why he was there! Sorry for getting off on another rant... Anyway, after two months the rehab facility sent him home... For about a month and a half the visiting nurse and a physical therapist came over twice a week... By then I had to find a doctor because hubby's meds were running out. After reviewing all his medical records the doctor says hubby had SEVERAL strokes and a heart attack!!!! Ok, sorry, that's yet another rant... Right now I have a 67 year old hubby who moves as if he's 100 and, at times, has the brain of a 2 year old... Hugs, Rita...See MoreMay need some help for a friend
Comments (15)Ran Malwarebytes complete scan; nothing found but some adware in registry which we deleted. She had already run a complete scan with her McAfee Security Suite and found only some tracking cookies. Online virus scan turned up nothing. I went online and opened Vista Mail which began to download e-mails from several days ago. Opened an e-mail with no difficulty. Went to a couple of web sites with no problem. Vista SP1 has never been installed, and I noticed the date of April 28 on it. I think that is what was triggering the request for user name and password, since it wants to install. I told her to install it ASAP as soon as all her e-mails are downloaded. She is on a very, very slow dialup connection, and this is probably the source of all her difficulties. That's all it was previously when her McAfee was trying for days to download updates. I told her to bite the bullet and get a Verizon cellular broadband modem. She is less than two miles from the tower where I get my connection and has a perfect line of site for that. It will cost her something, but will cure so many of her headaches. She can afford it, too....See MoreComputer for Elderly Mom
Comments (18)That's the whole point, not too many 86 y.o. are going to be able to handle the tech demands of a computer. Browsing the internet is no great thing anyway, unless you have a specific goal. I worked in a CCRC (continuing care retirement community) for 3 years, so I speak from not only personal, but professional experience. My father, an engineer (from Northeastern, not MIT), wanted to learn how to use a computer very much, and we tried setting him up several times, but even in his early 80's it was just too much for him. He had all his faculties up until his death at 91, it was just something that didn't make sense to him in some basic way, and he never could use one. For most elderly moms/dads or grandmothers/grandfathers who have never used a computer before, this would be ideal. All they really want to do is read letters and see family pictures. Since few of us send snail mail any more, this would allow them to stay in touch with children and grandchildren who are computer literate (that's us!) My kids would have loved to stay in touch with their grandfather with something like this, and I think he would have liked it too, having something in his hand to read and read again. He would have been able to carry them around the CCRC and show them to his friends, especially the pictures. I have coworkers, much younger than me, who, despite many attempts, still can't figure out how to reply to email, much less send one, and they use a computer every day. Think about how daunting it can be to learn some new technology, and imagine if you are 86 years old and trying to do it....See MoreHelping elderly parent with sale, frustrating
Comments (19)My sibs and I delt with this last summer/fall. My Mom swore she wouldn't be like her mother and leave a full house for the kids to deal with -- but she kept finding reasons not to downsize from a 5 bedroom house to senior living until a health crisis! Her home was in relatively good condition and in a desirable area. But it needed some work to take it from "40 year old nice" to really ready to sell. We all have our quirks and Mom was no different. For example, she had a hard time understanding why we insisted that the dark, unvarnished doors and woodwork in the upstairs hall be painted. But what a difference that made. From dark hole to bright and clean looking (I know some of the painted over handprints were mine from 30 years ago!). Mom was proud of her home and how nicely she had decorated it. And it was nice ...but a "grandma house" and like all of our homes full of more stuff than is ideal for selling. We talked about some things and started on some small things while she was there but waited for the painting and major staging until she had moved out of state. That was much better for all of us. My sister in law could go into business as a home stager. She did a stupendous job moving things around and adding a few items borrowed from her home or bought cheaply at target to really make the house look more updated and spacious. Some of the things we did: Kitchen-Thoroughly degreased kitchen cabinets, replaced pulls with inexpensive ones off ebay, took valences down and decluttered. Family Room-Updated colors by Padding and arranged a nice throw cover on her 50's sofa, removed shabby recliner, took everything from built in bookshelves and put a select few books back with a few display items. Took down window coverings to enhance light and update. Wrapped fabric around window seat cushion to blend with updated colors.Removed endtable. Room looked more spacious and inviting. LR-Rearranged and packed away boxes and boxes of very lovely knicknacks, and art work. Took up rugs that were on carpet. Had sheers and drapes open for more light. Bedrooms- took up rugs to show hardwoods,painted dark slider closet doors, took out many small items of furniture including bookshelves, sewing machine, computer desk, etc. Moved some stuff into other rooms for better balance. A br papered with a small ruby pink print wass transformed by putting a dark tan spread on the bed and removing some dainty accessories and adding a small wood dresser from another room. It was amazing how the changes neutralized the pink and pulled out the neutral tan from the paper. In the mbr her worn out bedding was replaced by a nice comforter and plenty of pillows (on sale a target)all arranged like in a magazine. The family photo galleries were taken down and walls repainted as needed, many curtains taken down and replaced by inexpensive sheers. The carpets were professionally cleaned and , boy, did that ever spiff things up. All in all, it was a lot of work upfront but the result was that my Mom got a good price quickly as compared to some homes that have stayed unsold. The area in NJ had a slowing market but we felt that being in a desirable neighborhood, by a good school, and now in move in condition, that the house would sell w/o difficulty. We priced it fairly but not too low. The first looker made a low offer we rejected much to the realtors dismay. Within 10 days the a much better offer was made by a much more qualified buyer. They love their new home. Wish I'd known about the Mr Clean trick for her counters. Good luck with your Mom. If you can, get her moved, then get the condo spiffed up. In the long run it's easier on everyone and the only way to do some things w/o offending her. Keep stressing how you fix up a home to sell is not the same as how you live in it--that it needs to be a little bare....See More- 11 years ago
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