Helping a elderly friend with their computer remotely
jane__ny
9 years ago
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jane__ny
9 years agoRelated Discussions
May need some help for a friend
Comments (15)Ran Malwarebytes complete scan; nothing found but some adware in registry which we deleted. She had already run a complete scan with her McAfee Security Suite and found only some tracking cookies. Online virus scan turned up nothing. I went online and opened Vista Mail which began to download e-mails from several days ago. Opened an e-mail with no difficulty. Went to a couple of web sites with no problem. Vista SP1 has never been installed, and I noticed the date of April 28 on it. I think that is what was triggering the request for user name and password, since it wants to install. I told her to install it ASAP as soon as all her e-mails are downloaded. She is on a very, very slow dialup connection, and this is probably the source of all her difficulties. That's all it was previously when her McAfee was trying for days to download updates. I told her to bite the bullet and get a Verizon cellular broadband modem. She is less than two miles from the tower where I get my connection and has a perfect line of site for that. It will cost her something, but will cure so many of her headaches. She can afford it, too....See MoreComputer for Elderly Mom
Comments (18)That's the whole point, not too many 86 y.o. are going to be able to handle the tech demands of a computer. Browsing the internet is no great thing anyway, unless you have a specific goal. I worked in a CCRC (continuing care retirement community) for 3 years, so I speak from not only personal, but professional experience. My father, an engineer (from Northeastern, not MIT), wanted to learn how to use a computer very much, and we tried setting him up several times, but even in his early 80's it was just too much for him. He had all his faculties up until his death at 91, it was just something that didn't make sense to him in some basic way, and he never could use one. For most elderly moms/dads or grandmothers/grandfathers who have never used a computer before, this would be ideal. All they really want to do is read letters and see family pictures. Since few of us send snail mail any more, this would allow them to stay in touch with children and grandchildren who are computer literate (that's us!) My kids would have loved to stay in touch with their grandfather with something like this, and I think he would have liked it too, having something in his hand to read and read again. He would have been able to carry them around the CCRC and show them to his friends, especially the pictures. I have coworkers, much younger than me, who, despite many attempts, still can't figure out how to reply to email, much less send one, and they use a computer every day. Think about how daunting it can be to learn some new technology, and imagine if you are 86 years old and trying to do it....See MoreComputer and 'girl friend' trouble
Comments (28)I'm with salgal and iowagirl2009. In my opinion, this computer should be wiped clean, "low-level" formatted and reloaded. You lost everything on it already so there can't be much on there of importance yet that can't be backed up after a thorough virus/malware check. This doesn't sit right with me. And OK, the computer and relationship issues are separate issues so deal with them separately. But I would have someone competent do a complete drive wipe and start over. My first thought was they could have slipped in a "back door". For peace of mind, that thing would be sanitized. The son's dealing with this so far. If they're friends, they're friends. Have a sit-down and encourage him to be cautious, tell him you're there for him but you're not going to try to run his life. It sounds like that's where he's at anyway. Illegal to have a computer by the window? That's a new one on me! :) Password recovery because someone who worked on your computer wouldn't give you your passwords? LOL Sorry, but nope. That's not rational. They're not you're IT person, they were supposed to clean malware from your system and they weren't able to do that so how should they be given credibility to have such control over your system? Nope. No way. Uh-uh. Not in this lifetime. Yes, the Admin and separate accounts being kept separate is a good way to go, but in all my years of servicing computers, there's NO WAY I'd ever put myself in the position where I'd be the only one with passwords for a client's computer! Forget liability, forget the silly arguments, I *always* would not only give them the passwords, but tell them TO CHANGE them so there can't be an accusation toward me. Plus 5 year later when they call and cry that they can't remember the password, I remind them that they were to have changed it and I didn't have it. In reality, I doubt these people are all that intelligent computer-wise to do the things a person in that position could do. But that doesn't matter, I'd still have it wiped out. Given they couldn't clean some malware, and of course we don't know how serious it was, nor do we even know for sure there was a virus or other malware on there, but with the toold available now, readily available, free and easy to use, they shouldn't have wiped your computer. For security purposes, if you use this computer for anything requiring a password, I'd change all those passwords. Online banking, credit cards, etc, especially! That data is possible to dig out. When I had a system with important data on it that needed service, the first thing I did was back up the entire hard drive completely. That backup of course would be in my posession. Unscrupulous people could, at their liesure look thorugh your data and see what they could find. Am I overly-suspicious? Often, yes, but that's what I got paid to do. And I've done enough forensic data recovery to be amazed at what is on peoples' systems, readily accessible by anyone and the simplistic passwords used by many people. FWIW, my one partner thought she had a foolproof password on her computer. I guessed it in two tries! I'm not encouraging paranoia, just common sense caution. When something doesn't smell right, I don't swallow it. This wouldn't get near my mouth!...See MoreGetting Elderly Drivers Off The Road, Part Deux
Comments (38)rosemaryt, you have a tough situation and my heart goes out to you. Best wishes in a successful resolution to the problem. This is a very frustrating thread to read. People screaming for you to go commit a felony makes me just shake my head in disbelief. Laws vary from state to state so when you get "armchair lawyers", including myself, giving you advice, take it for ideas only since your situation will vary. A few things do come to mind though. First, the police are sympathetic and in fact, that's good for the public as a whole but doesn't help for this situation. Now you need a "hot dog" cop, but the problem is to find one. There are other options though, again however it varies in different jurisdictions. One is a "citizen complaint", "criminal complaint" or citizen's arrest. You need guidance to do this properly and if appropriate but seems to me that it could in this case. I'd doubt very highly you'd get him committed for evaluation with the adverse positions of the doctor and social worker. However if he is truly senile, and it's documented, then a guardianship is a definite possibility. But an involuntary guardianship is not easy, and rightly so. But you might be able to propose a temporary guardianship, a conservatorship or something to get a start. This won't be quick most likely, but is an option to consider. In MN, starting a guardianship proceeding would be more likely to get an eval ordered. Again, your state will vary. I hope you're paying no attention to the fools who suggest that you will be financially responsible for his actions. Good grief where do people get these ideas? That's stupid, plain and simple. C'mon folks, she needs help, support and ideas, not ridiculous ramblings. I suppose someone will running offended and I'll get a friendly reminder but so be it. It needed to be said. Likewise that you'll force a cop to do something, that you can sue the cops if something happens down the road and well, it's a highly emotional situation and obviously many people aren't thinking clearly. People watch too much "Boston Legal" or something and want to threaten to sue for anything thinking that people will cringe and fold. It may work with someone who doesn't know better, but threatening people that know better doesn't do anything more than make the person making the threat look like a complete idiot. Don't get caught up in that. It won't work. Also, I agree you should keep the insurance on the vehicle. I'd even go so far as to make sure the vehicles are, in fact insured. You insure the vehicle primarily so if in fact he has no valid license likely won't affect the insurance at least until he gets into an accident or ticket, at which time the company likely would cancel the coverage. Newspapers, TV, radio, media as a whole... well, this isn't a huge story in news terms but someone might be interested. But I think I'd pursue it with low expectations. Disabling the car hasn't worked. So you need a different plan of attack. Take a deep breath and try to relax. I know it's easier said than done though. Obviously you can't be following him around all over, first because you don't have the time and secondly you could be guilty of stalking if he is angry enough to push it, which he may well be. But a private security firm or private investigator is able to, but of course that will cost something. They can gather evidence, video his operation and even be able to make a complaint, though I'm not sure that many would want to get that involved. I could contact my former PI firm and see if they have any suggestions but since the laws vary, I think you'd be better off to seek some guidance locally. Most good places won't charge you to talk to you about the case and give you some ideas. Again, my best to you and yours. If I think of anything else I'll post again. I know what a tough situation it is. And my experience wasn't quite as drastic as yours, though my dad should have quit driving 20 years earlier. But that's a whole different story....See Morekudzu9
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